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Holiday M&M’s, Root Beer Kegs and I-Mockery’s movie cameo

by -RoG- on 11/10/2006, 1:39 pm

I think I'm officially into the holiday season now. All it ever takes is a few trips to the stores (which are now totally decked out with Xmas stuff) and my annual tradition of watching "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" around this time of year to get me into it all. Sure, it's not as cool as Halloween, but that doesn't mean there's not plenty o' stuff to have fun with, and I'll be damned if there aren't just as many new candies that come out during the holiday season each year as there are come Halloween. Of the few new holiday candies I've tried out so far my favorite would have to be these...

Limited Edition Mint Chocolate M&M's!

Yes indeed, all the goodness of M&M's combined with a tasty mint flavor. How can you go wrong with that? Let's hope that these new mint chocolate M&M's aren't going to be a "limited edition" like the bag states. I'd definitely like to see them be a year-round flavor. While they really are good, I must warn you... don't try scarfing down a ton of these at once. You may be able to eat a full bag of regular M&M's no problemo, but you can only eat but so many of these mint chocolate ones before they start to make you feel nauseas. But hey, at least that means each bag is gonna last you a lot longer. And if mint isn't your thing, there's still the usual assortment of M&M's out there and the bags are all decked out for the holidays. The dark chocolate flavored M&M's are also a lot easier to find this time of year, andif you haven't had them, I definitely suggest picking up a bag cuz they're damned good too.

And for those of you who don't get excited by new candies, perhaps this will interest ya...

Virgil's Root Beer Party Keg!

Virgil's Root Beer Party Keg! This was at my local grocery store mixed in with all of the other Xmas treats. I'm honestly not even sure if it's intended to be a holiday item or not, but it does kinda look like the mighty Virgil has emerged from the North Pole to bring the kids some frothy mugs of his finest root beer! And when the kids drink his hearty beverage, they too will be able to grow the same impressive facial hair! Virgil is a holiday hero! Damnit, now I need a picture of Virgil serving up that fine root beer on a t-shirt. From what I hear, this is actually some of the best tasting root beer out there and I look forward to cracking open this bad boy. Sure, it's almost 20 bux... but who can pass up on owning an entire KEG of this stuff? Michael J. Fox couldn't, and neither can I.

I'd listen to the man if I were you.

In other news, the trailer for StagKnight is out. For those of you new to the site or who don't remember, Stagknight is a cheezy horror/comedy from the UK and our web site has a small cameo during the movie. In fact, the director just sent me a screenshot of it:

The I-Mockery web site is a movie star in StagKnight! No autographs please! LOL

Pretty spiffy! No word yet on whether the web site will be walking down the red carpet though. But if it does, it'll definitely be wearing Versace, because fuck that Vera Wang shit. Only Versace knows how to dress the site right.

Random survey: Aside from drinking it, list other possible uses for a giant keg of root beer.

Random survey #2: Since there was never a spin-off movie about the life of Owen from Planes, Trains and Automobiles (of of greatest supporting character roles ever), share your thoughts on what a movie based on him would be like. Furthermore, explain the origins of the insane facial expression and nasal sound he makes.

20 Comments

So what’s November for again?

by -RoG- on 11/06/2006, 5:04 pm

November has always been a strange month to me. I know for many, it's the month where you celebrate Thanksgiving and watch a lot of football, but I honestly don't care about either of those things. I'm not a fan of football and I'll take chicken over turkey any day. And Thanksgiving parades (or any parade for that matter) are about as interesting and entertaining to watch as a colonoscopy. Thanksgiving never really seemed like much of a holiday anyway, it's more like a last-minute huzzah before the nightmarish Xmas shopping frenzy goes into full effect. It's almost like Thanksgiving doesn't exist when you go to the stores too because everywhere you look it's nothing but Xmas products and decorations. For me, November has really become more of a rest period between Halloween and Xmas. Sure, I still work a lot, but I'm not out at the store every day and night looking for the latest candies and costumes.

That's not to say that November still doesn't have plenty of stuff worth writing about. Quite the contrary. One of my favorite things about November is that Jones Soda puts out their annual Holiday Packs. They're always guaranteed to bring you some laughs, especially if you can convince a friend to actually drink a "Pea" or "Antacid" flavored soda (plus some of the proceeds go to good charities like St. Jude Children's Research Hospital). The holiday packs are more what dares are based on rather than sodas you'd really want to drink. Though it seems that they're trying to partially combat that this year as they also released a "Dessert Pack" for the 2006 holiday season which contains a variety of pie flavored sodas - Key Lime, Banana Cream, Blueberry, Cherry and Apple. You can check out our big feature taste test / morning news parody of all their new sodas HERE. Let me know what ya think!

This November also marks the release of the Nintendo Wii, and while I never preorder these things or buy them on the first day, I can't hide my excitement over trying out this new system. I've said it before and I'll say it again; while other companies seem to just want to upgrade the graphics and power of the system, Nintendo is trying to rethink how games are played and trying to bring us something NEW. I really can't wait to try out all these new games, but I also won't lie when I say I'm dying to get my hands on the Metal Slug Anthology disc. All the Metal Slug games on one disk? Sold!

In other news, we're hoping to have our next flash game out sometime early next month and I think it's really looking good so far. Can't wait to show it to you guys! Also, congrats to Dean Vanderkolk of Orion, MI on winning our Halloween Prize Pack contest which was a tie-in with our 2006 Scary-Ass Cards collection! I'm gonna be sending out his box full o' Halloweeny goodies in the next couple of days or so.

Turkey Television needs to be put on DVD!

Gobble, gobble. (Big points to anybody who actually remembers the "Turkey Television" sketch comedy show on Nickelodeon - it's one of my favorite exports from Canada and it needs to be put on DVD. And no, it didn't have anything to do with Thanksgiving, it's just that whenever I think about Thanksgiving or turkeys, I'm reminded of the show)

Random Survey: What else do you guys like / dislike about November?

Random Survey #2: Are you getting a Nintendo Wii? If so, do you plan on getting it the day they come out or are you gonna wait a while for the hoopla to die down?

39 Comments

happy-halloween

Happy Halloween!

by -RoG- on 10/31/2006, 4:53 am

Are you ready for a super fun Halloween time filled with Rockabilly goodness?

For all of you who've been waiting and asking and begging and pleading and bleeding for it; the all new Count Pop Halloween adventure is here! Enjoy and then get out there and get yourselves some candy on this greatest of all holidays! I expect to hear full, detailed reports about all of your Halloween excursions whether you go Trick-or-Treating, go to costume parties, or sit on your ass and watch some of the finest horror movies money can buy! Spare no details!

On a final note, I have to say two things. 1) I'm extremely proud of what we did on I-Mockery this Halloween season. Two full months of nonstop updates. I honestly think this was the best Halloween ever on I-Mockery... no contest. Major kudos to my partners in crime: Dr. Boogie, Max Burbank and Protoclown. Also big thanks to Re for putting up with me during all this seasonal madness! And thanks to BoM and PoX for working on the surprise Halloween flash game with me! 2) Thanks to all of you who've been sending in such nice compliments about the articles and for participating in all the fun. Without you guys for an audience, we wouldn't be doing this. Ok, well, we would be because this is what we like to do to pass the time, but it wouldn't be nearly as fun!

I really hope you've all enjoyed I-Mockery's Halloween celebrations this year. I consider it a big turning point for the site and you can expect more and more new material on the site each week! For the rest of this week, I think we've all earned ourselves a break... and CANDY!

47 Comments

jek-porkins-and-ponda-baba-in-haunted-house-candy-hunt

Jek Porkins and Ponda Baba in… Haunted House Candy Hunt!

by -RoG- on 10/27/2006, 4:52 am

Would you like to play a game?

14 Comments

halloween-junk-mail

Halloween Junk Mail

by -RoG- on 10/25/2006, 3:47 am

Wanna know another thing that makes Halloween unique? I actually look forward to getting my junk mail every day. When I go out to my mailbox, even if I'm not expecting any important letters or packages, I can almost always count on a pile of junk mail to be waiting for me. Well, during Halloween season, that junk mail is often stuff that's fun to look at... even if it's just for a minute or two. All the local costume shops must have the printers working some late graveyard shifts, because every single day I get a new flyer from them. Sure, they showcase most of the same costumes and other Halloween novelties, but it's still always fun to flip through the pages to see if there's something new. Granted, I've always liked Halloween ads and I even did a advertisement photo gallery feature about them last year. Today, however, came what is probably the best piece of Halloween junk mail I've received so far this season:

I vant to suck your Pizza! Pizza!

Little Caesars shows exactly how all businesses should completely embrace Halloween in their advertisements come October every year. They could've just shown Little Caesar dressed as Dracula, but no, they went all out by including pictures of the other classic Universal monsters on the wall too. Then to top it all off, they fill a coffin with pizzas. A COFFIN FILLED WITH PIZZAS. What more could you need in a Halloween advertisement?

I honestly think they're onto something with that image too. Wouldn't you all pay a little extra to the delivery guy if they delivered your pizza to you... IN A COFFIN? I know I would. Seriously, they should just make some coffin-shaped pizzas, put them in coffin-shaped cardboard boxes and they would be the PIZZA KINGS every year for Halloween. If they did that, I'd even forgive them for not carrying their "crazy crust" pizza anymore. For those of you who never had it, they used to offer all different kinds of so-call "crazy" pizza crusts - the best being poppy-seed. Well anyway, that's my story about Halloween junk mail. Pizza, pizza. Have you gotten any amusing Halloween advertisements this year?

So in other news, this is a huge week for I-Mockery. The last full week before Halloween and you know that means a lot of the big stuff we've been working extra hard on this season is coming up. You probably noticed that on Monday and Tuesday we had double-feature days... yep, TWO new pieces in one day. Don't be surprised if you see that happen a few more times before Halloween rolls around!

I've also put up two features, "The Greatest American Hero Costume" and "The Haunt Your Own House Kit" which include some videos. That's another thing I've been slowly working towards doing a lot more of on I-Mockery, so lemme know what ya think of 'em!

And last, but certainly not least... the biggest piece of the entire Halloween season is finally here: I-Mockery's 2007 "Select Your Destiny" Halloween Story! If you've been with the site over the years, you know that this is an annual tradition between myself and the other writers on the site. We spend months working together on a story, playing off of each other with what we write, and come the final week before Halloween, we unveil it for you to enjoy! This is easily the most fun we've had doing a story together and I'm sure it will show in the writing. It's also the largest one of these stories that we've ever done, so it should keep you busy for a while. Hope you enjoy the adventure!

17 Comments

bravo-tvs-even-scarier-moments

Bravo TV’s “Even Scarier Moments”

by -RoG- on 10/21/2006, 3:26 pm

I just wanted to chime in here real quick today. As a result of catching one of those "Hey, let's ruin your life for the next 48 hours!" flu-type things; I've been watching Bravo TV's "Even Scarier Moments" show which counts down what they consider to be the greatest, scariest scenes from horror movies. Have any of you seen this? All I can say is that it makes me want to put my fist through the TV set. The list is so far off it's not even funny and it just screams of some film studios paying off Bravo to make sure they include some of the horror movies from recent years in the top 20.

They actually rated "Hostel" as #1 on the list. Hostel. HOSTEL!?!? I'm sorry, but that movie was awful. It wasn't scary... it felt like roughly 70 minutes of some American college guys chasing tail in Slovakia, with a little "horror" thrown in at the end. I should note that I have no problem with nudity in horror movies... the two have always gone hand in hand. But come on, Hostel!? Release thy dick from thy grasp and get real for a minute. The movie honestly felt like something you'd see in Cinemax late at night rather than a bona fide horror flick. When a horror movie relies so heavily on the nudity, you know it just doesn't have a lot going for it.

Anyway, during the show, they have lots of guests (many of whom work/worked in horror movies) giving their two cents about the movies featured on the list. Eli Roth (creator of Hostel), however, seemed to be there to comment on almost every single one. Now, I don't think Eli is a bad guy. He seems like a genuine horror movie fan and I'm sure he's an ok guy in real life; but with him being on the show so much and his movie being in the #1 spot on the list, it just makes you wonder if he (or the studio he works for) had a lot of pull with Bravo in regards to what movies made the top 20. After all, they do have a sequel coming out.

When I see mediocre-at-best horror movies like "Saw" or "Hostel" ranking higher than the likes of "Dead Alive," "Phantasm," "The Thing," "The Shining" and a number of Hitchcock classics... I have no doubts that Bravo's "Even Scarier Moments" list is full of shit. Then again, I suppose this should come as no surprise considering this is the channel that brought us fantastic shows such as "Being Bobby Brown". The only thing "Even Scarier" about their list is to think that some people out there would actually agree with it. Hell, I'm sure some of you who are reading this absolutely love movies like Saw and Hostel and consider me to be a madman for speaking out against them. That's fine, to each his own. I just think some people, namely the younger audiences who perhaps haven't had a chance to see any horror films other than what's come out in the past 5 years, don't know what they're missing.

On a related note; I love flipping through all the channels on TV and seeing horror movies/shows playing on most of them throughout the day. Why can't TV be like that all year round?

Survey: If you could re-write the show and make your own list, what horror movie moments would be in your final top 10 and why?

58 Comments

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