The Daily Blabber Blog

  • Search the blog

in-which-my-hometown-stands-revealed

In Which My Hometown Stands Revealed.

by Max Burbank on 09/11/2008, 10:32 am

Max Burbank, reporting to you live (or UNalive... har! har!) from Salem, Massachusetts!

Laws, but I damn well love my hometown. And why not?

Say a whole busload of the most disreputable Carnie folk slammed at great speed into the National Museum of American History just as they’d convened their biggest black tie gala stuffed shirt capital campaign event ever, and you had to take the resulting mess and magically transform it into a geographical destination. The result might be something like Salem, Massachusetts.

Rich in Maritime history, home to Nathaniel Hawthorne, the very first place in North America to be visited by an Elephant, birthplace of Parker Brother’s Games; all regularly eclipsed by a very brief flirtation with Witch Hysteria followed by the execution of sixteen people based on spectral evidence. Small peanuts compared to Europe where you could roast marshmallows at an autodafe on every street corner for most of a century. (more...)

21 Comments

how-come-the-creature-from-the-black-lagoon-gets-no-respect

How Come The Creature From The Black Lagoon Gets No Respect?

by -RoG- on 09/09/2008, 2:48 am

What an amazing job they did on capturing his likeness! It's as if I'm staring at the REAL Creature from the Black Lagoon!

I feel bad for the Creature from the Black Lagoon. No really, I do. Sure, he's a famous monster 'n all... but when it comes down to it, he really doesn't get the kind of respect that Dracula, Frankenstein*, the Wolfman and The Mummy do. If you ask me, I think it's partially because of his epithetic name. He doesn't really have a name since Gill-man never caught on and I've always hated that name for him since gills aren't terrifying. Wolfman? Yeah, that's something you clearly don't wanna screw with. Gill-man? Sounds more like something your cat would have as a chew toy. Of course, "Creature from the Black Lagoon" which is quite a mouthful too, and if you shorten it to just plain old "Creature", nobody's gonna know what you're talking about. He really deserved a cooler name, but it's probably too late for that now. Sure, I still call him Lagoony from time to time, but I doubt Universal will do a modernized story about him featuring that nickname anytime soon (nor should they). I guess I just don't understand why they couldn't come up with a catchy short name for him like Swamp Thing had. And hey, speaking of Swamp Thing, that brings me to my next point... (more...)

51 Comments

dracula-is-a-pill-popper

Dracula Is A Pill Popper!

by -RoG- on 09/05/2008, 9:50 am

I vant to drink your bl... AH SCREW IT! SAY BUDDY! I NEED A FIX! CAN YA HELP ME OUT!? JUST ONE FIX!!!

I knew it! Dracula is a bona fide pill popper! Just look at the package for these blood capsules and you'll see all the proof you need. He's poppin' pills like they were Halloween candies! Come to think of it, a lot of horror & sci-fi icons we celebrate became monsters because of too much exposure to certain chemicals. The Toxic Avenger, C.H.U.D., Jack Frost, countless zombies and more... all of 'em had too much exposure to chemicals in one way or another. With that in mind, is it really too hard to believe that a drug addict would wake up one day and decide that he was a creature of the night who had to suck blood from the necks of the innocent for nourishment? Maybe they should put Dracula on those new "I Lost Me To Meth" campaigns that I've been seeing all over the place. You know what? I'm gonna do the job for 'em and make that poster myself... (more...)

31 Comments

i-mockerys-2008-halloween-season-has-begun

I-Mockery’s 2008 Halloween Season Has Begun!

by -RoG- on 09/01/2008, 6:47 pm

Greetings, ghouls 'n goblins! Welcome to I-Mockery's 2008 Halloween season!

Yes indeedy, it's that time of year again! As most of you know, September 1st marks the beginning of our annual "2 Months of Halloween" celebration here on I-Mockery. Everything you see on this site between now and October 31st will be nothing but Halloween-oriented goodness (or badness, depending on what we happen to be covering). This is my absolute favorite time of the year. I love seeing the horror movies slowly creep their way onto TV stations more frequently. I love seeing the latest Halloween candies trickle into all the stores around town. I love seeing the seasonal Halloween stores pop-up for a brief time in some shoddy old retail space that was previously home to squatters, rats and... squatters who eat rats. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm really glad that Halloween is a comin'.

We've got all sorts o' spookylicious things planned for the 2008 Halloween season here on I-Mockery, but if any of you have suggestions for things you'd like to see us cover, please let us know. It doesn't matter if it's a Halloween event taking place in your area, a horror movie, a costume, some new candy, or some completely bizarro new Halloween novelty... we wanna hear about it.

To those of you who aren't well acquainted with our admittedly over the top annual Halloween celebration here on I-Mockery, I recommend you check out some of our main Halloween attractions. And hell, even if you've been with us for years, it wouldn't hurt to look back over all that old stuff to help get in the spirit o' things.

-I-Mockery's Halloween Collection: Here you'll find quick 'n easy access to most of our Halloween material from the past. Extremely in-depth horror movie and candy reviews, product reviews, and of course the boppin' Halloween adventures of Count Pop himself.

-The Halloween Grab Bag: Much like our "Shorts" section, this is a place where you'll find our smaller Halloween articles, but often covering some of the weirdest stuff we've ever stumbled upon.

-The Greatest Horror Movie Moments: Another favorite is our ongoing quest to document some of the finest moments in horror movies. Sometimes they're moments you're well aware of, other times, it's stuff you probably never knew existed. Either way, if you're looking for some horror movies to check out this season, this is a good place to start.

-Trick-Or-Treat Adventure: Our largest Flash game to date... and it's all about Halloween. If you're a fan of classic adventure games such as Monkey Island and Space Quest, you'll feel right at home with this one as you go on an adventure to build a Halloween costume and then collect enough candies before you battle the ultimate evil! It even auto-saves your progress as you go play, so you don't have to beat the game all in one sitting.

Of course, you can still expect our regular site updates to the Blabber Blog and Weeklies section (and we have plenty of archived Halloween blog entries for you peruse), along with a whole new slew of Halloweeny articles this season. We've also got some great Halloween contests in store for you to participate in as well. I-Mockery's big 2008 Halloween season has finally begun and I hope you guys will all be here for the spooktacular ride!

47 Comments

mega-man-9-box-art-poster-giveaway

Mega Man 9 Box Art Poster Giveaway!

by -RoG- on 08/18/2008, 10:49 pm

UPDATE: Winners have been announced! Click here to see! (scroll to the bottom of the thread)

If you don't love this Mega Man 9 retro-style box art by Gerald de Jesus, you are truly dead inside

By now, I'm sure you've seen our big photo gallery from the 2008 "I Am 8-Bit" opening reception (if not, click here to see it). Well, in addition to getting to see all of that amazing video game inspired artwork in person along with the excellent chiptunes courtesy of Leeni, they were giving away Mega Man 9 posters. Now, for those of you who aren't familiar with the classic Mega Man games (and if you're not, you should remedy that as soon as possible), the series was notorious for having some of the most hilariously awful box art. Well, in celebration of the new Mega Man 9 game coming out on the Nintendo Wii Virtual Console, an artist by the name of Gerald de Jesus created the amazingly accurate retro-style box art for the game. I'm hoping Capcom will do a limited edition release of the game on classic NES cartridges, but I'm not gonna get my hopes up for that. Fortunately, I'll always have the poster for the game... and now some of you can too.

I'm giving away three (3) of these super snazzy Mega Man 9 posters, but in order to be one of the winners you need to come up with a new robot master. No you don't have to draw one (though, should you feel inclined, feel free to do so), all you need to do is simply come up with a name for the robot master and describe its unique abilities. For those of you not quite as familiar with the Mega Man series, I suggest checking this list to make sure your idea for a robot master hasn't already been done in one of the games. You can enter as many times as you like, just post your entries in this thread. We'll be judging these entries solely on creativity, so good luck!

This contest ends on August 26th, 2008.

UPDATE: Winners have been announced! Click here to see! (scroll to the bottom of the thread)

205 Comments

rainbow-brite-and-the-star-stealer

Rainbow Brite And The Star Stealer.

by -RoG- on 08/09/2008, 6:10 am

I wonder if that Krys character riding on the robotic horse, On-X, was Capcom's inspiration for Mega Man.

Just when I thought the New Beverly Cinema couldn't possibly get any better with their midnight movies, I find out that they are actually having a showing of Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer tonight. Clearly, no parent is going to be taking their kids to a midnight screening of the movie, so I can only expect nothing but the rowdiest of audiences to attend this event.

So the question I ask all of you is simple: Can you think of a better way to spend your Saturday midnight-and-beyond hours than in a theater with a bunch of fellow insomniacs as they laugh and yell at Rainbow Brite on the big screen? Now before you rush to answer that question, I require that you watch the following music video from the movie in its entirety: (more...)

107 Comments

« Older Entries Newer Entries »

[Features] [Shorts] [Games] [Comics] [Weeklies] [Blog] [Info] [Store] [Advertise] [Home]


Copyright © 1997-2025 I-Mockery Productions : All Rights Reserved : (E-mail)
No portion of I-Mockery may be reprinted in any form without prior consent.
We reserve the right to swallow your soul... and spit out the chewy parts.