I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Zomboid]

Who told you that? And what did you say, exactly? DID YOU COMMENT ON PICTURES OF HIM AT A MY LITTLE PONY CONVENTION?

[Rongi]

Do people who hate facebook have terrible friends or something?

nah man my friends are cool dudes i just don't really know what the point of fb is! i go on there and i look at status updates and i'm like "welp, this is what people are thinking about today" and then i sign off and later on i think "hey that was a waste of time"

[Esuohlim]

You can keep up with all the fags you hated in high school and feel better about yourself for doing way better than all of them!

And most of my really good friends moved all over the place and it's the only way we consistently stay in touch.

[Fathom Zero]

i inundate my friends with shitty music and alienate my family members

[Kitsa]

The bad thing with me and facebook is that my mother reads everything obsessively and then tells me later what I should or should not have said/opined upon/posted a picture of. It's way more important to her than it is to me.

[Dimnos]

no he deleted the actual haiku

i was proud of it

Can it be recreated here? For those of us untainted by the facy-space.

[Babs]

Is Willie serious about the my little pony shit?

[k0k0]

I am just sucking up the xanax and don't know how I slept without ambien. Fuck the hospital meds get me fucked up. I go to a partial hospitalization class from 9 am to 3 pm every day now and it's funny as shit. I get to argue with a bunch of people who are out of their minds.

[Zhukov]

I'd like to read some inappropriate poems, whatever the topic.


Koko; good to see you back, tell us of your adventures.

[Emu]

I never used my Facebook even though I had it for like 5 years. Then on Tuesday my mom was like "I saw your Facebook picture you need to get a better one!!" and I immediately deleted my account. Christmas stories.

[Kitsa]

It's always great, too, when the people advising you have limited understanding of the internet itself, let alone the intricacies of Facebook. My mother regularly tells me not to mention anything on Facebook that my toddler might find embarrassing as a grownup. Even though I don't really say much, the definition of "embarrassing" is flexible enough to include my mentioning I had a bad day or that she threw a fit in a store.

Will Facebook be around when my toddler is a grownup?

Will anyone care enough to remember that my kid had a meltdown at Famous Footwear?

I'm guessing not.

[Emu]

While there's some truth to the matter that anything posted on the internet never really goes away, that does imply that somebody is looking for it.

[k0k0]

Koko; good to see you back, tell us of your adventures.

It's good to be back in the real world. Although I still wish I was back in the institution. People have told me that's normal after being in there for so long.

Anyways, I'll wait a bit before posting about my time because it'll be a long ass post describing a lot of mental shit. And some mundane shit too. And I just don't have the time at the moment cuz I'm going to an outpatient program every day, all day.

Oh, and I learned origami (asked some nice nurses to download a lot of origami instructions for me) and became 'that guy who does all the crazy origami'. Now I'm addicted to folding.

[Esuohlim]

IF 1000 MONKEYS

TYPED UP 1000 URLS

THEY WOULD ALMOST SURELY EVENTUALLY END UP AT SHAKESPEARE.COM

[Esuohlim]

hi koko :D

[Rongi]

IF 1000 MONKEYS

TYPED UP 1000 URLS

THEY WOULD ALMOST SURELY EVENTUALLY END UP AT SHAKESPEARE.COM

did you get this off memebase or something

[Rongi]

ps memedate is one of the more depressing things i've seen lately

link - http://memedates.cheezburger.com/

[Kitsa]

I'm proud of everyone that no one went for the "one flew over the koko's nest" joke.

Except I guess by mentioning it I sort of did so that would make me disappointed in myself I guess.

Good on you for the origami. I got into it a while back and there's all sorts of cool shit to be made. My favorite paper is the foil-backed kind because it keeps crisp folds and you can press it thinner.

[Colonel Flagg]

Origami has been a guilty pleasure of mine since elementary school. I'm pretty good at it, too, which is strange since I have practically no artistic ability whatsoever. It's probably because its so geometrical and that's like math. :nerd

[Chojin]

Can it be recreated here? For those of us untainted by the facy-space.

rainbow dash lifts tail
dewy moistened pony poon
fap fap fap fap fap

[Esuohlim]

did you get this off memebase or something

I got it from Doug Benson, nigga. Memes are for utter faggots.

[Zhukov]

ps memedate is one of the more depressing things i've seen lately

link - http://memedates.cheezburger.com/

Holy shit. I don't want to think about two fucks like that hooking up. That really is depressing.

[Emu]

finally, i can shout DO IT FAGGOT during sex and my partner will appreciate the humor!!

[Colonel Flagg]

It's the little things in life that you treasure.

[k0k0]

Happy poo year dicks. I'm starting it in a group home. How's that for a great start. I guess I gotta quit fighting it and just take the bullshit life gives. Living in a room with 2 other dudes.

[Emu]

It's the little things in life that you treasure.

(in the middle of fucking)

"I feel like Nyan Cat flying through space!! Finally I am no longer Forever Alone and I can DO IT FAGGOT with mai waifu while admiring DAT ASS! Truly this is a Lemon Party!"

then i kill everybody

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Happy poo year dicks. I'm starting it in a group home. How's that for a great start. I guess I gotta quit fighting it and just take the bullshit life gives. Living in a room with 2 other dudes.

I took this message personally because I took a shit while reading it.

[k0k0]

Were there 2 other dudes watching?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Yeah, we did a triple stacker.

[Colonel Flagg]

"I feel like Nyan Cat flying through space!! Finally I am no longer Forever Alone and I can DO IT FAGGOT with mai waifu while admiring DAT ASS! Truly this is a Lemon Party!"

I had to Google 3 times in order to understand what the eff you were talking about. :'(

[Tadao]

A semi famous comedian might be living next door to me very soon. I hope he doesn't get all depressed and blow his head off in there. I've never had to clean a murder scene in order to rent out the unit. I wonder if Kitsa has any bodily fluid cleaning advice.

[Chojin]

you should get pram maven (the homicidal maniac of portland) to move in next door, since he got kicked out of his last place after he told his roomies you were going to kill them all.

it would be the ultimate troll

[Kitsa]

A semi famous comedian might be living next door to me very soon. I hope he doesn't get all depressed and blow his head off in there. I've never had to clean a murder scene in order to rent out the unit. I wonder if Kitsa has any bodily fluid cleaning advice.

Me specifically?

[Babs]

Sure hope for your sake it's not Carlos Mencia.

[Babs]

or sinbad

[Tadao]

you should get pram maven (the homicidal maniac of portland) to move in next door, since he got kicked out of his last place after he told his roomies you were going to kill them all.

it would be the ultimate troll

I thought about this the other day, what if Don Carlson the Mexican hating animator turned in an application for next door? I would probably have to kill him.

Kitsa, what did you use to clean up the poop on the bathroom walls? I'm sure it would clean blood and brains as well.

Babs, I need a contract that says you aren't going to tattle tale on me before I ever talk to you again.

[Kitsa]

Just when I get the shitgrenade out of my mind for a few minutes, you gotta go bring it back :(

I used bleach water, lysol, clorox wipes and tears.

[Rongi]

so I might do acid tomorrow

[kahljorn]

now u can have flashbacks of my dick too

[Tadao]

It's too cold outside to do acid

[k0k0]

Oh, I forgot. When I was in the mental ward, I met a girl who went in there because her right hand would shake involuntarily for a couple hours a day. That's probably the best part of being in the hospital. She is a cute, tiny asian girl with an australian accent. They said it wasn't mental related and so she's going to lots of docs now who can't figure out why. Anyways, her and I have been hanging out and talking a lot. So that was the best part of going there. Plus the origami.

[captain516]

wait then why was she there?

[k0k0]

Because the doctor said her shaking hands was due to anxiety and to check into there. The docs in the facility said it wasn't anxiety, she got checked out.

[captain516]

ohhh..are your roommates ok at least?

[AChimp]

My grandfather had a stroke and his hand shook slightly for the rest of his life! :O

[Colonel Flagg]

Babs, I need a contract that says you aren't going to tattle tale on me before I ever talk to you again.

:lol

[Colonel Flagg]

I used bleach water, lysol, clorox wipes and tears.

Tears; the secret ingredient!

[k0k0]

My current roommates... one talks to 10 story tall angels, one of whom is named snowflake. The other takes 5 seconds after you ask a question to respond, and when he does it's something like "really...is that right?". Yeah, they're ok.

[k0k0]

My grandfather had a stroke and his hand shook slightly for the rest of his life! :O

The good thing about that is that you never need to wake that person up to get a hj.

[Kitsa]

I'm surprised she got out of there without an EMG.

[Babs]

Babs, I need a contract that says you aren't going to tattle tale on me before I ever talk to you again.

All business. Let's take care of it.

[Tacobot]

I knew a HJ joke was somewhere in those last ten post.

[Esuohlim]

I've got a phone interview tomorrow :(

I am not comfortable over the phone at all. AND I'm getting over a cold so I'll sound extra undesirable to their company :eek

[Colonel Flagg]

At least you're not overconfident.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I've got a phone interview tomorrow :(

I am not comfortable over the phone at all. AND I'm getting over a cold so I'll sound extra undesirable to their company :eek

I'll give you tips, I've worked over the phone for six years now.I'M A REALLY GOOD LISTENER.

[Tadao]

Try tugging on you dick while talking to the interviewer.

[Babs]

Try sucking on the phone AND tugging on your dick while talking to the interviewer.

[kahljorn]

try to sound really hot even though in real life you're fat

[Tacobot]

Just imagine your phone is naked.

[Esuohlim]

UPDATE: MY PHONE INTERVIEWER WAS A LADY ;) ;)

[Babs]

Well..... WHAT DID THE BITCH ASK

[Colonel Flagg]

UPDATE: MY PHONE INTERVIEWER WAS A LADY ;) ;)

Did you ask what she was wearing?

[Colonel Flagg]

UPDATE: MY PHONE INTERVIEWER WAS A LADY ;) ;)

Did you ask what she was wearing?

[Zhukov]

Once again I forget to go to the end of the thread before replying. FUCK THIS.

[Esuohlim]

That's ok, I'll draw attention away by replying to something from six years ago

[Esuohlim]

I said "ftw" once as a backwards what the fuck and Chojin quoted it and said "I should ban you right there for that". This was a few months ago, before I even knew there was an actual "ftw" acronym. :(

lol @ milhousw

[Esuohlim]

Did you ask what she was wearing?

No :( But I can tell you what I was wearing. BOXER SHORTS AND A WHITE UNDERSHIRT :class

[MarioRPG]

No :( But I can tell you what I was wearing. BOXER SHORTS AND A WHITE UNDERSHIRT :class

I was in the same situation when I was applying for the census job. :posh

[Colonel Flagg]

No :( But I can tell you what I was wearing. BOXER SHORTS AND A WHITE UNDERSHIRT :class

:sexy

[Tadao]

Back in the 80's there was a very mean white pride gang in "The Valley" called FTW. It meant FUCK THE WORLD. They were posers though.

[Fathom Zero]

hay tadoo

[Guitar Woman]

I used to think I hated salad, but then I made a salad out of vegetables that didn't suck fucking dick, i.e. tomatoes and onions and banana peppers and green peppers drizzled with vinegar and salt, and no fucking lettuce because all lettuce is limp, rubbery, horrible bullshit that tastes like dandelion leaves, even fresh lettuce, so don't give me that "oh you just aren't eating good lettuce" fuckspeak because you're WRONG

Why didn't anyone think of this before? Once again I've proved that everyone in the world is a fucking idiot except for me.

[Esuohlim]

Tomatoes, onions, and peppers?! WHAT A CRAZY COMBINATION. THE WORLD JUST ISN'T READY.

[Esuohlim]

I AM INTERESTED IN MORE SIMILAR EXAMPLES OF THINGS YOU THOUGHT OF THAT NO ONE HAS EVER THOUGHT BEFORE

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

GW,

Try using spinach instead. It tastes a lot better than lettuce and it lets you do popeye stuff.

[Tadao]

HEY FZ!

[Guitar Woman]

ESUHOLIM: TYPING IN ALL CAPS TO COME ACROSS AS IRONICALLY ENTHUSIASTIC FOR THE PURPOSES OF ACTING LIKE A DOUCHEBAG WAS SOMETHING I WAS GOING TO UNVEIL TODAY, BUT I GUESS YOU BEAT ME TO IT! ;_;

10kvg: I think I prefer my spinach boiled and mushy, but there's no reason I couldn't have a bit of that as a side-dish

[Esuohlim]

IT WAS JUST VERY HARD FOR ME TO IGNORE YOUR ARROGANCE OVER YOUR "DISCOVERY" OF MAKING A SALAD WITHOUT LETTUCE. How can someone who has done every drug on the planet be so sheltered?

[Guitar Woman]

It was a joke, come on I thought this was ironyville

I mostly just wanted to talk about how much I fucking hate lettuce.

[Esuohlim]

Iceberg lettuce is awesome. Crispy and completely nutrition-free and flavorless. :fuckspeak

[Sam]

MAN, I JUST WANNA RUB MY DICK ON SOME LETTUCE NOW.

[kahljorn]

DID U TRY PUTTIN WEED IN IT

LOL THATS MY KINDA SALAD

[Zhukov]

OR HEROIN.

[Guitar Woman]

heroin tastes like earwax, I don't think it'd make a very good salad topping

[Colonel Flagg]

From lettuce to earwax in less than 20 posts.

[RaNkeri]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/viski3.jpg

:rock

[RaNkeri]

Happy New Year you filthy animals :rolleyes

[Esuohlim]

:rolleyes

[Babs]

rubbed my dick on a dollar bill, got herpes

[Sam]

HEY RANKERI

HOW IS BEING A FAT DUTCH MORON WITH FROZEN PISS ON YOUR HANDS GOING?

ALSO KNOWN AS BEING A DOCTOR IN DUTCHLAND OR WHERE EVER.

[Esuohlim]

rankeri you fucker

[Esuohlim]

A few years ago my buddy and I where going to go as the twin towers and then have two friends go as planes. The planes would come running around the corner and hit us.

POSTS LIKE THESE, JERKS.

IF I HAVE TO KEEP COMING BACK EVERY DAY TO SEE 15 NEW POSTS AND 11 ARE SPAM I'M GONNA PULL A WILLIE

[Colonel Flagg]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/viski3.jpg

:rock

:bestthread

RannyK, YOU DA MAN!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Hey, I'm done work for the summer. You wanna do the Anne Frank strategy in Halo 3?

Moreso I want to know what the anne frank strategy is now.

[Tadao]

I'm pulling my Willie right now.

[Babs]

Took a spicy shit today, whipped my ass roughly, my immediate reaction.
http://gearpatrol.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/there-will-be-blood-dvd-box.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Serious Business.

Unrelated but I kinda want to get this now
http://www.ebay.com/itm/MASTERS-UNIVERSE-SHE-RA-ADULT-SEXY-HALLOWEEN-COSTUME-/380367671638?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=&hash=item9758a175fc

[Zomboid]

Moreso I want to know what the anne frank strategy is now.

When did I even post that? I am such a stupid drunkard--my memory is completely fucked. The Anne Frank strategy is hiding out on a higher level and waiting for people to burst in, then shotgunning them in the faces.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol

[Sam]

When did I even post that? I am such a stupid drunkard--my memory is completely fucked. The Anne Frank strategy is hiding out on a higher level and waiting for people to burst in, then shotgunning them in the faces.

SHIT WAS SO CASH, BRAH.

[Zhukov]

Historically accurate.

[Guitar Woman]

kahl, are you a transsexual or a transvestite?

if the former can I ask you some questions

[Zhukov]

I thought it was transsexual for the longest time, but I'm pretty sure he's just transvestite.

[Guitar Woman]

Oh. Well shit.

[Esuohlim]

Doesn't transvestite just mean cross-dressing, and basically wanting to keep your gender? I thought kahl was taking hormones.

[Babs]

I want to see. Kahl, let me see.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

What are those questions...just for the record.

[Esuohlim]

I bet those questions will result in some hardcore lol emoticons

[Guitar Woman]

1. How expensive is hormone replacement/antiandrogen therapy?
2. How expensive is your general facial feminization procedure?
3. Is it possible to get surgery on your feets so they don't look like disgusting manflippers anymore?
4. During transitioning did you ever notice any sort of discrimination that interfered with your ability to do essential shit (i.e. get a job, rent an apartment, not get thrown out of respectable establishments because they don't serve your type round here, etc.)?
5. If you go to the gym, do you use the men's or women's locker room? It's obvious to me what bathroom you'd use, but the locker room's a bit trickier since you have to actually be naked in front of other people. So I'm either a chick with a penis in the men's room or a guy with tits in the ladies' room. Bit awkward.

[Babs]

I'm just going to sit back and watch this unfold in the most magnificant way possible.

[Guitar Woman]

How about you sit back and suck the dick I wish I didn't have

[Zhukov]

It's 2012, I think most of us are up to speed on the idea of GW being female by now.

[Guitar Woman]

I'm not even sure if I'm gonna transition at all. I'm very mannish and couldn't pass as a girl without extensive plastic surgery, and chances are I'll never have the money for that. As it stands, I think I'll just have to stay a boy and deal with it, although a few trannies I've talked to think that's incredibly unhealthy.

Too bad brain transplants aren't a thing.

[kahljorn]

3. Is it possible to get surgery on your feets so they don't look like disgusting manflippers anymore?i guess you didn't watch king of the hill or you'd know the answer to this

why would you goto a gym

also sry we dont have a very good advice/advicetaking ratio

[Guitar Woman]

Oh god, you're right, I'd look like Peggy.

:(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

1. How expensive is hormone replacement/antiandrogen therapy?
2. How expensive is your general facial feminization procedure?
3. Is it possible to get surgery on your feets so they don't look like disgusting manflippers anymore?
4. During transitioning did you ever notice any sort of discrimination that interfered with your ability to do essential shit (i.e. get a job, rent an apartment, not get thrown out of respectable establishments because they don't serve your type round here, etc.)?
5. If you go to the gym, do you use the men's or women's locker room? It's obvious to me what bathroom you'd use, but the locker room's a bit trickier since you have to actually be naked in front of other people. So I'm either a chick with a penis in the men's room or a guy with tits in the ladies' room. Bit awkward.

I feel like it is expensive because insurance is lame about it.
Pretty sure you can get any kind of surgery to help, not sure how much about feet though.
For discrimination it kind of depends where you live. There was a mayor a few years ago that changed sexes to a woman and kept her job.

I would totally be a chick if I wasn't a dad. Also I wouldn't be able to part with bonesaw.

[Guitar Woman]

well, you don't technically part with him, he just changes into Elizabeth.

[Rongi]

How about you sit back and suck the dick I wish I didn't have

If he sat back it would be kind of hard for him to suck your dick. Unless you like stood up and shoved it in his mouth

[Rongi]

i haven't slept in two days and my right hand is kind of numb. i think i might die soon

nah jk

but insomnia seriously fucking sucks

[Guitar Woman]

If it's that bad, haven't you tried ambien?

[Rongi]

I'm not really into the idea of taking meds to fall asleep, but I might not have a choice :(

Part of the reason I haven't been able to sleep is because I have spent the past couple of weeks drunk and stoned and I decided to stop doing either for a while. My body is kind of pissed off at me for not being inebriated, so it won't let me sleep >:

[Chojin]

i guess you didn't watch king of the hill or you'd know the answer to this

also sry we dont have a very good advice/advicetaking ratio

shit, there goes my chance to cheeseburger your advice thread

[Chojin]

anyway gw your tranny friends have just brainwashed each other in their stupid tranny cult and i think you'd do best to just find things aesthetic things about being a guy. it was one of the reasons i started lifting.

i don't remember how old you are, but i had this feeling in my late teens/early 20s and got past it.

[Guitar Woman]

Ambien, at least, is not addictive, and is much more effective at inducing sleep than any sort of addictive sedative medications.

This isn't to say it's not dangerous, since if you take ambien and forget to go to sleep, you'll be acting like this asshole (NSFW):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4z7mm4uEFM

If you live with someone, get them to hide your ambien and other prescriptions and especially your car keys; you'll drive off a fucking cliff on ambien. It's like drinking 20 bottles of wine in about 30 minutes, easily the most powerful sleeping pill there is.

The only real problem after acting like a retarded jackass if you forget to go to sleep is that, tolerance builds up hell of fast; first three days are 5 milligrams, fourth day is 15, fifth day is 30, etc. It'll drop fast, too, so my recommendation would be taking it only when you really need to get up the next morning.

[Guitar Woman]

anyway gw your tranny friends have just brainwashed each other in their stupid tranny cult
Yeah, that's why I'm looking for advice from someone I know who isn't a fucking weird creepy asshole. 420chan and other chan-sites have tranny boards, and they're full of people jacking each other off and camwhoring and whining about how hard being a tranny is; they're like furries except with gender instead of species. I've never stayed on any of those for more than a minute or two.

And I have considered that these feelings might go away, but I've pretty much had them since I was 12, so I think this is going to keep being a thing. If I don't fuck shit up in the near future I might have a female friend who mentally identifies as a boy, so at least I'll have company.

God knows what my dad would think, although my parents are aware that I'm not exactly a normal person

[King Hadas]

I've heard of people who chose gender reassignment and then later were hugely disappointed. Like that Daniel Bunten guy who created that famous Atari game M.u.l.e. "Being my 'real self' could have included...more femininity in whatever forms made sense. I didn't know that until too late and now I have to make the best of the life I've stumbled into. I just wish I would have tried more options before I jumped off the precipice (i.e inverted my dick into a pussy)." This can't happen to you though since your just some broke nobody, so no worries.

[Guitar Woman]

That's... reassuring?

[Tadao]

I think call is an Omnisexual/Omnigender

[Esuohlim]

I've heard of people who chose gender reassignment and then later were hugely disappointed.

No way man, check out the excitement on Chaz Bono's face about his ability to grow a neck beard!

http://www.nypost.com/rw/nypost/2011/11/16/pagesix/web_photos/chaz_bono--300x300.jpg

[Chojin]

i will never for the life of me understand why someone would choose to wear a neckbeard

take this guy from my facebook for example

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/387818_10150472017422895_522077894_8940951_1146955 956_n.jpg

who does that and then is like "yeah, that looks good."

my hypothesis is that obese people feel a forest of neckpubes is preferable to exposing their 2+ chins

[King Hadas]

Yeah it's all about giving them a jawline cause you only see fat people sporting neckbeards. But like bald people wearing toupees it fails to hide the problem and instead draws attention to it.

Maybe I should start taking whatever hormones Chaz Bono's taking. I wish I could grow such a nice even beard.

[Esuohlim]

That's what the fat guy goatee is for, to define the border between a fat guy's fat chin and his fat neck. The neckbeard is still beyond my understanding.

[Fathom Zero]

dumb

[Babs]

Fuck your 5 haired neckbeard, talk about hormone injections and home made man caves. Shit, I wouldn't mind hearing another story of tadao's $5 vasectomy. Just get natural with it.

[Sam]

INVERTED MY DICK INTO AN EVEN BIGGER DICK

[Sam]

IT WAS LIKE FOLDING SOCKS TOGETHER.

[Sam]

THOSE THICK-ASS THERMAL SOCKS.

[Babs]

Converted my prolapse to be an oven mitt for dicks.

[Guitar Woman]

Neckbeards are how you know who not to be friends with.

I want to just make a worldwide public service announcement to all fat people and tell them that growing a beard won't make them look less fucking fat; neither will wearing a fedora and trenchcoat. Linkara's like the uber-sperglord. I wish he'd grow the neckbeard, just to complete the look.

Speaking of him, has anyone seen his webcomic? He drew it when he was about 19 and describes it as "a realistic look at superheroes."

http://lightbringer.comicgenesis.com/d/20060315.html

It's so fucking bad.

[liquidstatik]

..

[Tadao]

You're finally gonna get male hormones?

[liquidstatik]

..

[Tadao]

I'll inject some hormones into you. :wank

[liquidstatik]

..

[kahljorn]

shit, there goes my chance to cheeseburger your advice thread

Still mad?

[Dr. Boogie]

i will never for the life of me understand why someone would choose to wear a neckbeard

1. Because he's overjoyed he was able to grow any hair on hiface.
2. He thinks it looks better then a bare neckroll.

[Rongi]

I got to sleep last night, but at 6:30PM. I woke up around 1:30AM, have been up since. Feels weird, man

I went to the hospital at one point because I thought I was losing my mind. When I got there there was a 6 hour wait to be seen. There were people waiting who were throwing up blood. I just ended up leaving.

I'm pretty sure if I don't leave Long Island I am going to drink myself to death or start doing hard drugs. When I was at school I had pretty much no problem going to sleep at night. This place is hell.

[Rongi]

Oh btw I have a beard and i think it looks ok. I mainly have it because I am too lazy to go buy a razor and shave it off.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

You should go back to school.

[Esuohlim]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_91s-Zkod9Gc/THrALDU5q9I/AAAAAAAAJSE/hUgCJh3jrRo/s1600/back+to+school.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

if you google image college football
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&cp=7&gs_id=m&xhr=t&q=college+football&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&biw=1024&bih=552&wrapid=tljp1326236208852012&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=MsIMT92wIM-utwfHqNGmBQ&safe=active

the first pic is just some guy playing hop scotch.

[Esuohlim]

Not for me, this is my first pic :D

http://scoresoddspicks.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/collegefootball.jpg

[Rongi]

You should go back to school.

Oh i didn't drop out or nothing, I'm just on winter break

[Kitsa]

It looks weird to me that Rodney Dangerfield's body is that small.

An antique store near here has a Rappin' Rodney LP in one of their record bins in the attic. I saw it, laughed, moved on.

[Fathom Zero]

I'm going back to school tomorrow because I'm an asshole and I want to hurt myself.

[Guitar Woman]

I went back to school yesterday because I'm awesome and I want an awesome degree

[Aaarg]

does anybody know where a brother can get a good cheeseburge

[Tadao]

Cheeseburgers are for fags, eat a chili-burger from Tommy's instead.

[Aaarg]

i am allergic to chilly i must have cheesebuerger

[Rongi]

i keep thinking the dude in milhouse's avatar is dave grohl

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Not for me, this is my first pic :D

http://scoresoddspicks.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/collegefootball.jpg

I should have grabbed the pic. It was some running back with a football doing a leap frog over a guy trying to tackle him. My cat did the same move this morning when the other cat ran at him.

Oh i didn't drop out or nothing, I'm just on winter break

Oh...well then. Is it like two weeks off?

[Tadao]

God damnit 10K, don't time out again.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I don't know why I thought playing 960 was a good idea. I've been getting stomped in regular chess for a week straight now.

[Esuohlim]

Oh shit, you guys are still playing chess? I forgot all about that :o

[Esuohlim]

i keep thinking the dude in milhouse's avatar is dave grohl

A constantly high version of Dave Grohl

[Zomboid]

Rongi's looks like a fat Danzig.

Edit: Ok, so that's exactly what that is. Thanks, Google!

[Tadao]

Fatzig

[Zomboid]

Zaftig :O

[Dr. Boogie]

So I'm having a tough time at work because the boss decided to skip town for a few days and I'm basically having to run the whole business while he's gone. Then, finally, he shows up again late last night. Good, I think to myself, tomorrow I can get him caught up and ask him all those questions I've been saving for when he got back, since he's so unreliable over the phone.

I come in for work this morning, and he shows up a couple hours later, as he is wont to do. After a few minutes, he comes back to my work area and says, "John, could you take a look at this." I'm not sure what he wants to show me, so I grab my notepad and follow. He walks to the bathroom, turns to me, and gives the following speech:


"This isn't the bathroom at a Chevron station, all right!? We don't have anyone who comes in to clean our toilet! I'm not interested in cleaning up after you, and [his wife] damn sure isn't either! I've told you about this before, and now I'm getting angry!"


And he had talked to me about our toilet before. That time, he pointed out a balled-up bit of blue string that had fallen off my shirt onto the toilet seat. Back then, I just brushed it into the bowl and went about my day. This time, though, things were different:

Not only was there a small piece of lint on the seat; there was a hair on it as well! I wanted to call the CDC and have them quarantine the entire building, but I settled for just brushing the contaminants into the bowl.


I think it was something about the way he compared a hair and some lint to the conditions in a gas station men's room that made me wonder about him. I also couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't concerned about the brown ring around the inside of the toilet that's been there since I started in September of last year, or the growing pile of hair that he shoves into the corner and then ignores. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

The moral of the story is that if you're ever in a small IT shop in Southern California and you need to use the can, for god's sake make sure the toilet seat is left immaculate!

[Zhukov]

Kooky.

Anyone higher up you can complain to? Failing that, any message boards you could... oh you did that.

Getting really picky about stuff like that, while ignoring the bigger problems might be a good sign that the business is (wait for it) going down the toilet!!!! and he is really stressed out.

[ThrashO]

Boogie you should do as he says and befriend him, help him with anything he needs, do his taxes, create an alternate identity to hide money in his name from the public then at the last second when he thinks everything is fine you escape through a broken sewage pipe behind the crumbling bathroom wall, crawl through a half mile of human waste and then call the cops on him, blowing his entire corrupt scheme and then using the alternate identity that you created for him for yourself.

[Zomboid]

Just top-tank that bitch and quit.

[Dr. Boogie]

Kooky.

Anyone higher up you can complain to? Failing that, any message boards you could... oh you did that.

Getting really picky about stuff like that, while ignoring the bigger problems might be a good sign that the business is (wait for it) going down the toilet!!!! and he is really stressed out.

Counting him, his wife, and me, there are three people working at the company.

He's normally fairly even-tempered, if a bit asperger-y. He does have a big problem with organization and procrastination, but that's what I'm here for.

I was a little worried after the chew out session that he might decide to can my ass the next time a mote of dust threatens to sully his toilet, but I don't think it's that likely. And if he does, well, I've got a key to the building, I know the alarm codes, and I'm really the only one who knows what components we have, and how many we have.

In the meantime, I'll be content to share stories of his weird priorities with my internet buddiez. :D

[elx]

usps wouldn't allow me to change my address without subscribing to tons of coupon/catalog offers, so I closed the form and they still charged my credit card and did not update my address. bastards.

also they withheld my package from november, into january, for no reason other than holiday rush- and they couldn't "find" it. Isn't it like a felony to threaten a government agency? because i'm going to set those shitheads on fire.

[elx]

And if he does, well, I've got a key to the building, I know the alarm codes, and I'm really the only one who knows what components we have, and how many we have.

I like this thinking, it sounds like you should start here

[Sam]

SHITHEAD

[elx]

whatever you guys did to drive willie away you should fix :(

[Esuohlim]

You know how Isaac Hayes got all pissed and quit when South Park made fun of scientology?

It's like that, except with ponies

[elx]

chef never came back ??? :(

[Babs]

I know how to get Willie back, but I'm going to need your help elx, YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME. I know how you can get your precious willie back. Just cooperate and everything will be back to normal.

[Chojin]

You know how Isaac Hayes got all pissed and quit when South Park made fun of scientology?

It's like that, except with ponies

:lol

[kahljorn]

SOMEBODY CALL THE CYBEr POLIce We GOT SOMEBODY THREATENING A GOVERNMENT AGENCY HERE.

"This isn't the bathroom at a Chevron station, all right!? We don't have anyone who comes in to clean our toilet! I'm not interested in cleaning up after you, and [his wife] damn sure isn't either! I've told you about this before, and now I'm getting angry!"reminds me of that part in breakfast of champions when the goingcrazyguy gets all crazy and berates people because they are wearing hawaiian shirts on hawaiian day.

oh man i was somehow on the last page and didn't realize it :(

[Esuohlim]

also they withheld my package from november, into january, for no reason other than holiday rush- and they couldn't "find" it. Isn't it like a felony to threaten a government agency? because i'm going to set those shitheads on fire.

Is this the one with the turtle?

[Aaarg]

today i almost bought a carl sagan book from a thrift store but it had mold on it

like mold that you could scrape off

[kahljorn]

carl sagan is like the carlos mencia of the scientific community

wth is with carls

[Aaarg]

http://blogs.1077theend.com/files/2011/07/dougbenson.jpg

[Esuohlim]

http://i.imgur.com/D7QXb.png

[Aaarg]

http://www.earpentertainmentservices.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/doug.jpg

[Esuohlim]

http://i.imgur.com/u9mH8.jpg

[Sam]

OUR AVATARS LOOK THE SAME.

[Sam]

SOMEONE PLEASE AMALGAMATE MY AVATAR AND MULEHORSE'S AVATAR TOGETHER PLEASE.

[elx]

is the weather this bipolar in the rest of the country?

[elx]

also i just texted thrasho and he responded so clearly he is not dead

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Counting him, his wife, and me, there are three people working at the company.

He's normally fairly even-tempered, if a bit asperger-y. He does have a big problem with organization and procrastination, but that's what I'm here for.

I was a little worried after the chew out session that he might decide to can my ass the next time a mote of dust threatens to sully his toilet, but I don't think it's that likely. And if he does, well, I've got a key to the building, I know the alarm codes, and I'm really the only one who knows what components we have, and how many we have.

In the meantime, I'll be content to share stories of his weird priorities with my internet buddiez. :D

You should smear birthday cake all over the place.

[Aaarg]

is the weather this bipolar in the rest of the country?

i was going to say yes but you and i are in the same part of the country

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

The weather is so bad near rochester, ny twelve different kids caught terettes.

[kahljorn]

maybe you were talking to a ghost writer, elx ;O

[kahljorn]

the weather is so bad here right now i have to wear a light jacket ;/

the other day i had to wear a light jacket AND socks

these weather changes are out of control

[Tadao]

Tell me about it. I almost had to cancel a park picnic tomorrow.

[Fathom Zero]

elx are you and thrasho going to have retarded children together

[Aaarg]

my ipod doesn't work when it gets too cold now so i have to bring it inside instead of leaving it in my vehicle as i have for the past five years

this morning i let my car warm up and scraped some ice off the windshield and then my ipod was too cold to use already.

fuck u apple, FUCK U

[kahljorn]

if you keep it in your underwear maybe it wont gt cold

[Aaarg]

yeah but what if a cop pulls me over and i'm trying to turn the music off and i got my hands in my pant and the cops is like "what are you doing there" and im like "im fumbling with my wires hang on a minute" and then i go to jail

oyou're just trying to get rid of me

FUCK you !!!!!!!!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

sorry officer, there is a cheeseburger in my pants. thats how you get rid of people

[kahljorn]

but policemen love undercover cheeseburgers :(

[Aaarg]

i was going to look for a picture of an excited cop re: cheeseburgers but "excited cop" on gis brought up this instead
http://www.3drealms.com/duke4/images/pigcop2008_small.jpg

[Babs]

Oh that's an exited cop alright.

[kahljorn]

i cant decide if i wnt to go out and not be a loser or stay inside and smoke weed and play videogames

maybe ill smoke some weed to help me decide.

[Babs]

HOLY SHIT BRUH I'M DOIN THE SAME THANE. CEPT LIKE IM TALKIG TO YOU NIGZ AND SMOKIN DANK AND PLAYIN DREAMCAST LOL. SHIT NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO IGNORE ME CUZE WERE THE SAME, BONDING!

[Babs]

more like I'm posting and your posting around me LOL!!!

[kahljorn]

i just smoked weed and i still cant decide:(

maybe ill just play some videogamesuntil i make a decision

[Babs]

WHATGAME

[Babs]

I'LL MAKE YOU SOME FRENCH TOAST TO HELP MULL IT OVER.

[kahljorn]

sup babs

[kahljorn]

i played empire total war and now im playing x3

[Babs]

Sup cowhorn. I'm playing skies of arcadia, about to put in code Veronica.

[Aaarg]

i want some w33d

[Chojin]

i fucked off for so long that i only had time to apply to one of the two colleges I wanted to :\

at least it was the one i like a lot more

still, qq

[Tadao]

ICDC accepted you?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Independent collage of detective comics

[Rongi]

I have a bunch of weed right now but it's too cold out for me to wanna go outside and toke. I dont wanna smoke it in my house cuz thats gross

#whitemanproblems

[kahljorn]

stand in the doorway and smoke thatswhat id id yesterday cause it was raining a;9

[Babs]

DOWN STAIRS IN THE BASEMENT

[Kitsa]

token post to ruin the internet experience of others

[dextire]

Any promising new entries to the WTFbus museum? :)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

stand in the doorway and smoke thatswhat id id yesterday cause it was raining a;9

That's how I drink. In case there is an earthquake a ceiling doesn't ruin my booze.

[kahljorn]

:lol

[Aaarg]

i had to go to a head shop yesterday and it made me actively hate potheads again

and then i got real fucked up and it made me actively nothing

[Kitsa]

Any promising new entries to the WTFbus museum? :)

not really :/

[Dimnos]

Happy birthday month kitsa kitten.

[Rongi]

stand in the doorway and smoke thatswhat id id yesterday cause it was raining a;9

i used to do that with cigarettes but it usually backfired and the area around the doorway would smell :(

my friend left his bowl here. it is the dumbest piece. it has no carb and it's shaped like a joint, so i'm always afraid the weed is gonna fall out. i would roll a joint instead but i don't have that much bud

[Rongi]

maybe i should use my mom's bowl, it's actually shaped like a pipe. i feel weird using my mom's piece though :/

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

REAL NEWS ARTICLES FROM THE DEVIL INSIDE DOCUMENTARY! SERIOUS BUSINESS!.

http://www.therossifiles.com/site/2012/01/01/maria-rossi-newspaper-article/#comments



Is that how they got around the disclaimer. Its a Docramentary.

This is seriously an all star list of idiots.

I wish these people would start posting here.

[kahljorn]

:lol
can't believe i bothered reading all of that :(

[Kitsa]

Happy birthday month kitsa kitten.

bday's in March actually but thanks

[kahljorn]

thank god i found ths in the banner ads guys

http://www.hojomotor.com/

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

thank god i found ths in the banner ads guys

http://www.hojomotor.com/

I was watching the video and the natural gas picture on the right. Then they got the giant red X over it and the family feud noise went off in my head.

[Esuohlim]

happy birhdayt kitsa

[Sam]

I GOT BANNED FROM MULEHORSES FACEBOOK :lol

[kahljorn]

what did you do

[kahljorn]

maybe you and chojin should form some kind of facebook gang

[Kitsa]

I'm sorry. Have a tampon. (http://www.obtampons.com/apology)

[Esuohlim]

I GOT BANNED FROM MULEHORSES FACEBOOK :lol

LIMITED PROFILE, SON. KNOW YOUR PLACE.

[Zomboid]

I guess I deleted Sam a looong time ago, but I don't even remember doing it.

[Esuohlim]

That Wikipedia blackout is stupid as hell. Hit Esc before the page fully loads

[Sam]

YEAH CHANGE THE SUBJECT, ELITIST.

[Esuohlim]

THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS BREAKFAST CLUB, THOUGH

[kahljorn]

maybe i should use my mom's bowl, it's actually shaped like a pipe. i feel weird using my mom's piece though :/

gravity bong

i have one setup on the side of my house ;/ lol

[Sam]

OH YEAH, HE BLOCKED ME BECAUSE I SEEN BREAKFAST CLUB BEFORE.

MY BAD. :rolleyes

[Dimnos]

bday's in March actually but thanks

I would have sworn your kis was only a month younger than mine. :\