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its-february-14th-a-very-special-day

It’s February 14th, A Very Special Day.

by Protoclown on 02/14/2008, 12:21 pm

Love Locke Lost

That's right, there's a new episode of LOST on tonight! I seriously haven't been sucked into a show like this (with the exception of Dexter) in years. I know the show has its nay-sayers ("the show isn't going anywhere", "they're just making it up as they go", etc), but I absolutely must know how they're going to tie everything together at the end of this series. It's either going to be the most disappointing ending of all time, or it's going to prove beyond all doubt what an amazing writing team they have working on the show. Time will tell, but either way I'm hooked until the end. (more...)

25 Comments

whats-with-the-super-bowl-anyway

What’s With The Super Bowl Anyway?

by Protoclown on 02/04/2008, 3:41 am

super duper!

So how many of you guys give a shit about the Super Bowl? I just can't bring myself to give a damn. As entertainment goes, it's far too boring to hold my interest, and the commercials that everyone else thinks are "hilarious" and "cute" only seem to "piss" me "off". Every time I see them all I can think of is how these companies are trying to manipulate me into buying their crappy products. And hey, there certainly are some cute and funny commercials out there, I'm sure, but that doesn't change the fact that whenever I see a commercial my field of vision is taken over by the red haze of pure rage, which makes it kind of hard to enjoy anything. (more...)

57 Comments

the-joker-is-dead

The Joker is Dead.

by Protoclown on 01/26/2008, 3:54 pm

Why so serious?

I'm sure most of you have heard by now about how Heath Ledger died this week. I hadn't seen very many of his movies at all, but I was really looking forward to his performance as the Joker in the upcoming The Dark Knight. The trailers look promising, and as a huge Batman fan I'm curious to see how this take on the character will turn out. It could be a tremendous pile of poo, but I can't wait to find out.

And of course, I can and still will do that. But this puts a major monkeywrench in that film franchise, as rumor has it the Joker is supposed to be in the third movie as well, and in it he's supposed to do something kind of important (I won't say what for those of you who care about spoilers but I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about). So now the question is, will they write out the Joker's role in that third film or will they have someone else play the part? I can't see how either one of those wouldn't suck, at least from a standpoint of consistency. And say they got someone awesome like Crispin Glover to play the Joker--he doesn't really look like Heath Ledger so that would be end up being retarded.

I remember when The Crow came out and the death of Brandon Lee pretty much cast a huge shadow over that movie that it could never get out from under (not that it should have--and hey, isn't it kind of weird that the last film either of these guys did was a comic book movie where they wear eerily similar clown makeup?). What should've been a fun and awesome comic book movie this summer will now be kind of depressing and will always bear the mark of being Heath Ledger's last completed movie (unless he's further along in the upcoming Terry Gilliam film than I think).

At least (odds are) he went out on a high note as far as last films go. Just look at poor Raul Julia.

43 Comments

sexy-email-time

Sexy Email Time.

by Protoclown on 01/22/2008, 11:10 am

oh baby

My work email server keeps getting bombarded with spam emails about how I can enlarge my cock or give myself more stamina in the sack, and nearly every morning I have a new email waiting for me with a list of items that have been filtered out. Since some of these names are just classic, I've decided to share them here: (more...)

37 Comments

hey-comic-nerds

Hey, Comic Nerds.

by Protoclown on 01/14/2008, 3:59 am

Discover the feeling... learn to read.

Now before you get your Wolverine panties in a bunch over me calling you nerds, you can rest assured that I'm one too. Now that we have that out of the way, a lot of people have inquired about what comics I read on a monthly basis. I mean, it's pretty obvious from my Longbox columns what comics I don't like, but what ones do I actually enjoy reading (or hate myself enough to keep buying)?

So I figured I'd share my "pull list", and then maybe you can show me your "pull list", and then maybe we can go somewhere private and pull each other's lists for a while. (more...)

61 Comments

damned-new-years-resolutionists

Damned New Years Resolutionists.

by Protoclown on 01/09/2008, 6:24 pm

Sweatin' to the Oldies!

You know what annoys me the most about this time of year? New Years Resolutionists. There's always someone at my work who's decided once and for all to change their lifestyle and go on that diet, but within a week they're back to gorging themselves on whatever free shit just happens to be up for grabs on the free-for-all counter in the kitchen.

These people are so not-serious about changing their lives that they have to actually wait around until the big event, the ball drop, the calendar flip, even though they started cooking up their Grand Scheme of Change on December 11th; it just wasn't time yet. Gotta have that one last hurrah, that last holiday supper of Henry VIII proportions, that one last prostitute with an eye patch, potbelly and wooden leg. Only after they've gotten it out of their system will they be ready. I'm tired of hearing people talk about it. (more...)

34 Comments

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