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badass-cute-cartoon-characters-um-no

Badass Cute Cartoon Characters? Um, No.

by Protoclown on 03/24/2008, 12:24 pm

HULK SMASH BROS

So my roommate picked up Super Smash Bros. Brawl last week, and he and I have been kicking each others' asses for a good week now. Hell, we've even played the game some too, and it's a lot of fun, if you like those kind of games. But here's what I can't get over: Every time in the single player game that you get to a new character intro screen, they try to strike some kind of "badass" pose when it freezes on their still image and their name appears on the screen beneath them. (more...)

84 Comments

beetles-and-gum-together-at-last

Beetles And Gum, Together At Last!

by -RoG- on 03/21/2008, 12:17 am

Let's have a stag party... a stag beetle party that is! HOORAY FOR BUG JOKES ROFLROFLROFL!

The last time I reported to you about something interesting I found at Mitsuwa Marketplace, the greatest Japanese grocery store in L.A., it was to show you that the old Orbitz novelty beverages do still exist under the guise of Capsela. Today, I wanted to share with you this little oddity that I recently found in Mitsuwa's candy aisle. Granted, I don't speak a word of Japanese, but when I see a box depicting stag beetles crawling around on it in the candy aisle, I don't ask questions... I just buy, buy, buy! So just what were these mystery stag beetle boxes all about? Let's take a closer look... (more...)

36 Comments

who-couldnt-use-a-tentacle-arm

Who Couldn’t Use A Tentacle Arm?

by -RoG- on 03/16/2008, 2:42 pm

please note: the Tentacle Arm is simply a novelty item and NOT a rape device.

If there's one thing we humans got screwed over on, it's gotta be our lack of tentacles. Yes, yes, the whole opposable thumbs thing is keen, don't get me wrong... I just think when it comes down to it, we could all accomplish a hell of a lot more if we had tentacles. Just imagine the power you'd feel with suction cups on your squigly arm extension.

Well, fortunately the Gaia Online Store has decided to grant us the same powers that have been bestowed upon our octopus and squid brethren. Behold the almighty tentacle arm! (more...)

32 Comments

dont-eat-the-yellow-polymer-snow

Don’t Eat The Yellow Polymer Snow.

by -RoG- on 03/11/2008, 3:29 pm

Warning: Super Snow is not a dietary supplement. It may, however, prove to be a powerful laxative.

One of the perks of running a big entertainment site is that you get all sorts of interesting emails from people. Yes, I get to hear from lots of cool, like-minded people who want to share their thoughts about the articles I've written or to tell me about something I should write about at some point, but I also get to hear from nutjobs every now 'n then too. Today I received an email from one of those delightful wackos, and the best part is that this one decided to breed.

Remember that article about "Super Snow" I did back in December of '06? Well a mom just sent me an email inquiring about the product that I simply had to share with you. I'll omit her full name to spare her any public embarrassment, but you've got to read this: (more...)

50 Comments

you-can-shoot-the-dog-from-duck-hunt-hallelujah

You CAN Shoot The Dog From Duck Hunt! Hallelujah!

by -RoG- on 03/08/2008, 3:32 pm

HAR! HAR! YOU FAILED TO KILL HARMLESS ANIMALS WITH A GUN!

One of the earliest Flash games I ever made was "Kill The Dog From Duck Hunt" - a simple game which allowed you to get sweet revenge over that damned dog for laughing at you whenever you missed your ducky targets in the classic NES game, Duck Hunt. I figured I was in the minority when it came to people who wanted to see that 8-bit dog die a painful death, but that silly little Flash game got a huge response and inspired me to keep making more games. The reason I made that little game is because the original NES version of Duck Hunt did not allow you to shoot that dog, despite there being some urban legends suggesting you could. While it's true that you can't shoot the dog on the NES game, I recently found out that there IS a way for you to legitimately gun down that cocky canine without having to resort to my homebrew Flash game to blow off some steam. Take a look: (more...)

44 Comments

in-which-i-thank-kid-rock

In Which I Thank Kid Rock.

by Max Burbank on 03/06/2008, 2:46 pm

My name is kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid... er, say, can anybody spare a buck so I can buy a waffle?

“Kid Rock Pleads Not Guilty to Waffle House Battery”

Understand, I only vaguely know who Kid Rock is. I know he’s a celebrity musician, rock or rap or something, and I seem to recall a Dwarf associated with one of his videos. I know he has dabbled in the country music scene, and that there is a slight odor of proud white trash about him, and if he hasn’t had a reality show already I’m sure he will. I want to be clear that I can’t call a single tune of his to mind and that my knowledge of him is gained completely through cultural osmosis. And I want to thank him. (more...)

27 Comments

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