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Memorial Day Weekend Plans?
Alright, time to spill the proverbial beans, guts, or whatever it is that you have to spill. What are you guys doing this holiday weekend? And for our mockers outside the US, by all means, feel free to share with us what you're doing. Chances are you're doing something far less lame than we are anyway.
As for me, I'm gonna be around Orange County in Santa Ana, Costa Mesa and Newport Beach. Never been there before but Re's in a group art show at the Orange County Center for Contemporary Art on Saturday night, so we figured we'd make a nice weekend getaway out of it. If you have any places to suggest that we visit while we're there, by all means post them here and hopefully I'll have a chance to read 'em before we head out each day.
Hope you all have a spiffy weekend and make sure you stay safe if you go to the beach. Trust me, there are more dangers at the beach than you might think...
Dig my little ants… dig!
As I mentioned in my last post, I now own the Antworks Illuminated Ant Habitat thanks to one generous I-Mockery reader. I didn't have too much to post about it at the time because the ants I ordered for it hadn't arrived yet. But they're here now, and man are they busy in their slimy new home of gelatinous blue goop.
Unfortunately, only five of the twenty-five harvester ants I ordered using the coupon that came with the Antworks kit survived the trip (even though I put a rush order on them). Actually, I really have no way of knowing if they just threw a bunch of dead ants in there and mailed them to me or not. Still, I sent them a complaint and hopefully they'll send me some extra ones soon. I understand that not all of them are expected to survive the trip (especially considering how the postal service has literally mangled some of my packages to the point where you would think they had been raped with a circular saw) but five ants is still pretty weak. Nonetheless, they've kept me plenty entertained as I watch them adjust to their new space-age home.
So the way it works is you start off by creating 4 small "starter holes" to help the ants get started with their tunneling. Sure enough, one of the ants started digging in one of the holes I had created about a day later. Then another ant, who will be known as "Rebel" from here on out, decided to go against the will of his captor and start digging a brand new hole of his own in the corner of the habitat. What's more, after he started doing this, he convinced all of his other ant pals to help him out, including the ant that had started digging in the hole I had created for him.
A funny thing happened though before the first ant finally joined the others. That one ant took some goop from his hole that I had created and covered up Rebel's hole with it. LOL. YOU GOT ANT PRANKED!
Anyway, once their tunnel reached the base of the habitat, they created a second artery from inside it which leads all the way back up to the top. The result of all this digging has created a large pile of goop on the surface which the ants are all too happy to sleep and snack on. I also think they're creating this pile as a makeshift ladder in hopes of reaching the ceiling.
Oh, and for anybody who's considering getting one of these Antworks habitats, I highly recommend getting the one with the glowing blue LED light base. After all, what's better than watching ants eat and dig their way through blue goop? Watching them eat and dig their way through glowing blue goop.
And now, some pics of the ants and their handiwork:
Click any of the above pics to enlarge!
Burgertime Baddies Battle!
Now that I've got some good video capture software, I was really happy to finally be able to do an article on "Tag Team" because there was virtually nothing about the TV show anywhere on the web. No footage of it to be found and only a small entry on IMDB. I was lucky enough to stumble on a copy of the pilot episode a while back (along with some other old shows that hardly anybody has ever heard of that I will surely be reviewing at some point) and I was laughing my ass off at how bad, yet hilarious it was. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Jesse "The Body" Ventura in a show about ex-wrestlers who become cops, yet still use their wrestling moves to fight the bad guys? How can you go wrong with a formula like that? If only the TV execs had given that show the greenlight... who knows what hilarity we would've been treated to during a full season. Ah well, at least you can all check out the pilot episode to experience what could have been. If you don't enjoy it, I'll have some words with you down in Piper's Pit.
In other news, an I-Mockery reader just sent me the Antworks Illuminated Ant Habitat from my wish list which rocks, because I was just talking about getting some pets the other week. And really, what could make better pets than a bunch of ants? Ok, well a lot of things could make for better pets than ants, but this is still gonna rock. I already sent away for the ants to be mailed to me (they don't come with the ant farm) so hopefully they'll be arriving soon. It's gonna be nice watching ants eat and tunnel through glowing blue goo. Pictures will be forthcoming as soon as I receive the ants. Maybe you guys can help me name them. Then again, it'd probably be hard to keep track of which ant is which.
So the other day I was playing Burgertime and got to thinking, "What if the bad guys from Burgertime no longer wanted to kill chef Peter Pepper and instead turned on each other? Who would win in this 3-way battle?" Clearly there's only one way to settle this:
For our next big "Showdown" discussion here in the I-Mockery blog, we must choose who would emerge victorious in an all-out brawl: Mr. Hot Dog, Mr. Egg, or Mr. Pickle. Cast your votes and be sure to back up why you think your choice would win with supporting evidence!
Also why aren't there any female counterparts to these foods? Furthermore, how can they even tell if a hot dog, egg and pickle are males? Ok, granted, a hot dog is phallic by nature, but what about the other two?
Spider-Man, celebrity run-ins and Hooters for kids.
Hope you guys have enjoyed "Spider-Man Week" here on I-Mockery. Each day we put up a new Spidey-themed piece in preparation for the release of Spider-Man 3. For those of you who've already seen the new movie, what'd you think? I'm sure I'll be checking it out sometime soon and then will share my thoughts on it. After all, if there's one person who can pull off Venom, it's gotta be Sam Raimi.
So the other night I was out for a late walk around downtown Burbank when who do I run into? Jay Leno. He didn't have any camera crews with him, he was just out for a walk around town I guess. The studio where they film the Tonight Show is only about a mile from where we are, so it's not too surprising. Even though I'm not into his humor, it was pretty surreal just seeing him walking around in public without a camera crew or crowds of people asking for autographs.
Two days later, I'm walking in West Hollywood and I see a shiny black Escalade with tinted windows parked on the street, but one of the windows is rolled down. Who's sitting there? Mike Tyson. It's hard to miss a guy like that because a) he's got that crazy facial tattoo and b) he's just plain crazy. He stopped speaking on his phone for a minute and stared at me and I just smiled and kept walking as I could only imagine what was going through his mind. I'd venture to guess that he was wondering about eating my face or whether you spell "car" with a "c" or a "k". Either way, I didn't want to stick around to find out, and I sure as hell wasn't gonna brag to him about how I beat his ass in "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out" back in the day.
Elsewhere, Re and I were in Pasadena for a little while last weekend and couldn't help but burst into laughter as we walked by the local Hooters restaurant. No, we weren't laughing at the pathetic simps who claim they go there because, "the food is really good!"... we were laughing at this:
Yep, in one window they have a sign announcing their menu for children and in the next window over they've got bikini-clad Hooters girls. Can you imagine that family gathering...
(After a long day at work, Dad arrives back at home)
Kids: "Daddy! Daddy! We're so glad you're home! We missed you!"
Dad: "Haha, oh I love you kids!"
Wife: "Honey! It's so good to see you! I made you some nice meatloaf for dinner!"
Dad: "You know what? I'm in a good mood today! I've got a steady job, I've got a loving wife and I've got two beautiful children! Ok family, hop in the car because... WE'RE GOING TO HOOTERS!"
Family: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
When I was a kid, we went to Chuck E. Cheese's. Man oh man, how times have changed...
Oh and one last reminder: Don't forget tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day!
Alright, on with the Spider-Man 3 discussion! Let's hear your web slingin' thoughts.
Yo Compu-Geeks! Wanna work for I-Mockery?
Just a quick note to let you guys know that we're currently looking to hire a Developer/Admin for I-Mockery's big site redesign, and most likely some ongoing work after that project is completed. You can read all the details about the jobby-job here.
In other news, I'm really happy to have finally done a piece on "Clash of the Titans". It's one of those movies that I must've watched a hundred times while I was growing up and I hope it brings back a lot o' memories for you too. Memories of severed Medusa heads, a hero with big, pouty lips and... robotic owls. Check out the article and let me know what you think.
I'd also like to remind you guys that we've just launched another forum contest in which you get to create a horrific Christmas tree for a chance to win a copy of "Black Christmas" on DVD. Snow in April? Sure, why not, as long as it's mixed with blood and horror. HORROR.
Now that we've got that stuff out of the way, I'd say it's high time we have another showdown here in the blog. Last time we had a breakfast showdown between Waffles and Pancakes and it sparked quite a debate. This time I'd like to pose the question about who would win in a fight: "Ge-Nan" from Samurai Showdown or "Blanka" from Street Fighter?
Cast your votes and be sure to back up why you think your choice would win with supporting evidence!
Nine Inch Smiles
So the new Nine Inch Nails album came out the other day and I just picked it up. After having followed the absolutely brilliant guerilla marketing campaign / storyline behind it for weeks, I wasn't about to pass up this one. And yes, I am one of the few people who does still buy CDs apparently. I like owning the actual albums, which are often works of art in their own right. Not everything has to be digital... it's OK to own tangible things, people. I promise, owning some albums won't fuck up your feng shui.
Anyway, one of the perks about the new NIN album is that the CD changes colors and reveals things when you apply heat to it. Even touching it with the palm of your hand will do the trick. That's right, the new NIN album is HYPERCOLOR!
I'm sure you guys remember these t-shirt; who wouldn't? You could smack your friend on the back and it would leave your hand impression right on it. Fun for all, right? Well, the only problem with these shirts is they reacted to all kinds of heat... namely perspiration. If you happened to be sweating like a bastard in the summer heat, these shirts would create a vile trail of your uncleanly bodily excretions for the whole world to see. Tasty! So that's why you really don't see those shirts much anymore these days. But NIN is trying to bring the hypercolor technology back in style with their new CD:
I just couldn't help myself. There's something inherently hysterical about being able to draw a smiley face on a NIN album with my own body heat. What can I say... I work from home. These are the things I entertain myself with on a daily basis.
In unrelated news, we've got a new contest up and running in the forums for Black Christmas. All you gotta do is photoshop/design your own horrific Christmas tree and you'll be in the running to win a copy of the movie on DVD. Christmas in April? You're goddamned right. Check it out and make sure you turn in your entries before the May 15th deadline.
Also, I was at the grocery store the other day and saw that they still had a bunch of Easter shit they were trying to get rid of. Amidst the expired cookies and lame plush toys, I found something that took every ounce of restraint for me to not buy.
This Easter basket was 75% off and it came with Dinosaurs for chrissakes... DINOSAURS! It also came with some generic G.I. Joe figures and a helicopter, presumably used to help the soldiers hunt down the dinosaurs. In all honesty though, the last thing I need in the house right now is more clutter. Well that and I don't particularly have the desire to go out in public and skip to my car with an Easter basket in hand... even if it does contain dinosaurs.
Survey: What's your favorite kind of dinosaur and why? (And yes, Wacko-Saurs count because that's how all dinosaurs really looked in prehistoric times. You can't argue with science.)
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