I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Fathom Zero]

Tadao, if sexual favors are what it takes to make it up to you for giving you a hard time, I'm willing to do anything.

[Pub Lover]

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/pagebrak4eva.jpg

[Pub Lover]

I've been going through Danny's home videos.:eek

[Pub Lover]

1cmOCl3AAcs

[Kitsa]

Congrats 10k. Its not really as hard as people make it out to be.

Your kid turn 1 yet Kitsa? Shouldnt she be sometime around now?

Yep, she turns 1 on Wednesday. You're good!

[Tadao]

I've been going through Danny's home videos.:eek

Danny sent me a torrent once.

ONCE

[Pub Lover]

No wonder you were raided by the rozzers. :eek

[Zhukov]

Tadao, if sexual favors are what it takes to make it up to you for giving you a hard time, I'm willing to do anything.

Aren't you like 16?

[Babs]

Who's dick am I going to suck to get a little respect here?

[Pub Lover]

Aren't you like 16?

You're right. Dylan is a little old for the big T. :eek

[Pub Lover]

Who's dick am I going to suck to get a little respect here?

Send me a picture of your dick & I'll respect you. :yum

[Fathom Zero]

You're right. Dylan is a little old for the big T. :eek

;)

[Babs]

It's that simple? Just a dick pic?

[Tadao]

Yep

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Thanks guys. She's adorable as fuck

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c375/Locke9999/IMG_20110121_120843.jpg

We had to use artificial insemination actually because my dong was too big to fit in my girlfriends giner.

[kahljorn]

:O

[Tadao]

:eek

[Fathom Zero]

d'awwww babies are so mexican looking

[Babs]

Congratulations Bill! Not to many people are confident enough to show their babies off here at I-mockery.

[stevetothepast]

congrats on the new addition bill

[Kitsa]

She's beautiful! It'll be a rough couple of weeks but then it's all (mostly) good.

[Sam]

I can't wait for her to be 18, Bill.

[Phoenix Gamma]

I used to work at a retail store. A few weeks ago, I found a $5 gift card on the floor and used it to buy a snack.

Today I got fired for it. Apparently that's "gross misconduct."
The meeting didn't even last a whole minute. Gave me an envelope of cash and escorted me off the premises. I worked there for 3 years :(

I was finally gonna move out of my parent's house really soon too. I don't have it in me to tell them yet, but my old man offered to pay for my car repairs tomorrow and gave me this "I love you, son" talk.

Cue anxiety attack. And tons of job applications. :\

[Tadao]

For future reference. If you find money on the ground where you work, you have to turn it in to lost and found and wait like 90 days before you can claim it.

[Dimnos]

Congrats Bill. She has your forehead. :lol

[Dimnos]

:pagebrak

For future reference. If you find money on the ground where you work, you have to turn it in to lost and found and wait like 90 days before you can claim it.

:lol

[Zhukov]

I used to work at a retail store. A few weeks ago, I found a $5 gift card on the floor and used it to buy a snack.

Today I got fired for it. Apparently that's "gross misconduct."
The meeting didn't even last a whole minute. Gave me an envelope of cash and escorted me off the premises. I worked there for 3 years :(

I was finally gonna move out of my parent's house really soon too. I don't have it in me to tell them yet, but my old man offered to pay for my car repairs tomorrow and gave me this "I love you, son" talk.

Cue anxiety attack. And tons of job applications. :\

Wow, that sucks so badly. I take it you're not in a union.

[kahljorn]

:lol yea you might as well have stolen it from a customer

next time LAUNDER IT

[Phoenix Gamma]

Wow, that sucks so badly. I take it you're not in a union.
Nah. They actually have a segment in the training video that specifically discourages against unions for like 10 minutes.

Put in 9 job applications last night. Was gonna do more today after dropping my car off at the mechanic, but it's below freezing :\ I can at least do a follow-up call to an old application from a week ago. Maybe check Craigslist or something.

Never got fired before, actually. I was gonna make a scene, but I remembered I'd probably need those jerks for when I list my job experience on applications. :explode

[Zhukov]

Nah. They actually have a segment in the training video that specifically discourages against unions for like 10 minutes.


Well I hope not being in a union works out for you.

[Pub Lover]

Thanks guys. She's adorable as fuck

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c375/Locke9999/IMG_20110121_120843.jpg

We had to use artificial insemination actually because my dong was too big to fit in my girlfriends giner.

I've got the irresistible urge to bite it's eye.
..

[Fathom Zero]

The thing is, they don't want you to start a union until you do, then they have to deal with you. If everybody in the entire store quit and formed a union, it'd work. But nobody's got the will to these days and all the existing unions are filled with crooked fucks.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Yea, I don't really think it was a viable option for some part time cashier like me.

Ah well. My old roommate said he could get me a job at some place googling things for people who need information. Pay's crazy good. He's been doing it for awhile and he was in the same boat as me. It's a 30 minute drive from my house, but it's work, and it's better work than what I've done for the past 5 years.

[Tadao]

Can't you google from home? :eek

[Phoenix Gamma]

I think I need to be on the phone with clients. So they record it or something in their office, probably log what I look up so they make sure I'm not watching Buttsluts Go Nuts or whatever. It's close to double my last hourly rate, though, so I'll drive a little extra.

On an unrelated note, I was worried my dick my fall off today after walking in -2 degree weather for two hours. I don't think any part of me has ever been that cold before. All the condensation from my breath froze my facial hair too :( "Global warming" my ass >:

[LordSappington]

So, after going to several doctors who didn't seem to really give many shits (my regular doctor has been out on vacation), the general consensus is that I have some sort of problem with my inner ear, and as far as they're concerned, my weight loss is unrelated.
I might have inherited my mother's vertigo problems, but while hers were abrupt, left her too dizzy to move without falling, and lasted an hour or so, mine feels like I decided to spin around in circles for a little while, and has lasted almost two weeks now. The doctors say that it can last a few days, or a few weeks, or even a few months. Fuuuu-

[kahljorn]

Sounds like a bullshit job, Phoenix Gamma.

but that's just my opinion. Good luck!

[Tadao]

My gal had a bad vertigo problem. An acupuncturist gave her some Chinese voodoo herbs to take and she got better. The Docs couldn't help her either.

[LordSappington]

My gal had a bad vertigo problem. An acupuncturist gave her some Chinese voodoo herbs to take and she got better. The Docs couldn't help her either.
My mom eventually had to have a nerve in her ear clipped to solve it. ope mine doesn't get that bad. :\

[kahljorn]

hmm. you could try running a search for, "Vertigo TCM"

or actually traditional chinese medicines hella complicated so maybe you should just find one in town :O lol

http://www.yinyanghouse.com/treatments/acupuncture_for_dizziness_vertigo

TELL ME YOUR SYMPTOMS AND HOW YOU FEEL AND ILL TRY TO DIAGNOSE YOU ACCORDING TO TRADITIONAL CHINESE MEDICINE :O

IS THIS A CHRONIC FEELING THAT IS CONSTANTLY THERE OR IS IT SOMETHING THAT COMES AND GOES? DOES YOUR HEAD FEEL STUFFY WHEN YOU GET VERTIGO? DOES YOUR HEAD FEEL STUFFY IN GENERAL? BESIDES LOSING WEIGHT WHAT OTHER PROBLEMS DO YOU HAVE? ANY PAIN IN ANY INTERNAL ORGANS? WHAT KIND OF DIET DO YOU HAVE?

OH WAIT YOU SAID A PROBLEM WITH THE INNER EAR. DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SUFFERING HEARING LOSS? DO YOU HEAR S OUNDS LIKE, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP WHEN YOU GET VERTIGO?

[executioneer]

My old roommate said he could get me a job at some place googling things for people who need information. Pay's crazy good.

um can i get this job also

[Fathom Zero]

i have tinnitus ;_;

[kahljorn]

http://www.itmonline.org/arts/tinmen.htm

:(

THERES ALSO THIS THING CALLED MENIIERS DISeASE THATS LIKE A COMBINITION OF TINNITUS AND VERTIGO :O:O:O

MY PRELIMINARY DIAGNOSIS KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT YOU IS THAT YOUR PROBLEM IS PROLLY CAUSed by yOU BEING TOO WATERY! TRY TO EAT SOME SPICY OR ASTRINGENT FOODS (OCCASIONALLY, NOT TOO MUCH OR YOU COULD GET ANOTHER IMBALANCE. ACTUALLY THE BEST THING WOULD BE ASTRINGENT TYPE FOODS PROBABLY: thIngS THAT ABSORB WATER FROM YOUR BODY SUCH AS BEANS AND RAW FRUITS AND VEGETABLES; WHEN I GET HOME I CAN FIND OUT WHICH TCM THINGS tAKE WATER OUT OF THE BODY) AND NOT GREASY MOIST SUGARY FOODS. AND GET SOME REST! BASICALLY THINK OF IT LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE A COLD AND NEED TO GET ALL THE SNOT OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
IN FACT PERHAPS YOUR WEIGHT LOSS COULD BE ATTRIBUTED TO THIS! YOUR BODY IS tRYING TO FLUSH FLUIDS OUT OF YOUR BODY, THUS CAUSING YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT! haha i dunno.

TRADITIONAL KAHLJORN MEDICINE

[Babs]

Surgery tomorrow for me, my intestines will be out on a table for approximately 1 hour. Nothing like the scare of ulcerative colitis/crohn's.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Sounds like a bullshit job, Phoenix Gamma.

but that's just my opinion. Good luck!
Oh I'd agree, but my ex-roommate's been with them for over a year. We went to the same school, had the same major, etc. and he's been able to sustain himself. And I'm sure it involves more than google :lol

[Tadao]

Surgery tomorrow for me, my intestines will be out on a table for approximately 1 hour. Nothing like the scare of ulcerative colitis/crohn's.

You can here to spill your guts? :puke

[Babs]

I came here to drain my nuts :wank

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

um can i get this job also

Like working at Cha Cha.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Congrats Bill. She has your foreFIVEhead. :lol

fixed

[Babs]

According to Cha Cha, I-mockery has the saddest public suicide notes.

http://www.chacha.com/question/what-is-the-saddest-public-suicide-note-ever-written

I mean I guess it's not really to far fetched to believe.

[Tadao]

BABS, STOP MAKING ME HATE YOU.

http://www.i-mockery.com/goth/suicide.htm

[Immortal Goat]

Does everyone here have babies now except me?

[kahljorn]

I KNOW Me TADAO AND CHOJIN DONT HAVE BABIES CAUSE WERE AWESOME

[executioneer]

babies, more like GAYbies

[Esuohlim]

Does everyone here have rabies now except me?

[Tadao]

If I wanted a baby, I would just kidnap one. I hear they are worth more money that way.

[Babs]

Take the elizabeth smart route, why have a baby when you can have a preteen who can wipe it's own ass and obey your every order.

[Otto]

I had a baby, but he don't move too much no more.

[Immortal Goat]

I KNOW Me TADAO AND CHOJIN DONT HAVE BABIES CAUSE WERE AWESOME

SO SINCE I DON'T HAVE BABIES DOES THAT MAKE ME AWESOME TOO

[Pub Lover]

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/pagebrak4eva.jpg

[Tadao]

OOOPS

[Immortal Goat]

Looks like you Brak'd a little early but don't worry it happens to the best of us it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

[Pub Lover]

Tadao misses the Brak on purpose because he loves seeing Dylan with his shirt off. :eek

[Immortal Goat]

Is it wrong that I miss the days when we had people like OaO, Kulturkampf, and Vince to poke fun at? I've been away too long, who are the new punching-bags?

[Zhukov]

There are no good ones. Just Babs who is rubbish.

[Immortal Goat]

Why does this depress me so much? We need to find the people I mentioned and get them back into the mix over here.

[Babs]

I honestly don't know why you all pretty much loathe me. I can't be on here all the time to try and impress you all one by one.

[Zhukov]

I think the interesting thing is that everyone has their own personal, and only slightly justifiable, reasoning.

[Babs]

In which I'm still in the dark about. Two years and it still hasn't changed. The consistency is applaudable but the befuddlement as to why is even more astounding.

[Fathom Zero]

I miss Rankeri. He needs to stop getting his doctorate and miami vice, fuck yeah

[Zhukov]

In which I'm still in the dark about. Two years and it still hasn't changed. The consistency is applaudable but the befuddlement as to why is even more astounding.

Pretty much because you looked 90% of this post up in spell check.


I remember when everyone used to hate Rankeri, and then he stuck around long enough for people to not mind him, and then he left. Like that was all he set out to achieve; not be hated.

I think I'm neutral to most people, which is poor effort after so many years.

[Kitsa]

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/finland.jpg

[Babs]

Pretty much because you looked 90% of this post up in spell check.


I remember when everyone used to hate Rankeri, and then he stuck around long enough for people to not mind him, and then he left. Like that was all he set out to achieve; not be hated.

I think I'm neutral to most people, which is poor effort after so many years.

Yeah I know it's hard to believe a person as myself went to college for a prolonged period to achieve a degree. Spell check my ass.

[Tadao]

Spellchecker is automatic in Firefox.

[Esuohlim]

I remember when everyone used to hate Rankeri, and then he stuck around long enough for people to not mind him, and then he left. Like that was all he set out to achieve; not be hated.

Rankeri is one of the rare cases where someone I absolutely hated at the beginning turned out to be pretty cool.

Babs is ok in my book! We occasionally chat it up over PM and he's a pretty level-headed, intelligent dude! And that was after 20 back-and-forth PMs of passive-aggressive sarcasm to feel each other out first.

[executioneer]

i'm not feeling anyone out, via PM or otherwise :x

[Tadao]

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/pagebrak4eva.jpg

[Babs]

missed the brak but it's all good. Surgery went well today, just felling a little loopy now from the anesthesia.

edit: my dick is numb

[Tadao]

YOU DON'T EVEN GET WHY I BRAKED THAT PIC, YOU'LL NEVER LEARN. FUCKING HELL.

[Fathom Zero]

i'll brak your mother

[Fathom Zero]

This thread's all weird for me. I'm suddenly missing a page that I can never get back to.

[Tadao]

Oh noes!

[Seven Force]

Blinded by the light

[Kitsa]

I feel guilty for ever making that picture.

In other news, I was googling ideas for my kid's first birthday tomorrow. One particularly out-of-touch party planner suggests the following idea for winter babies: make all of the party guests help you plant a "winter garden" outside, with holly and crocus (which I think are supposed to be planted in the fall) etc. Yes, during the party. Then when they come back subsequent years they can check on the progress of the garden they all helped plant on the baby's first birthday.

Of all the idiot ideas. Sounds like an excellent way to ensure that no one comes back for the 2nd.

Guess what's never happening.

[kahljorn]

I have a love hate relationship with that picture. On the one hand, its kind of funny that when people walk through the room they shudder. On the other hand, it makes me shudder.

[Sam]

MILHOUSE BACKWARDS NEVER SENDS ME PMs :(

[Pub Lover]

You never sent him those nudes of D4B. :eek

[Pub Lover]

FJRQo5aawho

[Zhukov]

I feel guilty for ever making that picture.

In other news, I was googling ideas for my kid's first birthday tomorrow. One particularly out-of-touch party planner suggests the following idea for winter babies: make all of the party guests help you plant a "winter garden" outside, with holly and crocus (which I think are supposed to be planted in the fall) etc. Yes, during the party. Then when they come back subsequent years they can check on the progress of the garden they all helped plant on the baby's first birthday.

Of all the idiot ideas. Sounds like an excellent way to ensure that no one comes back for the 2nd.

Guess what's never happening.

That's so embarrassingly dumb.

[captain516]

Hello everybody, I must be going.

[Esuohlim]

Dude I didn't know Jack LaLanne was capable of dying

[Fathom Zero]

All those years of exercise and juicing vegetables and he dies before a hundred. It don't do shit.

[Kitsa]

Just now back from my kid's first birthday party. I feel absolutely shitty without being able to put a finger on precisely why.

I think it's in part because my dad said things like "keep it moving, get the gifts unwrapped" and other impatient-with-proceedings phrases, and as a result I felt like I was scrambling from gifts to cake to cleanup without anything really sinking in or being enjoyed (at least by me).

Then Mr. Kitsa had a lot to say about how grateful I should be that everyone (including and especially himself) had done me this big favor by showing up, and although I am grateful I also paid for dinner and alcohol at a nice restaurant so I don't feel that people were really 100% put-out by coming.

I guess parties just ultimately end up being a big letdown, nature of the beast. I would have held up a lot better if certain parties had kept their mouths shut.

[Pentegarn]

Just drop those same phrases at the things they insist you show up at. Then, if they get pissy about the comments, drop a "I did you a favor by coming" right back on them

[Zhukov]

You had alcohol at a child's birthday?

[kahljorn]

next time just do something cool with your kid and tell everyone else to wait for their birthdays :lol

they should be glad the party wasn't a bunch of kids and some pizza at your house ;/

[Kitsa]

You had alcohol at a child's birthday?


Well, the child didn't have any. We chose a restaurant we frequent, where they make a huge deal out of birthdays. It was 10 adults and the kid, because all of her same-age cousins were too far away to attend. She's only 1 so I doubt she cares. The restaurant makes incredible margaritas, so many of the adults had one. Then after we ate all the waiters came out carrying a giant sundae, slapped a sombrero on her head, and sang their restaurant's birthday song in Spanish. She loved the attention.

Then we came home where I'd made a giant cake in the shape of a 1 and had wine and sparkling grape juice if anyone wanted it.

[executioneer]

You had alcohol at a child's birthday?

after we ate all the waiters

:eek

[Babs]

Mr. Kitsa did you a big favor by showing up at his own child's first birthday?

[Esuohlim]

Mr. Kitsa sounds like a catch!

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

If it was me, I would only spend as much time at my kids party as it took to create them.

[Kitsa]

idk, I feel slightly less bitchy about it today but at the time I just wished everyone would shut the fuck up and let the kid have her party. She probably enjoyed it plenty either way.

[Zhukov]

:pagebrak

If it was me, I would only spend as much time at my kids party as it took to create them.

So an epic 7 hour tantric birthday bash?

[elx]

wow. grown up vitamins are terrible! how do you guys do it!? they're huge and they taste like chalk. are we allowed to crush them up or let them dissolve in pudding or something? :( will they be just as effective?

please write a blog post on the subject matter, almighty health guru chojin

[elx]

also congratulations on finally being able to grow facial hair milhouse

[elx]

and happy birthday baby kitsa!

[Zhukov]

You just swallow them without chewing.

[elx]

they're too big

[Pub Lover]

Gentlemen, Miss Elx is in need of a lesson on how to fit large objects in her mouth without choking. :posh

[elx]

i have vampire teeth

[elx]

pubby, now that i'm your new jeanettex i feel as though i deserve a more mature avatar. please upgrade me appropriately. the colors on this one make my posts seem doubly more annoying.

[Zhukov]

they're too big

What are they, the size of a fist?

[Pub Lover]

i have vampire teeth

As long as you don't sparkle; I find that very hot. :eek :yum :orgasm

[Pub Lover]

Seriously, tell me you have vagina dentata & I'll try and marry you. :eek

[Pub Lover]

Vagina Dentata, what a wonderful phrase.
Vagina Dentata, ain't no passin' craze.

fuck now i keep singing Hakunamatata.

screw you sethomas.

..

[Pub Lover]

I miss Seth & Kahl. Those chaps should come back. :eek

[Pub Lover]

pubby, now that i'm your new jeanettex i feel as though i deserve a more mature avatar. please upgrade me appropriately. the colors on this one make my posts seem doubly more annoying.

And here was me going to suggest this valentines day theme avatar for you.

http://www.vectorstock.com/assets/preview/108244/pink-love-elephant-vector.jpg

[Pub Lover]

Plus you don't want to be compared with Jeanette. She is crazy. :eek

[Pub Lover]

More so even than the loopy poop stuff she posts on here. :eek

[Pub Lover]

Loopy Poop. :eek

[Pub Lover]

So I'm thinking Carl Sagan as I can't find one I like of Brian Cox. :eek

[Pub Lover]

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MlikCebQSlY/0.jpg

[captain516]

Stephen Hawking looked waaaay different when he was younger

[Fathom Zero]

Time marches on
Blink, then it's gone
Make no mistake
It's vanishing

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Just now back from my kid's first birthday party. I feel absolutely shitty without being able to put a finger on precisely why.

I think it's in part because my dad said things like "keep it moving, get the gifts unwrapped" and other impatient-with-proceedings phrases, and as a result I felt like I was scrambling from gifts to cake to cleanup without anything really sinking in or being enjoyed (at least by me).

Then Mr. Kitsa had a lot to say about how grateful I should be that everyone (including and especially himself) had done me this big favor by showing up, and although I am grateful I also paid for dinner and alcohol at a nice restaurant so I don't feel that people were really 100% put-out by coming.

I guess parties just ultimately end up being a big letdown, nature of the beast. I would have held up a lot better if certain parties had kept their mouths shut.


Happy Baby Birthday day a few days ago :)

[Pub Lover]

:pagebrak

[Esuohlim]

Why are there creepy asian dudes around here with Elmo winter hats and Hello Kitty car seat covers

[Tadao]

It's Hip!

[Zhukov]

So a man at work today asked for my help, and he also happened to have a flaming swastika tattooed on his neck. I basically told him that I wasn't going to talk to him, and also added in a little bit of colourful language. Later on I was told by some bumwad in management, while I proudly told my exaggerated story in the tea room, that we should strive to serve everyone to the best of our abilities no matter their beliefs.


Also, half way through typing that the ice cream van stopped outside my house. First time in the 5 years I've been here.

[Tadao]

I bet he would help a aboriginal. The flaming Swastika probably just means that he thinks Nazis should burn for their hate crimes.

[Zhukov]

His mate had a full half of his face covered with one (Seriously, how do you get a job with this?) and they both had rat tail hair cuts, so I knew he was a racist.

[Babs]

It's okay, over 90% of people with facial tattoo's commit suicide.

[MarioRPG]

Is that really a fact?

[Tadao]

http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site181/2006/0613/20060613_123517_racist.gif

[Zhukov]

WOAH. So they came back today and followed me around at work, then waited outside for me afterwards. What made it worse was that while they were standing outside the front door, other staff were casually chatting to them - am I the only prick with spine/ideals that would tell a nazi to get fucked? Anyway I walked out with a length of stick and they just watched me from their car. No, they didn't follow me home.

[Tadao]

People usually let skinheads scare them. That is their primary weapon. Once they find someone who isn't intimidated by them, they try even harder. They are usually giant pussies who confuse fear with respect.

[Fathom Zero]

Edit: Then again, it's probably a terrible idea in many ways.

[MarioRPG]

I get to see some sort of heart surgery tomorrow :D Gonna be intense. And yes, I've already been told to take some Junior Mints.

[kahljorn]

zhukov i dont know who the bigger racist you or him

his swastica could be the good kind of swastica and he could be all deeply spiritual and just wanting to save people with his swastica of life

[Tadao]

When you see him say "Sup my nigga" and fist bump him. Also wear a Nelson Mandela pin to work. Nazis hate Mandela.

Hey Mario, good luck.

[Dr. Boogie]

WOAH. So they came back today and followed me around at work, then waited outside for me afterwards. What made it worse was that while they were standing outside the front door, other staff were casually chatting to them - am I the only prick with spine/ideals that would tell a nazi to get fucked? Anyway I walked out with a length of stick and they just watched me from their car. No, they didn't follow me home.

Well there's your answer about how someone with a face tattoo finds work: they don't. They just spend all their time stalking people who make fun of their tattoos.

[Zhukov]

I talked to someone who was chatting with them and it turns out they were shopping around for stuff to clean spraypaint off their house. HAHA.

Mario: have fun with your INTENSE surgery Mario. Good luck dude.

[Esuohlim]

My school cancelled class tomorrow for the third time in 150 years for a snowstorm that hasn't even started yet :|

[Tadao]

:lol Onion News had a thing calle Snowpocolypse in which Obama sent massive aid to New Orleans because a tiny bit of snow was expected to fall.

[Kitsa]

It's the snowpocalypse and we're all gonna die.

[Immortal Goat]

It feels like I'm living in Northrend. Maybe not Icecrown Citadel, but at LEAST Borean Tundra (WoWreferencegodIsuck) :(

[LordSappington]

It's currently 20 degrees in Austin, and everyone is flipping the fuck out.

[Tadao]

It's fucking freezing in Los Angeles. High of 62 today. I had to wear a light coat. >:

[Fathom Zero]

lololololol snow lolololol

[Fathom Zero]

http://img573.imageshack.us/img573/9454/hyptnolasercat.gif

It's that time of the year. To seize.

[LordSappington]

I walked to and from the coffee shop we hang out at, which is about four miles away. On my way back, I passed some guy getting his mail, and shivering violently. He asked me what in the world I was doing out in the cold, to which I replied "Chllin'." I feel complete now.

[Tadao]

http://img573.imageshack.us/img573/9454/hyptnolasercat.gif

It's that time of the year. To seize.

Weird, I think your post seized up the chat thread. I can't get to the next page.

[Tadao]

Well that post made it so I could get to this page. Crazy weird dude.

[Fathom Zero]

i'm a wizard

[Zhukov]

I walked to and from the coffee shop we hang out at, which is about four miles away. On my way back, I passed some guy getting his mail, and shivering violently. He asked me what in the world I was doing out in the cold, to which I replied "Chllin'." I feel complete now.

Haha.

The mainland got fucked up today with rain and storm - but it was a really nice day down here. Like, the first time this summer. I think my islands happiness is determined by the misery of the rest of the country.

[MarioRPG]

Tadao, Zhukov: Thanks for the well wishes and yes, it was crazy cool
For everyone’s information, the procedure I saw was a triple bypass with ESVH (endoscopic vein harvesting). Initially I just watched the endoscopic part because it was easier to stay out of the way. To the untrained eye, it basically looked like he was just mashing about in there, clamping random bits of the body while pushing aside layers of fat and whatever else we keep in our legs. The camera quality was quite high, and the doctor did a good job of keeping it clean when he saw any haemorrhages due to his work. Oh, and there is something creepy about seeing light under a person’s skin (for the camera). The most unsettling part was when he pulled the vein out with his fingers from the most proximal incision. It was just a weird site. Following that he sewed up any remaining lacerations to the vein, so it would work for the procedure. Bottom line – endoscope work is amazingly advanced, but it looks like you just blast through layers of whatever.
Heart part: Let me start by saying bone saws are awesome. They also had some sort of cauterizing iron that arced a spark to stop bleeding and instantly scar tissue to keep it from bleeding. Oh, and those vice clamps they use to keep the cavity open? Straight out of Saw. This part of the procedure was immensely complex, and was difficult to see at some points because it was three surgeons working on a hole a bit larger than a deck of cards. They had to arrest the heart and run it through the machine, which they helped slow down quite literally with ice slush. The bypass is quite brilliant, it essentially is placing an artery into a new passage and then closing it shut like a drawstring bag. Suction was also a major part as the pericardial cavity often had started to fill thanks to the proximity and nature of the procedure. Oh and seeing arterial blood is weird, it’s like... Candy red.
Defining moment: When I scrubbed in and poked around inside that guy. After the grafts were in place and VS were stable, I got the experience of my life. Holy shit, there is nothing like holding a man’s beating heart in your hand. The surgeon also placed my hand on the aorta – if only it were always that easy to feel a pulse. Thoughts of Mortal Kombat ran through my mind to close my hand around his heart and scream ‘fatality’ but of course that was in jest. In closing, if you can ever see a surgery, go on and do it.
Tl;dr – I held a heart and i liked it.

[Zhukov]

:lol You arsehole

Defining moment: When I scrubbed in...

I got up to that stage thinking that you were having the surgery done on you. I wouldn't have wished you quite as much well wishes if I had known you were just going to BE THERE. :lol

"Holy shit, this guy is watching the doctor take HIS OWN veins out of his body, and he's not even fussed."

I can't stop laughing. Nice story though.

[MarioRPG]

Hahaha, yeah I sort of got that impression from the post. Should have made that a little more clear earlier on haha

[Fathom Zero]

I was wondering why so many people were wishing you well. :lol

We're not that nice.

[Kitsa]

I used to do the call schedule for the hospital where I worked, and I remember doctors calling me FROM THE MIDDLE OF SURGERIES LIKE THAT to yell at me for messing up the vacation plans they never told me about. I was always imagining some poor guy open on the table for a CABG and thinking, wtf are you yelling at me for when you have someone open on an operating table?!?

[Kitsa]

Second time Queensland has been fucked over in a very short amount of time, right?

Our whole area has been brought to a standstill. Outside, it's like walking on a frozen lake...everything is covered in thick layers of snow and ice. The whole city was shut down yesterday and anyone on the streets other than emergency personnel got ticketed. I don't know what it's going to be like today.

Lake Shore Drive in Chicago had a string of 1,000 cars stranded and abandoned during the worst of it. That's one of the most popular routes in the city, literally steps from downtown. Crazy.

[Colonel Flagg]

Let me start by saying bone saws are awesome.

Did anyone else think of Bone Saw McGraw?

http://www.filmsmarts.com/images/movies/spiderman1/bone-saw-mcgraw.jpg

'cause he's awesome too. :)

[Tadao]

:lol I totally thought you were going in to have your heart worked on. I realized at "Initially I just watched the" that you must be training to be a nurse. THAT'S RIGHT I CALLED YOU A GIRLY MAN.

[Tadao]

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/pagebrak4eva.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

harry naval

[Pub Lover]

UyHzhtARf8M

[Pub Lover]

Fucking magnets, eh? :eek

[Pub Lover]

[Dylan's sexy nipples]

Thank you, T. :eek :wank :yum

[Fathom Zero]

o'reilly is a total loon

[MarioRPG]

Did anyone else think of Bone Saw McGraw?

I'm not 100% but I think he was there too.

[Fathom Zero]

Peter Jackman became England's best-known gurner, winning the world championship four times, beginning in 1998 with a face called the "Bela Lugosi." He had his teeth removed in 2000 to make his features easier to manoeuvre. Three years later, he died playing golf in Spain when a cliff face collapsed underneath him. 'Rubber Faced' Grant Owens then took the vacant crown by performing the unprecedented, and rarely seen, treble gurn. Owens states the reason for this is his extra large bottom lip which he used to be able to nestle polos in when he was a child.

:O

[Dr. Boogie]

UyHzhtARf8M

No love for Phobos or Deimos.

Playing Doom has made me more knowledgeable of our solar system than Bill O'Reilly.

[Pub Lover]

I was getting a blowjob from two girls from Battlestar Galactica :| :| :picklehat

A pair of Eights? :eek

[Pub Lover]

Thirdly, PUB:
Every time in the past three years that I have been in a position to have someone filming me doing a Bo Duke-style hood slide, and REMEMBERED AT THE TIME, I have not cared enough to do so. It is unlikely that this will change in the future.
:(

It is cute that you think of me. :eek

[Pub Lover]

Now show me your dick! :eek

[Pub Lover]

:pagebrak

[Fathom Zero]

howsit going, pub?

[Esuohlim]

A pair of Eights? :eek

A Six and an Eight :eek

I also shot Colonel Tigh in the head. But then he came back >:

[Esuohlim]

http://www.sparkpeople.com/assets/exercises/Lying-Triceps-Lifts.gif

[Fathom Zero]

I had a derealization attack today.

[Zhukov]

You have to change your avatar.

[Esuohlim]

I had a derealization attack today.

The internet (http://www.panic-anxiety.com/depersonalization-derealization) is pretty much telling me that a derealization attack gives you the same symptoms as standing up too fast

[Fathom Zero]

It's like that, but it's existential, too, not just sensory like vertigo or something. It's a sort of anxiety attack, or a lot like jamais vu.

The closest approximation of it is to imagine seeing yourself in the third person or the world shifting like in Jaws when Brody's sitting on the beach.

svEPWBxpYjo

EDIT: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

I don't like that Linden website's definition. :\

[Fathom Zero]

You have to change your avatar.

I'm never changing it now.

[Grislygus]

http://www.sparkpeople.com/assets/exercises/Lying-Triceps-Lifts.gif

Is that a wiry chick or an effeminate dude. I mean, I don't care; I'll fuck it, but it'd be nice to know beforehand.

[Grislygus]

Now show me your dick! :eek

I ALREADY POSTED A PICTURE OF MY BURLY POPEYE FOREARMS FOR YOU DURING THE CENSUS, LESS IS MORE YOU GREEDY MAN

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2011/whywouldidothis.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

lol

[Grislygus]

Pub's going to have wet dreams of being teabagged while titfucking your face now

[kahljorn]

tits and a dream can't fix that mess

[Kitsa]

Holy shit am I tired.

[LordSappington]

I glued my fingers together with fake nail glue. That was my day.

[Fathom Zero]

I want a TR 808

[Tadao]

I watched Puppy Bowl VII

[Fathom Zero]

:D

[Big McLargehuge]

Everything is right in the world as long as i-mockery.net is still the same!

[Tadao]

HEY BIGGY!

[Big McLargehuge]

YES?

[Esuohlim]

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l5eqi92SsL1qccg1ko1_500.jpg

[Big McLargehuge]

Thank you milhouse backwards. I'll let you decide what i do today, fyi we do have an abandoned meat factory in tucson.

[Big McLargehuge]

And i have to be done by 6 to meet up with my Mutants and Masterminds group for an epic final fight.

[Pub Lover]

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/pagebrak4eva.jpg

..

[Tadao]

:yum

[LordSappington]

Sorry to keep posting this, but Jesus Christ, it's been about three or four weeks straight of constant vertigo. Going to an ENT Wednesday; maybe he'll shed some light.

[Esuohlim]

Hey LordSappington I think elx has a crush on you ;) ;)

I AM PLAYING CUPID, WHO'S NEXT?

[Esuohlim]

Just kidding nobody likes any of you losers

[Fathom Zero]

guys i'm totally drunk and watching videos of ronald reagan on youtube and man he can talk like no one's bizzness

[Esuohlim]

Fathom didn't you know that it's against the law to compliment any republican, superficial attributes or otherwise, on any part of the internet that hasn't been properly sanctioned for that kind of behavior?

I once said that George W. Bush had on a nice tie and I was consequently bludgeoned with abuse and threats!

Republicans are faggots. Democrats are faggots. Libertarians are the faggiest faggots.

:politics

[elx]

jesus bananas there's something awesome I want to post but I can't because my internet is being jewish >:

[Tadao]

Pics of your supple 18yo body?

[elx]

yeahhh i'll take off my shirt when a few dozen of you do

[Zhukov]

Ok, I'm down for that. Just need a few more volunteers.

[Kitsa]

jesus bananas there's something awesome I want to post but I can't because my internet is being jewish >:


I really need to sprinkle my conversation with more "goyim" adjectives.

[Tadao]

I was thinking about putting elx's face on Fathom's nekid body, but then the thought police started questioning me about child pornography. I'd hate to see what would happen to someone at work.

[The Leader]

Ok, I'm down for that. Just need a few more volunteers.
Let me get my camera.

[Fathom Zero]

Fathom didn't you know that it's against the law to compliment any republican, superficial attributes or otherwise, on any part of the internet that hasn't been properly sanctioned for that kind of behavior?

I once said that George W. Bush had on a nice tie and I was consequently bludgeoned with abuse and threats!

Republicans are faggots. Democrats are faggots. Libertarians are the faggiest faggots.

:politics

HDRA3XFfDr4

faggiest collection of faggots

[Pub Lover]

yeahhh i'll take off my shirt when a few dozen of you do

T, D & I have done this already. I'd repost but I'd likely get my nipples pasted over my eyes. :eek

[Pub Lover]

Plus I still have pics of my dick up for grabs for anyone that wants to join the three chaps here that have already had the pleasure. PM me. :eek

[Pub Lover]

Send your address if you want me to gift you the needed magnifying glass. :eek

[Tadao]

T, D & I have done this already. I'd repost but I'd likely get my nipples pasted over my eyes. :eek

I was gonna say the exact same thing. I started looking for the pics but I got called away for something. I think E recently showed his nips too. :eek

[Tadao]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/Human/JC-why.jpg

[elx]

i was kidding, there's no way i'd encroach upon FZ's territory in this thread :(

[elx]

nobody here should lose their virtuous modesty like he so easily abandoned

[Colonel Flagg]

There's a bat in my house, and I can't capture it to put it outside. Damned thing is hiding in the rafters. Asian custom indicates this is a sign of good luck - I say Phooey.

[Tadao]

Have you tried not taking acid?

[elx]

http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/3812/feb17.jpg
this is what it will look like after it devours your family

[Fathom Zero]

he looks like he has a mouth full of peanuts

[Pub Lover]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/Human/JC-why.jpg

There we go. :picklehat

[Pub Lover]

i was kidding, there's no way i'd encroach upon FZ's territory in this thread :(

nobody here should lose their virtuous modesty like he so easily abandoned

Adorable. :love

[Pub Lover]

he looks like he has a mouth full of peanuts

Bananana? :eek

[Tadao]

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/pagebrak4eva.jpg

[Pub Lover]

Perhaps.

[Grislygus]

Bananana? :eek

That was the first word I ever said. I don't know why I remembered being told that


Have you tried not taking acid?

What the hell kind of game plan is THAT

[Grislygus]

That was the first word I ever said. I don't know why I remembered being told that

Now imagine this creepy, grinning, bugeyed little moonface on an adorable toddler repeating "bananana" over and over

SEE YOU IN YOUR NIGHTMARES :alicecooper

[Tadao]

pedophiles wet dream

[LordSappington]

Went to the ENT; for now, I'm trying some steroids and mainstream Valium.
I start off with 60 mg of Prednisone today and tomorrow, 50mg the next two days, and so on. This is what doctors refer to as the Metric Fuckton of Steroids Therapy.

[Babs]

Last time I went to the ENT, this was the outcome.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v424/LifeInMono/ENTME.jpg

[LordSappington]

I'm wondering if they'll have to cut my skull open and cut out my balance nerve, like my mom did. :\

[Grislygus]

THANKS FOR THE GENES, MA

[Grislygus]

now what you need to do is make sure you drink plenty of alcohol, and pm Pub Lover a pic of you lying helplessly in a hospital bed, complete with bottomless gown.

[Dimnos]

Just dont forget the dick pics too. ;)

[Zhukov]

Most nights it's just me and eustaceki by ourselves. Can you unban it so I wont feel as alone?

Also, if it's banned, how come it's still hanging around? If it's not banned, how come it's not banned?

[MLE]

it's just a spambot. it comes on here so google will see it when the google bot shows up randomly. :themoreyouknow

[Colonel Flagg]

Have you tried not taking acid?

No, but last night ... (wait for it) ... it was gone. COINCIDENCE????

[LordSappington]

Taking my diazepam before classes wasn't a great idea.

[Tadao]

No, but last night ... (wait for it) ... it was gone. COINCIDENCE????

You should build a bat house outside and collect a few more. Bats are awesome bug eaters.

[LordSappington]

I guess then everyone on his street would call him...
That guy who has all the damn bats.
YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH

[kahljorn]

i tried to heal you with my traditional chinese medicine powers but you didn't listen and now you're on steroids which are gonna make your dick shrink and your ass get all big :O :O

[LordSappington]

Hey, all the boys are gonna be after my big ass.

[Tadao]

You probably got vertigo from hitting your head doing all that stupid free running bullshit.