I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

my firefox died and have to use google chrome now. haven't figured out how to copy images in it yet.

:AIRHORN

[Emu]

BUT THIS THREAD ISNT ABOUT HOW SAD WE ARE

THIS THREAD NEEDS TO BE LESS FAGGY

SO INSTEAD ILL POST ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BUTTS

CLICK FOR NSFW BUTT

http://files.brobible.com/archive/Buzz/NataliePortman/natalie-portman-nude-hotel-chevalier1.jpg


man that's a good butt


too bad that's like the only good part of that gay movie

what movie is this

nvm it says in the filename i think

[Esuohlim]

Is it weird that I've never heard of the genre "powerviolence" until today?

Really lame, btw

[Emu]

I'd never heard of it til you said that.

[Fathom Zero]

What even is that?

[Emu]

Is it anything like ultraviolence, like from Clockwork Orange?

[Esuohlim]

It just sounds like contrived angry music (like all that stuff ending in "-core") that no one listens to anymore after they turn 14

[Rongi]

Powerviolence can be really funny, though

Check oug Deep Shit's "Creepin while you sleepin". The samples alone make me laugh

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Listen to goatwhore then.

Albacore is the way to go.

[Fathom Zero]

SWQYXdofBfE

:lol

[executioneer]

s. jogs died

[executioneer]

i mean jobs whoops

[Esuohlim]

OH WELL >:)

[ThrashO]

http://www.underground-gamer.com/imagebucket/1317860275626.jpeg

[Shyandquietguy]

Okay guys, I'm in the church of Micheal Ian Black here. There are no Judaism pitchmen.

After work I got to my car and was warming up the engine when a fellow was all like "Hey buddy can I ask you something?" so I rolled down my window thinking it might be someone down on their luck and their car needs a jump and he hands me a slip and says "You're invited to a church get together you can come if you want." So being the nice guy I am I replied "I'm not really looking for a religion, in fact I'm personally not ready to do any philosophical exploration yet." He just waits until I finish then says "Well it's not a religion, it's about being with God" so I just nod and wait for him to leave and he's all "Hey check this out it's like a comic book" I'm easily mistaken way under my actual age and for some reason I think that's why he decided to use the term "comic book" well anyways he eventually leaves and I start driving off. I turn onto the road and in front of me is a mid-sized S.U.V. and I see the American Flag and next to it is the Star of David. I don't know why the American Flag stood out to me in this story but I definitely know I didn't talk to that guy. Plus he had a military sticker as well.

Seriously, I'm probably a lot nicer than I should be. He's not anywhere near my department and the place is closing down. I may have to wait until next week if he decides to "find" me.

[Colonel Flagg]

I would have been all "I'm a member of the Temple of Set, why don't you come to one of our services and sacrifice a goat?".

[Emu]

People who do that shit are incredibly irritating. Don't feel bad about driving off, if he was being pushy he deserved it anyway, and I'm sure you're not the first person who ignored him.

I used to have guys come into my work all the time and ask me if I was a Christian while I was behind the counter. That shit's low when you're a captive audience.

[Fathom Zero]

Bert Jansch died, too.

[Esuohlim]

SO DID DONALD CAMPBELL SR. (http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/houstonchronicle/obituary.aspx?n=donald-campbell&pid=153968996&fhid=5641), WHO GIVES A SHIT

[Fathom Zero]

Dead people are dead.

[Esuohlim]

FOREVER AND NEVER COMING BACK

[Rongi]

rip tupac

[Ninjavenom]

rip ghandi

[k0k0]

Hey, at least no matter what, my life rules more than those people. Except tupac, that fucker's still releasing more albums and getting his dick sucked on tape more dead than I am.

But at least I can still do this! You can't see, but I'm totally jackin it right now.

[executioneer]

RIP RICHARD DUNN >:(

[Rongi]

Good to have you back, ninjavenom!

[Emu]

rip carl sagan

[executioneer]

rip steve jobs, he is survived by his wife steve wozniak and their daughter steve ballmer

[Rongi]

rip willie mobbs

[k0k0]

rip my nose stitches if I don't stop picking at them

[Rongi]

you guys ever notice the black spicegirl was named scary spice

what's up with that

[Zhukov]

I know, it was weird. But what would you have her be called? Crazy Spice? Mental Spice?



I'm getting ads at the top of the page advertising the movie 'Everything Must Go' starring Will Ferrell. Apparently it's about yard sales. The first thing I thought of was Kitsa, and if the movie execs have been trawling i-mockery and stealing her anecdotes.

[Esuohlim]

rip steve jobs, he is survived by his wife steve wozniak and their daughter steve ballmer

:lol

[Esuohlim]

rip torn

[Esuohlim]

rip taylor

[Shyandquietguy]

rip nellecont

[ThrashO]

you guys ever notice the black spicegirl was named scary spice

what's up with that

ID BE SCARED TO IF I WAS GONNA BE ROBBED :shocked

[Colonel Flagg]

Sigourney Weaver (Ripley)
Ripley's Believe it or Not

[Fathom Zero]

rip taylor

rip torn

norman mailer

[Pentegarn]

ID BE SCARED TO IF I WAS GONNA BE ROBBED :shocked
I'll tell you what I want what i really really want, your wallet, hand it over bitch

[Aaarg]

rip van winkle

[Aaarg]

jack the ripper

dblpost

[Colonel Flagg]

Jack Tripper
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b5/Jack_Tripper_1982.png/220px-Jack_Tripper_1982.png

[Kitsa]

First thing I thought of was Hulk Hogan from No Holds Barred.


RIP! RIP! RIP!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://www.rippedabs.net/Ripped%20Abs.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

beef jobs just died

[executioneer]

dude just needs to go to friendly's

[Kitsa]

bah, don't even mention that horrible, horrible place.

[ThrashO]

If he was unemployed he'd be Need Jobs

[ThrashO]

If he was a black spice girl he'd be Steve Robs

[ThrashO]

If he liked corn he'd be Steve Cobs

[ThrashO]

If he was fat he'd be Steve Blobs

[ThrashO]

IF HE WAS A TIGER HE'D BE STEVE HOBBES

[ThrashO]

If he was Italian he'd be Steve Dirty Greasy Guido

[ThrashO]

Steve Mobs works too.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

IF HE WAS A HITCHHIKER HE WE WOULD BE BEEBLEBROX ZAPHODS

[Chojin]

hey can one of you weirdos explain why posting pictures of cheeseburgers or hamburgers or whatever is a banable offense

thanks

i banned kahl and he blamed it on cheeseburgers, and the idea of that being true was hilarious to me, so i started banning for them ever since

[Chojin]

sup guys i was bored today

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/autism_awareness.png

posting that to my facebook as well might not have been a good idea

[Kitsa]

I'm getting ads at the top of the page advertising the movie 'Everything Must Go' starring Will Ferrell. Apparently it's about yard sales. The first thing I thought of was Kitsa, and if the movie execs have been trawling i-mockery and stealing her anecdotes.

It's possible. I just now saw this, sorry.

[Aaarg]

one time i was behind a car that had one of those stupid ribbons but it had basketballs all over it

[Kitsa]

Our old across-the-street neighbor used to have them and she wouldn't loop it over her antenna when she went through the carwash, so it always came off. She thought people were stealing them, but she kept buying more and losing more. The metal back door of the car wash was covered with the autism ribbons that had fallen off her car. Weirdly enough, I only remember them being autism ribbons, no other causes.

[k0k0]

The family down my street about 10 houses down has autistic children...5 of them. Why would you keep having kids if they all turn out that way? Anyways, what pissed me off most about them was about 3 years ago, they had that Extreme Home Makeover thing come and give them a new house. They pretty much made people evacuate the neighborhood who were around that house. They paid for hotels for them, but it was dick ass. And then they closed off our block and I had to fight with guards daily for them to let me through. The police were all over the place. It was a god damn shitty time. I didn't even go down there to view it or help out like a lot of the neighborhood people were. And they had generators that were huge going all night and day, buzzing and I couldn't sleep. I was probably the only one on the neighborhood making a huge shit about it though, since everyone else was acting like it was christmas or something and I was the grinch.

[Kitsa]

I don't know about the autism part, but I've always wondered about the extreme home makeover thing. They did one in Dayton and it was a circus, complete with a Kellie Pickler concert. What I was thinking was, what does it do to the property value? Are they left with a home they can't afford to pay taxes on?

[Grislygus]

Willie what the hell kind of khaljorn pictures have you been looking at

[k0k0]

I have no idea but the house makes the rest of our aging neighborhood look like a shithole. And it's not like we have much lot space either. The thing is just a lot taller than the other houses, like a mini mansion. And yeah, it was a fucking circus. I wish it was on the next neighborhood over and not mine.

[ThrashO]

Step 1: Hammer testicles

Step 2: Impregnate hillbilly woman

Step 3: Retard children

Step 4: ???

Step 5: PROFIT.

[k0k0]

Step 4: MOVE THAT BUS!

[kahljorn]

GRISLYGUS YOU WOULDNT BE INTERESTED

[Shyandquietguy]

Okay so I'll come out and say I'm a lazy asshole because Kitsa's comment about Thrash0 was pretty damn spot on but now I'm gonna make up for it with two pickles. :greenPx2

South Park be old dawg, and so is that gag. And don't give any of that lip of having fun you racist tinky winky.

PS: I am waiting for you to make a joke about lampshades.

[ThrashO]

wut

[Kitsa]

I made a comment about Thrash0?

[Shyandquietguy]

About Thrash0 needing Pram for his existence and that was a while ago and all.

Thrash0 you can be okay at times but that Steve Robs joke was a stinker IMHO. I do not know if Steve Dirty Greasy Guido will cover it for me! P U

[ThrashO]

About Thrash0 needing Pram for his existence and that was a while ago and all.

Thrash0 you can be okay at times but that Steve Robs joke was a stinker IMHO. I do not know if Steve Dirty Greasy Guido will cover it for me! P U

http://www.underground-gamer.com/imagebucket/1312129252813.jpeg

[ThrashO]

Also I changed my facebook name to Tommy MizzDoNtNeEdAMaN Martin

[Fathom Zero]

grislygus can I see your legs again? I need to punch the clown tonight because I won't be able to go to sleep with my turgid rod

[k0k0]

You cock infested cum mattress. Look at your own legs.

[Fathom Zero]

I think you

could use a nap

[Zhukov]

sup guys i was bored today

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/autism_awareness.png

posting that to my facebook as well might not have been a good idea

That's actually hilarious. I really want one.

[Rongi]

Chojin you should really consider making that into a magnet or something. I would actually put that on my car

[executioneer]

Willie what the hell kind of khaljorn pictures have you been looking at
it wasnt me what edited the title

[LordSappington]

I dyed my dog's paw blue today.
http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff44/roflcopter12211/300129_10150300853562452_682062451_8052909_1918635 118_n.jpg

[kahljorn]

BLUE PAW HAIR? SOUNDS LIKE YOUR KINDA BITCH

[Zhukov]

Sappington this is starting to get out of hand/paw. Stop dying hair.


God that was awful.

[elx]

what are some really awesome songs to have sex to? it's getting too cold to use a fan as background noise!

[Zhukov]

I think you are a bit young for that.

But anything by Salt N Peppa usually works.

vCadcBR95oU

EDIT: I meant too young to have to resort to music. You should be content with the sounds of lust and passion.

[ThrashO]

what are some really awesome songs to have sex to? it's getting too cold to use a fan as background noise!

Me and my ex used to fuck to the weather channel all the time.

"AND TODAY IT IS GOING TO BE PARTLY CLOUDY WITH RAIN"
"OOOHHHH GODDDD!!!"

my room mates just think we really hate rain

[elx]

background noise isn't a requirement, it's a courtesy to all of the less fortunate college students within listenin' distance

[Fathom Zero]

reo speedwagon and bob seger

[Zhukov]

background noise isn't a requirement, it's a courtesy to all of the less fortunate college students within listenin' distance

Sucks to be them is all you should be thinking about.

[k0k0]

what are some really awesome songs to have sex to? it's getting too cold to use a fan as background noise!

Although my ex and I used to fuck to the office, since she liked the show and it's bearable to me, now whenever I watch the office I get a boner and start thinking about sex. Don't make it a normal song/album that you listen to daily.

I downloaded about 10 cds of a smooth jazz compilation and I use that now. Sure, it's kinda cliche to fuck to jazz, but there's a reason why. It's all kinds of sexy. Of course if you don't want people to know you're doing it, jazz isn't going to lead them astray. When two people go into a room and the saxophone starts up, you know it's getting hot and heavy.

[Vyvyan Basterd]

what are some really awesome songs to have sex to? it's getting too cold to use a fan as background noise!

Whatever is playing in my car.

We were boning one time last summer in the dead of the afternoon. I wasn't even close to being done but someone started playing this awesome full blown drum solo next door. I started get the rhythm with it. Then exploded when the drummer started going nuts on the cymbols

[executioneer]

what are some really awesome songs to have sex to? it's getting too cold to use a fan as background noise!
uxFOOEOlBF8
lXIRAseagYs

[Aaarg]

i'm too fuckin' add to have sex to music because i'll pay too much attention to the music

al green makes me think of sex though

[Esuohlim]

T0bwtMPXG_0

Just skip to 1:23 because that's when he stops talking, but be sure to make it fullscreen since nothing is sexier during sex than looking at that album cover! Also, the song is like 9 minutes long so you'll even have plenty of time to start having sex again and finish before the song ends

[Esuohlim]

background noise isn't a requirement, it's a courtesy to all of the less fortunate college students within listenin' distance

ELX IS A SCREAMER

[Chojin]

Chojin you should really consider making that into a magnet or something. I would actually put that on my car

if someone finds me a site that makes it reasonable, i'll do it

i'd do it myself but i'm mad busy atm

[Fathom Zero]

In srsnss, though:

HhEXFH0R0LY

[Fathom Zero]

yf0Amcgxot8

OH MAN, MILHOUSE

:eek:eek:eek:eek:eek:eek:eek:eek

[k0k0]

I'd buy the Autism Awareness sticker/magnet. That thing is kind of sweet.

[kahljorn]

I DIDNT PASS MY DRIVING TEST CAUSE OF SOME GAY TECHNICALITY :(

[Grislygus]

SHOULD HAVE DRESSED LIKE A WOMAN AND TITILLATED THE REPESSED FATTIE DMV WORKER

ALSO WHY DO YOU NOT ALREADY HAVE A LICENSE

[Emu]

both you and my girlfriend kahl :(

[Grislygus]

Holy shit, you're back :eek

[Emu]

I've been posting for at least a week man where you been at.

[kahljorn]

i never needed a license and my parents didn't let me getone when i was younger.

[Grislygus]

Dammit emu, now I have to catch up on a week's worth of posts

[ThrashO]

Uncle gus, Pram Maven is banned. Also, my lover left me and I cried in a thread.

lol

[k0k0]

The lady who passed me at the driving school only did so because she had a thing for me. I was 17 so it wasn't that bad. She said that she really shouldn't be doing this, but I was such a great guy and I had to promise to her that I'd work hard at practicing driving and not go out til I was ready. The next week I took a job as a delivery driver.

[ThrashO]

"Don't drive yet, Don't tell anyone, Stop burying my dead body."

Fucking stupid bitches man :rolleyes

[k0k0]

I haven't been in a wreck in the 12 years I've been driving since then, so I can't be that bad.

[ThrashO]

Dammit emu, now I have to catch up on a week's worth of posts

DID U REALIZE SOMEONE TORE UR PICKLES OUT

[Grislygus]

man, the pickles were retarded to begin with, I seriously thought it was a joke when it was implemented

Uncle gus, Pram Maven is banned. Also, my lover left me and I cried in a thread.

lol

Wait, did he actually manage to piss somebody off, or was he just released into the wild for his own good

[ThrashO]

I think the official reason was "Rape, Molestation and being from Portland, Oregon."

[Emu]

A few years ago I didn't think anybody here liked me ;~;

[Grislygus]

EMU YOU ARE A FAVORITE. WHATCHOO TALKIN BOUT WILLIS.

[Grislygus]

maaaaaan I'm wierdly disappointed now that I know the anticlimactic reason for the new Chat Title

[Emu]

And what do I do with all these spare boners!

[Emu]

So the Simpsons might be ending. That's the best news I've heard all day.

[kahljorn]

WERE YOU EXPECTING A PICTURe OF MY ASS, GRISLYGUS

WERE YOU ANTICIPATING IT AS YOU READ THROUGH THE ENTIRE CHAT THREAD, DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR A PHOTO

[Grislygus]

I WAS EXPECTING SHATTERED ARCHAEOLOGICAL EVIDENCE OF DEPRAVED FILTH, SWEPT OVER BY THE SANDS OF TIME AND MOD ACTIVITY

I WAS DISAPPOINTED

[k0k0]

Emu, it was supposed to end after this season because of the talks not working but they came to an agreement that extends it 2 more seasons to 25 years. Fucking simpsons. And the actors didn't even get anything they wanted out of it. They caved and fox laughed with their big fat wallets. Of course the voice actors have big fat wallets too. Just not as fat as fox's.

[Kitsa]

It's weird that you mention the drivers ed passing thing because the lady down the street was just over today telling me she'd gotten in an accident and her car got totaled. By a 16 year old kid who was on his way back from getting his license.

I had to take an AAA-sponsored driver's ed class to get a learner's permit, before they decided I couldn't drive because of the neuro stuff. It was the dumbest shit ever....seventies scare movies, and we had to read a chapter and take a test, and that was all they expected of us. I took the class with an older friend who had lived in big cities all her life and never had to drive. Basically we goofed off the whole time. Then on the last day this hillbilly zipped around a corner too fast in his IROC-Z and t-boned the instructor. We laughed until we just about peed ourselves.

[Emu]

WERE YOU EXPECTING A PICTURe OF MY ASS, GRISLYGUS

thread does not deliver

[k0k0]

It's weird that you mention the drivers ed passing thing because the lady down the street was just over today telling me she'd gotten in an accident and her car got totaled. By a 16 year old kid who was on his way back from getting his license.

I had to take an AAA-sponsored driver's ed class to get a learner's permit, before they decided I couldn't drive because of the neuro stuff. It was the dumbest shit ever....seventies scare movies, and we had to read a chapter and take a test, and that was all they expected of us. I took the class with an older friend who had lived in big cities all her life and never had to drive. Basically we goofed off the whole time. Then on the last day this hillbilly zipped around a corner too fast in his IROC-Z and t-boned the instructor. We laughed until we just about peed ourselves.

I forgot about the class stuff. I took that in school from one of the coaches. We watched Jerry Springer most of the time in class and only talked about cars a few times. One time he took us to show us the engine and how to check the oil levels in his truck and there were beer cans strewn about the bed of his truck. He was the same coach who in gym class told me he was going to turn my small arms into big muscley things and gave up after I couldn't lift the bar.

[Colonel Flagg]

Signal 30 was a great motion picture. Oscar-worthy.

[kahljorn]

there was some dumb side street that i was supposed to keep clear i guess even though nobody was there and the light was green for me, and I didn't so i failed. even though i only had 6 errors.

lame

[ThrashO]

I failed my first driving test because I rolled through a stop sign. >:

also I did some landscaping today for a woman who is having a wedding tomorrow. basically she has an acre of land with all kinds of flower beds and I see about 25 bails of pine straw and she's like "spread these throughout all the beds" and I'm like "ok" so she leaves and I'm like "fuck that shit ima chill" so I just lay down in the grass and sleep for about 8 hours and she comes back and is like "why havent you done anything the wedding is TOMORROW" and im like "bich fuk u" and farted.

[Fathom Zero]

http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69707698

thread bups

[Sethomas]

Elx- One of my favorite albums is "Haunted" by Poe. I have been told that it's ideal for your intentions. Just don't let it go past 40 minutes or so unless you belong to certain subcultures.

My driver's ed experience was significant to me because it was one of the first times when I got to be exposed to kids my own age, outside of my high school classmates. Most of my classmates took driver's ed during summer school, I took a course in a nearby town. I remember that I felt really old for some reason in that group. Granted, I was a sophomore and the other kids were mostly freshmen, but it seemed like they belonged to a totally different world. I thought about how weird it would be to date one of them. Nowadays, when I run into my high school classmates, the idea of dating with any of my nascent dreamgirls just seems incestuous.

Also, Hi Kahl and Emu. Among others, I guess.

[kahljorn]

hello

[Sethomas]

Are we all posting here because it is the time of The Gathering? Or are we just all indignant about our stupid friends with their stupid obsession with their stupid reddit?

[Emu]

since it seems like a flood of vets are congregating in this thread it must be time for another MOCK WARZ

[Esuohlim]

In only the last month and a half we've gotten I think four people back who haven't posted in ages (Rongi, Emu, Ninjavenom, Seth). It's like you are all turtles looking for a fuck and I-Mock is your Galapagos Island.

That probably doesn't make any sense if that one Rocko's Modern Life episode was based on false information >:

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

is there a STIHL KOMBI in YOUR tool shed?????

[k0k0]

Nobody here is wearing disco clothes, that I've seen, so I'm guessing this ain't the Galapagos.

[Ninjavenom]

i'm here for both the turtle fucking and reddit hate


also for the i-bapery theme

[Rongi]

i heard hawt chicks posted here and they posted her naked about how they're naked and hot and boobs

[Chojin]

i-bapery unites our people under a common flag

[ThrashO]

So when I lived in Seattle I used to steal alot of shit from the store. Like a ton. I wasn't making alot of money, was a full time student and was not on good terms with my parents.

So I was talking to this guy I work with about it (talking about drugs and other past experiences) and he got really offended saying shit like "It's people like you who cause businesses to run into the ground, I helped open a radio shack in the ghetto part of Durham and we could never make a profit because scumbags were CONSTANTLY stealing."

Who the fuck opens a Radioshack in the ghetto and expects to make a profit?

[Vyvyan Basterd]

What an ignorant fuck.

[Rongi]

so i basically went from not smoking weed for a year and a half to smoking weed pretty much every day multiple times a day

the marijuana got me in it spell

[HickMan]

Hey guys I'm still alive and still on my super awesome 'travel around Afghanistan' vacation!

Hope all is well

-Doucher

[Colonel Flagg]

Great news. You should keep a "travelblog" to rate all the "hidden treasure" B&B's around Khandahar. I can see it now: Kabul on $15 a day.

[Fathom Zero]

kabul and kabullets

Even though Kabulletz sounds Jewish.

[kahljorn]

i helped somebodymove and scored a bottle of johnny walker gold

[Grislygus]

I heard someone say Johnny Walker and Gold in the same sentence. Now I have a raging hardon

[Fathom Zero]

LA VIDA

[kahljorn]

lol

their room mate leftit so i was all, "GUESS hE LEFT THIS FOR ME."

what a dumbass

[Zhukov]

Here's me thinking you were rewarded for your hard work :lol

[Kitsa]

Ohio Amish splinter group attack enemy Amish to hack off beards. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/07/amish-beards-cut-off-amish-violence_n_999118.html)

They're calling it "Amish on Amish violence".

[executioneer]

a man named Mullet is inspiring people to do crimes related to hair

what a world we live in

[Zhukov]

Do they ride bikes? The Amish I mean.

[Kitsa]

Bikes and razor scooters.

[Kitsa]

Actually, I should also mention that most of the time when they travel around here it's either on tractors (they're allowed to drive tractors, some of them, so they use those in lieu of cars...we have a man who sells corn on a corner lot and hauls his whole family there and back on a tractor, going 5-10 mph on a busy street) or what we call "Yoder toters". Yoder Toters are those big vans that have a lot of seats, like what some churches use to haul people around. They're Amish taxis- the Amish pay people to drive them somewhere.

[Fathom Zero]

That's cheating, like the Jews using their special Shabbat elevators.

[Kitsa]

I live in the middle of Amish country, and there are Yoder Toters everywhere. The worst places are Walmart, Jo-Ann Fabrics and Meijer, which for out-of-area people is a walmartish store. Our Meijer has a hitching post out front as well, although I've only seen it used once.

A couple of weeks ago, we were stuck behind an Amish man on a tractor pulling his whole family in the trailer behind him, Beverly Hillbillies style. There was even an old woman in a rocking chair in the trailer. The scariest thing was that there were 3 small boys on a bench. There was no backrest on the bench and the seat was higher than the back of the trailer, and there was nothing holding them in. Every time the tractor would lurch forward, the kids would all rock backward and look like they were going to fall out, because the bench wasn't affixed and would tip. I kept expecting to see these kids' heads crack open like melons on the street in front of us.

And it's Sukkot, so expect to resent Jews eating outside, too.

[kahljorn]

a man named Mullet is inspiring people to do crimes related to hair

what a world we live in
:lol thats exactly what i said

[Esuohlim]

This one's for all my fellow synchtube CHUMS. I was listening to a podcast with Jon Hamm as the guest and he brought up the fight on Youtube between Rip Torn and Norman Mailer :lol

6AzmhorISf4

Except he thought it was real because he was like "it was crazy, people thought to bring CAMERAS and there were children present and it was pretty surreal"

[executioneer]

i think it was originally supposed to be a scene but one of them took things too far and they just kept the cameras rolling

[Fathom Zero]

That's what most people say. Rip Torn would make a good Jack Torrance.

[kahljorn]

fuck that guys name

its way too redundant

[ThrashO]

THE RIPPIN' AND THE TORIN'

YVtEX1J7tXQ

[Esuohlim]

Happy National Coming Out Day, all you sexy men ;)

[Fathom Zero]

;););)

[Esuohlim]

http://qpdx.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/national-coming-out-day-logo-top.jpg

lol

[Kitsa]

16 Zombie actors injured on movie set, costumes make it difficult to assess injuries. (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/44860172/ns/today-entertainment/#.TpSIkpsr1uE)

[Emu]

I have an interview tomorrow at a department store in the mall. Wish me luck >:

[Esuohlim]

Good luck >:

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I have an interview tomorrow at a department store in the mall. Wish me luck >:

I HOPE YOU GET ONE OF THOSE $5 MALL GIFT CARDS.

http://qpdx.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/national-coming-out-day-logo-top.jpg

lol

I'm going to bring a door frame to dance through at the Toasters tonight now.

[Rongi]

Got a 97 on my first German exam, y'all :hat

[Fathom Zero]

Das ist kein Deutsch forum. >:

[Rongi]

Fich dich, Fathom Zero >:

[Fathom Zero]

:eek

ET TOI, CONNARD

:deslangues

[kahljorn]

i like to think that said SUCK DICK, FATHOM

also I passed my drivers test today

[Rongi]

My German Professor teaches us German curses on Thursdays. It's rather amusing hearing such a pixieish young lady say things like "Du hast keine Eier!" (you have no balls) or "Leck mich am Arsch!" (eat shit)

Did I mention i have a huge crush on my german teacher

[Kitsa]

"Scheisse!" The Real German You Were Never Taught in School (http://www.amazon.com/Scheisse-German-Never-Taught-School/dp/0452272211)

[kahljorn]

tell her you want to shit in her mouth

germans love that

[Rongi]

I must say, I've been picking up German at a pretty quick pace. English is starting to get spoken less and less in class, but I'm not getting lost at all. I'm considering declaring German as a minor

[Kitsa]

German's a quick stepping-stone leap from English.

Except for the German the Amish speak, I can barely make heads or tails of that. I think it's its own creature.

[Rongi]

tell her you want to shit in her mouth

germans love that


kahl have you ever pooped on a girl

i don't know why but something tells me you have

[kahljorn]

I AM A MYSTERIOUS CREATURE

[Rongi]

German's a quick stepping-stone leap from English.

Yeah, part of the reason I'm picking it up so easy is because of how similar a lot of the words sound to English. Learning the genders of words isn't that hard either,i find that often ugly sounding words tend to be male (herd, kühlshrank) and dainty words are female (brille, lampe). Also, i find it kind of amusing that pretty much all kitchenware is female

[Rongi]

i have never had any desire to poop on a female.

REAL TALK: the first girl i ever had sex with wanted to incorporate blood and bleeding into our sex life. i was always like "no way, man"

[Kitsa]

There are a few "false friends", though...my brother still cherishes the photo my parents took of him as an adolescent in Heidelberg, pointing proudly to a "FAHRTGASSE" sign.

[Kitsa]

what I get for reading while sleepy




REAL TALK: the first girl i ever had sex with wanted to incorporate blood and bleeding into our sex life. i was always like "no way, man"

[kahljorn]

darkvare: soy de mexico

:lol he's a soy beaner

[executioneer]

HOORAY NEW AVATAR

[kahljorn]

ITS goNNA gIVe PEOPLE SEIZUReS

[executioneer]

awesome seizures?

[Kitsa]

out of context he kind of looks like Bald Bull

[captain516]

WHERE ARE HIS NIPPLES

[Aaarg]

some store in a different town had three brands of hard cider i've never had so i had to buy them all

it will be an apple-centric evening

[executioneer]

were any of them Spire

[ThrashO]

your avatar makes me have to poop >:

brb

[HickMan]

UPDATE:

The smell of Polish Sausage and Afghan poop is NOT a palatable combination.

[Aaarg]

nope, not spire. original sin "premium" (10 bucks for a six pack it'd better be good! it won't be!), samuel smith's (organic!), and blackthorn (which just makes me think of the game. this one is an english import so i bet it's dry dry dry dry)

[k0k0]

I wonder how long spiders take to starve. Because apparently they can live floating in water for 5 days. I found a spider that was a little less than the size of a dime sitting at the bottom of a plastic cup I had in my bathroom. I poured a little water in and he came to life, but never really pulled himself out. So he just floats there and paddles around if I make the water move. And it's been like this for 5 days.

[Fathom Zero]

Book lungs are so cool. And green.

[executioneer]

nope, not spire. original sin "premium" (10 bucks for a six pack it'd better be good! it won't be!), samuel smith's (organic!), and blackthorn (which just makes me think of the game. this one is an english import so i bet it's dry dry dry dry)
i just ask because spire's made by a microbrewery in downtown olympia (and is pretty tasty)

[Grislygus]

STOP DISTRACTING FROM AND IGNORING HICKMAN >: GRR

[Grislygus]

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

[Fathom Zero]

text cock pics to her

no face, though

that's a rookie move

[Grislygus]

She damn well already knows what my cock looks like

[k0k0]

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

I've taken pictures of my girlfriend sleeping, and then photoshopped things into it that were silly. It's creepy.

[Grislygus]

I'm definitely getting 'Play Misty For Me' vibes from it, and the fact that my sleeping face looks totally stab-able in the picture doesn't help

[Fathom Zero]

text knife pics to her

no face, though

[Grislygus]

WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING TO GIVE HER IDEAS

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/Cutleryad.jpg

BEST PLAN EVER

[kahljorn]

send her a picture of your penis as though it were a knife and tell her you're going to stab her in the vagina

in self-defense

[Grislygus]

SO would that mean I photoshop my hand gripping my dick like a knife, or photoshopping it onto a knife handle

[k0k0]

Photoshop your arm onto your cock and then a small knife into your cock's hand.

[Grislygus]

YES

[Esuohlim]

I just found out that my friend's uncle was the guy that got stabbed in the Real World sketch on Chappelle's Show :eek

lol

This sounds totally made up. I wish I could remember who I was talking about :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

I do that to my girlfriend when I try and tell her she's sleeping and snoring and she tries to tell me she's just resting her eyes.

[Esuohlim]

She damn well already knows what my cock looks like

BUT WE DON'T, GUS

WE DON'T

MAYBE PUB LOVER DOES THOUGH :(

[Grislygus]

HE SURE AS HELL DOESN'T

[Fathom Zero]

I'm sure he's created numerous photo-realistic composites.

[Grislygus]

LIKE THE ICELANDIC SCULPTURES OF CTULHU, THE AWE-INSPIRING, TERRIBLE GREATNESS CAN ONLY BE VAGUELY HINTED AT


MY COCK SENDS THE UNWORTHY STRAIGHT TO FUCKING AZATHOTH

[Fathom Zero]

It crooks to the right.

[LordSappington]

Some lady came in to the deli today, with a helper dog. My co-worker immediately blurted out "Why do you have a dog? You don't look blind."
Holy fuck. He's said all kinds of dumb shit, but I've never actually been embarrassed by him before that.

[Kitsa]

Helper, sic balls.

[LordSappington]

http://www.toplessrobot.com/H.E.L.P.eR.png

[Zhukov]

Haha

[HickMan]

It's okay that people ignore my posts. I have very little bandwidth where I go normally on this grand Afghan tour and I rarely have the opportunity to re-load pages. Just as long as some people read it and possibly get a 'heh' out of it.

[ThrashO]

I just read Ligeia by Edgar Allen Poe. Like. as a book. like made out of paper. I think, i like, book. book. good. bok. i like.

[Esuohlim]

Why is Jimmy Pardo's "Never Not Funny" podcast only occasionally funny? >:

[Esuohlim]

Granted I only listened to the very very first five episodes, but I think Pardo is obnoxious and the other two dudes are the funny ones.

I remember watching Pardo's Comedy Central special way long ago and finding it obnoxious too. But everyone loves him! I don't get it.

Other guy: It's what they call "close betting".
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING "CLOTHES BETTING" BECAUSE I LIKE THE SHIRT I'VE GOT ON, THANK YOU VERY MUCH :HAHAHAHA"

He does that constantly.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

It's okay that people ignore my posts. I have very little bandwidth where I go normally on this grand Afghan tour and I rarely have the opportunity to re-load pages. Just as long as some people read it and possibly get a 'heh' out of it.


IT IS MY DUTY AS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN TO READ YOUR POSTS.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Granted I only listened to the very very first five episodes, but I think Pardo is obnoxious and the other two dudes are the funny ones.

I remember watching Pardo's Comedy Central special way long ago and finding it obnoxious too. But everyone loves him! I don't get it.

Other guy: It's what they call "close betting".
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING "CLOTHES BETTING" BECAUSE I LIKE THE SHIRT I'VE GOT ON, THANK YOU VERY MUCH :HAHAHAHA"

He does that constantly.

Thats a terrible joke but I'm not above using it either.

[Fathom Zero]

I'd use it around every person I'd recently met and immediately didn't like.

[Esuohlim]

There's another one too where it's like

Other guy: I swear to you, it was like the dude was lying under oath!
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE GUY WAS LYING FACE-DOWN ON THE FLOOR WITH A BIG PIECE OF PAPER ON TOP OF HIM THAT JUST SAYS "OATH" IN BIG BOLD LETTERS :HAHAHAHA

This is a professional comedian we're talking about here

[ThrashO]

holy shit thats terrible

NOW WHEN YOU SAY HOLY SHIT ARE WE TALKIN' ABOUT A PRIEST BLESSIN' ONE OF MY JOKES :HAHAHA

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

There's another one too where it's like

Other guy: I swear to you, it was like the dude was lying under oath!
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE GUY WAS LYING FACE-DOWN ON THE FLOOR WITH A BIG PIECE OF PAPER ON TOP OF HIM THAT JUST SAYS "OATH" IN BIG BOLD LETTERS :HAHAHAHA

This is a professional comedian we're talking about here

Sounds more like a part time dad.

[Esuohlim]

I'm totally going to be the dad that makes jokes like that all the time :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://www.dadsbadjokes.com/

:(

[Fathom Zero]

http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/9844/tumblrls5w4efgai1qzywl3.jpg

[Rongi]

That song marks the exact time David Bowie started to suck :(

[Babs]

"Oh baby just you shut your mouth"

Haven't been around here in awhile and let me say, I think of you guys. Been just really busy with a crap job as of late, hopefully in a week or less I'll be able to come back on here and post away and entertain you guys with my boring old self. TAKE LOTS OF CARE IN THE MEAN TIME!:halloween

[Shyandquietguy]

Next you'll tell me you won't post again.

[kahljorn]

so guys

if i pay my registration at the DMv will i get my tags right away?

or will it still come through the mail

[Shyandquietguy]

They will do it by mail.

Because they hate you.

[ThrashO]

kahl how old are u

[Shyandquietguy]

Old enough to ignore you.

[kahljorn]

YEA

so i might as well just pay this shit online then

[Shyandquietguy]

So?

Pay it online so you can ignore getting them from the office.

[kahljorn]

my tags are like 2 years old. so i wanted to get them from the office if there was a chance i could get them right away, to avoid being on the road with really old tags. ;/ i dont want to get pulled over.

hence why i asked if i would get them right away :(

[Fathom Zero]

I petition to schedule a Synchtube for the near future.

[Shyandquietguy]

Kahl, your car is old enough, buy a new one.

;(

Fathom good luck with that on the internet.

[executioneer]

my tags are like 2 years old. so i wanted to get them from the office if there was a chance i could get them right away, to avoid being on the road with really old tags. ;/ i dont want to get pulled over.

hence why i asked if i would get them right away :(
well i don't know CA but in washington they give em to you right away

[ThrashO]

IF YOU TOLD ME HOW OLD U WERE I COULD TELL YOU HOW TO GET THEM RIGHT AWAY >:

[kahljorn]

I FEEL AS THOUGH IM ABOUT TO BE DECIEVED

thanks willie i guess ill drive down there tomorrow and pick them up