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Looks Like Christmas Came A Little Early In Gingerbread Man Land This Year!
So Re and I were at the grocery store the other day when we stumbled upon this amazing sight. We simply couldn't believe it. No, your eyes do not deceive you - this is indeed a Gingerbread Man Rape. You can forget about those traditional nativity scenes with the baby jeebus... this will now forever be the centerpiece of my Christmas holiday seasons!
Ok, so I'm sure you're wondering why the hell a grocery store would sell such a thing or why anybody would even make it. Well, the truth is, this isn't what was intended, it's just how it was left out on display in the grocery store. It's actually a novelty holiday wine bottle holder, but whoever put it out on display in the store clearly had different intentions. Without a wine bottle in place, we see nothing but hilarity and horror as a helpless little gingerbread man is being raped from behind. To add insult to injury, while being raped, the little guy is being forced to stare at the bare ass of the gingerbread man in front of him who is absolutely elated about the successful raping and humiliation taking place. Ah rape... isn't that what the holidays are really all about? (more...)
Neon Spray Painted Christmas Trees?
Here's a question for ya: is the intoxicating scent of a fresh pine tree worth subjecting yourself to such potentially blinding colors on a daily basis throughout the month of December? Even worse, you might blind Santa himself when he hops down that chimney and comes face to face with a neon pink spray painted Christmas tree. Not exactly the best way to stay off the naughty list.
Also, it's just weird seeing palm trees as the backdrop for a Christmas tree sales lot. Mele Kalikimaka, anyone?
Only in L.A.
Where Am I Doing All Of My Christmas Shopping? At Crazy Gideon’s!
Since I no longer live on the East Coast and Crazy Eddie is sadly a thing of the past, I've had this burning desire to find an electronics retailer with the level of insanity that I have come to expect. Fortunately, Los Angeles does not disappoint, because I've been seeing one particularly unstable individual on my TV lately who's part salesman and part madman. His name? Crazy Gideon. I imagine his electronic shop consists of nothing but battered television sets that he's destroyed during his uncontrollable daily rage-fits, and I'm dying to pay the place a visit. But this probably means very little to those of you who are unfamiliar with Crazy Gideon's, so I've put together this collection of his commercials so you can see exactly why he's making watching local television channels this holiday season far more enjoyable than usual: (more...)
Hallmark’s Pac-Man Christmas Ornament Has Arrived!
If there's one thing Christmas trees have been lacking all these years, it's miniaturized versions of classic arcade game cabinets. Thankfully, the people at Hallmark have decided to fill that void in style with their new Pac-Man Christmas keepsake ornament. Not only is it a fantastic reproduction of the classic arcade cabinet (though I would've preferred the cabinet original artwork), but it actually lights up and plays sounds from the game. We're not talking cheap sounds here either, these are the original sound effects taken directly from the arcade game. At $18.50, the price tag is a bit on the steep side, but that's a small price to pay to have your tree adorned with all this illuminated retro gaming goodness isn't it? The only way they could've made this ornament better was if it played a few animations from the game itself or they actually made it playable. Hey, I can dream. Suffice it to say, until you have this new Pac-Man ornament in your possession, you can consider the arduous task of decorating your tree to be incomplete. Hit the jump to see the Pactacular ornament in action: (more...)
Pretty Much The Most Awesome Thing Ever.
There are some people who think that I read too many comics, and though I may not personally agree with them, I have to admit that they might just be right about that. That's not my collection pictured up above, (I don't have quite that many comics), but I do have a lot.
In fact, RoG was so worried about my excessive comic book habit, he got someone considered to be something of a comics authority figure to record a special message for me, expressing his concern. Hit the jump to check it out. (more...)
Amazon’s New Holiday Toy List Makes Me Nauseous. Plus, The Power Wheels A.T. Rex!
So Amazon has ramped up their site for the coming Christmas season with an all new interactive Holiday Toy List, and it sure is flashy. So flashy that I get motion sickness if I look at it for more than just 20 seconds straight. I'm all for making the holiday shopping experience easier, and chances are I'll do most of mine online once again, but this particular interface just isn't cutting it for me. Give me simple pages where I can sort the items by price, type, or what have you... I can deal without the queasiness and the pseudo-iPhone interface.
Fortunately, the sour stomach wasn't all for nothing... for thanks to Amazon, I have now learned about what just might be the greatest Power Wheels ATV ever made: (more...)
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