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Michaels Never Disappoints With Their Spooky Town Halloween Displays!
While we wait for all of the other stores to get their asses in gear for Halloween season each year, there's always one retail chain we can count on for a full two months of Halloween goodness: Michaels. Yes indeedy, Target is still dragging out their "back to school" season with only but a few Halloween candy bags in sight, and the seasonal "Spirit" Halloween stores are popping up everywhere but all they say is "opening in September" with no official set date. But not Michaels. No, they embrace Halloween like it's a long lost love come home to stay, and they embrace it for a full two months just like we do on I-Mockery every year. Actually, this year I started seeing some of their Halloween decorations appearing all the way back in JUNE... how's that for getting an early start?
But getting started early wouldn't matter so much if they didn't have something great to show, right? Damn skippy. Trust me when I say Michaels always has something great to show... behold:
Target stores and the seasonal shops always have plenty o' fun Halloween things to buy, but it's only Michaels arts & crafts stores that put on a truly an animated show each year. In addition to having some of the most unique DIY Halloween crafts on the market and a nice selection of candies 'n decorations, they always put on spectacular in-store displays of the Spooky Town miniature model series by Lemax. The one near us this year has dedicated more than half an aisle to their amazing Halloween display and it's things like this which make we want to buy a house. Scratch that... a warehouse. A warehouse so I would never be limited by space and could continue to add on to my miniature Spooky Town Halloween collection forever.
I think Beetlejuice is also partially to blame, what with that great model of the entire town that Adam built in the movie. You can't tell me after seeing that town model of his that you didn't want to make one of your very own. Well the Spooky Town collection is very much like that, only better because every year they put out crazy new animated sets from haunted ships, to wax museums, to bloody chainsaw lumber yards, to monster bowling alleys, to bumper car pumpkin rides... truly fun stuff and many of them have built-in sound effects as well. Now here's something that's happened all too often: I'll go into a Michaels shop with Re during Halloween season with the specific intent of helping her find some art supplies or something along those lines. It's all going just fine until I stumble upon their incredible Spooky Town display... suddenly 20 minutes have gone by and I haven't even left the aisle, let alone accomplished what I came in the store to do. That's how ridiculously hypnotic their displays are.
Now just in case some of you don't have a Michaels store near you, I went ahead and took some video footage of this year's Spooky Town display from the store in my town so you too can be hypnotized by its glowing Halloween miniature goodness. Please excuse any glares in the video since they keep these displays behind glass:
Pretty impressive eh? So do any of you have any of these Spooky Town Halloween displays in your homes? If so, I wanna hear about 'em!
The Zombie Gun Range!
A few months back I got a call from some friends who decided at the last minute to go down to the Los Angeles Gun Club and shoot some targets. Having never shot a gun before, I figured why the hell not, and I'm glad I did. This particular gun range has wisely decided to help prepare people from the inevitable oncoming zombie apocalypse by providing them with real zombie targets! My target actually looked like a cross between Skeletor and a business man with an inexplicably shaggy hairdo. I used a 9mm (whatever the hell that is, I'm no gun expert) and sent my paper zombie target all the way to the back wall and managed to hit him almost every time. Problem is, I realized I was constantly hitting him in the chest. That's fine and dandy if you're trying to take down a human, but any horror fan worth his salt knows that you absolutely must shoot a zombie in the head if you want to kill it. You gotta destroy the ol' brainstem! So I adjusted my targeting and finally got in a few perfect head shots on ol' skele-zombie. Mission accomplished.
They did have a few other zombie targets to choose from:
As you can see, the other two hand-drawn zombies weren't in the best shape. Hell, I'd feel bad about shooting that one zombie with the dislodged jaw and missing hand. Probably because it's wearing a hoodie. Hoodies make everything look cuter... even zombies. Those zombies sure are tricky. They also had a few photos of people in zombie make-up, but I just couldn't pass up the opportunity of shooting ol' zombie Skeletor, no matter how tempted I was to shoot those zombie man-boobs hanging over the dumpster in that pic.
If that gun range really wants to help prepare people from the zombie apocalypse, they should start providing people with some famous zombie targets (like the ol' Tar Man zombie from "Return of the Living Dead") along with some heavier artillery. Give people a flamethrower, gatling gun, or a bazooka to take down those undead psycho paper zombie hordes! I guarantee it'd be good for business. The only drawback, of course, is that some of their clients would surely get killed in an accident. I say this because we were stunned at how many bullet holes there were in the FLOOR where we were standing. You can even see some of them in the first photo above and there were far more bullet holes in the floor than that. Clearly quite a few idiots have walked into that gun range before, goofing off with a firearm in their hands and accidentally shot some rounds off directly into the floor. The thought of that, to me, is a hell of a lot scarier than any paper zombies.
In the end, it was a really fun night, we killed plenty o' paper bad guys and I took home my dead paper zombie as a souvenir. Plus, they let us pose with some bigger guns for one hell of a group photo:
And yes, I do look like a Tusken Raider in that photo. Thanks for noticing.
The Ball Is Back… On DVD!
Boy oh Booooooooyyy! This is something I'm really glad to see - Phantasm 2 is FINALLY coming out on DVD here in the US on September 15th. For years, it was tied up in legal limbo for a US release, so fans weren't able to watch that particular movie unless it happened to air on TV or they played an old VHS tape of it. I've always been torn between which of the first two Phantasm films I like best, but I always seem to lean towards the second one for its sheer entertainment value. The first Phantasm was a groundbreaking horror movie in every way possible. Angus Scrimm immediately became one of the most memorable and downright creepy horror icons of the past 30 years as the Tall Man, and the movie itself is one of the few that I believe deserves an honored place in the coveted "actually scary" category of horror films.
Phantasm 2, on the other hand, while still creepy in parts, had the very different atmosphere of an action-horror-comedy instead of the bizarre and surreal nature of the original. It's probably the most entertaining film of the series and definitely the more accessible one for the general public. I don't think anybody can deny the awesomeness of Reggie Bannister, the world's greatest ice cream man, and his quad-barrel shotgun in this film. So yeah, chalk me up as one of the people who couldn't be happier to see Phantasm 2 finally getting its long overdue DVD release.
All that said, I gotta say that the release is just slightly bittersweet. Once again, they've swapped out the original classic poster artwork for the insert with some Photoshopped imagery. As you probably recall from my post a few years back, in which I purchased a copy of Maximum Overdrive and mentioned how I hate when companies don't use the original (and almost always superior) poster art from films, this is something that will forever annoy me.
The only other problem I'm having with purchasing it is that Anchor Bay released a badass Phantasm Sentinel Sphere box set in the UK several years ago which I posted about at the time. I'm wondering if we'll ever see that incredibly cool set come to the US now that Phantasm 2 (the only one that was still unreleased) is finally out on DVD. I know the only huge difference is novelty packaging, but I am ALL about novelty packaging, especially when the DVDs come inside a shiny sentinel sphere. So if there was a chance the sphere set was going to be released here any time soon, I'd probably hold out for it. However, since I haven't heard any mention of such a thing happening, and it will probably take them an eternity to get the legal crap for that set sorted out even if they do decide to release the full set (Universal owns part 2, Anchor Bay owns the rest), I think I'll go ahead and get the single DVD. I just want to be able to watch one of my favorite classic horror sequels again. Actually, wait a minute... I could just buy the UK sphere set and stick the region 1 US Phantasm DVDs inside it and my problem will be solved. BRILLIANT!
So what about you guys? Which Phantasm movie is your favorite and why? What are some of your favorite moments from the series? I already shared one of mine a few years ago (and I just updated it so it's in the new site template as well).
Sharpen The Knives! I-Mockery’s 2009 Halloween Season Has Begun!
Egad! It's raining pumpkins and kids in costumes! This can mean only one thing: Halloween season has officially begun! As most of you know (or should know), September 1st marks the beginning of I-Mockery's annual "Two Months of Halloween" celebration. Everything you see on this site between now and October 31st will be nothing but Halloween-oriented madness, so you might as well stop trying to fight it and get into the spirit of the season. As I've stated before, this is easily my favorite time of the year and there's no reason why it shouldn't be celebrated for more than a month. One month just isn't enough for something as cool as Halloween, so we're celebrating it for two and there's nothing anybody can do about it. Halloween seems to have encroached into summer's territory more than ever this year too, so that's nice to see. I'm not saying I saw the Creature from the Black Lagoon surfing at the beach in full effect or anything, but I did see some Halloween decorations out on display in some local shops in early June. You see? Some places get it.
And the horror movies have also started creeping into various TV stations too, which is always a welcome sign. Hell, a horror movie just came on TV as I'm writing this blog entry. It's called "Nights In Rodanthe" and lemme tell ya... it looks fucking TERRIFYING. I'm not sure if I have the intestinal fortitude to watch that one all by myself. I've already stopped by one of the open-year-round Halloween shops to check out some of the latest seasonal goods, but I'm also looking forward to seeing some of the seasonal ones pop up here in town. When those suckers appear, you know Halloween season is in full effect. Well those and all the theme parks getting "Halloweenified" along with the independent
As always, we pride ourselves on doing Halloween better than anybody else on the web, so we've got all sorts o' spooktastic things planned for the 2009 Halloween season here on I-Mockery. That being said, if any of you have suggestions for Halloweeny things you'd like to see us cover, please let us know here in the blog thread. It doesn't matter if it's a Halloween event taking place in your area, a horror movie, a costume, some new candy, or some completely bizarro new Halloween novelty... we wanna hear about it even if it's not something we're able to do an article on this year.
To those of you who aren't well acquainted with our annual Halloween celebration here on I-Mockery, I recommend you check out some of our main Halloween attractions. And hell, even if you've been with us for years, it wouldn't hurt to look back over all that old stuff to help get in the spirit o' things.
-I-Mockery's Halloween Collection: Here you'll find quick 'n easy access to most of our Halloween material from the past. Extremely in-depth horror movie and candy reviews, product reviews, and of course the boppin' Halloween adventures of Count Pop himself.
-The Halloween Grab Bag: Much like our "Shorts" section, this is a place where you'll find our smaller Halloween articles, but often covering some of the weirdest stuff we've ever stumbled upon.
-The Greatest Horror Movie Moments: Another favorite is our ongoing quest to document some of the finest moments in horror movies. Sometimes they're moments you're well aware of, other times, it's stuff you probably never knew existed. Either way, if you're looking for some horror movies to check out this season, this is a good place to start.
-Trick-Or-Treat Adventure: Our largest Flash game to date... and it's all about Halloween. If you're a fan of classic adventure games such as Monkey Island and Space Quest, you'll feel right at home with this one as you go on an adventure to build a Halloween costume and then collect enough candies before you battle the ultimate evil! It even auto-saves your progress as you go play, so you don't have to beat the game all in one sitting.
-Haunted House Candy Hunt: In this Halloween flash game we pay tribute to the games of the Atari 2600 by creating an all new one in the same style. You must guide two buddies (who just so happen to be from a galaxy far, far away) through all the treacherous rooms of a spooky haunted house as they hold hands. Should you reach the end of the game, you'll have a showdown with the ultimate candy hoarder - The Grim Reaper himself! I've also heard from a reliable source (ie: myself) that there's a secret level select hidden somewhere in the game. But you don't need that anyway, right? Cheater!
-Doc Mock's Movie Mausoleum: Word on the street is that our resident horror and b-movie host, Doc Mock, will be returning with brand new LIVE episodes starting on Friday, September 18th! Until then, be sure to catch up on all the horrifying and bizarre flicks he's already aired along with his co-host, Miss Diagnosis, and mutant tech guru, Licky! As always, you can expect crazy new guests to join in with the Doc on every episode!
Of course, you can still expect our regular site updates to the Blabber Blog and Weeklies section (and we have plenty of archived Halloween blog entries for you peruse), along with a whole new slew of Halloweeny articles this season. We've also got some great Halloween contests in store for you to participate in as well. I-Mockery's big 2009 Halloween season has finally begun and I hope you guys will all be here to join in all the ghoulicious fun!
I-Mockery On Facebook. In Your FACE.
So I've had a bunch o' people from I-Mockery send me friend requests on Facebook as well as people asking me via email if I-Mockery was on there. Well, there has been an unofficial I-Mockery group on Facebook for a while, but I figured I should go ahead and create a real page for fans of the site since you clearly want me all up in your FACE. So to all of you who have accounts on there, check out the official new I-Mockery Facebook page located here:
www.facebook.com/pages/I-Mockery/127390080137
Be sure to click the "Become a fan" button to receive any news that's posted on there and drop a comment on the Wall to say hi.
Anywho, I gotta get back to getting the site ready for Halloween. September 1st is almost here!
I-Mockery’s Online Store Is Finally Up!
It's been a long time coming, but we've finally launched I-Mockery's Online Store! People are always asking me how they can help support the site, and usually all I tell them is to just tell their friends about it since we rely solely on word of mouth advertising. Well now there's a new way for you guys to help support the I-Mockery cause, and you'll get some spiffy merchandise for yourself in doing so!
I'm really excited about the launch of our store, or "The Mock Shop" as I refer to it, because we have some really cool stuff for you to pick up. Here's a list of what you'll currently find in there:
-I-Mockery T-Shirts! (including the all new "Forbidden Love" PickleMan shirt and the return of our "Awesome Shark" shirt!)
-Official I-Mockery Pickle Hats! (People have asked for these for YEARS, so I'm really happy to finally be able to offer them to you!)
-The Ultimate Pixel Poster! (We sold this at the 2009 San Diego Comic-Con and it was an instant hit with fans of pixel art and retro pop culture! You'll stare at this thing for hours!)
-Comic Books! (Now all of I-Mockery's original comic books are available online, including Protoclown's new "Henching" comic, PickleMan and more!)
-Button Packs! (A brand new set of 6 buttons, plus we throw in an extra PickleMan button with each order while supplies last!)
-Shiny Stickers! (Everybody's favorite I-Mockery sticker that doubles as a funhouse mirror is available once again!)
Also, since people have requested it in the past, we're happy to sign anything you order... just be sure to include a note with your purchase so we know. Last but not least, for all of you international customers outside of the U.S., we haven't forgotten about you. We've set up a special International Store Page that you can place your orders on with the adjusted shipping rates. So if you live outside the United States (yes, even you Canadians), please make sure you order from that particular page.
So there ya have it - a boatload o' new I-Mockery merchandise for you guys to spend your life savings on. Every purchase helps us keep I-Mockery running, and it will also lead to us putting up new products for sale on the site in the future, so thanks in advance to all of you who buy our stuff!
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