I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[RaNkeri]

what

[Dixie]

Dora The Explorer's Broadway show has rotted what's left of my brain.
:(

[Kitsa]

I hate Dora and all that she explores.

I hate the way she barks, "SAY ________" (whatever the word of the day is)

I never watched shit like that when I was a kid. I think it's making kids dumber.

[RaNkeri]

There are a number of minor, recurring animal characters such as:

Señor Tucán (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toucan), this character only speaks Spanish.
Baby Jaguar (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaguar), who doesn't speak (in this series) but seems to be just as intelligent as the other characters.
Pirate Pig (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig), he has an eyepatch and a hat.
Squishy Squid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squid), he loves music and also playing bongoes. lol

[Dixie]

Dude, it's so much worse live.

On the bright side, I did learn a few words in spanish.
Nothing helpful though.

On the not so bright side, the girl that played the frog stomped on my hands while I was putting her feet on and bent my middle finger in a very unnatural position.
And I can't get those stupid songs out of my head.

I can't find my teddy bear, I can't find my teddy bear!
I've looked and I've looked all around everywhere!

That song is so much more entertaining when you replace "teddy bear" with "underwear".

[Dixie]

And Baby Jaguar was in the show, and he/she (it's supposed to be a he, but it was a girl in the costume) did talk!
Baby Jaguar is adorable!!!!

[RaNkeri]

It was revealed on February 18 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_18), 2008 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008), that Nickelodeon would make a made-for-television movie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Made-for-television_movie) based on the series, but as a live-action/CGI (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_animation) animated feature.[4] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dora_the_Explorer#cite_note-3) Dora, who would still be of Hispanic descent, would become a ten-year-old girl in this version with other characters computer animated. The movie is expected to be released in 2010.


:x

[Dixie]

http://images.broadwayworld.com/upload/41367/tn-500_-2.jpg
Here's the cast.
I dressed the iguana and the robot from this shot.

See?
Baby Jaguar is cute!

[Kitsa]

They made me take Spanish in high school because they said it was "unfair" for me to take French. So I took Spanish and Latin and Italian after school and it was all the same damn thing, same pattern, it's just Latin with different accents.

I tested out of Spanish in college and became "the one who can tell you what those people were saying because they assumed she didn't know". Or at least, that's what my mom believes I am. I understand it but I refuse to speak it myself because I think it's obnoxious when people do that in restaurants and stuff.

So I don't need Dora and her shit.

Fun fact- I was hired by my university to teach remedial French. Only one remedial French student ever actually showed up, and I ended up teaching the remedial Spanish people who came instead. Fantastic.

However, my high school spanish classes were an adventure and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Edit: Dora looks like a real go-getter there!

[Dixie]

I never learned spanish, I stuck with german.
French was unfair because you knew French? Was that it?

Yeah Dora's butt was too big for her shorts, it was fun watching her climb up and down the ladder at the beginning of the show.

[Dixie]

Oh, and Boots the monkey is the ONLY straight guy in the cast.
We bonded over PBR.

[Kitsa]

Poor Boots.

Yeah, because I have a French name and a French family (although you'd never know it to look at/hear them), I couldn't take French. It was a stupid rule, I knew lots of Hispanic kids who couldn't speak Spanish, who was to say I was any different?

[Dixie]

Hahah I think you could sue for that now.
That is pretty ridiculous.
I guess I should be glad my name had been changed twice before high school, or else I may have been banned from german as well!
I had no clue that schools do that kind of thing!

Boots was a good sport, there were some games that all the men (cast and crew, homo and hetero) played backstage. All of which would be considered sexual harrassment anywhere else but the theatre. One was "Bean Dip", a guy would tell another guy that they wanted to talk and when they got close enough they'd slap each other's nipples. Someone made mention that it was sexual harrassment, and they said they didn't report sexual harrassment, they graded it.
C- for a butt slap without a cupped hand and a tushy squeeze.
Boots was a VERY good sport mainly because whenever guys wore a tail in the show (it was attached in a very uncomfortable elastic jockstrap contraption that was said to cut off circulation to a man's favorite and most sensitive body parts), someone would walk behind them and pull the tail, thus dislodging and squeezing said sensitive squishies.

[Tadao]

I'm the map! I'm the map!
I'm the map!
I'm the map!
I'm the map!

[Dixie]

I dressed the map too!

[Tadao]

Was it only one show?

[Dixie]

Nope, 3 days, 4 shows a day.

[Tadao]

How is Nickelodeon? On a scale compared to Disney.

[Kitsa]

Theatre people are wonderful, except for the couple of guys who always try to sleep their way through a cast.

[RaNkeri]

lawl @ orange cat w/ blue face

What the fuck is wrong with him

[MetalMilitia]

...except for the couple of guys who always try to sleep their way through a cast.

Furries :x

[Dixie]

The Nickelodeon people are MUCH better than Disney.
And they tip.

[Dixie]

lawl @ orange cat w/ blue face

What the fuck is wrong with him
That's a fox, Swiper the Fox to be exact.
He's the bad guy.

[Tadao]

Swiper, no Swiping
Swiper, no Swiping
Swiper, no Swiping

[Kitsa]

lol

[Dixie]

The faces of the kids in the front row when Swiper came out were one of the best things about the show.
One girl was screaming and crying everytime he came onstage.

[Tadao]

I watched a lot of Dora with my niece. That and blues clues.

[pac-man]

I used to watch Hey Gabba Gabba, but that wore thin quick.

[Otto]

We didn't get cable when I was a kid, so insead of watching children's television, I grew up on b-movies and my neighbor's video tapes of Mystery Science Theater. No child should have to watch Manos.

[Kitsa]

My dog likes watching PBS kids. If I change the channel she goes apeshit.

She likes Clifford, Curious George, Martha Speaks and sometimes Sesame Street. Sid the Science Kid freaks her out.

[Dixie]

I just found out my uncle has kidney and possibly lung cancer.
:(
He didn't even smoke and lived a very healthy life.
He's having his kidney removed Thursday and they're going to start chemo as soon as he heals from the surgery.

[Kitsa]

I'm sorry. I hate cancer so much.

Hope he does okay.

[Dixie]

I hate it too.
Only one person in my family has actually died from it (my biological father, but pneumonia was what truly did him in), but nearly all my family has had it.
Until Uncle Bernie, I was the last person to deal with it.

He had been complaining that his hip hurt and eventually couldn't even sit down. He had to lay down in the backseat of the car. When the doctors looked at it they found that his kidney was grossly enlarged. This was just last week, I'm glad they're at least acting quickly.

Thank you Kitsa.

[RaNkeri]

That's awful, I hope he'll be fine :(

[Dixie]

Thanks Rankeri.
I was really hoping for a pretty uneventful week.

[Kitsa]

My whole family's had it too. Sucks.

[Dixie]

Stupid cancer.
Of all the things I want to kill, that one's totally stayed at the top of my list.

[Kitsa]

Voodoo doll made out of real cancer (http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20126946.400-living-doll-made-of-human-cancer-cells.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news)

[Dixie]

And here I thought I had a sick collection.

[Tadao]

http://www.mpsomaha.org/ALDRICH/CommServ/pink_ribbon_gs.jpg

[Tadao]

Top Ten Ways To Know You Are A Cancer Survivor
10 Your alarm clock goes off at 6 a.m. and you're glad to hear it.
9. Your mother-in-law invites you to lunch and you just say NO.
8. You're back in the family rotation to take out the garbage.
7. When you no longer have an urge to choke the person who says, "all you need to beat cancer is the right attitude."
6. When your dental floss runs out and you buy 1000 yards.
5. When you use your toothbrush to brush your teeth and not comb your hair.
4. You have a chance to buy additional life insurance but you buy a new convertible car instead.
3. Your doctor tells you to lose weight and do something about your cholesterol and you actually listen.
2. When your biggest annual celebration is again your birthday, and not the day you were diagnosed.
1. When you use your Visa card more than your hospital parking pass.

[Tadao]

http://images8.cafepress.com/product/175250198v3_350x350_Front.jpg

[Tadao]

http://buttersafe.com/comics/2007-12-06-TinyElephant.jpg

[kahljorn]

:rolleyes One trick proboscidea

[Tadao]

:lol

[kahljorn]

;o;o ;)

[ElPila666]

Sup guise, i have 1 year old now :), so i'm no longer a newbie anymore rite?

[ElPila666]

WHOA! page 2222

[MarioRPG]

I do remember the elephant genius, heh.

Woah, a kid? That's crazzzzy.

[Kitsa]

hahaha allow my Superior Gringa Translation Ability to assist

often "having" a year means the same as "being" a year for english speakers. I think he's saying this is his one year anniversary?

[ElPila666]

hahaha allow my Superior Gringa Translation Ability to assist

often "having" a year means the same as "being" a year for english speakers. I think he's saying this is his one year anniversary?

Thanks for the corrections, my english is a little bit rusty :(

[Tadao]

DeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeDeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Kitsa]

Your english is fine, it was a misunderstanding.

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2009/its-all-done-with-wires.jpg

[pac-man]

There's Pub Lover!

[Kitsa]

Damn, I thought you'd been toe tagged with acute alcohol poisoning somewhere over there, Pub.

[kahljorn]

im hunngggrrrryyyyy

[Kitsa]

I just made dinner. I roasted chicken tenderloins until they were soft, then sauteed them in butter, white wine, mushrooms and garlic. We had long-grain brown rice and baby lima beans and fought over what kind of outdoor enclosure to make for the dog.

[kahljorn]

Sounds good kind of :O I've been wanting battered and fried chicken breasts with gravy and mashed potatoes (also with gravy).

dericious :(

im prolly gonna have broccoli and rice though

[Sam]

I GOT SOME GRAVY FOR YOU.

[pac-man]

AND I'VE GOT BATTERED BREASTS.

[Sam]

I GOT SOME BATTER FOR YOU.

[pac-man]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ySHLzxGcbj0/R0Svph0Y05I/AAAAAAAAAFI/JaLE_gZ0_sM/s320/gravy-tm.jpg

[MetalMilitia]

I heard today that New Zealand have this law where if you're suspected of breaking copyright law three times (i.e. downloading shit) you can be removed from the internet. It's a similar deal to something they tried to introduce in the UK a while back.

Maybe that's what happened to pub-lover and right now he's breaking the law to tell us he's not dead.

[Tadao]

I imagine is too busy watering Koala Bears and being a hero.

[Esuohlim]

Removed from the internet, huh? He'd probably be thrilled.

[Fathom Zero]

EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING

[Shyandquietguy]

Bobby McFerrin is going to be performing here.

Unemployed, need money.

Whatever.

[Aaarg]

female co-worker, regarding a hole in her jeans, "my hole got bigger."
my response, "what, did you have a baby or something?"
"no, nasty, i mean the one in my pants."
"so do i."

i don't like getting off work as the sun is coming up.

[MetalMilitia]

That's sexual harassment. I hope you like JAIL.

[MetalMilitia]

Damnit my bank has now charged me about 130 clams just for writing a bad cheque. Fuck you Natwest.

They were going to add another £56 on top of that but I phoned them up and told them to stop being dicks.

[Dixie]

I think I'm going to join the Kidney Walk next month

[Kitsa]

I'm trying to decide what shitty food option to choose for lunch before I have to go back out to another appointment.

What I'd really like to do is eat a whole box of Petit Ecolier cookies (the ones that are a slab of chocolate with token cookie underneath), but that's probably not a great idea.

[Dixie]

Cookies sound good.
It's tuna for me today.

[wobzire]

Oh crap. I just realized I forgot a lunch all together.

[Tadao]

http://oregonstate.edu/dept/humanities/newsletter/2000-spring/images/lambeth-walk.jpg


I think I'm going to join the Kidney Walk next month

I do two different walks. It's rather pleasant and sometimes fun even.

[Dixie]

I've never done one before, but my friend (who's mother has been going through the same thing my uncle is) invited me to join her and her sister for the walk. I figure it could be a nice thing to do.

[kahljorn]

EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHINGYOU CAN JUST KISS OFF INTO THE AIR.

lol i was obsessed with daddy-o and american music for a while :(

You were born too late and I was born too soon, and everytime i look at that ugly mooooooon, it reminds me of YOU. It reminds me of you.

[Misdemonar]

AMERICA IS THE BEST
USA USA USA USA

[Kitsa]

I had very good luck today. My clothes all look like shit because I've had them forever. So I went to a store and long story short the bargain racks are a little emptier and I walked away with a bunch of stuff for under $15 total.

Good thing I don't give a fuck about "last season".

[Babs]

I can't wait until tomorrow, in good ol' columbus it's going to be 50 DEGREES OUT!!! Shit the bed, I was getting tired of this weather it's so last season.

[Esuohlim]

KRAMER QUOTE OF THE DAY

http://nonicoclolasos.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/kramer.jpg

"I'm Kramer"

CHECK OUT MORE KRAMER QUOTES AT CHICKENLAND'S KRAMER QUOTES ANGELFIRE PAGE (http://www.angelfire.com/wv/chickenland/kramer.html)

[Sam]

That site generated more "LOLs" for me then www.esuohlim.com ever did. :rolleyes

[Dixie]

hold on

[pac-man]

http://nonicoclolasos.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/kramer.jpg

"You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherfuckker. Throw his ass out. He's a ******! He's a ******! He's a ******! A ******, look, there's a ******!"

http://www.mikepaulblog.com/blog/media/Richards%20on%20Letterman%20w%20Seinfeld_02.jpg

"It's not funny."

[Sam]

MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW SO, TODAY (AKA RIGHT FUCKING NOW MOTHERFUCKER), TOMORROW AND THE DAY AFTER I WILL BE DRUNK. :wink

[pac-man]

http://nonicoclolasos.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/kramer.jpg

Happy Birthday, ******.

[Sam]

http://nonicoclolasos.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/kramer.jpg

THANK YOU PAC-MAN, YOU ARE MY FAVORITE ****** ON THESE BOARDS.

[pac-man]

You're just saying that because I take the abuse. Happy B-day, though. Guess everybody else pussed out early. I spent my birthday sober, so I'll drink to yours.

[Sam]

You love the abuse. :rolleyes

I'm drinking to my birthday as well. ;)

[pac-man]

http://www.emotionaljoystick.net/37h3rgallery/albums/album12/0PBF22048BC_Today_is_my_Birthday.sized.gif

[Sam]

THE PROBLEM WITH THAT, IS THAT I SEE MY BIRTHDAY EXACTLY LIKE THAT. :\

[RaNkeri]

BEFORE YOU GET TOO DRUNK I'D LIKE TO WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAM


TO ME YOU'RE LIKE THAT RETARDED LITTLE BROTHER I'VE NEVER HAD :rolleyes

[pac-man]

All the more reason to drink it up!

[Sam]

DEAR FINLAND; TO ME, YOU ARE THAT RETARDED LITTLE BROTHER THAT I DO UNFORTUNATELY HAVE. :rolleyes

[pac-man]

:tear I wish I had a retarded little brother.

[Sam]

Don't worry pac-man, Finland is plenty retarded for everyone to share. :rolleyes

[Tadao]

I'm, gonna jerk off extra hard for your BDAY!

[Esuohlim]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes

[pac-man]

I shudder to think what "extra hard" is for Tadao. :chatter

[pac-man]

No offense, but this birthday party is kinda lame. I'm gonna go.


K, bye.

[Esuohlim]

IT'S BECAUSE I SHOWED UP :lol

[executioneer]

HAPPY BDAY SAM, I HOPE YOU DONT GET KILLED TODAY (OR ANY OTHER DAY)

[MetalMilitia]

I went to some recruitment lecture thing today and got a free yo-yo.

Yo-yos are awesome.:picklehat

[Dixie]

happy birthday sammy boy!

[Aaarg]

That's sexual harassment. I hope you like JAIL.

She's temporarily working with a crew of ten men (mostly 22-25 years old) overnight in a grocery store.

And Christ, I'm the tamest one among them.

[MetalMilitia]

Dear sam,

I wish you many happy returns and good luck in all of your future endeavours.

Best regards,

England

[Kitsa]

Happy birthday eyeroll

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Happy Birthday Sam!!!!!

I'm drunk and somehow naked too.

Goddnight all.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Also, I'm still drunk. Where is Pub Lover????

[Dixie]

Pubbles dissappeared again, into the internet's deep abyss.

[Kitsa]

Let's pretend he has exotic diseases.

I'm trying to decide whether it should be beriberi or guinea worm. Then again, he's in Australasia, so we could always go with kuru.

[Dixie]

What about all 3?

[Dixie]

HE SHALL ARISE FROM THE DEEP AS A GREAT LEVIATHAN, DEVOURING ALL WHO ANNOY HIM!
HARK! AND BEWARE THE SILENCE!

[Kitsa]

that's real conversation for your ass.

[Dixie]

Maybe he's secretly one of those people with crab hands.

[MetalMilitia]

A crab people? :eek

[Zhukov]

It's probably Kuru. Does anyone know how many people he's eaten?

[Kitsa]

Well, that's why I thought kuru would be most likely.

I'm fairly sure he has some sort of spongiform encephalopathy. I mean, look at him.

[Zhukov]

Pictures or video? I think you would need video of him shaking before you could give anything more than an educated guess.

[pac-man]

Maybe he's secretly one of those people with crab hands.

http://editthis.info/images/superdickery/5/5c/CrabPeople.jpg

Pub Lover, Pub Lover,
Look like crab,
Talk like people.

[Kitsa]

Pictures or video? I think you would need video of him shaking before you could give anything more than an educated guess.


In honor of that comment, I'm going to take everything literally/seriously for the rest of the day.

[pac-man]

Kill a few hours with this. I know I will.

http://www.etchy.org/

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I just woke up at like 2:30 in the afternoon and remembered that I drank for 15 hours straight yesterday only with minor breaks for food intake. I don't plan on being able to function today but I am hungry.

[ElPila666]

This just in… A federal court in Argentina has decriminalized the personal consumption of drugs in that country. According to the court’s ruling, punishing drug users only “creates an avalanche of cases targeting consumers without climbing up in the ladder of [drug] trafficking.”
Last month at a UN meeting in Vienna, Argentina’s Minister of Justice, Aníbal Fernández, said that the policy of punishing drug consumers was a “total failure.”


OMG u guise we're a step closer to legalization of weed, i'm so0 excited :)

[Kitsa]

I just got back from a very, very long walk with my dog. I have blisters now :(

Some asshole in a semi hit his air brake shortly as he passed (no good reason for it). The dog hit the deck and went nuts. I hate people who go out of their way to see if they can distract a service dog who's on-duty. Fuckers.

[Dixie]

Sounds like a pretty nice fella.

[Kitsa]

From the "Whiplash Awards" at mlaw.org:

The Case of . . .
"Blind Justice"

Susan Faith and Reverend Ian Faith, Plaintiffs, v. Southeastern Guide Dogs, Inc., Defendant, in the Manatee Circuit Court


An impoverished blind man named Vernon Henley was thrilled when he received the gift of a seeing-eye dog. The two took their maiden voyage to a shopping mall, where they came upon Susan Faith. The woman saw them coming, but did not move out of their way because she "wanted to see if the dog would walk around me." The dog tugged at his leash, but Henley didn't change directions fast enough, accidentally stepping on Faith's toe and breaking it. Faith could not believe the gall of the blind man. After learning that Henley had no money, Faith sued the dog's owner, Southeastern Guide Dogs, for "loss of earning capacity . . . and mental pain and suffering." Her husband, Reverend Ian Faith (yes, Reverend), felt he also deserved compensation for the loss of his wife's care, comfort, and consortium. The Faiths refused Southeastern's offer to cover $5,000 worth of medical bills. Vernon Henley died, but the couple kept the faith and soldiered on with their case.

The Verdict, Please . . .
After a newspaper article about the lack of faith shown by the plaintiffs, the couple was inundated with furious phone calls. Reverend and Ms. Faith then decided to be good Christians and they turned the other cheek. After dropping their claim, their born-again law firm, Mulock, Thompson, and Little, followed suit and donated $1,000 to Southeastern Guide Dogs.

[Dixie]

Hmmmmm

[Kitsa]

On the other hand, while we were walking we came upon this excellent dead hawklike thing.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/deadhawk.jpg

[Dixie]

I hate birds.
No pity for the wretched fiends.

[Kitsa]

you're in a good mood today.

[Dixie]

No, just medicated.
Heavily.

[Dixie]

I did however find a heavy metal song about telling a girl to shave her arm pits.
Danish people are great.

[Sam]

YNGWIE

[Dixie]

I still have no clue where the fuck that came from.

[Sam]

IT CAME FROM YOUR NEED TO ROCK.

[Dixie]

:loo
This is your brain on drugs kids.
Just say no.

[ElPila666]

>:

[Tadao]

Yesterday I saw a big hawk teaching a little hawk how to fight in the air. The big one was doing all kinds of upside down claws up attacks. Pretty cool.

[Kitsa]

Stupid blisters.

[JJ_Maniac]

I didn't know you were blind.

[JJ_Maniac]

Incidentally, I am back after finding a job, a girlfriend, and a new apartment. I'm sure no one missed me, or noticed I was gone. Whee.

[Kitsa]

I'm not blind, I'm a gimp.

The bf just came back inside to report that our drunken neighbor is peeing out his back door about 6 feet from ours. Fantastic.

[JJ_Maniac]

My mistake. He can pee six feet? Colour me impressed.
EDIT: I just realized blind people cannot use forums.

[Kitsa]

I hope he can't. His door is 6 feet from ours.

He's the kind of fella whose general alcohol aura about knocks you over when he waddles over to talk to you :(

[JJ_Maniac]

Counter him by wearing oppressive amounts of crappy perfume. It will drive him away in an instant. Or make an even fouler odor by mixing with the alcohol. Either way, it will send him off.

[Kitsa]

I don't know, he kind of operates in his own alternate reality, where neighbors' yards are good places for automotive repair and the world is your pissoir.

[JJ_Maniac]

The world is your pissoir for every man. That is why the "urine delivery system" is designed like a fire hose. Some places are just more inconvenient than others.

[Kitsa]

yeah, well, c'etait fucké.

Or something to that extent.

[Tadao]

Blind people can use forum you twit.

[pac-man]

Yeah, it's the Aspies that can't use forums.

[kahljorn]

The bf just came back inside to report that our drunken neighbor is peeing out his back door about 6 feet from ours. Fantastic.

One of my brother-in-laws gets drunk and pees on doors for some reason ;\ And this is when he's basically unconscious/blacked out. He doesn't even realize it. He pissed on our screen door and one of his friends bathroom door.

[JJ_Maniac]

Blind people can use forum you twit.

How would they read and respond to comments? Copying and pasting sections of print to Microsoft Sam is hardly efficient.

[pac-man]

http://homokaasu.org/pics/g/e29.jpg

I-Mockery isn't nearly as evil as I would've guessed. :(

[kahljorn]

How would they read and respond to comments?Highly-trained seeing eye chimps

[pac-man]

Braille monitors.

[kahljorn]

lol. they actually make devices that translate things on screen to some braile thing ;\ and programs that read text on webpages.

in the tutoring center they have all kinds of cool machines for blind/deaf persons ;o

[pac-man]

I've been watching TLC for the last two hours. It's like a sad carnival.

[Kitsa]

Jon & Kate Plus Eight can go straight to hell.

[pac-man]

Tonight was My Shocking Story night. First they had a guy with a really hideous tumor covering his whole face; he wanted it removed, but wouldn't undergo surgery because he's Jehovah's Witness. Nonsense. In the end they said they'd tried to take it off little by little. Then it was primordial dwarfs. The lady who interviewed the dwarfs kept asking them shit like, "Do you think you'll ever get married?" and "How long do you think you'll live?"

[Kitsa]

Primordial Dwarves have big problems with embolisms, don't they?

[pac-man]

Yeah. They actually interviewed the oldest primordial in the US-- she was 42.

[Tadao]

lol. they actually make devices that translate things on screen to some braile thing ;\ and programs that read text on webpages.

in the tutoring center they have all kinds of cool machines for blind/deaf persons ;o

There are programs that read to you the words on the screen as well. I use to sell them at a software store. Dragon Natural Speaking was really good at it from what the customers said. You could also dictate to your computer fairly well.

[Kitsa]

Sucks :(

[kahljorn]

yea, thats what i meant when i said they have programs that read text on pages ;o the machine at my school that transcribes what people says is pretty awesome ;o

They also have a program that you can stick a book into and it will speak it outloud, and also something that turns things into braille but I haven't seen that one ;\

[pac-man]

http://blog.pcnews.ro/wp-content/photo/2007/02/c47fl.jpg

They have computer screens like this that pop up in braille.




No, I don't know if they do but that'd be pretty fucking cool.

[Tadao]

DP?

EDIT: never mind

WTF is he talking about ranKeRi?

[Tadao]

Happy BDay Fatty Catty Daddy

[WhiteRat]

Nothing beats a birthday like having a terrible chest cold.

[Tadao]

I've just got a cold yesterday! It's gonna be a rough one. Feels like I've been drinking for a week.

[Kitsa]

I thought today would be much better than it actually was. It's supposed to be 60 degrees, but it's rainy and chilly. I took the dog for a long walk yesterday, and I have big blisters on my feet, so it's just as well I didn't take the walk I intended to today.

Also, my grandmother, who has been in "how does she pull through at all?" territory for 2 years, has had another health crisis and it's not looking good. So there's all the usual family drama surrounding that.

Instead of being all sprightly and springy on a sunny Thursday, I passed out watching Kairo (http://www.mandiapple.com/snowblood/kairo_pulse.htm) on the couch with a box of Frosted Mini-Wheats on my stomach.

I woke up with a jolt during that bit where they cut out all the ambient sound and the guy is whispering "help me" like he's in the damn room with you.

Came backwards off that couch like Hunter S. Thompson on amyl poppers.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Happy Birthday WhiteRat.

I'm sending you a feelbettergram

http://thesingingtelegram.com/

[pac-man]

Happy Birthday, WhiteRat. Some binge drinking will loosen up that phlegm.

[Kitsa]

Mother sets fire to her daughter's gloating rapist



By Peter Upton in Alicante
Last Updated: 11:48PM BST 25 Jun 2005

A Spanish mother has taken revenge on the man who raped her 13-year-old daughter at knifepoint by dousing him in petrol and setting him alight. He died of his injuries in hospital on Friday.
Antonio Cosme Velasco Soriano, 69, had been sent to jail for nine years in 1998, but was let out on a three-day pass and returned to his home town of Benejúzar, 30 miles south of Alicante, on the Costa Blanca.
While there, he passed his victim's mother in the street and allegedly taunted her about the attack. He is said to have called out "How's your daughter?", before heading into a crowded bar.
Shortly after, the woman walked into the bar, poured a bottle of petrol over Soriano and lit a match. She watched as the flames engulfed him, before walking out.
The woman fled to Alicante, where she was arrested the same evening. When she appeared in court the next day in the town of Orihuela, she was cheered and clapped by a crowd, who shouted "Bravo!" and "Well done!"
A judge ordered her to be held in prison and undergo psychiatric tests, provoking anger from friends and neighbours, who have set up a petition calling for her release.
Soriano suffered 60 per cent burns in the attack on June 13 and was airlifted to a specialist unit. He survived for 11 days before succumbing to his injuries.
It is understood that the woman, who cannot be named because of laws safeguarding the identity of rape victims, claims to have no recollection of the attack which took place in the Bar Mary, just 300 yards from the family home.
As decorators painted over the blackened walls of his bar last week, Antonio Ferrendez Lopez told how Soriano had walked in at lunchtime.
"The place was packed with people eating. I was sitting at a table and Soriano was standing at the bar very close to me when the woman walked in," he said. "She didn't acknowledge anyone but walked up to Soriano, who was drinking a coffee, put her hand on his shoulder and turned him round to face her.
"Then she pulled the bottle she was carrying from under her arm and began to tip it over him. At first I didn't realise what was happening, but then I smelt the petrol. I jumped up and tried to grab her, but when she struck a match I got clear.
"The petrol was in a pool around Soriano, and she threw the match into it. It ignited with a whoosh, and he screamed and staggered about covered in flames. As people rushed outside to escape the flames, she just looked at him, then turned and walked away."
Customers helped Mr Lopez put out the fire with extinguishers and doused Soriano with water until paramedics arrived.
Soriano's attack on the woman's teenage daughter took place in 1998. The girl was going to buy a loaf of bread when Soriano snatched her from the street, threatened her with a knife and raped her. Her mother is said to have suffered mental illness ever since.
Soriano was convicted of the rape and ordered to serve 13 years in jail. The sentence was later reduced to nine years on appeal.
The woman's lawyer, Joaquín Galant, told The Sunday Telegraph last night: "The family has suffered a double tragedy. First the attack on their daughter and now this. Both the father and his daughter would like to express their sadness at the death of Soriano."
Earlier, Mr Galant said that the woman did not deserve to be kept in prison. "For seven years she has been deeply affected by what was done to her daughter," he said. "This man, fresh from prison and asking how her daughter was, might be considered to have provoked her."

[WhiteRat]

Happy Birthday WhiteRat.

I'm sending you a feelbettergram

http://thesingingtelegram.com/

Hopefully the woman is better looking than the one on the site and topless as well.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'll get the Broadway Baby
http://thesingingtelegram.com/images/lorre1.JPG

[kahljorn]

awesome story Kitsa ;D

i prefer the justice of persons to justice of the state :O I DUNNO WHYYY

[Sam]

Happy birthday WhiteRat! :O

Today I officially decided to extend the celebration of my birthday to this Saturday because I have lots of beer.

[RaNkeri]

Happy birthday Rat :eek

Man, all the cool guys are born in february

[pac-man]

Man, all the cool guys are born in february

Aw shucks... :blush

[pac-man]

I think it's safe to say I've drank myself sober. Goodnight all.

[Zhukov]

February is a good month for Birthdaying.

[Kitsa]

Happy belated birthday...

Man, this is shaping up to be a shitty day.

We did have one tiny bit of fun last night. We were out and a cop pulled us over on the I-75 on-ramp. We had no idea what the problem was until the cop started playing his "I bet I can guess your name and birthdate" thing and ended with, "I bet you didn't renew your registration."

Luckily for us, we'd made a color copy of the check and the completed form and put it in the glove box just in case that very thing happened. We handed it to the cop, who said that he'd never dealt with on-the-site proof in 5 years and that he'd have to let us go.

That was an expensive ticket we got out of, so that was good.

[Lenor]

I just threw up a little in my mouth..

LOVE YOU!

[Kitsa]

@kahl- yeah, entirely justified in my opinion, the prick was actually taunting her about getting off light for raping her 13 year old daughter.

[Lenor]

Since I'm not reading the entire thread, this might already have been said; but honestly, can you really tell anymore what is rape and what was once willing? I am not justifying any type of sexual behavior being forced onto anyone, but there is a vast majority of 13 year old's humping around like bunnies now; And they also like to lie.

[MetalMilitia]

Man this sucks. My girlfriend is out of town for the night so I was trying to arrange some kind of manly get-together. About 10 minutes ago it became clear that I basically have too few friends to arrange shit. Of the three people I thought I could coax into some Friday night drinking two have dropped out and it'll be kind of queer with just two of us.

On top of this I got shit marks for my first two exams which is kind of putting a downer on things.

Now I have thirty quids worth of booze and no one to drink it with. Fuck my life :lol

[Tadao]

Since I'm not reading the entire thread, this might already have been said; but honestly, can you really tell anymore what is rape and what was once willing?

Hugh_bristic can't.

[Kitsa]

I'd hate to make you go back a whole page, but the guy ambushed a 13 year old girl while she was on a grocery-shopping errand for her mom. He raped her at knifepoint, so unless she was mega-kinky that way I doubt she was into it.

[MetalMilitia]

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/funny-pictures-csi-cat-collects-evidence1.jpg

[Tadao]

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y57/Suentis/okphdl.png

[MetalMilitia]

:lol

[Tadao]

I want that as a painting.

[RaNkeri]

And I'll whisper "....no"

[kahljorn]

Of the three people I thought I could coax into some Friday night drinking two have dropped out and it'll be kind of queer with just two of us.

its not queer to get faded with a buddy ;o

[RaNkeri]

Hurrah, I got my DVD player to work :rock

[Kitsa]

On top of what had already been a shitty day, I lifted the lid of the washer and smelled that the clothes were not as April-fresh as expected. I unloaded the washer, saw a dark lump at the bottom and ended up picking up a washed cat turd with my bare hand. I have no idea how it got there, nothing like this has ever happened before.

Ugh.

I'm bleaching what I can and tossing the rest.

[pac-man]

Not very many washing machines have a cat shit cycle.

[Tadao]

I would think that you would not pick up a dark thing in the bottom of the washer with your bare hands when your laundry doesn't smell normal.

[Kitsa]

In the dim light, I thought it was a wadded up piece of hosiery.

I thought perhaps a towel had mildewed and had a sour smell, or something. Wasn't sure.

[RaNkeri]

I think I'll hit the hay

[executioneer]

i think ill hit ur mom lololol

[Lenor]

WOAH.. wait wait wait ... rewind be kind .. So this girl was grocery shopping and this guy just randomly grabbed her at knife point and dragged her out of the store?? She had to of been scared, you would think someone would of noticed? I know it was a very messed up situation, but why in hell didn't she start picking up random shit and hitting him with it, screaming fire and run the hell away?

Obviously that grocery store has really shitty employes and I would have it shut down..

[Tadao]

She never made it to the store.

"The girl was going to buy a loaf of bread when Soriano snatched her from the street, threatened her with a knife and raped her."

[Seven Force]

so the question left is which hole

[Tadao]

She was like 13 so any hole has got to be nice and tight.

[Seven Force]

oh my god i didnt know :x now i just feel terrible :(

[Seven Force]

the toast that couldve been...

[Lenor]

Brian.. my dear.. so so SO wrong..

kinda like all that funny porn you like to look at so much!

[Seven Force]

feet is never funny

unless its clown shoes

[kahljorn]

why in hell didn't she start picking up random shit and hitting him with it, screaming fire and run the hell away?

why in the hell does anyone get raped? WHY DIDNT THAT WOMAN JUST LIKE THROW HER ATTACKER OFF AND THEN LIKE PICK UP A BUS AND THROW IT AT HIM? WHAT THE FUCK.
NEXT TIME THAT THIRTEEN YEAR OLD SHOULD TRY A LITTLE BIT HARDER.

good job coming back and resuming your retarded character-like behavior ;\

[pac-man]

Ease up, Kahl... the point was valid, but I don't think any of us knew that she got snatched before she got into the store before Tadao said so. There was a little girl (I forget how old, but under 13) who escaped her captors, got home, and had the cops on there asses before they knew she was gone a few years back. It's not unreasonable, assuming they're in a grocery store, to ask why wouldn't she go apeshit and throw stuff around and scream.

EDIT: Dave Chappelle - How old is 15, really?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afaYTA2a4gA

(the girl was 7 years old http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_8_102/ai_90468685)

[executioneer]

guys get back on topic or im gonna split this stuff to the potilitics board

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm drunk. That's the new topic.

"Beauty is only skin deep. Rape comes from inside" -.........Fucking Horrible.

[pac-man]

http://blog.projects-abroad.net/images/uploads/Linda_Richman.jpg

I'm all verklempt... talk amongst yourselves... I'll give you a topic: 10,000 Volt Ghost is neither electrified nor deceased- discuss.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol

Still kinda drunk.....might meet this guy I met on craigslist. Hopefully I won't die. :(

[pac-man]

Meh... I've met plenty of people on Craigslist and I haven't died yet. Granted they were from the erotic services section, but still... :\

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Maybe I should just drink less. I'm supposed to hang out with this Polish-Rican hottie on sunday I met through my roommate. From what I gathered talking to her so far she's basically just me with a vagina. Or I'm her with a penis. We haven't decided yet. Either way I think we're the mirror image of each other.

Here's hopin for Buttsex.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Happy Birthday Uncle_Sham

You ignorant fucks!

[MetalMilitia]

Oh my god. I've got the worst fucking hangover ever.

Cures please

[Kitsa]

I didn't even know there was a fucking topic in the chat thread. Do we have to stick to KITTIES or whatever the first post's current edit is?

Anyhow, I've got no sympathy for those of you who can't even go back one fucking page to check the details of a news story.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Oh my god. I've got the worst fucking hangover ever.

Cures please


I'm sure I'm hours late for the cure but I use cranberry juice to flush my system.

[pac-man]

Hair o' the dog.

[Guitar Woman]

http://bacolicio.us/http://www.i-mockery.com/

[Guitar Woman]

METALMILITIA YOU COULD TRY BEING A MAN AND TAKING YOUR HANGOVER LIKE YOU DESERVE

[kahljorn]

It's not valid, she was just being a fucking idiot. And so are you. Go fuck yourself.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://bacolicio.us/http://www.i-mockery.com/


:lol

[executioneer]

I didn't even know there was a fucking topic in the chat thread. Do we have to stick to KITTIES or whatever the first post's current edit is?


i was being facetious i just didtn think this thread was an appropriate place to have a "serious discussion"!

[Kitsa]

Sorry. I've had a really shitty few days.

[executioneer]

haha literally :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:rimshot

[Kitsa]

Yes, part of it did involve actual shit :(

[Tadao]

I was peeing out my butt yesterday.

[Kitsa]

That sounds like fun.

I woke up with something similar to strep this morning. My throat hurt so badly it was hard to get two excedrin down, and I've got one of those fevers where your skin and hair even hurt.

With everything else going on, it's making for a really great time.

[kahljorn]

good god...

[pac-man]

I think I'm coming down with polio.

[Kitsa]

shit happens to everyone sooner or later, just life, doesn't matter.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Uh Oh. Polio!

Just put some Tussin on it.

[Tadao]

Rub your chest with raw chicken to cure Polio.

[pac-man]

False alarm. It was just gas.

[executioneer]

http://www.playworksonline.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/250px-shodan_hires.jpg
THE POLIO FORM IS DEAD, INSECT. ARE YOU AFRAID?

[executioneer]

i never should've gotten the ingredients to make margaritas, now i'm all drunk and shit and everyones gone to bed

[Zhukov]

There's always the southern hemisphere.

[executioneer]

in theory, yes

[Zhukov]

I think it's there in practice, too. My existence proves this.

[Kitsa]

heh.

Sore throat's still here. I was hoping when I woke up it'd be gone :( Dammit.

[Fathom Zero]

Work sucks.

[RaNkeri]

oh god Oh God OH GOD OHHHH GOOOOOOODDDD

I accidentally bought a bottle of Pepsi Max Mojo, and it's fucking disgusting :x

But being a man I'm planning to finish it no matter what >:

[RaNkeri]

Holy shit, I did it.

I'm still standing