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Movie Moments Make Me Mad: Episode 3
So I watched Gremlins last night, what with it being the Christmas holiday season 'n all, and it may surprise you to learn that the movie made me a little angry. Here's why:
[click here for high quality video]
Please check it out and drop a comment on Youtube and feel free to make suggestions for moments that might make me mad in future episodes on my new Youtube channel.
The Gloriously Ugly Christmas Sweaters Of Pop Culture!
I love ugly Christmas sweaters. If you've seen some of the old Doc Mock's Movie Mausoleum holiday episodes, you've probably seen a few of my more ridiculous ones already. It's become a tradition of sorts for me to buy a new cheap one every year at flea markets and such, because there's something about wearing a sweater so bright and tacky that it instantly puts your brain in full-on holiday mode. This month, I was surprised to find some amazing new ones based on pop culture icons in my mailbox:
Turns out my chums over at 80sTees have gotten themselves into the ugly Christmas sweater business, but they've put their own spin on the concept by making them less ugly and more awesome with the addition of fictional characters from my childhood. In this first one, they pay homage to the incredible He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special, which you know I'm a huge fan of if you've read my in-depth review of it. Having a Christmas holiday sweater with these two Eternian heroes amidst a snowflake backdrop is something I never would have dreamed would be possible. Of course, I never thought I'd see a DVD release for the special too, yet it happened. Gotta love how He-Man is even wearing a Santa hat. Here's hoping they do one for Skeletor next year too.
Next up is this Star Wars sweater featuring Darth Vader and his very special Christmas tree. You see, when Darth celebrates the holiday season, he does so in style by decorating his tree with Tie Fighters, X-Wing Fighters, and glowing lightsaber ornaments. My favorite part of the design, however, is the fact that Darth is using the force to place a Death Star as his tree topper. Classic! And hey, at the very least, this sweater is infinitely better than the Star Wars Holiday Special or the Star Wars Christmas Album.
Here we have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ready for a radical holiday season. I really like that they're placed in front of that classic diamond sweater pattern to give it a more authentic look. Also, it still weirds me out anytime I see Raphael looking happy. This is the same grumpy turtle who saw Critters and got in a fight with Casey Jones in the same night. I'd love to see a design with him standing off to the side, dressed like the Grinch, while the other three turtles smile and eat a Christmas themed pizza. Still, it's a sweater with all four turtles wearing Santa hats... you just can't go wrong with that.
Last up, it's a Transformers themed Christmas Sweater featuring Optimus Prime and Megatron as nutcrackers. Now, I'm sure there's plenty of disturbing fan fiction out there featuring Optimus and Megatron crunching on some nuts, but this is the first time to my knowledge that they've appeared on a Christmas sweater. Even better, they've been given special holiday names on the sweater: Nutcracker Prime and Crackertron. That's pretty great if you ask me, and at least they didn't turn Optimus into some kind of corporate shill like when he was once turned into Pepsi Prime. Fantastic.
I should also mention these aren't itchy like the old wool sweaters grandma used to make. They're warm faux sweaters made from a cotton polyester blend, so they're definitely comfortable to wear around the house while having your fill of eggnog as you watch yet another marathon of A Christmas Story. My favorite of the bunch is probably the He-Man and She-Ra one, probably for nostalgic reasons alone. How about you? Big thanks again to my pals at 80sTees for sending these my way!
The Tooth Fairy vs. Santa Claus.
I just kicked off the Christmas holiday season in less-than-merry fashion. So, when I was a kid, I got into a bicycle accident (face first with a truck) and my front teeth were shoved back up into the gums as a result. Yeah, it hurt. I had to have all kinds of dental surgeries back then, they told me that one of my front teeth was dead and would likely fall out later in life. Well, despite being dead, yellow, and subjected to more Halloween candies than you can imagine, that tooth hung on for decades against all odds. Sadly, I was recently informed by my dentist that it was time for the tooth to go, for it had dropped down some more and I was risking infection. So this is how my Christmas holiday season started off - with a tooth extraction.
I only wish they offered some kind of twinkling LED Christmas light novelty replacement tooth that I could wear all December instead of a normal one, because I'd be all over that in a heartbeat. But hey, if nothing else, I at least got a wonderful holiday greeting card out of it:
I'll miss you, ol' front toof. R.I.P. my yellow friend.
Anyway, as you can see, the Christmas holiday season has begun here on I-Mockery. I've got a really busy month ahead of me, but I'm gonna do my best to keep the site updated with all kinds of jolly goodies. And don't forget, we have a big Christmas Collection archive of articles and games here on the site to keep your bells jingling all month long, so be sure to check it out.
Yelling At Comikaze 2012! *UPDATED*
UPDATE: Part 2 of my Comikaze video is now online. Scroll down to watch it.
A few months ago, I went to Comikaze 2012 and got a bit overexcited once again and started yelling at everything in sight. I don't know why this keeps happening, but I guess it's good for you since a camera guy was following me around to document the entire experience. Here's part 1:
[click here for high quality video]
And here's part 2:
[click here for high quality video]
Hope you enjoyed both videos, cuz they're a lot of fun for me to shoot every time. As always, please drop a comment on the Youtube page and subscribe to my channel if you haven't already. More videos to come!
Yeah, That Exists - Episode 5: Boney Island - A Truly Amazing Halloween Yard Haunt!
Halloween may be over, and I hope you all had a great one and made the best of it, but I still have another spooky surprise for you today. It's episode 5 of my ongoing Yeah, That Exists series, and this time I pay a visit to one of my all-time favorite yard haunts that's been running for twelve years now: Boney Island! Please check it out and drop a comment on Youtube to let me know whatcha think:
[click here for high quality video]
Incredible isn't it? It's hard to imagine all of that exists in somebody's front yard. A huge thanks to Rick Polizzi for letting me interview him and for putting together one of the most incredible yard haunts I've ever seen. Hit the jump for some additional still photos I took of Boney Island during my visit this past week. (more...)
Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeen!
Elections? Pfft! Frankenstorms? Pshaw! We are all here to celebrate the most important holiday in history, and nothing is going to prevent us from doing so... not even having the holiday take place smack dab in the middle of the work week! This is the time when we toss aside those brains of ours that are constantly trying to grow up. This is the time when we pay complete strangers a visit and demand they give us all the sugary treats in their possession or face the wrath of having their property adorned with eggs and toilet paper! This is the time when we watch countless horror films, because they may not always scare us, but they feel like a familiar old friend returning home to keep us company. This is Halloween.
I already went out in costume with Re and some friends this past weekend to various Halloween yard haunts and gatherings, and we still plan on going trick-or-treating tonight. This year, I am Keytar Commander (yes, Cobra Commander with a keytar) and Re created her own interpretation of a red devil with a Venetian carnival mask. It wasn't planned, but I love how our red and blue outfits really seem to go together... it must be the keytar. Yeah, I'm gonna credit the keytar for being the glue that makes our costumes work. Once again, I have to send a big thank you to 80sTees for sending me the Cobra Commander costume. As you can see, it's the only official costume out there that features him with his hood instead of his traditional mirror mask helmet. If you grew up playing with G.I. Joe toys like I did, this version of the Commander was your most cherished one because he was only available for a limited time via a mail-away offer. Sadly, he was never available with a keytar.
As you probably know, I dedicate an entire two months to Halloween every year. It's a huge undertaking that swallows my life from September 1st - October 31st, but I have an incredible amount of fun doing it. This year, I feel like I wrote more "big" feature articles than I have in quite a while. Not sure what it is, but my energy and excitement for Halloween this season just has not waned at all over the past two months. We've covered a ton of ghoulish ground, and I hope you've all enjoyed every macabre minute of it. Here's a recap of some of the highlights this season:
-We discovered that the L.A. County Fair had not one, but three haunted attractions. And then we yelled at them.
-We were reminded that Hausu is an absolutely insane Japanese horror film.
-We learned never to take a cat on a yacht.
-We looked back at Supernaturals Ghostlings and realized they just might be the greatest holographic Halloween ghost toys ever made. Okay, they're also the only ones.
-We were one of the first to taste test the Candy Corn Oreo Cookies that became an internet phenomenon and the article appeared on a CNN broadcast about them.
-We unveiled the Jack-O-Juke - a Halloween music jukebox with over 180 spooky songs and counting.
-We learned some important life lessons from Beetlejuice.
-We found that Slash Dance was no replacement for a Horror Workout.
-We realized that the Ghoul Log is pretty much the worst thing ever made.
-We battered your brains with more Greatest Horror Movie Moments.
-We made the case for Halloween Doritos and expect the Frito-Lay company to deliver next year when we remind them about it again and again.
-We visited Knott's Scary Farm for their 40th annual Halloween Haunt.
-We laughed once again at what some people try to pass off as sexy Halloween costumes.
-We were hypnotized by the glitter blood in the Michael Myers Halloween Snow Globe from the special 20th anniversary VHS set.
-We saw a Blaxploitation ripoff of the Exorcist called Abby.
-We saw the construction of a Haunted Gingerbread Mansion.
-We remembered that Vintage Halloween Cards are far creepier than any modern horrors.
-We found that no sticker collection is complete without some Monstickers.
-We were even traumatized by Scary Moments in non-horror films too.
-We conducted another thorough Halloween Candy Taste Test.
-We battled our way through all the glorious 8-bit gore in Abadox: The Deadly Inner War.
-We viewed some amazing Foreign Horror Movie Posters.
-We were reminded by Chopping Mall that nobody should ever let robots handle their security.
-We learned that some of our readers are incredible Halloween Toothpaste Artists.
-And last but not least, Count Pop graced us with his presence once again and he even made a new Halloween Dance Video!
You know there is no time I enjoy more than Halloween each year, and having so many of you making I-Mockery your online Halloween home truly makes it all the better. I really try to give you guys the best and widest variety of Halloween coverage you'll find anywhere online every season - from visiting haunts and reviewing movies, to taste testing candies and tracking down the most absurd novelties and more, I always try to make every season special and filled with surprises. If you continue to stick with me, I'll do my best to keep that tradition going strong for years to come.
I'll have some post-Halloween photos and videos to put up on I-Mockery soon too, so don't go anywhere. Once more, I must thank Dr. Boogie and Protoclown for their awesome contributions to our Halloween celebration. Also, a huge thanks to Re for putting up with me as I turned our home into something that looked like a special Halloween episode of Hoarders.
Of course, a huge thanks again to you for sticking with us during our annual "Two Months of Halloween" celebration. It's a lot of work to put all this content together, but it's a lot of fun too, and your feedback definitely helps keep our bloody brains going. If you haven't already, please like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, and uh... tumble us on Tumblr. This is a completely independent web site, and we rely entirely on people like YOU to spread the word about it, so please do so if you can!
Please drop a comment (whether you're logged in or not) in the blog here and let us know what you thought of the Halloween season and what your favorite articles were. Also, let us know what your Halloween plans are and feel free to post photos of your costumes if you're dressing up or your decorations or any other Halloweeny things you like!
Thanks again everyone and Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!
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