I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Dimnos]

Cum spray. Is that the new thing the kids are saying these days?

[elx]

apple is the best company in the world! acquired $1,000+ worth of damage on your macbook with no warranty? no problem. have a new one. we'll ship it to you overnight. have a nice day!


plus the genius was very cute <3 :D

[elx]

they don't deserve the awful reputation they have :(

[Evil Robot II]

In NYC schools that behavior would be considered normal.

[Evil Robot II]

And Foxcon employees kill themselves when they fail apple.

[Tadao]

they don't deserve the awful reputation they have :(

They have a bad reputation for a reason. In another couple of months you will remember why, but then they will show you the same product with an add on that was invented before said product was made and you will ohh and ahh about it.

I don't mind these business tactics, I just hate it when they act like the fat kid who gets bullied by big bad Microsoft. Fucking pussies.

[Esuohlim]

Nintendo is the same way.

But I had a problem with my HP laptop not turning on at all when it was only two months old, and I had to JUMP THROUGH HOOPS to get it fixed without charge. I was declined a brand new one.

[Zhukov]

They could make it so it isn't designed to break in the fucking first place.

[Chojin]

that would mean lowering their 2000% markup

[Kitsa]

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/320easterbunny.jpg


$320 chocolate easter bunny. 35 lbs.

[Babs]

Oh wow! :love Anthony Thomas?

[Pub Lover]

It's all fun and games until some tranny dies.
..

[Tadao]

Secret hate notes in spoiler tag code makes me feel like I am getting all my hate out, yet not ruining the thread.

:eek

[Kitsa]

esther price.

[Pub Lover]

Secret hate notes in spoiler tag code makes me feel like I am getting all my hate out, yet not ruining the thread.

:eek

Way to tell everyone the secret. :eek

[Kitsa]

when I think of someone who knows the secret of not ruining threads, I think of Pub.

[Pub Lover]

It is true. I only ruin thread. I keep my trash in one place. I am a hoarder of my bullshit. :eek

[Pub Lover]

You look very beautiful. Once again I am astounded by the visual delight of the women that post here.

Agreed.

[Tadao]

She was way hotter as a trampy raver. :tear

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I feel like there needs to be tits in here.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Some spambots tits for dicks sake.

[Tadao]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/WebJunk/NYNY.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

: lol awesome

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Ladies

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

i love me some ladies

[Sam]

I LOVE PUSSY

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I want some tang mang.

[Phoenix Gamma]

After the whole thing last week with everyone I loved throwing an early surprise party for my friend with the same birthday as me, I decided to round everyone up and go to an arcade 30 minutes away and then get drinks for my birthday party.

Long story short, I spent all day drawing, eating, waiting for tomorrow so I can go to work.
So basically I need new friends.
How is a 23 year old supposed to meet people when he's not in college? >:

On the bright side, got a lot of work done today. So that felt good. Caught up on my podcasts. That was nice. Mark Maron's podcast is really great if you like comedians and want to hear them talk about being comedians.

[Tadao]

No one showed up?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I would have showed up. for the drinks and fucking skeeball for damn sure.

[Phoenix Gamma]

No one showed up?
Either they didn't want to go or they didn't get back to me, which means they didn't want to go, which means I officially have no friends :rock
Or everyone I know sucks. Which is entirely possible, though as the saying goes, if you can't tell who is the sucker during a game of poker, you're the sucker. Or something like that.

[Pub Lover]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/WebJunk/NYNY.jpg

:wank

[Guitar Woman]

Yeah, I'd totally do those Svedka robots.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

guitar woman. Where are your tits in that picture?

[Tadao]

Either they didn't want to go or they didn't get back to me, which means they didn't want to go, which means I officially have no friends :rock
Or everyone I know sucks. Which is entirely possible, though as the saying goes, if you can't tell who is the sucker during a game of poker, you're the sucker. Or something like that.

They are just jealous of your girlish figure.

[Supafly345]

I only now noticed the thread title so I'm sorry if this incredibly witty and topical image has been posted already. And sorry for this little bit of text that is ruining if it hasn't. Ans sorry for mentioning the thread title in order to set up an image joke that isn't worth it.
http://www.mst3000.org/images/303/itstinks1.jpg

[Esuohlim]

That i-mock ladiez pic needs more Terra w/ beard

[Grislygus]

I came home from school yesterday and there was a note and my girlfriend left me :(

Sheeit, that sucks. In fact; I'm so sorry to hear that, I'm not going to be facetious or dickish.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Still waiting for those gee dubya tats

[Grislygus]

I'm actually going to be the idiot internet sympathizer here. I sincerely hope that you get very, very drunk with friends, and get over this shit quickly

[Grislygus]

Huh
Did I promise tattoos again


Hang on, what was it? I'll be near a scanner on monday

[elx]

They have a bad reputation for a reason. In another couple of months you will remember why, but then they will show you the same product with an add on that was invented before said product was made and you will ohh and ahh about it.

I don't mind these business tactics, I just hate it when they act like the fat kid who gets bullied by big bad Microsoft. Fucking pussies.
dude, just look at it the way I do: yes apple releases on trashed cycles. and yeah, they do have the incredibly annoying/stereotypical fanbase that everyone makes fun of -- they are dense, gullible, and willing to buy anything branded, but they're also eternally loyal and they're devoted life-long fans. they feel they have earned this grandiose sense of entitlement just because they've given such an absurd amount of money to the company. so they expect top priority on waiting lists, the best service, the fastest response times, help whenever they want it and continuous smiles.

their douchebaggery is awesome for the rest of us, because apple automatically assumes that everyone in their userbase is one of these creatures. they can't treat any of us badly or let us walk away upset -- because then there's a chance that they'll be losing the devoted life-long customer. they'll go out of their way to make everyone happy just incase. they don't mind taking a 1k loss on a clusmy teenager, because they expect the clumsy teenager will turn around and spend 2k every 6 months, on new computers, phones, ipods, ipads, etc.


with a company like HP, there's is no such thing as fandom. they never expect customers to offer devoted support or long term benefit. the only priority they have is to sell products. once milhouse has already purchased this product, it no longer matters if they piss him off or not. with that flexibility, they'll just continue to try and get as much money off of him as they possibly can, while they still have him. they'll fight him on every last dime, fee, shipment payment, phone call, maintenance session, service renewal, etc. I bet they'll even put him on hold for thirty minutes and make him listen to greenday just so he's less likely to call the complimentary support in the future.

I would rather be with the company that pretends I have value and treats me awesomely, than the one that just treats me like shit.

(as long as you're not the type to get caught up in the kind of cyclic/trendy/ritualistic buying, it should be worth it. just leave the android in the car, buy the computer and prepare to take advantage of fandom. it's like getting all of the union benefits without ever having to pay the membership fees!)


So basically I need new friends.
How is a 23 year old supposed to meet people when he's not in college? >:

maybe try participating in specific activities you enjoy and meeting others that are doing the same? I dunno. it seems friendships that develop from common interests > friends that come from convenience. in college everybody automatically buddies up to neighbors, roommates, friends of friends, classmates, etc. and that's silly, because you end up with a group of randomly mix-matched people that would probably hate eachother after a day or two of sobriety. you should go to the arcade anyway and buy drinks for the other dudes that actually want to be there. great way to make friends I bet!

edit: I am talking too much >:

and you forgot wiffles tadao! :(

[Pub Lover]

I think it both hot and amusing that Miss Elx has a better grasp of the hot ladies of the forum than the so called pervy chaps do. :eek

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

My girlfriend has a friend who is single.

[Pub Lover]

edit: I am talking too much >:
Never going to happen, pretty face. :love

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I totallu have a pair of sexy chaps too.

[Pub Lover]

I totallu have a pair of sexy chaps too.

I know you do, but would you please cover them up with some underpants for once. :eek

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Never

[Pub Lover]

I'm kidding, of course. Please post pictures of your balls, Bill. :eek

[Pub Lover]

...I have no problem with the insulting implications of this since I have no self-esteem...

[...]
Would it be a dick move to try to sabotage my friend?

That thread makes me feel sick. I hate sex so much. :willie

[Pub Lover]

Oh Christ. :(

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/april/MISSEDBRAK.jpg

[Tadao]

and you forgot wiffles tadao! :(

She needs to get back here and post a pic. :(

[Pub Lover]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/WebJunk/NYNY.jpg

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/WebJunk/BFF.jpg

:wank

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I was going to post a picture of my dong but blacked out......down to the pixel.

[Pub Lover]

Nothing is stopping you, hotstuff. :eek

[Zhukov]

dude, just look at it the way I do: yes apple releases on trashed cycles. and yeah, they do have the incredibly annoying/stereotypical fanbase that everyone makes fun of -- they are dense, gullible, and willing to buy anything branded, but they're also eternally loyal and they're devoted life-long fans. they feel they have earned this grandiose sense of entitlement just because they've given such an absurd amount of money to the company. so they expect top priority on waiting lists, the best service, the fastest response times, help whenever they want it and continuous smiles.

their douchebaggery is awesome for the rest of us, because apple automatically assumes that everyone in their userbase is one of these creatures. they can't treat any of us badly or let us walk away upset -- because then there's a chance that they'll be losing the devoted life-long customer. they'll go out of their way to make everyone happy just incase. they don't mind taking a 1k loss on a clusmy teenager, because they expect the clumsy teenager will turn around and spend 2k every 6 months, on new computers, phones, ipods, ipads, etc.


with a company like HP, there's is no such thing as fandom. they never expect customers to offer devoted support or long term benefit. the only priority they have is to sell products. once milhouse has already purchased this product, it no longer matters if they piss him off or not. with that flexibility, they'll just continue to try and get as much money off of him as they possibly can, while they still have him. they'll fight him on every last dime, fee, shipment payment, phone call, maintenance session, service renewal, etc. I bet they'll even put him on hold for thirty minutes and make him listen to greenday just so he's less likely to call the complimentary support in the future.

I would rather be with the company that pretends I have value and treats me awesomely, than the one that just treats me like shit.

(as long as you're not the type to get caught up in the kind of cyclic/trendy/ritualistic buying, it should be worth it. just leave the android in the car, buy the computer and prepare to take advantage of fandom. it's like getting all of the union benefits without ever having to pay the membership fees!)

Sorry GW I just can't read all that with any interest. :\


maybe try participating in specific activities you enjoy and meeting others that are doing the same? I dunno. it seems friendships that develop from common interests > friends that come from convenience. in college everybody automatically buddies up to neighbors, roommates, friends of friends, classmates, etc. and that's silly, because you end up with a group of randomly mix-matched people that would probably hate eachother after a day or two of sobriety. you should go to the arcade anyway and buy drinks for the other dudes that actually want to be there. great way to make friends I bet!
This is better. Phoenix: I've only got a few friends from school that I actually like, the rest are just acquaintances that I happen to know, and seem to end up at their birthday parties despite not actually liking them. A few months ago I started training to be a referee for the local roller derby team, and the friends I have made there are people that are as old as, or older, than me, (so it's not too late to make friends) like what I like, and are ten times more entertaining than the people I used to hang out with. It's never too late to make good friends. Elx's turn up to the arcade and make friends idea sounds like a good one to me, unless you are a total creep about it.

I was going to post a picture of my dong but blacked out......down to the pixel.

[Zhukov]

Woops; I was meant to put :lol on that last quote.

[Pub Lover]

Sorry GW I just can't read all that with any interest. :\
I read it with interest. :eek
...unless you are a total creep about it.

I do everything in the manner of a total creep. :eek

[Pub Lover]

She draws on herself too much.

I thought those were tattoos, but I guess if the second picture is newer then yeah that's a good indicator of The Crazy

That seems reverse logic to me. Tattoos don't wash off. :eek

[Fathom Zero]

I was served with a summons today! Yay!

[Kitsa]

THIS IS FOR THE BRITISH PEOPLE

Mr Kitsa walked in as I was watching the "Bonfire Day" episode of Mulberry and wondered why the British would burn Guy Richie in effigy once a year.

:lol

[Guitar Woman]

I bought 8 hits of acid today.

God yes, I've been waiting for this since I was 12.

[Pub Lover]

THIS IS FOR THE BRITISH PEOPLE

Mr Kitsa walked in as I was watching the "Bonfire Day" episode of Mulberry and wondered why the British would burn Guy Richie in effigy once a year.

:lol

Snatch.

[Pub Lover]

"MY NO STRINGS ATTACHED FUCKBUDDY'S GERTTING HERSUFF A BOYFRERND AH LAWD WHO COULD HAVE FORSEEN THIS"

The problem is that he likes her and he took any opportunity to be close to her. Even an idiotic, slutty, heart-breaking one. :(

[Grislygus]

So. To recap, she's occupying the male status in the relationship.

[Pub Lover]

I disagree with your gender-stereotyping but yeah, he is the bitch.

[Kitsa]

Seeing as I don't factor in the billboard photo, you'd best change the title from "Ladies of I-Mockery" to "Ladies of I-Mockery I'd Have Relations With".

[MLE]

Or "Ladies of I-Mockery That Sound Like They're Single"

[Fathom Zero]

Your red hair still has a special place in my heart, Kitsa.

[Pub Lover]

Seeing as I don't factor in the billboard photo, you'd best change the title from "Ladies of I-Mockery" to "Ladies of I-Mockery I'd Have Relations With".

You tell me off every time I suggest I have an interest in boffing you. :(

[LordSappington]

Working in retail, I have learned of one of the most dreaded types of customers: The last minute shopper. These are the assholes with the uncanny ability to show up mere moments before you leave, equipped with a long list, and extremely indecisive mindset.
Also, this specific example consisted of a fat 26-30 year old guy, and his girlfriend/wife/whatever who appeared to be 40 or so. :(

[LordSappington]

Also, we got some new guy who transferred over from Dallas. He's worked in Randall's delis for two or three years, while he studied History at UNT. Then promptly moved here and... still works at Randalls. Two of his more unique moments:
Me: "Do you like the internet at all? Any cool sites?"
Him: "I just use it for porn." *Looks at me with his usual dead-inside look, then walks back to the sink*

And then today: "I don't really care if I get dirty at work. This is actually one of my cleaner days."
He was covered in crusted foodstuffs and grease.

HE'S SINGLE, LADIES

[Babs]

Going to need some snap shots to confirm this.

[Shyandquietguy]

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!
SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!

:pagebrak

[Grislygus]

Also, we got some new guy who transferred over from Dallas. He's worked in Randall's delis for two or three years, while he studied History at UNT. Then promptly moved here and... still works at Randalls. Two of his more unique moments:
Me: "Do you like the internet at all? Any cool sites?"
Him: "I just use it for porn." *Looks at me with his usual dead-inside look, then walks back to the sink*

And then today: "I don't really care if I get dirty at work. This is actually one of my cleaner days."
He was covered in crusted foodstuffs and grease.

HE'S SINGLE, LADIES

Oh nman, that makes me want to repost my true-story JEREMY THE DISHWASHER MS Paint comics again. Pub, you didn't happen to save those in a folder or anything, did you

[Grislygus]

Okay, you're in high school, so you haven't learned this yet. Cute and accessible, but a little anti-social "geeky" girls? with random fucking things wrong with them? Who tell you that they "have trouble opening up to people"? And have excess baggage to boot?


Waste of time. Getting laid is easy, you pussbot. GO TO PARTIES or something, Jesus

'Course, I love fat girls, so I keep tapping that same stupid shit myself :x JUST DO AS I SAY

[Grislygus]

I love fat girls

at least on the chubby, cute side of things, as opposed to gout-ridden walrus. I also like athletic chicks. GIVE ME SOME CURVES. ...Just to clarify.

[Grislygus]

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/idiot2.png

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/idiot.png

[Pub Lover]

Pub, you didn't happen to save those in a folder or anything, did you

Not that I can find. :(

[Grislygus]

THANK GAWD FOR PHOTOBUCKET

[Pub Lover]

Right-click, Save as...

[Grislygus]

I'm tempted to make a thread consisting entirely of selections from my photobucket account

[LordSappington]

Fortunately, Drew here hasn't gotten to this level yet. He is rather unsettling, though. He's one of those guys that never has any emotion in his face or voice, ever. God forbid anyone ever gets the idea he was ever happy at any point in his life. I think he subconsciously tries to make up for this by making inappropriate attempts at humor, such as when I came back from break and we had this little exchange:
Me: "Did I miss anything while I was gone?"
Drew: "We had an orgy with a bunch of girls. It was cool."
At this point, he continued his routine 'Stare at you with no visible change in any way. Possibly into your soul.'
More unsettling is that he apparently has a crush on the tiny, tiny teenage girl who works in the bakery across from us. This worries me greatly, not only because she's often the only person nearby that keeps me from going postal, but that any advance from him to her would probably end up with a physical manifestation of pure workplace awkwardness, aimed directly at me, because I think he thinks I'm his friend now.

[Grislygus]

FUck bra

I totally did the photobucket thread, and it was just as hilarious as I'd imagined, but I-Mockery logged me out when I tried to post it. IT'S NOT TO BE

[Pub Lover]

Boo. :(

[Grislygus]

The photos of me as a long-haired little twerp were hilarious

[Grislygus]

hang on

[Grislygus]

THE EVOLUTION OF THE GRISLY GUS


http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/IMG_0270.jpg
http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/IMG_0272.jpg
http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/17.gif
http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/TETRIS.gif
http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/IMG_0575.jpg
http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/Copyof1001.jpg
http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/Photo0080.jpg

[Sam]

SO HANDSOME.

LIKE RONGI.

[Grislygus]

I love that apparently my hair was PERFECT for Locks for Love, but I will NEVER, EVER do long hair again, shit's gross

[Grislygus]

Some cancer kid got quality fucking shit, I'll tell you that much

[LordSappington]

I've lately started freaking out and becoming intensely uncomfortable the instant I realize that my hair has grown just past the point that I think I need a haircut. At this point, I'm inconsolable; even my girlfriend's insistence that longer hair looks 'Cuter on you', I almost rabidly insist on getting a haircut. This is made even worse by my indecisiveness on how I should get my hair cut, to the point where I tell whoever is cutting my hair to 'Please use your judgement. I'm scared and confused about my hair and how to style it.'

So far it's actually worked fairly well.

[Grislygus]

SAM DID YOU GET THAT MUDDER FECKING TATTOO PIC

[Guitar Woman]

Long hair after showering is the least comfortable thing.

[Guitar Woman]

My edit button's been stolen.

I don't think you fags realize how crippling that is.

[MLE]

With great power comes great responsibility

[Grislygus]

Damnit, show up and CONVERSE.

I HATE ADOBE ILLUSTRATOR

AND OTHER THINGS


NO ONE IS HERE TO COMMISERATE

[Shrubfest]

I have never used Illustrator.

Now, I doubt I ever will.

Thanks!

[Grislygus]

Stupid bastard of a program just curbstomped me, after I spent an hour laboriously fixing a problem

[Pentegarn]

I've lately started freaking out and becoming intensely uncomfortable the instant I realize that my hair has grown just past the point that I think I need a haircut. At this point, I'm inconsolable; even my girlfriend's insistence that longer hair looks 'Cuter on you', I almost rabidly insist on getting a haircut.

I feel you. I like to keep my lettuce tight as well, soon as it grows beyond a certain point I get antsy and want it cut right away. Heck my GF even voices pretty much the same longer hair argument as well.

[Shrubfest]

Sounds like the usual fun. I got given the whole Adobe Cs4 pack, and the only thing I've touched is Photoshop.
I don't even know what half of the shit is.

[Grislygus]

All you need to know is that Maya is hellspawn

[LordSappington]

I feel you. I like to keep my lettuce tight as well, soon as it grows beyond a certain point I get antsy and want it cut right away. Heck my GF even voices pretty much the same longer hair argument as well.
This is also getting worse with having my girlfriend's prom in a few weeks; whenever I get reminded of it, I stare at a mirror and try to think 'Should I trim my hair? I think it needs a trim. And what about the color? I think I need to touch it up. But should I stay with the blue, or go with green?'
I can see why my parents thought I'm gay.

[Pub Lover]

My edit button's been stolen.

I don't think you fags realize how crippling that is.

You should never have been given it back. >:

[Pub Lover]

I can see why my parents thought I'm gay.

All the cocksucking was probably it. :eek

[LordSappington]

Figurative or literal? I'm pretty famous for both

[Tadao]

Seeing as I don't factor in the billboard photo, you'd best change the title from "Ladies of I-Mockery" to "Ladies of I-Mockery I'd Have Relations With".

But you put a restraining order on me. >:

[Tadao]

Also the photomania thing only allowed 3 photos. You think I actually took time out of my busy day to photoshop them in? HAH

[Tadao]

Also getting jealous turns me on. :yum

[Esuohlim]

Or "Ladies of I-Mockery That Sound Like They're Single"

Shrub is legally married but no one here is taking that seriously

[MLE]

I'm not single either, but that doesn't stop people from assuming since I'm not with Choj, I must be single.

[Esuohlim]

And Elx is still 14, so the only single and obtainable I-Mock lady is kahljorn :eek

[Grislygus]

Kahljorn IS very confusing in drag

[Pub Lover]

Wait, is it not ok to wank over pictures of married/dating women? :eek

[Tadao]

I always check the single status of the women in the porn that I jerk it to.

[Zhukov]

Nobody is single? Guess I can stop the sucking up then.

[Pub Lover]

What a curious way to masturbate. :eek

[elx]

underage


14
really? twice in one day? I am almost 19 and I took that picture like two months ago :@

edit:
Nobody is single? Guess I can stop the sucking up then.
Hangie is single :)

[elx]

what was the name of that one film that was really sad with that zombie that sang that song that was like "all byyyyyy mysellllllf"?

[Colonel Flagg]

I am almost 19 and I took that picture like two months ago.

DO THE MATH, PEOPLE! >:

[Colonel Flagg]

I can see why my parents thought I'm gay.

:lol

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Hangie is more of a its complicated status....cuz thats a thing you can pick places now. I'd love to see that on my health and dental information.

Name: Bill
Occupation: Claims
Deductibe: 20%
Marital status: It's complicated

[Sam]

It's complicated between Shrub and me. :(

[Shrubfest]

Husband has decided to read this convo, as it's 'casting aspersions on our marriage' and that 'Tadao is clearly the alpha male here, and Milhouse backwards is the young upstart who needs to be put across my knee. Pricks'

I lol'ed.

[Sam]

Milhouse backwards is always the lucky one.

[Fathom Zero]

ass play rocks

[Babs]

rocks play ass

[Pentegarn]

DO THE MATH, PEOPLE! >:


And that wins the award for post of the year intended for an audience of one :lol

[Tadao]

:lol I've never been called an alpha male till now. I don't think he knows what it means.

:(

[Kitsa]

I need to clear things up a bit to say I'm not exactly jealous, more or less chuckling at the thought of not making the "female" list. Whether it was the actual thought or just the argument's-sake thought.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Still waiting for those gee dubya tats

Huh
Did I promise tattoos again


Hang on, what was it? I'll be near a scanner on monday

Hahaha, I totally meant G W Tits. instead of Gx2 Tats :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Husband has decided to read this convo, as it's 'casting aspersions on our marriage' and that 'Tadao is clearly the alpha male here, and Milhouse backwards is the young upstart who needs to be put across my knee. Pricks'

I lol'ed.

http://i557.photobucket.com/albums/ss17/mikey_boy76/Bane-breaks-Batman-497pg21.png

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Happy Real Birthday Phoenix Gamma.

[Chojin]

Husband has decided to read this convo, as it's "casting aspersions on our marriage"

does that make you aspies

[LordSappington]

I randomly came down with a fever at work, which sparked a major vertigo attack. I realized something was very wrong when the deli slicer started vibrating in my vision. Now I've been pretty much immobile in my bed. Fun times.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Happy Real Birthday Phoenix Gamma.
<3

I'm working a morning shift today sadly, but my manager is coming back from vacation, and she bakes for us on a regular basis. I'm hoping she remembers and brings me something special <3

I got into my first argument with a customer yesterday, though. He was some old man who didn't understand what the fuck he wanted ("I want a thing for my blackberry for when I'm in the car. It's a $95 thing you guys just came out with! I read it in Consumer Reports!") I was explaining to him that we only have two options to take calls with a phone (earbuds with a mic or a bluetooth headset) but he was old and cranky and told me I was "a real shitty salesman."

"Actually, sir, I'm a demonstration specialist. And employee of the month".

Fuck old people >:

[Pentegarn]

I need to clear things up a bit to say I'm not exactly jealous, more or less chuckling at the thought of not making the "female" list. Whether it was the actual thought or just the argument's-sake thought.

You'll always be a human female to me

[Zhukov]

Who do we think would win in a real life fight to become i-mockery alpha male?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

<3

I'm working a morning shift today sadly, but my manager is coming back from vacation, and she bakes for us on a regular basis. I'm hoping she remembers and brings me something special <3

"It's a $95 thing you guys just came out with! I read it in Consumer Reports!")

:lol I used to hate people who came in like that. People who read the farmers almanac were annoying too.

Who do we think would win in a real life fight to become i-mockery alpha male?

I went to the gym yesterday so I'm nominating myself dominating everybody else.

[Colonel Flagg]

And that wins the award for post of the year intended for an audience of one :lol

And I'm glad the "one" appreciated it. :rock

[Colonel Flagg]

'Tadao is clearly the alpha male here ...'

I think Pub should have something to say about that. :eek

[Colonel Flagg]

I['m] more or less chuckling at the thought of not making the "female" list.

You make my list, for what that's worth.

[MarioRPG]

Who do we think would win in a real life fight to become i-mockery alpha male?

Well, considering there's a substantial percentage of basement-dwellers... It'd be a pretty lop sided match.
But we all know the real alpha male
willie

[Grislygus]

I WOULD be all smug about these IRL alpha male shenanigans if it weren't for the fact that Chojin is well on his way to being @#$!ing ripped like Hugh Jackman

[Grislygus]

I'D BACK WILLIE UP, THOUGH

HIT CHOJIN WITH A 2 x 4 SPLATTERHOUSE STYLE WHEN HE WASN'T LOOKING, SEE IF THAT WORKED

[Zhukov]

I may be wiry but I have a very high pain threshold. I think it would be between Chojin and 10k though.

[MLE]

Who do we think would win in a real life fight to become i-mockery alpha male?

helm

[Esuohlim]

I need to clear things up a bit to say I'm not exactly jealous, more or less chuckling at the thought of not making the "female" list. Whether it was the actual thought or just the argument's-sake thought.

THIS FORUM DOES NEED MORE FEMALE MIND GAMES

[Fathom Zero]

BbMY-TMMOMQ

[Tadao]

Look at you little girls, all gossiping about who is the alpha male. :rolleyes

[Fathom Zero]

I'll throw my hat in the ring, in case you're feeling lonely.

[Grislygus]

WHU-OH, Auntie Tadao has the rolling pin ready

[Zhukov]

helm

Oh yeah.

[MLE]

i win

[King Hadas]

Flattery won't get Helm posting here again.

[Esuohlim]

Look at you little girls, all gossiping about who is the alpha male. :rolleyes

I AM AT THE VERY LEAST THE LAMBDA MALE

[Tadao]

You are easily more of a man than these Nancy's.

[Zhukov]

Throwing bait so obvious it's got sinkers attached, Tadao clearly out to prove his nonchalant claim to the rank of 'alpha male'.

[Tadao]

Oh yeah, that's what I'm doing. :rolleyes

You little pussies can go back to talking about which man is better than you.

[Zhukov]

It's jokes. You're taking it seriously and getting riled up because you ACTUALLY think you are better than everyone :lol

[Grislygus]

I told you guys to hush, it's Aunt Tadima's time of the month

[Tadao]

Oh god, you're another GW aren't you. You really think I take it seriously? Wow. That's pretty gay. I really don't know how to respond to you now.

[Tadao]

Gus, dude calm down. I was only joking. Don't get all serious on me. :(

[Tadao]

OH OH, I'M DEFLECTING BECAUSE I REALLY CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF ME :(

[Grislygus]

I'm always completely serious about everything and am offended that you would somehow imply that you felt that I wasn't at some point in time DICKBAG

[Fathom Zero]

I made a bratwurst, chicken, and mashed potato sandwich and fuck if that wasn't the greatest sandwich ever.

[Esuohlim]

No way fucker mine is the alpha sandwich

[executioneer]

i cant believe we had a "whose the baddest dude" conversation and j tithonius pednaud didnt get brought up yet

dude looked like a truck with a tophat on

[Fathom Zero]

coz you only eat dick sandwiches

bonnnnnnnnng

[Fathom Zero]

JT Pednaud has the life I want to have and I strive everyday to try and make mine a tenth as interesting as his.

[The Retro Kat]

Mine's gonna be a knuckle sandwich if you knuckleheads don't keep it down!

[Esuohlim]

:eek No fucking way :eek

[Fathom Zero]

I KNOW RITE :O

[Esuohlim]

Hey Retro Kat did you bring Emu and ScruU2wice back with you, you big fairy >:

[Esuohlim]

Emu's last activity: April 12th 2011 (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/member.php?u=1638) :eek

[Esuohlim]

ScruU2wice's last activity: March 24th 2009 (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/member.php?u=1101) :(

[Zhukov]

i cant believe we had a "whose the baddest dude" conversation and j tithonius pednaud didnt get brought up yet

dude looked like a truck with a tophat on

I keep forgetting the heavyweights. The internet isn't full of pale slivers, as I once thought.

Oh god, you're another GW aren't you. You really think I take it seriously? Wow. That's pretty gay. I really don't know how to respond to you now.

I can tell you're throwing jokes, but that doesn't mean the aloofness is real. Are we going to have a 'whose taking it less seriously' argument? At a glance you've got more posts/words/smiley faces, so I'm the more laid back.

[Guitar Woman]

Yeah, Tadao may not be a serious jerk, but he's still a jerk.

[executioneer]

Hey Retro Kat did you bring Emu and ScruU2wice back with you, you big fairy >:
WHAT ABOUT RONGI AND ARROWX

wait no just rongi lol :mean

[Grislygus]

Didn't Rongi get banned or something

Over spectacularly gay-ass shit

[executioneer]

because he gave arrowx his password :(

[Grislygus]

And as much as I hate to directly say anything on the internet, I really ddoubt Tadao gives a shit about serious business

Man this is like a personal fag day for me or something, making actual contributions to conversations all over the place

[Grislygus]

I thought he was mad about the new forum layout and threw a temper tantrum about Chojin forcibly teabagging him

[executioneer]

and then he gave his pw to arrowx because he felt that was the worst thing he could do, being an mod and all

[Zhukov]

And as much as I hate to directly say anything on the internet, I really ddoubt Tadao gives a shit about serious business


I doubt he gives as shit about much these days, but trying to get a rise out of people isn't half obvious as proving how tough he is. I don't care that he does it, I like scoffing at everything GW does too, just don't pretend you're not doing it.

On I-MOCKERY.

Throw something better at me than GAY.

[Chojin]

i had demodded rongi for not ever logging in or doing anything, so he gave his password to that fatty in retaliation or tardrage or something, thereby making me ban him.

[executioneer]

oh i didnt know he got demodded whoop[s

[Guitar Woman]

I still hang with ArrowX on some other forum. Bit annoying, not really a bad guy. He's kind of my own little Guitar Woman, biting my ankles and desperately striving for approval.

Also whenever the weeklies get updated you can presumably go and initiate further scoffing at the sexy and exciting realization of my middle-school dream of writing something on I-Mockery, although I wouldn't blame the brass for not posting it. It's horrible, really the worst thing to happen to the written word since My Immortal.

[King Hadas]

Rongi was a mod? I don't remember that. In fact I was under the impression Rongi wasn't well liked around here.

[Tadao]

I doubt he gives as shit about much these days, but trying to get a rise out of people isn't half obvious as proving how tough he is. I don't care that he does it, I like scoffing at everything GW does too, just don't pretend you're not doing it.

On I-MOCKERY.

Throw something better at me than GAY.

That's the thing. I'm not pretending. I really do think that a bunch of guys talking about who is the alpha male is has to be the gayest thing ever. I will try in the future to not be more of a man than you. I know you like to keep me just so in my pigeon hole and will try harder to be exactly as you percieve me to be. Try to remeber though, when a person is acting like a little homosexual, I will useally call them gay.

[Tadao]

Yeah, Tadao may not be a serious jerk, but he's still a jerk.

Pure and simple.

[Guitar Woman]

also thanks whoever restored my ability to go back and put a bunch of dick jokes into my posts

[Zhukov]

That's the thing. I'm not pretending. I really do think that a bunch of guys talking about who is the alpha male is has to be the gayest thing ever. I will try in the future to not be more of a man than you. I know you like to keep me just so in my pigeon hole and will try harder to be exactly as you percieve me to be. Try to remeber though, when a person is acting like a little homosexual, I will useally call them gay.

So you call me out for thinking you were being serious... then you tell me you are being serious... about how much you think other people being serious (whilst really just joking) about something is gay. OH OH, were you just saying that to prove how much of a bitch I am? NICE STYLE.

I think I'll just take it as Tadao trying to push buttons in a rather boring way again; because that's how you are acting.

[elx]

oh man, I hope you guys start updating your respective loveline threads again, that stuff is so funny :(

[Esuohlim]

Also whenever the weeklies get updated you can presumably go and initiate further scoffing at the sexy and exciting realization of my middle-school dream of writing something on I-Mockery

I've only written two Weeklies but I like doing them because they only take ten minutes (and it shows), but then there's people like Ex Leper who are "practicing their writing for a few months" before even considering trying to write a Weekly.

[Tadao]

OH NO, I FOUND OUT THAT I CAN'T THINK YOU GUYS ARE ACTING GAY. SO MANY RULES HERE AT I-MOCKERY. GLAD ZMAN IS HERE TO TELL ME HOW I NEED TO FEEL ABOUT THINGS AND STUFF. HE MAKES A GREAT NAZI.

[Esuohlim]

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't ever think I'm acting gay.

I'm about as gay as it gets, man. Fuck.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

It takes me forever to write weeklies because anytime I go online at home I get sucked into cam4 too.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't ever think I'm acting gay.

I'm about as gay as it gets, man. Fuck.

It gets manfuck all up in here.

[Seven Force]

Didn't you all run him off the boards making fun of his dead dad?

[Chojin]

wait, you guys visit the site?

[Tadao]

I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GROW UP, SOME GUY I DON'T KNOW IS TIRED OF MY WEAK ATTEMPTS AT PUSHING PEOPLES BUTTONS. MAYBE HE WILL LIKE ME ONE DAY AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT GROWN UP THINGS.

[Kitsa]

1pKXMcfx1d8

[Tadao]

THINGS LIKE WHICH IS MY FAVORITE ROCKET LAUNCHER AND HOW COOL GRAFITTI IS.

[Zhukov]

Actually I just said that you were boring and unfunny, and that despite your protests it's obvious you are trying to push buttons. I guess it's time to grow up.


No, wait, not grow up; I meant it's time to become more witty.


OH OH TDAO IS ASIAN AND HAS BACK PROBLEMS. AM I BEING SCATHING ENOUGH? I GUESS I NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME ON THE INTERNET LIKE HE DOES TO BECOME COOL. IS TYPING IN CAPS WHILE BEING OBVIOUSLY SARCASTIC STILL A VIABLE FORM OF HUMOUR? SHOULD I ADD MORE SPELLING MISTAKES?

[Chojin]

MOCK WARRRR

[Fathom Zero]

http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/5482/becomeababybanner.jpg

[Zhukov]

I can do rap battle instead.

[All Hail Duke]

that baby face is haunting

[elx]

edit: nevermind that's too insensitive :(
edit: nevermind you can't have a giant unicorn goat either

don't take away my button please :(

[Seven Force]

http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/5482/becomeababybanner.jpg

Can I have Bruce Willis do my voice over? It's a deal-breaker for me.

[Guitar Woman]

Jeeze, did someone summon every 2004 regular from their filthy caves strewn with bleached piles of bones

[Tadao]

OH GOD, ZMAN CALLED ME BORING AND UNFUNNY, THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING. I SHALL TAKE "STICK IN THE MUD" CLASSES RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET DOESN'T APROVE.

[Tadao]

THE REWARD IS GREATEST WHEN SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO BE FUNNY TELLS YOU THAT YOU AREN'T FUNNY. LIKE THEIR WORDS MEAN SOMETHING.

[Esuohlim]

Wow, sounds like that bitch needs a shiner.

:eek :eek

[Colonel Flagg]

THE REWARD IS GREATEST WHEN SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO BE FUNNY TELLS YOU THAT YOU AREN'T FUNNY. LIKE THEIR WORDS MEAN SOMETHING.

IT'S NOT FUNNY!! :explode

[Tadao]

It's like a ****** telling me I can't swim.

[Tadao]

DID YOU KNOW THAT TYPING IN CAPS CAN ANNOY PEOPLE, I DIDN'T KNOW THIS. I GUESS I SHOULD NEVER DO THIS ANYMORE, JUST INCASE IT ANNOYS SOME GUY I DON'T CARE ABOUT.

[Guitar Woman]

Did you know that derailing other threads to pick fights with people is pretty annoying too?

[Chojin]

agreed

[Grislygus]

I'm assuming that you don't mean derailing the CHAT THREAD, since that's impossilbe

[MLE]

I don't think you can derail the chat thread though.

[MLE]

JINX

[Grislygus]

JINX

[Grislygus]

NO WAY

[Grislygus]

Wai,t you did that two minutes before me n/m


And here I was, squealing and flapping my hands in excitement

[ItalianStereotype]

We're all a bunch of autistic assholes, of course every thread gets derailed.

[MLE]

Mail me a coke

[MLE]

BOTH OF YOU

[ItalianStereotype]

what's your address

[ItalianStereotype]

do you want this coke or not?

[MLE]

i'll see if i can find your phone number and text it to you

[ItalianStereotype]

I don't have a phone anymore

[MLE]

done!

[MLE]

what. someone better not have your old number

[ItalianStereotype]

I don't know, probably some beaner.

[ItalianStereotype]

I'm gonna text my old number and tell him you're a white girl too

[MLE]

you better not you ass

[ItalianStereotype]

how am I going to text with no phone

[ItalianStereotype]

I don't think you really want this coke

[ItalianStereotype]

Alright, guess I'll be back in like three months

[Chojin]

you should post here more often, if only so i can look at that avatar more often

[Pentegarn]

IT'S NOT FUNNY!! :explode

I feel like some sort of code master reading messages only I truly understand when you post in the chat thread Colonel :lol

[zeldasbiggestfan]

I was gonna say something about being an alpha male.

I guess I'm just not alpha enough to be Mr Big Dick Swingin'.:(

[zeldasbiggestfan]

What.

[LordSappington]

Wait, was this the guy who kept dicking up the threads a while back? Or was that some other Zelda fanboy?

[Esuohlim]

I DUNNO MAN

[Zhukov]

This is the one that probably has a massive head, and also feeds chocolate to dogs.

[Esuohlim]

What is everyone's obsession with internet memes? I can't stand them, and it frustrates me that everyone finds them funny when I find them obnoxious :(

Even GW loves internet memes and that guy is pretentious as fuck!