I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Pentegarn]

High C of course, or she is not a real opera singer

Remember if the mirror above the bed isn't cracked you're doing it wrong

[Kitsa]

1) Sanity is especially rare in opera singers, and

2) My elderly Jewish aunt calls the place "Lawn Goy-land".

[Esuohlim]

Rongi you are a such a hipster

[Rongi]

2) My elderly Jewish aunt calls the place "Lawn Goy-land".

A lot of people, when they first meet me, think I'm Jewish. Especially now that I have a big bushy beard.

And a big nose :(

[Rongi]

Rongi you are a such a hipster

SHUT UP >:

[Kitsa]

I love it when people want to assume the best of you :love

[Rongi]

Oh wait, I'm wearing a flannel shirt and tight fitting jeans and glasses

I just spent 2 and a half hours in a coffee shop talking to a girl about erudite subjects

And I have an Elvis Costello avatar

...welp

[Rongi]

I love it when people want to assume the best of you :love

one time in queens a crazy, coked out, anti-semetic eastern european guy tried to attack me because he thought i was a jew. it was funny seeing him get tackled to the ground by a bunch of security guards. i was in a pharmacy

[Emu]

What

Was he just like "JEWWWWW" and leaped on you?

[Fathom Zero]

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEB

[the_rapist]

are you sure it was a real eastern european guy and not sacha baron cohen

[Rongi]

What

Was he just like "JEWWWWW" and leaped on you?

I was standing in line to buy blank CD-Rs for a reason that escapes me now. In walks this Eastern European lookin mother fucker, anti-semite written all over him. He wears an unwashed t-shirt with a deer on it and smells like a gym locker room. He looks at me and some other dude in line and says, "HELLO SHLONKY DONKY (to the other guy), WHAT'S UP JEWISH JEW (to me)!?"

He walks up to me.

"Shalom!"

"Uh, I'm not Jewish."

"Oh really? What are you then?"

"That's none of your fucking business."

That made him rill mad.

"Fuck you, you homosexual! I'll kick your ass! You see this? *grabs his shirt and pulls it out, as if there is a badge on it* CIA!"

At this point security comes over and he got really violent and they threw him to the ground.

It was a very strange beginning to my day.

[Fathom Zero]

hay milhouse

vC2vqPHUw7s

[elx]

Is this Pram Maven shit over now? That shit was boring as fuckkkkkkkk.
and the rep system too?? good job guys, only took a few months >:

[Rongi]

hahaha pram maven is back guys, after like one day!

[executioneer]

was he in the who's online thing or something

[Rongi]

yeah

[Rongi]

srsly this place is so much better without a bunch of "U SUCK" "NO U" posts cluttering everything up

granted i was a big contributor to that but hey i was all stressed out about tests and i needed something to relieve stress so f u j*rk

[Fathom Zero]

I AM NOT AS I HAVE BEEN

[Rongi]

what

[Fathom Zero]

I don't feel well in the head.

[Rongi]

take a hot bath

[Fathom Zero]

Baths are gross. I'm pretty sure the answer is copious amounts of Southern Comfort.

[Kitsa]

some woman called me a dirty mick when I worked at the hospital. Probably due to the red hair and freckles. To the best of my knowledge, though, not Irish at all.

[Rongi]

Baths are gross. I'm pretty sure the answer is copious amounts of Southern Comfort.

uh if you're not feeling mentally sound i don't think alcohol is going to help you

[Fathom Zero]

As Irish as Danny Kaye.

[Fathom Zero]

uh if you're not feeling mentally sound i don't think alcohol is going to help you

If I go a day without suicidal ideations, then I'm not myself, unfortunately. It's not even depression at this point, so I'm going to drop this conversation. Everyone knows I'm a down fuck already, so no reason to say more.

I'M GETTING A ROLL OF REDSCALE FILM DEVELOPED TODAY. I HOPE THE IMAGES TURN OUT. ALSO BUYING A RAZOR AND GETTING A JOB AT A PIZZA JOINT.

WORKING AT A PIZZA JOINT WAS ONE OF MY LIFE GOALS, IF ANYONE WAS KEEPING SCORE. MY FINGERS ARE CROSSED.

[Kitsa]

irishness aside, I objected to being called dirty.

You are a down fuck, FZ, but most creative people are.

[Rongi]

I have been depressed like my entire life but only recently have I sort of gotten over it. Making yourself super busy and surrounded by people who are way more intelligent than you kind of distracts you from how much you hate yourself.

In my case, at least

[Rongi]

man this thread is kind of a bummer right now

http://thegonzochimera.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/cool-dog.jpg

There we go

[Pram Maven]

hahaha pram maven is back guys, after like one day!

I was figuring out your SPAM problem and analyzing what caused it. Milhouse should have the answer now, unless he reverse-Rongi'd me. :suicide

[Pram Maven]

later.

[Rongi]

seriously guys, pram has left here like a bajillion times and said he was never coming back and he was going to kill himself and blah blah blah. shouldn't he be banned by now for such tomfoolery?

I know I've left here a bunch of times in a huff but keep in mind I was also like 15 years old. Pram is a grown ass man and this is kind of embarassing

[Pram Maven]

I figured out your spam problem in terms of why it is happening and how you can stop it cold.

First, why it is happening: when you linked to my thread in your sigs, the resulting link juice was building up and interpreted as spam by... you guessed it, SPAMMERS!

They saw all those thousands of yummy backlinks from I-mockery to Google to mean that the I-mockery/forum was A) very popular, B) very trusted by Google, and C) very vulnerable to being spammed. In essence, they saw SERIOUS LINK JUICE to exploit, and when they discovered those links were influencing Google's SERPS, they started posting. They may even have piggybacked on the backlinks.

To fix this, all you need to do is:

1. Place a "no follow" attribute in the source code of the front page of the forum; and

2. Make threads and posts invisible to anyone not logged in. You could technically make the thread titles still visible, but spammers could still use the keywords to target I-mockery or its affiliate sites and outgoing links. As long as the "no follow" tag is on the forum but not on the site itself, it will still be easy for people to find both the site and the forum on Google.

In the meantime, disabling posts signatures to posters not logged in will stop *most* of the spam. Those other two things will stop it all the way. This is what I discovered we could do on another forum I was on and it really worked.

I realize this will interfere with your ability to Google bomb me from I-mockery, but you can't have it both ways. Either torment me through your sigs, or put up with the SPAM that you are unintentionally generating.

I did not encourage this situation, it just sort of happened concurrently with my exit. Consider it "The Pram Maven Curse". Anyway, all of the above info should keep your spammers at bay.

Good luck,

Don Carlson
PROBLEM SOLVER


Seriously... Do it.

[Emu]

Welp

[kahljorn]

how about a more advanced captcha instead

i don't want to lose all of our precious google links :(

[Emu]

wat

PS: see you tomorrow.

would give you a pickle, but

[Pram Maven]

how about a more advanced captcha instead

i don't want to lose all of our precious google links :(

That won't work because a human can still join the site manually and automate their posts. It doesn't take much to set up a site. You have to hide the very reasons a spammer would want to advertise here, and that means killing the backlinks, which are a form of spam themselves (if only self-referential spam).

In summary, the Google links are what are encouraging the spammers in the first place.

[Rongi]

how about a more advanced captcha instead

i don't want to lose all of our precious google links :(

i didn't even know spambot technology has evolved to the point where captchas are now kind of useless.

is it possible that there are a bunch of chinese/indian people filling out those captchas and writing those ads themselves?

[Emu]

PROBLEM SOLVER

[Pram Maven]

Also, just in case you think I said that to rescue my search results, I've moved on and don't post as "Pram Maven", "prammaven", or "Don Carlson" anymore. The only thing I have to gain in this is the good feeling that comes from helping someone who is struggling.

[Pram Maven]

With that, I'm out. -|-

[Emu]

Also, just in case you think I said that to rescue my search results, I've moved on and don't post as "Pram Maven", "prammaven", or "Don Carlson" anymore. The only thing I have to gain in this is the good feeling that comes from helping someone who is struggling.


:confused:

[Emu]

With that, I'm out. -|-

Alright dude looking forward to tomorrow's post.

[Colonel Flagg]

With that, I'm out. -|-

Don't believe it for a second.

Funny thing is that if he just let it go and posted what he knew (which is not funny) he would probably not get targeted so much.

Just my opinion, thinking out loud. He probably won't read this anyway. :\

[Sam]

I THOUGHT THIS SHIT WAS OVER?
I AM AN IGNORANT FUCK.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

TIME TO GET SHITFACED. NO BABY OR GIRLFRIEND.

[Fathom Zero]

QUIDDITCH MUGGINGS

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

MUGDITCH QUIGINS

Fathom, did you get the Beta for BF3?

[Fathom Zero]

yep yep yep

On the PC.

The game is okay. Imbalanced to favor the defenders, but okay. Quite pretty on my computer. Battlelog is utter horseshit and the reason I will never buy BF3, which is a tragedy since I was really looking forward to a grey-and-brown-bullet-explosion-gritty-manshoot for the first time in a while. And the console versions look like balls by comparison.

[ThrashO]

Baths are gross. I'm pretty sure the answer is copious amounts of Southern Comfort.

Bath's are only gross if you pee in them.

poop is ok though.

[executioneer]

so i have important news re: pram maven, guys

[Sam]

Ugh.

[executioneer]

the news is he's banned

[Sam]

Yay

[executioneer]

http://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/banmaven.jpg

[Emu]

banned from the forums...

but he still has the password... to my heart

[Emu]

just flipped on the i-bapery switch

woah

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

yep yep yep

On the PC.

The game is okay. Imbalanced to favor the defenders, but okay. Quite pretty on my computer. Battlelog is utter horseshit and the reason I will never buy BF3, which is a tragedy since I was really looking forward to a grey-and-brown-bullet-explosion-gritty-manshoot for the first time in a while. And the console versions look like balls by comparison.

Get it on the box ass/

[Fathom Zero]

I don't even have Xbox Live Gold. If you want to send me one of those nifty 12+1 month subscription cards, I'd be more than happy to.

[Esuohlim]

http://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/banmaven.jpg

lol

I sure hope his infraction points are actually his phone number

[Esuohlim]

OH NEVERMIND IT IS A NERD NUMBER :x

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[ThrashO]

It's like crawling out of the sewer's to see daylight.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I don't even have Xbox Live Gold. If you want to send me one of those nifty 12+1 month subscription cards, I'd be more than happy to.

I would have given you the 2 day gold pass to live with my black ops but I traded it in. I bet the person who bought it won't even try it. What a waste.

[executioneer]

OH NEVERMIND IT IS A NERD NUMBER :x
i held down 9 as long as i thought was necessary, and that's what came out :shrug

[Rongi]

GW should banned too, considering he's from portland too

Nah jk hes ok i guess. He should prob stop doing heroin tho

[Shyandquietguy]

If only Pram knew the secret to acceptance was drugs.

[executioneer]

all you need is drugs wah wah wawawa -j.lennon

[kahljorn]

:lol at pram trying to get the google links removed

[Pentegarn]

Well it was a long journey but probably the right thing to do, we had done about all we could to him, maybe he can now move on with his (attempt at a) life.

[Kitsa]

he tried to help there at the end :(

sort of.

In his Pram Maven-y way.

[Emu]

he tried to help there at the end :(

sort of.

In his Pram Maven-y way.

I didn't actually read his post but I think what he was trying to 'help' with was a backhanded way to get i-mockery to not appear from google searches and hurt traffic. a dangerous undertaking

[Pentegarn]

I didn't actually read his post but I think what he was trying to 'help' with was a backhanded way to get i-mockery to not appear from google searches and hurt traffic. a dangerous undertaking

Close, he was trying to get all the links in our sigs that pointed to his threads removed. (which 'coincidentally' has been his goal since his return.)

[ThrashO]

REPUTATION UPDATE (CONGRATS CHROJON)

[Emu]

:lol

[Sam]

GIVE HIM LOTS OF PICKLES THRASHO BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HE'LL TAKE IT AWAY FROM EVERYONE.

[Kitsa]

That could've been, too. I was distracted when I read it.

[HickMan]

Hey guys how's it goin? I'll be leaving tomorrow evening for what will be the better part of two months. I'll post on here if I ever get the chance, who knows. But I <3 you all.

[Emu]

Be safe :<

[HickMan]

I just found this on stumbleupon:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3166/2941742470_bb610ac2aa_z.jpg

P.S.

Thx Emu! If I get dead the few friends I have on facebook that are on here will find out!

[Chojin]

Hi Mods,

I figured out your spam problem in terms of why it is happening and how you can stop it cold. You might not want to post this in public in case I'm right and you have to admit that I'm not stupid to everyone you've convinced.

First, why it is happening: when you linked to my thread in your sigs, the resulting link juice was building up and interpreted as spam by... you guessed it, SPAMMERS!

They saw all those thousands of yummy backlinks from I-mockery to Google to mean that the I-mockery/forum was A) very popular, B) very trusted by Google, and C) very vulnerable to being spammed. In essence, they saw SERIOUS LINK JUICE to exploit, and when they discovered those links were influencing the Google SERPS, they started posting.

To fix this, all you need to do is:

1. Place a "no follow" attribute in the source code of the front page of the forum; and

2. Make threads and posts invisible to anyone not logged in. You could technically make the thread titles still visible, but spammers could still use the keywords to target I-mockery or its affiliate sites and outgoing links. As long as the "no follow" tag is on the forum but not on the site itself, it will still be easy for people to find both the site and the forum on Google.

In the meantime, disabling post SIGNATURES to posters not logged in will stop *most* of the spam. Those other two things will stop it all the way. This is what I discovered we could do on another forum I was on and it really worked.

I realize this will interfere with your ability to Google bomb me from I-mockery, but you can't have it both ways. Either torment me through your sigs, or put up with SPAM. Whether you realized it or not, Tadao's idea to massively link to my thread is what caused the spammers to target this forum in the first place (call it Google Karma), so you can blame him for the current spam problem.

To reiterate, spammers must have first seen that the signatures were hiding something, and then they saw the backlinks underneath. Their spiders might even have "hitched a ride" on them, discovered that Google indexed the links in its results and said "Wow, I-mockery is a gold mine! Get your picks".

I did not encourage this situation, it just sort of happened concurrently with my exit. Consider it "The Pram Maven Curse". Anyway, all of the above info should keep your spammers at bay.

Good luck,

Don Carlson
PROBLEM SOLVER

PS: Hit me up on Yahoo sometime when you get this working. I like to fix things and solve puzzles. It would be great if, in the process of leaving, I actually made a positive contribution to the forum you hate me on. ;)

all we have to do to solve our spam problem is delete the things pram maven doesn't like. it's so simple and logical when you think about it. consider this post my official apology.

[ThrashO]

CONSIDER IT "THE PRAM MAVEN CURSE" BECAUSE OUR FORUM WILL FOREVER BE RAPED BY SPAM BOTS.

YOU CAN ALSO CALL ME THE CHAMELEON.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Oh man :lol I wish Pram would go hang out with that crazy guy Rez brought up.

[Emu]

call it Google Karma

[Emu]

link juice

[Kitsa]

Hickman- next time you're stranded at Bagram let me know. I gots the hookup, sometimes.

[Kitsa]

Also, there used to be some sort of thread for this but my brain's so burned out from last week that I can't remember where it was. So here's this

link to clearance monster paint-your-own-bobblehead set (http://www.target.com/p/Cast-and-Paint-Mix-and-Match-Monsters/-/A-10628360).

[kahljorn]

i bet pram maven posted a link to this website on like a spam bot index or something

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

or he interfaced with the spambot system like the end of the matrix.

[Shyandquietguy]

Aw man, Hickman. I am cutting a pizza in your honor. Quarters or eighths?

[HickMan]

Hickman- next time you're stranded at Bagram let me know. I gots the hookup, sometimes.

I'll keep that in mind. I stay on BAF most of the time on one of the SOTF compounds. I don't normally leave unless it's absolutely necessary. The rest of Bagram is horribly gay. "Hey where's my salute?" "We're in a goddamn WARZONE". I never understood it.

And Shyandquietguy...what kind of pizza?

[Shyandquietguy]

Digerno four meat ultimate pizza.

[Kitsa]

turkey potpies, cheap white wine and some oldschool Dr. Who, here. Shaping up to be a mighty classy evening.

[k0k0]

I'll be back when I stop hallucinating.

Love,
k0k0

PS. What the pickle?

[ThrashO]

or he interfaced with the spambot system like the end of the matrix.

HUMAN YOU PLEASURE ME WITH YOUR ASSORTMENT OF ALPHABET CHARACTERS. I WISH TO PRESENT YOU WITH A PIXELIZED CARTOON DRAWING OF CUCUMIS SATIVUS INFUSED WITH FERMENTED ETHANOL TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS OF JOY.

THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. ACCEPT THIS -> :)

[Zhukov]

Hickman- next time you're stranded at Bagram let me know. I gots the hookup, sometimes.

That really sounds like you are offering sex there, Kitsa.

[HickMan]

I's takes what I's can gets

[Kitsa]

Wasn't offering sex, just so we're clear on that. I was offering a contact who flies out of there all the time.

[Kitsa]

Also, what you can get? Thanks.

[HickMan]

ANYWAY, what does your contact do exactly? Does he defend FREEDOM?

[Kitsa]

Freedom and alcohol, I believe.

[k0k0]

My panic attacks are back after being gone for years. All cuz of this fucking surgery. I hallucinate for 3 days straight, then get panic attacks that send me to the hospital. And my nose smells weird (like bad body odor) and yellow/red bloody mucus keeps coming out of my mouth hole. This bites.

[Shyandquietguy]

Does he fly to Thailand frequently?

Koko: :x aw man I am sorry to hear that. :(

[k0k0]

The worst part about it is, when I came out of the hallucinations, I realized that I had cut my hair to look like a lesbian and shaved off one side of my mustache/a lot of my beard. I had to cut the rest to even it out.

[Chojin]

My panic attacks are back after being gone for years. All cuz of this fucking surgery. I hallucinate for 3 days straight, then get panic attacks that send me to the hospital. And my nose smells weird (like bad body odor) and yellow/red bloody mucus keeps coming out of my mouth hole. This bites.

quickly, make some more rom hacks while you're inspired

[k0k0]

incoming:

Super Dick Fuck Asshole Bros Part 3: Revenge of the Nazi Pussy on Crystal Meth

[Emu]

sounds rad

[Fathom Zero]

I WANT TO BE A DRUG SNIFFING DOG SO I CAN SNORT COKE ALL DAY LONG

[Emu]

So, is Pub Lover dead or what

[Fathom Zero]

He leaves and comes back weeks/months at a time.

[Fathom Zero]

Milhouse, you should listen to Roy Montgomery or Dadamah. I think you'd really enjoy them.

[Pentegarn]

incoming:

Super Dick Fuck Asshole Bros Part 3: Revenge of the Nazi Pussy on Crystal Meth

You know by the third one they lose sight of what made the first two so great. It used to be about the SuperDick Fuck Asshole Brothers until they went all commercial :p

[Rongi]

40 OUNCE IN MY LAP AND I"M FREEZIN MY BALLS

so apparently i told a bus full of people that my ex girlfriend liked anal sex last weekend while i was really drunk

ugh

[Pentegarn]

That makes me :lol because I am thinking of how that must have looked from the sober passenger perspective.

[Rongi]

Ok so here's what happened

Some girl I was with was talking about how anal sex is gross and blah blah blah (idk how the subject came up, i hope i didn't bring it up because that's such a grimey thing to bring up out of nowhere). so i VERY LOUDLY started to talk about how much my ex liked to have anal sex. granted, i was far from the only drunk person on the bus so hopefully everyone forgot about it

but those sober people must have been really grossed out at what an asshole i was being

basically i'm never drinking again ever

[k0k0]

Hey, you're just bragging dude. Nothing wrong with that. And really, it doesn't matter if nobody you know was there. I was taking this chick to see some stupid statue of stevie ray vaugn downtown because she really loved him. There were tourists all over the place, so I pulled my dick out and pissed all over the statue. I wasn't gonna see any of them ever again and I didn't know any of them. And the chick was revolted, but hey, whatever.

[ThrashO]

I HAVE SIMILAR EXP.

I finished up this fence today for a customer, then got stoned out of my mind. My other job calls and goes "Wanna work tonight at 5?" I say "Sure"

So I'm relaxing and I look at the clock and go "Fuck i'm gonna be late!" so I'm getting all my shit together, I have the wrong shoes and the wrong shirt, and I show up to work...

...2 and a half hours early.

Then I go check out petsmart for a good 2 hours (it was totally worth it), come back and this is how my first table goes:

"I'll have the filet, medium rare, asparagus and a house salad with honey mustard no onions or tomatoes."

"what"

It's the first time I've smoked in about 3 months, and it was a good $20 worth all at once. I originally wasn't working until 8PM at night the next day (32 hours to myself)

[Kitsa]

Every time someone brings up anal, all I can think of is that Tucker Max story where he plied a woman with seafood and booze and she ended up shitting all over him or something.

[ThrashO]

Every time someone brings up anal, all I can think of is that Tucker Max story where he plied a woman with seafood and booze and she ended up shitting all over him or something.

boner initiate

[Rongi]

tucker max deserves to have all the poop in the world piled on top of him

[Kitsa]

There will always be Tucker Maxes in the world.

[ThrashO]

so im reading posts on i-mockery forums and as im laughing I laugh so hard I start shitting wtf

[Kitsa]

I think Pram Maven needs to come back so you have a sense of purpose again :(

[k0k0]

I couldn't watch always sunny the other night. My face hurts really horribly when I smile or laugh. I can't just watch half of it and then come back to it, I gotta watch the whole thing because of my selective ocd. So I got to the part where frank sings the song "I wouldn't do it with anyone younger than my daughter, can't be kids, they gotta be big" about 10 times. I eventually just said screw it and dealt with the pain because I really wanted to watch the episode. I hope this face pain goes away fast. I can't watch anything funny.

[ThrashO]

k0k0 I feel for you bro. When I was 12 I got into a bike accident and destroyed my upper lip and nose. I had 20 stitches in my nose, lip and inside my mouth and my dad thought it was a good idea to take me to see Scary Movie.

When the gym teachers nut sack fell out I felt about 10 stitches pop.

[Colonel Flagg]

so im reading posts on i-mockery forums and as im laughing I laugh so hard I start shitting wtf

I-mockery - the sure cure for constipation. :bestthread

k0k0 I feel for you bro. When I was 12 I got into a bike accident and destroyed my upper lip and nose. I had 20 stitches in my nose, lip and inside my mouth and my dad thought it was a good idea to take me to see Scary Movie.

When the gym teachers nut sack fell out I felt about 10 stitches pop.

:sympathypain

[Zhukov]

I thought you said that your teacher's nut fell out of its sack.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

THE I'S HAVE IT

[Aaarg]

i spent the last month making trips back to my previous house from the new one, slowly moving everything.

so, several trips into the mountains. with each trip, the greenery got less green and the weather dropped a few more degrees.

i fucking hate the fall. fuck you. dicks.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I couldn't watch always sunny the other night. My face hurts really horribly when I smile or laugh. I can't just watch half of it and then come back to it, I gotta watch the whole thing because of my selective ocd. So I got to the part where frank sings the song "I wouldn't do it with anyone younger than my daughter, can't be kids, they gotta be big" about 10 times. I eventually just said screw it and dealt with the pain because I really wanted to watch the episode. I hope this face pain goes away fast. I can't watch anything funny.

You definitely shouldn't watch it until fully healed then.

k0k0 I feel for you bro. When I was 12 I got into a bike accident and destroyed my upper lip and nose. I had 20 stitches in my nose, lip and inside my mouth and my dad thought it was a good idea to take me to see Scary Movie.

When the gym teachers nut sack fell out I felt about 10 stitches pop.

:ONENIGHTINCHYNA

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

i spent the last month making trips back to my previous house from the new one, slowly moving everything.

so, several trips into the mountains. with each trip, the greenery got less green and the weather dropped a few more degrees.

i fucking hate the fall. fuck you. dicks.

I love the fall but we only get like 2-3 weeks of it a year. The seasons here are WINTER, WINTER, WINTER, CONSTRUCTION.

[Emu]

Esuohlim question: Why is the Milhouse in your signature normal flesh colored instead of yellow. I just noticed that. >:

[Supafly345]

FUN FACT: Camacazio's blog is the top google result for "BONERS AHOY"

[Aaarg]

i hate winter it makes me want to die

Esuohlim question: Why is the Milhouse in your signature normal flesh colored instead of yellow. I just noticed that. >:
is it still hugh laurie? you know, house?

[Colonel Flagg]

FUN FACT: Camacazio's blog is the top google result for "BONERS AHOY"

Is he going to sic the "Google Police" on us?

[Kitsa]

Winter is three months of solid pain. Boring, dark, can't go anywhere or do anything, cold, depressing pain.

I try to temper this with the thought that that leaves 9 months that aren't brutal, but it doesn't help much.

Also, I have a molar that I just -know- is just about to crack in half. I've been losing chunks off it for a while and it's begun that low electrical hum that signals trouble. As I think that particular one is more metal than tooth, this won't go well. That's adding to my particularly depressed state atm.

Why do they have to make those delicious nature valley peanut butter granola bars as hard as fucking cement :(

[k0k0]

I'm down to 180 pounds. I eat once a day and since it's only gotta be soft food and no dairy, I've been pretty much eating a bowl of potato salad once a day. Maybe an egg or two when I take my antibiotic. I am trying to drink apple juice to get a few fruits in there, but god damn, I just want to be well. This year is really sucking.

This is the complaints thread right?

I swear when we all get old and if we're still posting on this board, this is gonna be a sad, sad place.

[executioneer]

MY NEW HIPS GIVING ME TROUBLE :imockery2020

[Fathom Zero]

I'm still 130 lbs wet.

[k0k0]

I was 150 at 20 and I looked like a skeleton. I don't wanna get back down there. Unless it's next halloween. That could be scary. Anorexics have it so easy on halloween. Loin cloth and instant skeleton.

[Fathom Zero]

I fit into tight spaces. :D Now excuse me while I finish off this bowl of pizzas.

[Kitsa]

When I was a little kid, I was really skinny and had long, gangly legs. My parents enrolled me in this modeling class/charm school sort of scenario and I was the youngest one there (and I hated it). One day, they had a discussion about what we all hated about our bodies. I remember some teenage girl saying "Oh, I hate how when I sit down my thighs just plop and spread out", or something like that, and looking down where my thighs were so skinny that even resting on the chair they didn't spread out.

Yeah, that was the last time I was skinny, basically.

[Zomboid]

I think I'm getting closer to 170. I was around 150 for a while there, and I kept getting told that I looked unhealthy :\.

Being 230 at 15 years old and 5'6 in height was pretty gross. Note: I haven't been 5'6 for a long time.

[Supafly345]

So you must be like 6'4 then if we are using the canadian pubescence cycle.

[Fathom Zero]

So we're doing the fat/sick bit now, huh?

[Kitsa]

I don't understand your question.

[MarioRPG]

I'm still 130 lbs wet.

I'm the same and unmotivated to change! :hi5

[Fathom Zero]

I don't understand your question.

The cyclical internet message board conversations. Pretty soon it'll come back to school/work and how stupid they are!

[Zomboid]

You could always post a dozen shitty music videos in a row. Or some shitty art. Or some disgusting transvestite. Y'know, stuff that really matters.

[ItalianStereotype]

Let's talk about gingers

[Zomboid]

I haven't been feeling well, braw. You try'na make me hurl, bro?

[ItalianStereotype]

Aw yeah, 6000 posts and it only took me 9 years to do it!

[Zomboid]

http://winniecooper.net/flores/pics/freckled%20girl.jpg
:puke

[ItalianStereotype]

let's discuss gingers on the internet

why are they

[Zomboid]

I hid my Achilles' heel for 9 years. Huzzah!

[k0k0]

When the freckles look like war paint, it's bad, but when they're really light and their hair is that sweet shade of red. Man, bonerific.

[Zomboid]

I remember being so grossed out by gingers when I was a kid that I refused to play tag or any other contact game with them.

[k0k0]

The ginger guys still kind of weird me out though. Girls though, are very good stuff.

I mean, look at this dude.

http://i.imgur.com/REVWE.jpg

I always hated him a lot more than clarissa did. Not that I ever watched that show.

[Supafly345]

What are you a nazi.

[Fathom Zero]

You could always post a dozen shitty music videos in a row. Or some shitty art. Or some disgusting transvestite. Y'know, stuff that really matters.

rvfSTZv-56M

cIVWjKdhTr8

i6lfU2F276c

i5U8JjF_laA

WEa8ASXxbvc

[Fathom Zero]

Granted - that's not a dozen, but I think that's enough if you're into that sort of thing.

[Esuohlim]

I-MOCKERY CHAT: BONERS GOODBYE

[Fathom Zero]

http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/6104/happydogw.jpg

and with that

[k0k0]

So since I've been predominately stuck in bed for most of the week, I started writing random shit. This led to me writing a story. My friend wants to work with me to do an rpg based on the story. He's in school learning programming, plus he's an artist. My idea was to do it kind of old school with hand drawn backgrounds and also pixelated sprites resembling the jrpgs like Lunar, Vay, and Albert Odyssey that I loved back then. I'm only part way through the story, but another friend tells me that I should just make it a book. Both think the idea behind the story is pretty great and how I'm writing it is good. I've never written anything before, but it's pretty daunting. I may just write the basics down, then go in and add a bunch of the details if I decide to turn it into a novel.

[Kitsa]

I just spent over an hour working on my outside Halloween display shit and none of it works right, dammit.

Even the fog machine I bought doesn't work right. I had it all rigged up to float over a cemetery display with this big winged Grim Reaper flapping overhead, and all it did was loudly blow a big puff of wax-scented smoke into the neighbor's garage before going back into a hibernation repeat "cycle". The Grim Reaper is supposed to have flashing red eyes, howl, and flap his wings. Three brand new battery changes and an annoying-as-fuck screwed-in panel later, he does nothing. I figure it's probably wiring, but had to swap batteries a few times to be sure. Now, if I want to work on him and figure out what isn't connecting right, I have to cut him down from the precarious system of zip ties holding him perfectly in place.

Fuck.

[Rongi]

I have to read a 26 page paper on plagiarism by tomorrow, because we're getting quizzed on it

What the fuck

[k0k0]

I want kitsa as my mom. My mom always remarked that the neighbor's halloween decorations were devilish and complained to other religious neighbors about them. I still got to go out and get candy at least.

And did they just give you the paper today? Because that sounds like a lot of work for one night.

[Kitsa]

dammit I'm only 34 :(

[Esuohlim]

I have to read a 26 page paper on plagiarism by tomorrow, because we're getting quizzed on it

What the fuck

"PLAGIARISM IS BAD"

FULL CREDIT

College :rolleyes

[k0k0]

dammit I'm only 34 :(

You're a mom though.

[Colonel Flagg]

Fun fact - Kitsa could be my daughter. :olderthandirt

[Chojin]

i have to work in a group in one of my game design classes, and one of the kids in it says he's "mostly a designer and artist, but can program too". today i looked at his portfolio and he draws like chris-chan and his flash programming is on par with pope lazer-tron.

[Kitsa]

I went to an art show where a woman arranged wood chips in piles on pedestals in a manner that apparently meant something to her. They were called things like "sorrow", "spirit of the mountains", that sort of thing. I mean, really woodchips, not driftwood sculptures or anything.

She told me that it was "something called" ephemeral art. It kind of looked like piles of mulch. But then, I make dumb shit out of food, so who am I to judge.

[k0k0]

I went to an art show where string was arranged in swirly designs around the room with photos of hands doing different string formations at various points. Free beer though.

[Supafly345]

Knowing so many of you guys are going back to school both makes me feel better about going back, and makes me feel like this place is full of people who don't know when to quit.

I wasted my early adulthood.

[Chojin]

http://www.i-mockery.com/pope/pope.html

[Emu]

:lol It links to the old ezboard.

[Rongi]

and makes me feel like this place is full of people who don't know when to quit.

f u

[Rongi]

And did they just give you the paper today? Because that sounds like a lot of work for one night.

Tbh we got it last night but I didn't feel like reading it because it's 26 fucking pages about how plagiarism is bad

really, college, you needed 26 pages to tell me not to plagiarize?

[kahljorn]

PLAGIARISM IS VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS IN COLLEGe

ive probably had like 20 classes where i had to write a report or some shit on plagiarism

[ThrashO]

PLAGIARISM IS VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS IN COLLEGe

ive probably had like 20 classes where i had to write a report or some shit on plagiarism

I had to do that once and I just copied some guys shit off the internet and my professor was like

"GOOD"

[Zomboid]

FUN FACT: Camacazio's blog is the top google result for "BONERS AHOY"

Is he a teacher now?

[Rongi]

so turns out the quiz was actually on succession and disturbances in a forest located near the school. something i studied for maybe like 20 minutes. i really need to step my shit up this semester :(

oh and some questions about chi-square tests but that shit is easy

[Rongi]

Also here's a video I think is funny for some reason
uoREOpany_Q

[Supafly345]

Is he a teacher now?
He's a research assistant in a mad science lab. The parts of the year that he is attending classes though he has to teach courses or something for his degree I think.

[k0k0]

I just had the splints removed from my nose. It hurt like fuck. The doc said I'd have a heightened sense of smell for a while. I can smell everything now and it sucks worse than when I couldn't smell anything. I'm seriously smelling shit a mile away. Every room I enter smells differently in my house. I went to the barbecue place and it was like I was shoving bbq up my nose.

[Rongi]

Haha thats like the worst super power ever

[Aaarg]

i'd love to take bbq up the nose (not really)

i dated a girl that claimed that if she stopped smoking cigarettes her sense of smell would be heightened and "the world stinks too much" so she used that as an excuse not to quit. she was also crazy.

[k0k0]

Dude, if it doesn't stop, I may take up smoking. That's actually a good idea. I'll give it a month. It truly is the worst super power. Everything has a smell and I'm smelling them all at once.

[Esuohlim]

PEOPLE ARE BITCHING TOO MUCH IN THIS THREAD

NEGATIVE REP FOR ALL

[k0k0]

I smell an asshole move.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:lol

[Esuohlim]

MY THIGHS WERE TOO SKINNY. NOW THEY'RE TOO FAT.

MY COLLEGE CLASSES ARE THE PITS.

I'M GETTING NOSE SPLINTS.

MY HALLOWEEN DISPLAY IS FALLING APART.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOVE.

I SMELL TOO MUCH NOW.

SAM WON'T GIVE ME THE NUDE PICTURES OF DRUMMING4BUDDHA.

BOO HOO HOO

[Esuohlim]

y'all can suck some goddamn lemons

[ThrashO]

k0k0 i just farted really bad can u smell it

[executioneer]

hey milose my lifes going great!

[executioneer]

also you forgot OH BOO HOO THE PICKLES SYSTEM IS GONE

[Kitsa]

I went to Foy's today. I don't know if I've just been going too much and there's less novelty factor or the fact that they now have NO CAMERAS signs all over the place or what, but it was slightly less fun than usual.

They added some shit and I'd like to see them try and stop me from taking pictures from the middle of the street. I'll upload them and stick them on my old Foy's thread.

I did get a strobe light, because everyone needs one and if my display's not going to work the right way maybe I can at least light it in a spooky manner. There weren't any more wtfbuses (I think I bought them all), but I did find the oooolllld 80s version of a Balzac that hadn't been touched since 1989. Thing looks like it came out of a time capsule. I was going to stick it on ebay but if anyone's interested, let me know.

I also got a sticker for the lid of the toilet that makes it look like it's open with spiders crawling out of it, that was like $2.

[executioneer]

also you forgot OH BOO HOO THE PICKLES SYSTEM IS GONE

YOU CAN HEAR EM GOING BOO
WA WA HOO HOO HOO
WA WA HOO HOO
BOO HOO
WA WA HOO HOO HOO
WA WA HOO HOO
BOO HOO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO
IT'S PRISONER CHRISTMAS

[Rongi]

SAM WON'T GIVE ME THE NUDE PICTURES OF DRUMMING4BUDDHA.

PICTURES THAT SAM NEVER INTENDED TO SHOW Y'ALL TO BEGIN WITH :picklehat

[Rongi]

hey milose my lifes going great!

oh yeah what's so great about being you lately, jerk >:

tbh my life is pretty good compared to people who live in like, angola or something.

[b_squared]

Millhouse needs a post about cupcakes, unicorns and happiness sprinkles.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

PICTURES THAT SAM NEVER INTENDED TO SHOW Y'ALL TO BEGIN WITH :picklehat

BRING THOSE TO THE FRONT OF THE TABLE.

[Rongi]

hey can one of you weirdos explain why posting pictures of cheeseburgers or hamburgers or whatever is a banable offense

thanks

[Kitsa]

It was funniest when he came back with double cheeseburgers after the ban

I was waiting for the triple cheeseburgers

[k0k0]

It's the only food that makes chojin hungry. And making chojin hungry makes chojin fat. And chojin being fat is NOT an option. Chojin wearing a dress is.

[k0k0]

YOU CAN HEAR EM GOING BOO
WA WA HOO HOO HOO
WA WA HOO HOO
BOO HOO
WA WA HOO HOO HOO
WA WA HOO HOO
BOO HOO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO
IT'S PRISONER CHRISTMAS

This is just the kind of post I would have pickled.

[kahljorn]

It's a very complicated international issue, rongi, that I'm afraid I just don't have the time to discuss right now. I'm sure there is plenty of literature available on the subject in your school's library.

[Kitsa]

Today I discovered an awesome newspaper called "The Slammer". When I saw it on display, I couldn't believe it was real.

Now I have a dilemma because I don't want to encroach on MewBarios' blotter thread. It's its own entity.

So basically I have pics of it that are funny but I don't know where to put them.

[Rongi]

make a new thread, duh

[Rongi]

It's the only food that makes chojin hungry. And making chojin hungry makes chojin fat. And chojin being fat is NOT an option. Chojin wearing a dress is.

lol i bet chojin only eats almonds and fruit or something gay

CHOJIN YOU ARE A BIG GAY

[kahljorn]

he only eats hamburgers at specific times of the month when his diet allows it

like when he's on his period

[executioneer]

his hamburger period

[executioneer]

dude bleeds ketchup for seven days

[kahljorn]

if he doesn't keep his vagina fresh and clean, then his vagina gets all mustardy.

[Rongi]

he's got sesame seeds all caught up in his vag hairs

[Rongi]

my name's chojin i wear dresses and pictures of hamburgers knot up my ovaries

[kahljorn]

i gues its really my fault. I didn't consider that i might be complicating his pregnancy

[k0k0]

The neighbor's complain that the burger grease runoff around chojin's house is clogging the storm drains. Apparently to sate his burger intake, he bathes in the stuff rather than eating it most of the time.

[kahljorn]

so thats why he has such womanly soft skin

[Kitsa]

fuck, it's like an insult barn-raising.

[Sam]

PICTURES THAT SAM NEVER INTENDED TO SHOW Y'ALL TO BEGIN WITH :picklehat

THE FIRST TIME I EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THEM SHE CALLED ME AND WAS LIKE, "ARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARAR" AND WAS LIKE, "YEAH WHATEVER" AND THEN GUITAR PLAYED AND I WAS A SOCK PUPPET.

CUZ THIS MY MMMYYYY UNITED STATES OF WHHHAATTEVVERRRRRR.

[Rongi]

man reading through old chat logs (WHEN I SHOULD BE STUDYING) with my ex girlfriend kind of makes me want to die

[Rongi]

BUT THIS THREAD ISNT ABOUT HOW SAD WE ARE

THIS THREAD NEEDS TO BE LESS FAGGY

SO INSTEAD ILL POST ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BUTTS

CLICK FOR NSFW BUTT

http://files.brobible.com/archive/Buzz/NataliePortman/natalie-portman-nude-hotel-chevalier1.jpg


man that's a good butt

too bad that's like the only good part of that gay movie

[Rongi]

i should've probably put that in spoilers but w/e

[kahljorn]

THATS WHAT MY ASS LOOKS LIKE

:(

[Rongi]

how the hell do you have a girl butt >: ?

my ass is hairy and awful

[Rongi]

MILHORSE CHANGE THE TITLE TO REFLECT HOW THIS THREAD IS NOW ABOUT THE BUTTOCKS

DO IT

[k0k0]

Pretty sure milback doesn't give a shit about how you feel about butts.

[Rongi]

was that pun intentional

[Rongi]

BECAUSE HE CARED WHEN I TURNED THE TIDE OF CONVERSATION TO BONERS, KOKO

HE CARED THEN

[k0k0]

I may just be an old fart, but I don't get why you want this topic changed to be about butts. It's fine as boners.

[Rongi]

but butts give me a boner, so it's not like we're straying too far off the path here

[Pentegarn]

i-mockery, now with more nudity! :lol

[Esuohlim]

Rongi why you got to be an ass man, breast men get all the perks like a secret menu at Taco Bell and discounts on candy

[Esuohlim]

Also the fact that Jason Schwartzmann got that close to Portman's butt makes me all sorts of peeved

[Rongi]

Boobs are cool, if you're like 15 years old :rolleyes

Butts are where it's at

[kahljorn]

butts are where the boners at

[Sam]

I COULD PUT MY BONER IN SOME BUTT

[Sam]

IF YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I MEAN

[Esuohlim]

Whatever man you could be looking at a picture of a nice firm butt and then be thinking about all the depraved things you want to do to that butt you know just get it all nice and WHOOPS THAT'S A PICTURE OF KAHLJORN'S NICE FIRM BUTT :x :x

With boobs you know what you're getting into

[Sam]

DONT GET ME WRONG

I COULD PUT MY BONER IN SOME BOOBS TOO

[Sam]

IF YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I MEAN

[Fathom Zero]

sup

i heard there were butts

[Zhukov]

The bigger the risk, the bigger the payoff. Butts win by a high margin.

[kahljorn]

Whatever man you could be looking at a picture of a nice firm butt and then be thinking about all the depraved things you want to do to that butt you know just get it all nice and WHOOPS THAT'S A PICTURE OF KAHLJORN'S NICE FIRM BUTT :x :x

With boobs you know what you're getting into

YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WEre GETTING INTO?

YOU IGNORANT FUCK

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

BUT THIS THREAD ISNT ABOUT HOW SAD WE ARE

THIS THREAD NEEDS TO BE LESS FAGGY

SO INSTEAD ILL POST ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BUTTS

CLICK FOR NSFW BUTT

http://files.brobible.com/archive/Buzz/NataliePortman/natalie-portman-nude-hotel-chevalier1.jpg


man that's a good butt

too bad that's like the only good part of that gay movie
:lol
Thats the only part of the movie I liked too. But I loved that butt.

[Colonel Flagg]

Dammit, 10K I was looking for an airhorn! >: