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Yo ho ho and a bottle of 2007!

by -RoG- on 01/03/2007, 4:53 am

I'm back. Didja miss me? Sorry for the blog absence over the past week 'n a half, but I promised myself a nice long vacation away from the computer after working on the site nonstop for the last four months. And what a vacation it was. The drive up the PCH to San Francisco was easily one of the most amazingly scenic drives I've ever done - and that says a lot when it's coming from a guy who just drove across the entire friggin' country last year. Between the vast ocean views, the rock slides and the constant reminder that if I took any turn too fast our car would plummet into a watery abyss - I can't recommend doing that drive enough. It was like being in a video game the entire time. Only, if you lose, they don't instantly replace your car with another one. If you lose on this road, they find your car in the water somewhere with your corpse half-eaten by sharks. SHARKS.

San Francisco was really interesting and it's a city I definitely need to visit some more before I can form an official opinion on the place. I will say this though... you'll never find a more insanely hilly city than San Fran. Imagine an entire city laid out over the humps of a giant camel and that's San Francisco in a nutshell. Our hotel was one of the best and most interesting ones I've ever stayed at, but I'll share more details and pics from that place later on. Didn't do too much touristy stuff while we were there, but we did get to take a tour of Alcatraz which was extremely badass, especially since the guy speaking sounded a lot like R. Lee Ermey. Union Square had plenty of shopping to do, but the homeless seem to accost you every 5 feet in that area. Seriously, if you were to give money to every person that asked you for change as you walked 2 blocks in union square, you yourself would become homeless by the end of your journey.

Haight ("hate") Street, on the other hand, was really cool. Much like a South Street in Philly, or a St. Mark's Place in New York, or a Melrose in L.A., Haight Street had all sorts of nifty independent shops and food joints - including some of the best pizza I've had since I've been on the West Coast. They also had another Amoeba Music store there and I can spend HOURS in that place alone due to their immense CD and DVD selections. While I was there I finally scored a copy of the original Maximum Overdrive DVD release. Why is the old one better you ask?

Old vs. New

I rest my case. Screw any company that dares to change classic movie poster art when re-releasing a DVD. I see it happening more and more often these days and it's atrocious. I'll take classic hand-drawn poster art over any badly Photoshopped, toned-down modern "art" any day.

Anyway, after San Fran, we headed farther North to check out the giant Redwoods. If you want to get away from everyone and everything you know, there are a few places you can go - the ocean, the desert, and the Redwoods. Seriously, it was a much longer drive up to them than I had expected, but still scenic, so it wasn't a bother. The Redwoods were very impressive and yes... we did drive the car ththrough the tree. I'll have pictures of that to share in the next week or so along with others I'm sure. It's truly amazing how much more interesting driving up the West coast is compared to the East. While the East Coast could put me to sleep within minutes, I find myself wide-eyed with wonder wherever I drive out here. Completely different worlds. We were also gonna check out the Sequoias and Yosemite, but they were snowed out so we'll have to try that some other time because we don't have snow tires for the ol' Honda Civic.

All in all, a hell of a good vacation. I'll be posting pics from it at some point I'm sure, but right now I'm busy getting caught up on a million things, writing some new articles, and getting a bunch of new features ready to launch on the site in the coming months. Stay tuned for more details on all that stuff.

Some people have asked how I made out with gifts 'n stuff over the holidays and my birthday. I can't complain about that stuff because I consider myself lucky to get any presents. I got some really nice gifts from site visitors including "Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2" for the Nintendo DS (KONG!), "Rampage Total Destruction" for the Wii (a system I'm still waiting to buy, mind you, but it's gonna be a blast playing it 4-player style whenever I make four friends), a spook-tacular Boo Berry Bobble-Car (from an anonymous person, oooooh!), a copy of "The Ice Cream Man" on DVD (absolute cheesy horror wrapped in a waffle cone), and a bootlegged copy of Jaws rip-off movie called "The Last Shark / Great White" (can't wait to watch the giant rubber shark in action). Finally got the "When We Were Very Maakies" book too (hooray Drinky Crow!) and I'm already prepared to buy more of 'em. Mega-thanks to all of you sent stuff, can't tell ya how much I appreciate the generosity! And to those of you who didn't send anything, you're a bunch of cheap bastards for taking all this free entertainment and giving nothing in return. I'll see you in hell. I kid, I kid!

For my birthday, Re got me a limited edition Fossil watch that I had wanted for ages. It loops an animation the classic Asteroids game in the background... check it out:

My wrist has never been so happy. She also got me one of those cool new McFarlane 3-D movie posters for Friday the 13th. They make a bunch of 'em and more are on the way including Elm Street, Robocop and Silence of the Lambs, but from the ones released so far, I gotta go with Friday the 13th as being the best simply because there's a lot going on in the poster. The Jaws and Aliens ones still look nice though and I'm sure I'll eventually get 'em all.

The biggest birthday surprise, however, was that my entire family joined forces to get me a gift certificate to Guitar Center so I can get a new guitar. I've been playing on the same cheap guitar that I started learning on 15 years ago, and while I love it, it would definitely be cool to practice on something a little better in terms of quality. It's one of those things I've always talked about doing, but never actually did it and would've still probably put it off for another 15 years if they hadn't gotten me the gift. So now I'll be going to Guitar Center (and other music stores) to try out countless guitars until I find "the one". I'll be sure to post a pic of "the one" whenever I get it, but being a nitpicky bastard, I'm sure it'll take a while before I can settle on something. I just hope my old guitar doesn't hold a grudge against me for cheating on it. You know I love you baby, I just need a little variety!

All in all, a helluva nice haul if I do say so myself. Now it's your turn to spill the beans on whatcha got! Hope you all had a great holiday and New Year's!

Survey #1: Share in detail your holiday haul with the rest of us. Spare no details. If you got underwear from grandma, I wanna know what size and brand!

Survey #2: Give at least one example of a DVD release in which the original movie poster art was completely bastardized on it. There's loads o' bad ones out there, so let's see your top picks! (hmmm, I'm smelling a potential for an article here actually...)

42 Comments

Have yourself a Drago little Christmas…

by -RoG- on 12/24/2006, 2:32 am

HEY LOOK! SANTA'S COMING DOWN THE CHIMNEY.
OH NO! HE SLIPPED!
IF HE DIES... HE DIES.

Here it is, the biggest I-Mockery project of 2006. "Ivan Drago: Justice Enforcer" allows you to take your raw Soviet power to the streets and make 'em run red with the blood of all lawbreakers. This huge new flash game features 3 unlockable characters, a variety of super combo moves, a mini-game and much more. It will also save your progress, so each time you unlock a new character, it will stay unlocked even after you've closed your browser window! This game is dedicated to all of the "Rocky" films that we grew up on.

Please post your thoughts on the game here in the blog, we'd love to hear what you all think!

This is our big Christmas/holiday surprise to all of you. From myself, PoX, BoM and our tireless beta tester, Dr. Boogie, we hope this game leaves your holidays bruised, bloodied and beaten.

In all seriousness though, thanks to all of you who've supported the site so much over the years. Looking back on 2006, I honestly think it was I-Mockery's best year ever and this latest game is icing on the cake. Expect a lot more in 2007, including the launch of some new sections, features and a site redesign early in the year! Well anywho, I'm here in San Francisco now on break, but I've got WiFi access from our hotel room and will check in sporadically over the next week. And yes, the drive up the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) was absolutely incredible and everybody should do it at least once in their lives.

Me need sleep now. Have a spiffy holiday everybody!

43 Comments

Willy Wonka would be proud… plus, Moose Mugs!

by -RoG- on 12/21/2006, 1:55 am

Your eyes do not deceive you: edible candy cane shotglasses! I may not be a drinker, but even I can appreciate these things. It's like something straight out of Willy Wonka's factory, and what better way to treat your aching liver this holiday season than with liquor and just a hint of peppermint. In all honesty, these things are absurdly overpriced, selling for a whopping 9 bux at Urban Outfitters. Then again, everything they sell is overpriced, so that's no surprise. Still, the fact remains that these things are candy canes. Oddly shaped candy canes, sure, but candy canes nonetheless. The same candy canes that you can buy twelve of for 99 cents. Still, I have no doubt that they'll sell like hotcakes this season. And who doesn't want hotcakes? Or at the very least, Johnny Cakes.

In other holiday-themed drinkware news, CanadianMoose just sent me two of their Christmas Vacation Moose Mug reproductions. I gotta say, they might be pricier than the average mug you'd buy, but the quality of these things is incredibly nice. I now feel obligated to drink egg nog, juice and all other beverages from these mugs for the remainder of the month. Ah who am I kidding? I'll still be drinking out of these things next summer. There's just no "wrong" time to drink out of a hollowed out moose head.

Completed unrelated, I just finished watching season one of "Dexter" on Showtime and it is without a doubt one of the best new shows on television. As far as I'm concerned, this show has completely validated the extra cash I pay for cable TV these days. If you haven't seen it, it's a show about a blood splatter specialist who moonlights as a vigilante serial killer. They took actors from a bunch of my favorite HBO shows including "Six Feet Under" and "Oz" - Michael C. Hall playing the lead role of Dexter Morgan. It's extremely well written, filled with great sub plots, and Dexter's character is absolutely fascinating to watch as he tries to balance his bloodlust with pretending to be normal in everyday activities. In all seriousness, whether or not you have cable, you need to see this show. So if you don't have access to it now, be sure to pick it up whenever it comes out on DVD. What's killing me is that I now have to wait until late 2007 before a new season starts. Might have to pick up some of the books to tide me over...

Also, who's going to see Rocky Balboa? I'm hearing nothing but good things about it and I couldn't be more excited. These are the movies I grew up on and it's nice to hear Stallone is giving Rocky a send-off with class instead of what we saw in part V. Going to see it tomorrow so I'll letcha know my thoughts on it afterwards. Win Rocky, win.

p.s.: Thanks to those of you who've been getting me things from my Amazon Wish List already. You rock the mock. I might even do some articles/reviews about the things I get.

p.s. #2: Keep those San Francisco suggestions 'a coming, cuz we leave this weekend to go check the place out!

17 Comments

San Francisco and Redwoods here we come!

by -RoG- on 12/16/2006, 3:42 pm

Since we moved to the West coast so recently and aren't going back East for the holidays this year, Re and I decided to take a trip up North for the holidays. I've always heard about how nice San Francisco is - many saying that it's pretty much the best place to live in the country if you can afford the insanely high cost of living - so that's gonna be our first stop on our trip. Any suggestions for stuff we should check out while we're there? Yes, Alcatraz is on the list of course and I'll probably buy a box of Rice-A-Roni there for kicks too. But I'm open to all suggestions since we'll be exploring the city for a few days.

After San Fran, we'll be heading up north to check out the giant Redwood trees. I've always wanted to see those mammoths. No, I'm not some Lord of the Rings fanboy who's gonna try talking Entish to them, but any trees that you can drive your car through are damned impressive in my book and totally worth seeing in person. Like many of the things on our cross country trip, I imagine that no photographs can really do the Redwoods justice.

From there, we're basically just gonna wing it and stop wherever we feel like until it's time to go back home, so again, any suggestions are welcome.

We're also going to be taking the Pacific Coast Highway on our way up because that's supposed to be one of the most amazingly scenic drives one can do. "I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope." Me too, Red. Sure it'll take longer than if we chose to go some route that Google Maps or Mapquest suggested, but honestly, ever since we drove across the entire country, any other trip seems like a walk across the street to me. I hear the drive is a blast but it can also be a bit frightening for whoever is riding in the passenger seat since they have no control of the car and it kinda looks like you could drive off a cliff into the ocean at any point. Good times!

In other news, this coming week we have a BIG surprise coming to the site in the form of a new flash game. Can you guess what it is? Here, I'll give you a hint:

Any guesses? And no, I won't tell you if you guessed right or not. you'll just have to wait 'til later in the week. We've been busting our asses on this game since October though and have really high hopes for it. Can't wait to unveil it to ya! Think of it as your online Christmas present from I-Mockery.

Speaking of Christmas, what're you guys getting me? Did I mention that it's also my birthday on the day after Christmas too? Yeah, the 26th is a shitty birthday to have, believe me I know. Still, that does not excuse you. And I don't wanna see any of that "Oh, this gift is your Christmas AND your birthday present RoG!" crap. I've dealt with that enough in my life as it is, plus people tell me that this year is a big birthday. So whatcha gettin' me, huh, huh, huh??? What, you thought all the fun you have on this site was for free? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Nope. Empty thine pockets unto my Amazon Wish List.

34 Comments

Lightning Santas and Marshmallow Peeps Cutouts!

by -RoG- on 12/13/2006, 4:54 am

Get your asses to your local grocery store, because I've just found what I consider to be the coolest treat of the holiday season so far: Lightning Santas!

These gummy candy treats come with "magic tongs" which light up the candies when you hold onto 'em. I don't know how somebody comes up with an idea like this, but I'd sure love to hear them pitch it in a business meeting...

"Say boss, what if we make a candy shaped like Santa Claus heads for Christmas this year!"
"Yeah, so? What's new about that?"
"Wait, I'm not finished! Not only are the candies shaped like Santa, but it comes with magic tongs that light Santa's head up when you grab him!"
"BRILLIANT!"

As you can see, the product does not disappoint at all. Eat your heart out Rudolph, Santa no longer needs your nose because his entire head can guide his sleigh through the foggy night. At a mere 99 cents per pack, you can't beat the price. Plus, the cherry-flavored gummy treats taste damned good too, but the fact is you'll have the tongs long after you've eaten the candies, so you'll need to find other uses for them. I really need to go to a Japanese hibachi/teppanyaki restaurant and see their reaction when I hold up my beef with the magic tongs instead of a pair of chopsticks. I want to see my soy sauce soaked beef glow with red fury!

In other holiday treat news... Peeps are back with a brand new holiday snack to stuff your stockings (and your stomachs) with:

Peeps Cutouts are just like regular Peeps, only they're shaped and flavored like sugar cookies that we all love to scarf down during the holidays. In all honesty though, the marshmallow flavor overpowers the holiday cookie flavor by a mile. Still, as the package says, they make for a good stocking stuffer and it's always fun to bite the head off of one of the Peeps while the other one continues to hold its hand, not realizing his friend has been decapitated. Not really sure what that green design is supposed to be on some of the Peeps cutouts though, maybe a bell perhaps? Take a closer look and tell me what you think.

So anyway, are you guys gonna check out that "Black Christmas" horror movie that's coming out this month? I'm not sold on it yet, although I love any horror movies that are tied in with the Christmas season - "Jack Frost" and "Jack Frost 2" being the greatest ones ever (though the original "Silent Night, Deadly Night" is definitely on that list too and one of these days I'll get around to reviewing it). But this "Black Christmas" is a remake and while I haven't seen the original one from the 1974, I have doubts about any movies they try to redo these days. Plus, the original is supposed to be really good from what I've heard. Still, the new one is from the makers of the "Final Destination" movies, and while their plots are laughable, I admit that many of the death scenes from those flicks are guilty pleasures o' mine. So yeah, good or bad, I definitely plan on seeing that flick later this month.

And now it's time for another random survey! What's the one holiday movie you look forward to watching more than any other this month? (even if it's one you've seen before) Be sure to explain your reasons why!

p.s.: Check out my latest feature on the obligatory holiday episode from the Weird Al Show that most people never had a chance to see since it was only on the air for one season.

34 Comments

Cabury mini-eggs in December? What bizarro world is this?

by -RoG- on 12/06/2006, 7:27 pm

Jingle bells, Batman smells... Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost its wheels and the Joker got awaaaaay. I had to do a double-take when I saw these in the store, but it's true, Cadbury's Mini-Eggs are now officially a part of the holiday season. As you may or may not know, these are basically my all-time favorite chocolate candies, but until now, they were only available on Easter each year. Some of you might recall how I found a Cadbury egg with a nipple on it back in February, and it quickly became the infamous "Nipple Egg". But yeah, the eggs are back for the holidays and I couldn't be happier. Ok, they don't actually call them "eggs" on the package, but there's no doubt it's them. The same milk chocolate with the think sugar shell. The only difference is that these ones come in festive white, red and green colors. I must apologize to my stomach in advance, because I'll be gorging on these things all month long and while my taste buds will surely be happy, my stomach is going to hate me for so much sugary cruelty.

Another thing I picked up was this Nerds Fun Book. These things have been out for many years, sporting a variety of candies, but for one reason or another I realized I had never actually purchased one. Well considering that I felt like eating some Nerds and never did learn what was actually inside these "fun books", I decided it was high time I purchased one.

Hmmm... yeah... not very "fun" looking is it. I was at least hoping for some kind of mini-book containing a Nerds story, but instead I got "fun" word scrambles, connect the dots and mazes. Oh well, at least it comes with FOUR boxes of Nerds including the "Frosty" winter Nerds that only come out each winter, so all is not lost.

In non-candy news, I just got a copy of "Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest" on DVD. What can I say, it was a really fun movie to watch and I thought the special effects were some of the best I had seen in recent years. Plus the 2-disc special edition DVD case is super shiny. SHINY! :O How could I pass that up? The best thing is that if you hold it up at just the right angle, you can see your reflection appear behind the ship that's being attacked by the giant Kraken. It makes you look like an evil sea god, commanding his Kraken to destroy the pirate ship.

See what I mean? Jesus, I think I'm having more fun with the box than the actual movie. I need help. Oh yeah, I also picked up the long-awaited Richard Donner cut of "Superman II". I haven't had time to watch it yet, but I can't wait to see extra battle footage of the greatest big screen bad guy of all time... General Zod!

On a final note, I went to a Christmas party for the place where Re works last night. They took us out to a nice restaurant near Venice Beach (Lilly's), and who is sitting a few feet away from us? Christian Slater! If I had a football with me, I would've chucked it at him and shouted "I love my dead gay son!" but alas, I had no pigskin on-hand so I kept my mouth shut. Besides, the guy was on a dinner date with Maria Bello and I didn't want to interrupt their dinner, even though I wanted to tell him how fucking great "True Romance" was. As if that wasn't enough, Camryn Manheim then walked into the restaurant to stop by and say hi to him. It was weird seeing celebrities just hanging out in the restaurant. And hey, now I get to say that I used the same restaurant bathroom that Christian Slater probably snorted some cocaine in. Hooray!

And yes, pics from my trip to Las Vegas are forthcoming. Hopefully I'll have them up online by early next week at the latest. In the meantime, go see the Ultimate Warrior rape Santa Claus!

18 Comments

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