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Christmas Aftermath 2013.
Hope everybody had a great Christmas holiday! So what did Santa leave under your Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree this year? Yeppers, you know the drill... post what gifts you received over the holidays this year so we can all be extremely jealous and decide who we need to burglarize in the future. I'll post my holiday haul soon, but I still have my birthday to survive today. I'm about to indulge in countless slices of New York pizza, so that's one awesome present already... to my taste buds.
Okay, on with the gifts! Post lists of whatcha got and feel free to include photos of your Christmas holiday hauls! Let's see just how spoiled you bastards really are!
Merry Christmas!
Hey look, it's Samta Claus! He's come to pay us a visit and spread his special blend of holiday cheer! I sure hope he brings all of you some wonderful presents in his sack for Christmas this year that aren't covered in too much blood.
Keeping with tradition, I'll be sure to post our annual "Christmas Aftermath" blog thread in the next day so you can all share your lists of what goodies you gave out and received. In the meantime, grab a cup of hot cocoa, enjoy the newest article I just posted about a special Christmas Haunt, and have yourselves an awesome little Christmas or whatever you happen to celebrate around this time o' year.
Thanks again so much for spending such a big chunk of it with me! I've been working on this crazy site for an eternity in Internet years, and it's always awesome knowing that so many of you make it a part of your annual holiday traditions. It really keeps me going. Well, that and the thousand some odd sugar cookies I've devoured this past month.
Merry Christmas!
More Ugly Pop Culture Christmas Sweaters!
Last year, I shared with you four ugly Christmas sweaters (well, sweatshirts to be more precise) based on pop culture icons from my childhood. They put a big smile on my face, because I love wearing ugly attire that still manages to keep me warm during the winter months. Well, my generous pals from 80sTees just sent me a brand new batch of their latest amazing ugly faux Christmas sweaters, so I clearly need to show you exactly what these designs look like. Let's start with the first one:
First up, we have Superman and Batman wishing you a Merry Christmas. I can't tell you how much I love this one, because they're both trying to look all tough and serious, but you simply can't look like a badass when you have a bunch of festive white and green snowflakes falling behind you. The best thing about this design isn't that Superman is wearing a Santa Claus hat, it's that Batman isn't. It's as if Superman spent hours convincing Batman to take a Christmas holiday photo with him, and when he pushed his luck by asking Batman to wear a Santa hat, Batman bluntly told him, "Fuck you." In fact, that's pretty much the only way I can imagine them improving this design... replace "Merry Christmas!" with "Fuck You."
Next, we have this nifty Pac-Man design, where elements from the maze in the arcade game have been altered to form a Christmas tree. Great idea! Now I get that they tried blending the ornaments in with the tree, but I would've loved to see them use some of the edibles from the game as ornaments instead. After all, strawberries and oranges make for some nice colorful decorations. Hell, they could even have Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man kissing under some mistletoe made from one of the cherries in the game. Or maybe they could've simply taken inspiration from the Christmas Comes To Pac-Land TV special and have Pac-Man helping out Santa. Then again, we're talking about ugly attire here, so I can see why they'd just overload it with far more ghosts than Pac-Man has ever had to chomp. So yeah, I'll still wear the hell outta this thing.
Hit the jump to see the other two sweaters! (more...)
Merry Friday The 13th!
Since we don't get to celebrate Friday the 13th in December very often, I had to take this opportunity to put my vintage Friday the 13th video store display out for the holidays. Forget the leg lamp... all I want to see is the hockey mask of Jason Voorhees glowing in my window come Christmas. I dunno about you, but I'd kill to see a Friday the 13th film (or Elm Street) set during Christmas, so all of the kills could be holiday-themed. Hollywood needs to get on this pronto, because the closest thing we have to a Christmas kill from Jason Voorhees is when he smashed that girl's icy cold face after freezing it in liquid nitrogen in Jason X.
Now we've certainly covered a hearty handful of holiday horrors here on I-Mockery over the years including the following:
Silent Night, Deadly Night
Jack Frost: The Mutant Killer Snowman
Jack Frost 2: The Return of the Mutant Killer Snowman
Black Christmas
Tales From The Crypt: And All Through The House
Santa's Slay
Iced
Of course, Christmas Vacation 2 and The Star Wars Holiday Special could be categorized as "horror" too, but for entirely different reasons.
So what about you? What are some of your favorite holiday-themed horror movies and what makes you love 'em so much? Any favorite scenes or quotes in particular? Drop a comment and lemme know!
Sugar Cookie Flavor Pebbles Cereal!
Since Christmas Crunch hasn't changed their box design once again this year, there's nothing new to report on the Cap'n. Fortunately, the Post company has delivered some new holiday cereal goods for all of us to give a try this season. Check it out:
Limited Edition Pebbles Sugar Cookie flavor cereal! The second I saw this at Target, I knew I had to try it. I'm a huuuge fan of Cocoa Pebbles, and Fruity Pebbles aren't too shabby either, so with it being the holiday season, this purchase was a no-brainer.
For starters, I'm totally sold on the box art here. You have Bamm-Bamm Rubble, Pebbles Flintstone, and Dino dressed in their best winter outfits being sucked into a swirling green Christmas snowflake vortex. That sort of action is usually reserved for blockbuster Hollywood films, and yet here we have it on the front of a goddamn cereal box. Dino in particular is looking great; he has a collar with jingle bells on it along with wooden reindeer antlers tied to his head. You know, every time I see Dino on a cereal box, it harkens me back to the glory days of Dino Pebbles - a cereal that had an insane marshmallow-to-cereal ratio.
Pebbles is also eating a big sugar cookie over the heaping bowl of cereal, as if to suggest that the crumbs from each bite she takes ends up falling into the bowl to flavor the cereal. Alright, perhaps it's not the most appetizing thing to picture, but come on... she's an adorable little cartoon character. I doubt you'll contract any diseases from eating her sugar cookie crumbles. Well, maybe diabetes.
Upon opening the box, you're hit with a strong sugary smell. I wouldn't say it makes me think of sugar cookies... it smells more like some combination of candy corn and marshmallows. It's hard to put my finger on it, but it's a familiar scent for sure, and a pretty good one at that. In fact, I wouldn't mind if they made air fresheners or scented seasonal candles outta this stuff.
The cereal itself is incredibly festive looking, with red, white, and green rice pebbles. Add some milk to that and you have your own personal edible winter wonderland in a cereal bowl. According to the ingredients, they used Red 40, Yellow 6, Blue 1, and Tumeric Oleoresin to achieve these colors. Only the magic of Christmas can bring a cereal company to bust out the ol' Tumeric. Seriously though, I really love how the cereal displays, and dare say it looks even better than Christmas Crunch.
While it looks good enough to feed to Santa, I'm not sure even his reindeer would want to partake in too much of the cereal. As nice as it smells, the cereal tastes a bit too artificial and chemical-ish. I know that shouldn't be surprising, considering it's a breakfast cereal made to taste like sugar cookies, but there are plenty of cookies and candies in the world that don't have a strong chemical flavoring. It's a good effort, and the cereal isn't bad per se, but after doing this taste test, it's just not something I'd want to eat for breakfast every morning. I'd rather just use it as a nice decoration. That said, they did include a snowflake treats recipe you can make by using the cereal if you do happen to be a fan of how it tastes.
Overall, Sugar Cookie Pebbles have a great presentation, and we can always use more combatants in the extremely limited holiday cereal arena, but the flavor leaves something to be desired. I'd rather have Cocoa Pebbles cereal, because I can eat 10 bowls of that stuff and still want more... especially since it turns the milk all chocolatey. In terms of holiday cereals, I'd have to recommend sticking with the classic Christmas Crunch as it still tastes the best of the bunch. The Cap'n will always treat you right... until he shreds the roof of your mouth. But it'll be worth it, because I'm sure he's doing it in the spirit of Christmas.
Oh, and remember when I said the sugar cookie cereal works better for Christmas decorations? I meant it:
I'm pretty sure my sugar cookie cereal Christmas tree art is worthy of a coveted spot on our refrigerator. Of course, the second I slam the fridge door shut, I know half of those cereal pebbles are gonna end up on the floor. Guess I'm just gonna have to frame it and put it up on the auction block instead. Who wants to start the bidding?
Christmas With The Kraangs!
I'm not gonna lie, I really love the title of this blog entry. Christmas With The Kraangs! Come on, who wouldn't want to see that movie? Well, speaking of Christmas, I hope you're all enjoying the holiday season so far this year. I kicked mine off with a viewing of Christmas Vacation 2, which probably wasn't the best way to get myself in a festive mood. Fortunately, one trip to Target put me right back where I needed to be... behold!
If you've ever shopped at Target during the holidays, you know they usually have an awesome little "stocking stuffer" section filled with affordable candies, toys, and other seasonal trinkets. Sure enough, they didn't disappoint for the 2013 season, for you can get this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Kraang's Turtle Target Practice" set for about four dollars. Considering I already bought a dozen packs of Peppermint Crunch Junior mints, I figured I should pick up something different from their stocking stuffer section. And boy, was it ever worth it:
I think it's safe to say that the highlight of this LEGO set is the Kraang figure. Now I grew up on the original TMNT series, so it's still weird thinking of Krang as the "Kraang" - a species of brain-like aliens rather than an individual character. Whether you prefer Krang or Kraang, there's certainly room for everybody's favorite slobbering brainy alien in our Christmas holiday celebrations. He's always been one of my absolute favorite ninja turtle characters, and if you've never heard the fantastic voice work that Pat Fraley did for him in the original cartoon, you're really missing out.
In this version of the LEGO figure, we have a Kraang comfortably residing in his robot or "Kraangdroid" suit. I like how it almost looks like he's in a robotic children's safety car seat, nestled in the belly of an android. It's kind of fitting, since I always thought his personality was a lot like a whiny infant, prone to throwing temper tantrums.
Also included in the set is Kraang's laser turret. Now on the package, it looks like the turret actually shoots projectiles, but that's unfortunately a bit of false advertising on LEGO's part, because this thing doesn't fire at all. I guess they expect kids to use their imagination, which is fine, but they shouldn't show it firing off on the package. That's just setting somebody up for a small disappointment. Nevertheless, it's a nice enough crab-like robot turret.
One of my favorite things in the set has got to be the turtle targets. Sure, they could've included all four of the real ninja turtle LEGO figures, but why do that when you can be cheap and have them represented in a purely minimalist form? Yep, they're actually represented with green bricks that have their individual head band colors in the center. If you've been searching for the smallest representations of Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael, look no further. No wonder Kraang needs a robotic laser turret... these things are too small for anything else to target. Cheap as they may be, I kinda love 'em.
All in all, it's a really nice little set for any TMNT fan, and you get a seriouly great Kraang figure out of it. You can even turn it around and look at the Kraangdroid's spine. Sounds like a magical Christmas moment in the making, doesn't it? Well there's still more Kraang to see.
I'm calling it here and now: Kraang is the official mascot of the 2013 Christmas holiday season. Believe it or not, there is now a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Capture The Kraang" fishing game. I've been trying to track this big one down, but I've yet to get my hands on it, so I'll have to do with making this graphic from a photo of the box. And who wouldn't want it? It's a four-player game where you get to be one of the turtles, armed not with their traditional weapons, but fishing rods. And you are actually fishing in a pool of hungry snapping Kraangs! How incredible is that? Who in their right mind wouldn't want to fish for Kraang!?
While it's honestly no different from one of the bajillion other classic fishing games, you're getting twenty-one Kraang fish here. Considering the set sells for less than $20, that's less than a buck per Kraang, and that's what I call a steal. What's funny is that you probably wouldn't even know it was a Kraang toy if it didn't come with the TMNT branding on the set, because they look like mutant pink fish instead of Kraang. Actually, their faces look more like C.H.U.D. monsters more than anything. That's fine though, because I've always dreamed of a movie where the turtles have to battle C.H.U.D. monsters to see who truly rules the sewers.
I should note that there's also a smaller stocking stuffer version of this same Kraang game that Target is currently selling in their Christmas holiday section. Definitely worth picking up if you can't find the larger one, because everybody deserves to have their stockings stuffed with an alien who constantly makes jokes about not having various body parts. "If I had hands I would cover my ears, if I had them!" Good one, Krang... good one.
Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. Merry Kraangmas, everybody!
P.S. Hit the jump to see a brief, yet poignant discussion between our tiny ninja turtle LEGO heroes: (more...)
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