I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Pub Lover]

:pagebrak

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I need to lose me some pounds too. Carrying baby carseats has my arms better again though. My body frame is lithe to begin with so I have popeye arms.

[Colonel Flagg]

I need to lose me some pounds too.

I thought breastfeeding was supposed to take care of that. :confused

[Kitsa]

Those stupid seats, I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that crap anymore.

[Chojin]

Carrying baby carseats has my arms better again though.

yeah brah curl those heavy baby seats. gotta feed them 5" pythons.

[Colonel Flagg]

Trademark that sucker, Bill. It could be bigger than P90X. :eek

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Speaking of which. I don't know what my girlfriend falls asleep to overnight but there is always something stupid on the same channel in the morning when I wake up. This morning it was a weird ab crunch informercial where they working ab crunching on the beach. Zombie nation was playing in the background.....then sandstorm by derude kicked on right after.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

yeah brah curl those heavy baby seats. gotta feed them 5" pythons.

They're also like 14 INCH PYTHONS born from MONSTER MOUNTAIN.

[Pub Lover]

Ban

Uh guys, doesn't this count as a ban circumvention? Again? He's been banned twice now. On two other accounts.

Just say'n.

are you kidding? fartin's pretty much the cause for that rule in the first place

i just never give enough of a shit to do anything about it :picklehat

He is playing off the fact that using my face as an avatar makes one immune to being banned. Don't fall for it! :eek :ban

[Tadao]

I'm just saying happy birthday because it's polite. :)
So yeah, you don't really mean it, you're just using someones happy occasion to try to look cool. Rude.

[Tadao]

Also, fuck you Wompti. :eek

[Womti]

http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/9711/1287808866342.gif (http://img442.imageshack.us/i/1287808866342.gif/)
http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/9711/1287808866342.gif (http://img442.imageshack.us/i/1287808866342.gif/)

[kahljorn]

I came home from school yesterday and there was a note and my girlfriend left me :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Awwwwwwwwwww :( :( :( :(

What happened?

[Tadao]

Were you guys legally married? I hope not, things get messy. Also, sorry dude. :(

[kahljorn]

i dont really know what happened... things have just been tough and we've been bickering a bit, but we didn't really have a mjor fight or anything. think she's just unhappy.

thanks guys :( she wasn't just my wife but my best friend and now I'm so sad and lonely :(

[Fathom Zero]

So I made a Reuben just now and it turned out pretty good.

You should do that. Sandwiches are a good way to feel good about a shite day.

[Pub Lover]

Mister Jorn, your lady may have been kidnapped by stalker girl. :eek

[Tadao]

Don't buy any Hizzy. I'd hate to think of you as a dead thing.

[Colonel Flagg]

Also, fuck you Wompti. :eek

Thanks, whoever laid the smackdown. :)

[Tadao]

I wanna try and make everything I write on I-mock a link to a very important thread. It will probably be a giant pain in the ass, but well worth the effort it it keeps the thread number 1 in google.
(http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20178)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

If you want to hit me up or anything just let me know Kahl.

[Kitsa]

I'm sorry Kahl. It deserves more than a note.

[kahljorn]

nah its my fault cause when she'd try to break up with me in the past I always talked her into staying...

[Tadao]

Maybe Brak can talk some sense into her.

[MLE]

:pagebrak

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/189439_10150161039294758_577129757_6461628_1410670 _n.jpg

I need a name for my new fish. The fish has a pearly round spot on his head, so I've been asking for regal-sounding names. The two first suggestions have been Beauregard Fitzgerald Humperdink III, and Captain Scaly Boots.

Any other suggestions?

[Shyandquietguy]

Loch ness hair monster?

Danzig?

[Tadao]

Spot

[executioneer]

KING CONAN

edit: or maybe KULL OF ATLANTIS, because, you know, water

[King Hadas]

Maybe you could name him Prince Pearls of the Nation of Procrasta. He could be the muse that has inspired you to not finish your EQ segment.

[Pentegarn]

The Kraken

[Fathom Zero]

cwQndY1CTHc

new Justice single OMG HNNNNNNG

[Colonel Flagg]

Chrysticon the Philosopher of Evil

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:pagebrak

http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/189439_10150161039294758_577129757_6461628_1410670 _n.jpg

I need a name for my new fish. The fish has a pearly round spot on his head, so I've been asking for regal-sounding names. The two first suggestions have been Beauregard Fitzgerald Humperdink III, and Captain Scaly Boots.

Any other suggestions?

flim flammed a clam.

On account of the pearl spot.

[Pentegarn]

Chrysticon the Philosopher of Evil

Or the Skull Sealer

[executioneer]

GREAT CTHULHU

EDIT: NO WAIT LORD DAGON

[Tadao]

Sub Zero

[Pub Lover]

Duchess Safran de Poisson

[elx]

looks like bologna

[Tadao]

Sir Spot On The Head The First

[Colonel Flagg]

Or the Skull Sealer

I know! "Pool Boy"

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Looks like bologna

[elx]

MLE you better let our bologna out of that cup >:


what if somebody drinks him :(

[Sam]

MR MCGIBLITS

[Tadao]

Shartopuss

[Chojin]

lol so i was just reading the archives of jixby's comics and found this:

http://www.teenageneighbor.com/preteen/2006.09.01.html

...I drew this comic on MS-Paint; originally for the Paint Job. I drew this comic once, but my computer froze when I was about to click save (I hadn't saved ONCE during my drawing it). On another computer, I went to a message board that will rename nameless and asked for people to help me salvage my comic, because I was looking at a forced restart and losing everything. One member very pompously told me I was fucked, and ended his post with "make sure you save your work as you go next time." as if I wouldn't have learned that on my own. I replied "okay, dad." I was banned a few months later because a friend of mine died and I neglected to post pictures of some crummy Christmas presents I received in their dumb annual Christmas gift exchange. I'm not bitter.

(Commentary written February 21, 2011)

now we know the whole story

idk why he'd be upset though, i told him that we'd unban him if he just asked us.

[Tadao]

He said he isn't.

[Fathom Zero]

You know what someone means when they say they don't care, right?

[Chojin]

well i went and unbanned him anyway. all he had to do was give us a reason, which he never did ;p

[Tadao]

If he didn't come back when CiG petitioned for his freedom, well then I doubt he is done punishing us. :(

[Dimnos]

Mr. Gills

[Tadao]

fuck you

[Guitar Woman]

What up, motherfuckers?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Its super hard to find those french cigarette holders that aren't garbage GW. As a smoker I hope you realize this.

[Fathom Zero]

Opus X Fuente Fuentes

where it's at.


To smoke anything else is such a sadness.

[Chojin]

some students renting out equipment from me just got an eyeful of fathom's hairless, elfen figure

i'm gonna start banning for it unless people start mspainting clothes on him

[Fathom Zero]

hulolololol

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

some students renting out equipment from me just got an eyeful of fathom's hairless, elfen figure

i'm gonna start banning for it unless people start mspainting clothes on him

That was up onetime and my gf walked by and noticed it. I was right about to explain but she was just kinda like "Nope." and then she walked away.

Opus X Fuente Fuentes

where it's at.

To smoke anything else is such a sadness.

I think we met the lady on this website

in the top left while at this bar in california during comic con.

[MLE]

That was up onetime and my gf walked by and noticed it. I was right about to explain but she was just kinda like "Nope." and then she walked away.

That is fantastic.

[Guitar Woman]

Its super hard to find those french cigarette holders that aren't garbage GW. As a smoker I hope you realize this.

I was just buying these meerschaum pipes my local tobacconist sells and ripping the stems off, since they have a perfectly-sized indentation for holding cigarettes. Plus I could flip them upside down while they were loaded so they'd curve upwards and keep the smoke away from my nose and eyes, wheras most cigarette holders are straight and gay

They're really fucking tiny though, I've lost two of them because they fell out of my pockets. Also, I stopped buying them because I'm definitely really going to quit smoking as soon as I get a break from work and don't have to think for 3 or 4 days, and I didn't want to look like an HST poser even though I kinda am

as a bonus crafts project I'd usually make a new stem for the orphaned bowl so I could use it for wacky tobacky

[Fathom Zero]

I think we met the lady on this website

in the top left while at this bar in california during comic con.
:lol And Fuente Fuentes were cheaper when I had a couple. :eek

[Tadao]

some students renting out equipment from me just got an eyeful of fathom's hairless, elfen figure


:lol How do you explain something like that.

[Pub Lover]

some students renting out equipment from me just got an eyeful of fathom's hairless, elfen figure

i'm gonna start banning for it unless people start mspainting clothes on him

Crybaby.

[Esuohlim]

I always seem to be in a public place when liquidstatik posts pictures of what looks like 12 year old girls covered in cum

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I was just buying these meerschaum pipes my local tobacconist sells and ripping the stems off, since they have a perfectly-sized indentation for holding cigarettes. Plus I could flip them upside down while they were loaded so they'd curve upwards and keep the smoke away from my nose and eyes, wheras most cigarette holders are straight and gay

Damn bisexuals.

[kahljorn]

god damned bisexual fag handlers

[Chojin]

so youtube's april fools thing is a filter that makes videos look like silent films with jaunty music.

i immediately tried to watch some japan tsunami footage with the 1911 filter on, but it was disabled. :< however to my delight, 9/11 is still apparently fair game. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgm8dNJvM6k

[executioneer]

i still think this (http://greatjob.cookiethievery.com/bgm8dNJvM6k) is a funnier/more awful youtube filter :x

[Chojin]

today i-bapery is the default theme

all the cool members of this board will not notice a change in operations

[Mockery]

This action has been approved by the I-Mockery administration.

:ibapery

[Chojin]

next year's theme: i-cockery, starring pub lover and fathom zero

[Fathom Zero]

I need to take more pictures in preparation.

[LordSappington]

Nothing more calming than expecting to see a nice shade of gray and getting BLOOD RED

[Guitar Woman]

I think the change is appropriate, since it's not really the same forum as it was 5 or 6 years ago

Not entirely sure if that's a good thing or not.

[Fathom Zero]

it used to be so internet and now it's all jaded

[Guitar Woman]

We used to have fun here, man

[Tadao]

I remember 10 years ago. Things and stuff was so much different 10 years ago.

[Fathom Zero]

I DON'T WANT TODAY. I WANT YESTERDAY. BECAUSE YESTERDAY I KNOW. AND TODAY IS... NEW! >:

[Tadao]

Some of you might not remember this, but 20 years ago was very different from today. I mean I expected it to be the same and stuff, but fuck dude! Some how we lost control and things got all different and stuff.

[Guitar Woman]

I think the difference is that Tadao wasn't here being an unfunny, bitter jackass 6 years ago

[Tadao]

:lol I'ts funny watching a little kid grow into an emo and then into a hipster. What next GW? You gonna go all bad boy on us?

[elx]

april fools is internet-everywhere this year :(


youtube/google, thepiratebay, xkcd, thinkgeek, hulu, funnyordie (THIS WAS THE WORST,) urban dictionary, wikipedia.. were ok. maddox wins though.

[Guitar Woman]

Mind you, I'm not saying the forums were less full of assholes back then, but they were hilarious assholes with big fuzzy secret hearts.

I'm sorta just posting here because it's a habit now; most of the people I legitimately liked have vanished into the ether. I'm starting to miss Gadzooks, even, and I fucking hated that guy.

hipster
G2y8Sx4B2Sk&autoplay=1


Hipsters are disciples of the school of postmodernism, which, if my art history teacher is to be believed, has the general philosophy "Everything good ever has already been made, so why even bother to fucking try anymore? Let's just copy things other people have already done, but make sure to explicitly point that out so everyone knows it's ironic."

This is just such a pessimistic and self-defeating outlook on doing anything that it makes me want to vomit. Yes, if you write something, Shakespeare's probably beat you to it, yes, if you make a heavy metal song, Sabbath or Zeppelin did it first, but anyone who thinks that excuses them from putting every ounce of effort they have into doing something is a fucking loser.

So, fuck you, Tadao, I'm not a hipster. I fucking work for a living.

[Tadao]

So you're telling me that your excuse as to why you haven't made anyone here laugh in the last 2 years is because I post here. Wow dude, could you be any more of a pussy?

Why is it that hipsters always think they are different from other hipsters. A group of people who take things from the past and claim it as their persona is a vicious circle GW, try to move on to the next phase in your life before you get sucked deeper into the vortex.

[Tadao]

I did learn something new today. High school art teachers have PHDs is sociology.

[Guitar Woman]

I don't do comedy, son.

Also, yes, how dare I identify with the culture and circumstances I was around during my major emotional development! You bastard, you literally cannot ever look back fondly on things in the past! Which isn't to say that I'm not looking fondly at the present, either. There are always loads of cool and interesting things happening everywhere, you kinda just have to keep watch for them. I-Mockery's changed pretty drastically, though, and it doesn't push my buttons like it used to.

Also, calling people "hipster" is just an easy, lazy insult. It's become some sort of cultural taboo to be a hipster, and it's pretty much an all-purpose slur for anyone you don't like the viewpoint of. It barely has meaning anymore.

Of course, you're what, 40? Getting on in years? Not as sprightly as you used to be? Can't think straight? Meth'll do that, you know. I don't blame you for being bloated and workshy.

[Tadao]

I get it now! You were being ironic!

Only a hipster would think that his art teacher can give him definitive explanation on what a hipster is.

That would probably get you the hipster of the month award. You probably stole it from another forum though. :(

[Tadao]

I don't do comedy, son.

Calling someone 20 years older than you son. How ironic!

[Tadao]

lol, why did you edit that out of your post?

[Tadao]

Even your insults are recycled from other posters. :(

[The Leader]

Hipsters are disciples of the school of postmodernism, which, if my art history teacher is to be believed, has the general philosophy "Everything good ever has already been made, so why even bother to fucking try anymore? Let's just copy things other people have already done, but make sure to explicitly point that out so everyone knows it's ironic."

This is just such a pessimistic and self-defeating outlook on doing anything that it makes me want to vomit. Yes, if you write something, Shakespeare's probably beat you to it, yes, if you make a heavy metal song, Sabbath or Zeppelin did it first, but anyone who thinks that excuses them from putting every ounce of effort they have into doing something is a fucking loser.

So, fuck you, Tadao, I'm not a hipster. I fucking work for a living.
This looks like something a hipster would write.

[Tadao]

Kahl hasn't called me a fat mexican in a year. Maybe you can sneak that into your next post.

[Guitar Woman]

Aren't you a fat malaysian, though?

[Tadao]

That wasn't ironic at all. Of course you avatar of Hunter S. Thompson more than makes up for it. He's probably the reason you are so eager to smoke an elongated cigarette filter.

That's not hipster at all, then again, we haven't consulted you art teacher on it yet.

[Guitar Woman]

Why wouldn't I imitate one of my idols, Hunter especially? He's fucking awesome.

Before HST I pretty much didn't give a shit about anything and had no idea what I wanted to do after high-school. Then I started reading Thompson's shite, and he just made journalism sound so fucking cool; I think it's absolutely brilliant even when you take away all of his drugs, mayhem, and vulgarity. Chasing a story, compiling it into a comprehensible article, the back-and-forth with the editor that makes it near-perfect, that's all literally better than sex to me.

So, yes, despite all the crazy things HST did during his life, what really makes him a hero to me is that turned me on to the career I'd love the best; he also had a serious passion for everything he did, and I strive to emulate that more than anything else, but that won't stop me from also using mind-altering substances because I like the cut of their jib, or from using a stubby cigarette holder because I think it makes me look cool.

[Tadao]

I was just buying these meerschaum pipes my local tobacconist sells and ripping the stems off, since they have a perfectly-sized indentation for holding cigarettes. Plus I could flip them upside down while they were loaded so they'd curve upwards and keep the smoke away from my nose and eyes, wheras most cigarette holders are straight and gay

They're really fucking tiny though, I've lost two of them because they fell out of my pockets. Also, I stopped buying them because I'm definitely really going to quit smoking as soon as I get a break from work and don't have to think for 3 or 4 days, and I didn't want to look like an HST poser even though I kinda am

as a bonus crafts project I'd usually make a new stem for the orphaned bowl so I could use it for wacky tobacky

OH THE IRONY

[Tadao]

EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE SO I'LL BE LIKE SOMEONE ELSE.

[Guitar Woman]

You... haven't been reading anything I've been saying, huh?

[Tadao]

Another thing I learned today. Hunter S. Thompson was cool because of his look. His writing is not to be considered when trying to emulate him.

[Guitar Woman]

Well, no, of course you haven't been reading my posts, you're just an old tweaker spoiling for a fight, childishly slapping your ass and chanting schoolyard taunt songs.

[Guitar Woman]

Another thing I learned today. Hunter S. Thompson was cool because of his look. His writing is not to be considered when trying to emulate him.
His writing style is brilliant, but no, I don't attempt to emulate it. I write what comes naturally to me, not other people.

[Tadao]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/PageRack.gif

You... haven't been reading anything I've been saying, huh?

Why would I come to a comedy forum to read boring ass text about why you think you are not a douche bag.

I came here to play. What the fuck is wrong with you GW. Maybe it's not the site that isn't fun, maybe it's you that is keeping yourself from having fun.

Oh geez, WAY TO BE A FUCKING DOWNER ON APRIL FOOLS DAY.

[Guitar Woman]

Right, so I was completely correct about how immature and retarded you are. Thanks.

[Tadao]

Well, no, of course you haven't been reading my posts, you're just an old tweaker spoiling for a fight, childishly slapping your ass and chanting schoolyard taunt songs.


Spoiling for a fight? Oh god, how ironic of you to use old timey speak.

[Guitar Woman]

ironic!
ironic!
IRONIC
IRONY
ironic
http://parrot-training.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/827818_amazon_blue_front_parrot.jpg

[Tadao]

Right, so I was completely correct about how immature and retarded you are. Thanks.

I'm glad you found your dads pants and all, to bad he was probably a depressing little shit from Portland as well. You should move.

[Guitar Woman]

I was thinking Australia, a place that's cool as hell, but they're pretty huge bastards about video games down there.

Also, kratom's illegal. Fuck that, no way I'm giving up my best chemical friend in the world.

[Tadao]

They are also very racist, so you can forget about hooking up with anyone other than white.

[Guitar Woman]

Relationships are an overrated waste of time, so I'd be fine if there were no women on the enitre continent.

Not gay.

[Otto]

I have never tried kratom, I think it's time to head on down to my local head shop.

[Kitsa]

Not too long ago, I did read something by someone who was trying to half-emulate Hunter S. Thompson and the other half was maybe Tom Wolfe or some such shit. It was so annoying and miserable I couldn't get through five pages.

[Otto]

I love some of Thompson's work, but I have to admit I find myself full of contempt for people that try to emulate his writing. Plus cigarette holders, aviator shades and safari hats make people look goofy as fuck.

What was it that you tried to read, Kitsa?

[Kitsa]

This. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-christensen/acid-christ-ken-kesey-psychedelic_b_764629.html#s158227&title=A_Literary_Lion)

It was absolutely godawful, the part that I tried to read (which was an advance copy sort of so maybe he changed something, but I doubt it). It was immediately obvious that Liberties Were Taken and it was just basically painful to even attempt.

I also have one hell of a hard time with people who take themselves too seriously, and he does.

[Kitsa]

Also, the only person who could ever truly pull off HST was HST. Now people should stop. The jersey has been retired.

I read something about Bill Murray and Johnny Depp both becoming assholes after staying with him to do research for the biopics. They did okay in their own way, but people just focus on the wacky and lose sight of the whole picture.

I think one of my favorite HST events was the interview in which he was trying to speak rationally and calmly to a crazed Hell's Angel who was heckling him. You don't see any of that Hunter S. Thompson in all of the reenactments.

[Chojin]

gw has gotten much better at MOCK WARRRRing

[MarioRPG]

It's shameful how long that it took me to log in to this place just because I couldn't do it off the main page. I'm pretty sure that it wasn't worth it, however.
e: esp after reading this page and the one before it.

[Tadao]

Remember 2 pages ago when this place was so much more fun, we'll never get back to the good old days of two pages ago.

[executioneer]

nostalgia isn't what it used to be #thingsyogiberramighthavesaid

[Guitar Woman]

Remember 2 pages ago when this place was so much more fun, we'll never get back to the good old days of two pages ago.

Ok, this was funny.

MAYBE YOU'RE NOT SUCH A BAD GUY AFTER ALL.

[Dimnos]

Awww... You guys are going to make up. :)

[kahljorn]

THIS SHITS SO GONZXO

[executioneer]

oh man what if gonzo from the muppet show did a hunter s thompson impression

HOLY SHIT

[Esuohlim]

:lol

SECRAT EDIT: http://www.jdmfilmreviews.com/images/muppets-fear-and-loathing1.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

People don't know the difference between the James Bond Theme and the 007 Theme. It makes it a bitch to find the later on Youtube.

[Chojin]

the theme is switched back now. i hope all 6 of you affected appreciated this little event.

[Pentegarn]

There's that many around still?

[Fathom Zero]

Good morning, ever'body!

diV5Z33NVfQ

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Man, I have this awesome idea for art thread submission but I need to get a clip of something first.

[Fathom Zero]

Ugh. This Svedka tastes horrible. Though, I suppose it serves a purpose. So I'll take it.

[Tadao]

I'm sure it will taste better in 3015 or some shit.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Svedka is real bad. You might be able to mix it with some regular vodka though and have it taste a little better.

[Otto]

I think I'm going to quit smoking cigarettes, I can't find a brand that I like anymore. I started with Chesterfields and now I can't find them anymore, then I switched to Lucky Strikes and they disappeared, then I started smoking Drum tobacco and now I can't find it either.

[Tadao]

Bali Shag is a Drum replacement.

[Tadao]

Not a great one though, but the closest there is. I'm 3 weeks nicotine free as of today. Been on Chantix for a month. Chantix makes me really sick in the tummy so I'm going to stop taking it today.

[Guitar Woman]

American Spirit Periques are goddamned good, but you might have to look a little to find them.

[Phoenix Gamma]

My friend and I share the same birthday. We celebrated together last year.

This year, he's getting an early surprise party to "show how much we love him".

I was invited to said party :(

Instead of saying anything and being open about my feelings at the risk of being a huge downer, I'm gonna do the mature thing and stay home tonight, drink, and play video games in a downward spiral of depression. :D

[elx]

happy early birthday Phoenix Gamma!


http://i53.tinypic.com/1z4zvdf.jpg
here are some awesome friends to make you feel better!

[Zhukov]

I genuinely hate birthdays, so I actually don't mind when nobody remembers. Literally nobody remembers :(

[elx]

do you not have a facebook? :(

[Phoenix Gamma]

do you not have a facebook? :(
That's how I was invited :(

[All Hail Duke]

I genuinely hate birthdays, so I actually don't mind when nobody remembers.

word

[Esuohlim]

DON'T WORRY PHOENIX GAMMA I'M GOING TO LIGHT ONE UP TODAY IN YOUR HONOR :blunts

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I genuinely hate birthdays, so I actually don't mind when nobody remembers. Literally nobody remembers :(

Parently I'm a nobody :(

Happy birthday phoenix.

R npgeeds to fix the birthday calender cuz it y2ked fire real.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm at this dance club with bam margera with all these annoying people. These stuck up bitches kept getting in the way so I ripped ass next to them to knock them down a peg.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

How dare everyone else have something better to do than me.

[Fathom Zero]

The Svedka made me decide to sleep at noon. I'm just lurking around now. My apartment went to see Sucker Punch without me.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Man you're far better off at home. Watching sucker punch reminded me of lilith fair. The one chick looked like a hot ramza from tactics though.

[Fathom Zero]

lol

Maybe I'll watch it when it comes to the Redbox or something.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Its beautiful garbage.

[Kitsa]

I thought she looked like Holly Madison sort of.

I watched a bunch of war documentaries yesterday because THAT'S HOW FUN I AM

[Zhukov]

do you not have a facebook? :(
Barely. I try not to use it except when I really have to.
Parently I'm a nobody :(
I was only talking about people IRL. You Kitsa and Finland all noticed my birthday, so hats off for that.

[Zhukov]

This is what happens when you do something to Chojin and lose your rights to an edit.


I love war documentaries and find that WWII doesn't get boring no matter how much you know about it.

[Kitsa]

I watched one about Japanese internment camps in Arkansas, and a miniseries about Auschwitz, and some other stuff.

I also watched a bunch of John Waters movies.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I totally thought you said japanese internet camps at first

[Fathom Zero]

OH SHIT NEW SUPERJAIL

FKCN EXCITED

[Shrubfest]

My fish died.

It was 12 years old.

:(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:( sorry shrub. I didn't think fish last that long

[Esuohlim]

HONOR IT WITH A SIDE OF CHIPS 8)

[Shrubfest]

I buried him in the garden next to the other one. With stones and a plant pot over it so the cats won't eat him.

[Tadao]

Cause that's how your fish would want to be buried.

[Esuohlim]

http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/312/deadfishvv1.png

[Otto]

BURIAL AT SEA

[Kitsa]

I hate it when I accidentally click a millimeter off of the last page of the thread link and I get transported to the beginning and it's like OH DAMN IT

[liquidstatik]

Kay-kiokio cowboy
Kay-kiokio-hoo
Kay-kio-kio cowboy, cowboy, cowboy,
under the moon.

I was ridin' my horse
by the Rio Grandee
and all o' them coyotes singing
in a prairie symphony.

I was ridin' my horse
down by the Rio Grandee
when I seen me a cowboy, cowboy, cowboy,
ridin' toward me.

Kay-kiokio cowboy
Kay-kiokio-hoo
Kay-kiokio cowboy, cowboy, cowboy,
under the moon.

[Fathom Zero]

ysweHS31saI

OH JAM

[elx]

MnWlTyZLQhQ

DIS ONE IS STILL WAY BETTA

[Colonel Flagg]

I hate it when I accidentally click a millimeter off of the last page of the thread link and I get transported to the beginning and it's like OH DAMN IT

:fistbump

[Kitsa]

I'm also sorry about your fish, Shrub :(

This morning began a huge thunderstorm here and my big stupid horse of a dog won't pee when it's wet outside. But as soon as she's in, she starts whining about needing to pee again.

My daughter and I were going to get a ride somewhere at 11:30, and I was running behind, so the car pulled into the driveway just as I was standing in the pouring rain with the dog trying to get her to pee. The dog lunges for the car, thinking she's going to go for a ride somewhere, and I slipped in the mud and did sort of a weird and incredibly painful split. Like, my left leg was at 6 and my right leg was at 11. I thought for sure I was going to hear my hip snap, but I didn't. Hurts like a sumbitch, though.

So I had to haul my ass up out of the mud and sort of limp sideways into the house to get the dog put away and change my clothes. She never did pee.

[Ex Leper]

I'm starting to work on art related projects in my spare time.

[Pentegarn]

Weird weather today, it was about mid to upper 40s, but then light snow flurries came down. I thought I was losing it until a coworker called me across town about 10 minutes later and told me the same thing

[Kitsa]

Yeah, I was outside in a t-shirt washing windows this morning, enjoying the warm sunshine. By the time we were out of the movie at 1, it was really cold, and by the time we were in the restaurant at 2, it was snowing. Ohio can suck.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

We just got the flurries here too. They're gone now though.

[Esuohlim]

That teacher who slept with a 16-year-old student has an open Facebook wall if any of you want to post some hilarious shit like the rest of the internet

http://www.facebook.com/tinaamato

[Fathom Zero]

Arbeit nervt.

[Fathom Zero]

lol amanda bynes dead

[Fathom Zero]

died as a result of injuries sustained during an altercation with mixed martial artist Brock Lesnar.

[Pub Lover]

I'm still confused, but um... I'll try not to do whatever "Womti" did or does to garner the distrust, lol.
Welcome to the board, lol. :eek

[Pub Lover]

DYLAN'S NIPPLES!

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2011/dylanbrac.jpg

[Tadao]

:eek

[elx]

na na na naaaaa na na na naaaaaaaaaaa na na na

[Tadao]

Don't forget lady, I have access to your pics, Gimp. and an gif animator.

[Guitar Woman]

Welcome to the wonderful world of internet game criticism! We won't pay you for your efforts, and nobody is going to read your articles, assuming your editors even get off their fat asses and upload them within the next decade. Also, as we abhor anything that might discuss a topic in a thoughtful manner, we're going to have to ask you to keep your articles under 1,000 words.

And I could handle the first two, but oh, fencing with the big wigs about article length. It's like they're allergic to in-depth game exploration, and don't realize that we are, in fact, on the internet, an entity capable of essentially infinite data storage. They also seem to glean sexual pleasure from rejecting perfectly servicable shit. I thought the point of editors was quality control, so that you could bounce your work back and forth until they helped you pop all the zits and polish it to perfection, but I guess everything I learned in J103 was a big fat fabrication and they're really out to fuck you in the eye socket.

Maybe I should just start drinking again.

[Pub Lover]

The only editorial thing that Esuohlim pulled on me was to say he didn't want to post a hidden picture on his website using 'java bullshit' as he put it. :eek

[Pub Lover]

I am comparing what you said to my time pretending to be funny on the internet. :eek

[Pub Lover]

Rather than my day job in cowboy journalism where editors and journalists do their damn work. :eek

[Guitar Woman]

Oy, put in a good reference for me and I'll allow some buttsex.

I'm serious, too.

[Zhukov]

Welcome to the wonderful world of internet game criticism! We won't pay you for your efforts, and nobody is going to read your articles, assuming your editors even get off their fat asses and upload them within the next decade. Also, as we abhor anything that might discuss a topic in a thoughtful manner, we're going to have to ask you to keep your articles under 1,000 words.

And I could handle the first two, but oh, fencing with the big wigs about article length. It's like they're allergic to in-depth game exploration, and don't realize that we are, in fact, on the internet, an entity capable of essentially infinite data storage. They also seem to glean sexual pleasure from rejecting perfectly servicable shit. I thought the point of editors was quality control, so that you could bounce your work back and forth until they helped you pop all the zits and polish it to perfection, but I guess everything I learned in J103 was a big fat fabrication and they're really out to fuck you in the eye socket.

Maybe I should just start drinking again.

Seeing as this is probably just a large cry for attention, and seeing as I usually skip your more than one paragraph opinions on video games, I don't know why I am aksing you to post a possible link to this article. Post it somewhere and I'll read it and give honest criticism.

[King Hadas]

If you're serious about writing gw then you really shouldn't turn your nose up at word limits.

[Fathom Zero]

Oh god, you don't know the first thing about writing.



But, if you are serious, I highly HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest you get the book "Writing with Style" by John Trimble.

It's the single most important book I own. Seriously, you have no idea how much this will help someone like you, unless you're not receptive to criticism - in which case you're a lost cause, anyway, and it won't matter.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

lol amanda bynes dead


Her dog died, not her.

[Fathom Zero]

Her dog died, not her.

died as a result of injuries sustained during an altercation with mixed martial artist Brock Lesnar.

..

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I can't believe Brock Lesnar killed Amanda Bynes' dog.

[Pub Lover]

I keep getting this thread and the one below it mixed up and all I can see is ARE YOU EATING MAN PENIS.

..

[elx]

l9Vva1a0xdg
:boob stress reliever is probably not appropriate for work desks :(

[elx]

Maybe I should just start drinking again.
dude. whenever you say anything GW you always like a washed up british psuedo-intellect that's seventy years old and smells like dead smoke and spent his life working bitterly for 'the man' in order to support his secret hobby of collecting locks of hair.


which is dumb, because you're like a baby and not even old enough to drink.

[Tadao]

I'd give advice but then he would bring up my painful past of old age and meth abuse.

[Tadao]

:(

[Tadao]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/PageRack.gif

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

[Guitar Woman]

Oh god, you don't know the first thing about writing.

Thanks

Also Hadas, I realize word limits can generally be a boon to readability and shit, but I have this condition called being a horrible autistic that causes me to have to talk at length about everything or I will literally go insane. Also, I've been told I'm pretty good at it, and I could poop 800 words a week.

And sure, Zhukov, I'll link my shit up if I can get dipshit to post it tomorrow

[Fathom Zero]

Writing means nothing unless you're writing for an audience. Writing for yourself is meaningless. Why would you publish something instead of just keeping it in a drawer, then?

[Esuohlim]

Why do people write in journals and diaries then

[elx]

my association may also be from your usage of the word "oy" which, like zhukov, I didn't bother to even read before -- but it likely still influenced my thinking and made me biased towards british! interesting truth: even if we don't detect or consciously observe stimuli, our brain still processes it and communicates it across our minds. that process of filtering the stimuli has the ability to corrupt our thinking and has a temporary suggestive power over us.

for example, television producers could subliminally flash any image before us without us even realizing something had happened, if the length of the flash were short enough. the image could be of a glass of water, which we wouldn't see, but we'd probably still develop a sudden interest in thirst. or, they might flash cardboard and make us crave mcdonalds out of nowhere. not saying this is abused, but it has the potential to be! the same goes with sound too, and just about everything else.

it accounts for a lot of daily "coincidences" and spooks too, like when you "feel" that someone is behind you/or following you but you're not sure why. and then you turn around and they're there! it's because your brain was picking up on the sounds or change in temperature, or whatever, that would otherwise be undetectable within the human threshold. it then filtered that stimuli and sends you that thought as a warning, like, "hey dude someones about to stab you in the bum!"

or like whenever those neighbors in interviews are always like "Oh yeah, I always knew that guy was a creeper, I just saw something in him" blahblahblah, they think they all have superpowers but it's a very basic cognitive peculiarity that everyone does daily ;(

so even when you can't perceive, your mind does. and even when it can't tell you what's wrong, it'll still try to tell you that there's something. the lesson here is that you should always follow your instinct, even if it is out of the blue. unless you are watching television, then you should ignore all urges.

the other lesson is that psychophysics is awesome.

[King Hadas]

Also Hadas, I realize word limits can generally be a boon to readability and shit, but I have this condition called being a horrible autistic that causes me to have to talk at length about everything or I will literally go insane. Also, I've been told I'm pretty good at it, and I could poop 800 words a week.
Yeah, so talk about everything at length and then cut it down to a thousand words. If your gonna be a journalist then this is something you'll inevitable have to do so you might as well start now. Also, you edited your post, I don't know if it's better like this but it's certainly longer.

[elx]

but I have this condition called being a horrible autistic that causes me to have to talk at length about everything or I will literally go insane.
:(

[Guitar Woman]

Well, I could say it's equal parts for myself and for an audience, but that would be a big fat lie because I do my thing for a website where the sun does not shine and nary a reader is to be found, probably because of our crippling lack of spellchecker or any sort of coherent editing process. I think our guy pretty much clicks on word count and gives a yea or nea depending on how much he thinks it'll stretch the front page.

That's ok, though, because I just like writing so damn much that I will keep churning out essays on a weekly basis and devote all my effort to making them enjoyable and informative reads, even if they consistently remain unpublished and my ambitions are left to decompose under a juniper bush.

[Fathom Zero]

Why do people write in journals and diaries then

If you want the adulation of someone else, you can't be a flippant little bitch and do your own thing all the time. Does that sound better?

[Guitar Woman]

Also, yeah, Hadas, I've played that game in a lot of journalism classes. I think I might have a bizarre sexual fetish for the inverted pyramid and murdering inefficient words.

The major difference is that then, I had someone acting as a quality buffer, rather than having to look at everything with my disgusting malformed brain and trying to decide what should stay and what should go. I'm wildly inconsistent about how good I think I am, too, so some days I might just set fire to the entire goddamn thing and curl up in a corner telling myself I'm a hack over and over again.

I'm terrified of becoming George Lucas, basically. I fucking need someone to question me critically or I will inevitably create horrible, childhood-ruining butt shit.

[Fathom Zero]

You need to make better goals. That's what I have to do.

[Esuohlim]

I never understood people who wanted to be journalists. It's like you're basically writing about shit you don't care about because you have to, right?

[Guitar Woman]

It's only the coolest job in the entire fucking world, no biggie

[Esuohlim]

Yeah right, mang. I'm going to be an engineer, the job with the most lopsided ratio of salary/time actually spent working that you can imagine :picklehat

Besides being a goddamn bench-sitting professional sports player I guess >:

[Guitar Woman]

Well, I can't fault you for that, but I'm the kind of person who gets suicidal if he spends too much time not working.

I'm like a skinny Dwarf.

[Fathom Zero]

In my field, we neither get paid nor work! It's pretty great!

[King Hadas]

I think you have unrealistic views on editors GW, in reality they'd probably end up pissing you off. I wrote a review for this site awhile ago that Rog put up nearly unchanged except for a single word, I was surprised at how mad I was. I didn't say anything because it was just a bit of minutia and it would of been embarrassing to throw a fit over but still. I used to imagine I wanted to be a writer too but that shit's far too frustrating. Now I work at Walmart, and I couldn't be happier!

[Fathom Zero]

lol

[Guitar Woman]

I'm nothing if not tolerant of being shat on. How do you think I'm still posting here?

[Zhukov]

I'm going to guess that whatever you wrote an article about, GW, or what you have written articles about in the past, the topic has always managed to revolve around yourself. Your posts do nothing but talk about numero uno.

[Guitar Woman]

Not really, no. It's a video game column, not a fucking blog.

My articles are usually my subjective opinion, of course, so I'll say things like "I particularly liked the part where you had to fast-talk your way into the morgue and get rid of the pathologist so you could cut off and steal body parts at your leisure," but I'll only really talk about myself if it's to make a cheap self-deprecation joke. Which I should probably stop doing anyway, since everyone else has savagely beaten it into the dirt at this point.

I also talk about loads of other stuff all the time, but since you dickheads insist on constantly patornizing me I've got to do a lot of explaining. Well, I don't, actually, but that's lazy.

Either that or you don't even read it; by your admission, you disregard everything I talk about because of tl;dr, so it's more of a case of selective memory. Which isn't to say that I'm not a little whiny from time to time, but I'd rather work out my frustration with words, in a consequence-free internet environment, than by, say, going to town on someone with a sledgehammer.

[Zhukov]

I guess I'll reserve my judgement then.

[Fathom Zero]

World sucks, bro. Have a cigarello.

[Guitar Woman]

Rollin' blunts, writin' prose, fuckin' bitches

[King Hadas]

but I'll only really talk about myself if it's to make a cheap self-deprecation joke. Which I should probably stop doing anyway, since everyone else has savagely beaten it into the dirt at this point.

Self-deprecation is not a cliche, it's a legitimate literary technique that lets the audience know the writer doesn't think himself superior to the reader. I used it in my last post when I said I worked at Walmart (I'm actually unemployed ho ho ho). The technique can be overused though.

[Mockery]

Writing has been very good to me. I like it. So yeah, that's my take on the subject. :(

[Guitar Woman]

Ok, I'm not posting in this thread anymore, because I've ruined it something like 20 times already.

As compensation, check this out. http://www.doublefine.com/games/host_master/

Make him run around and turn things on and off, it's hilarious.

[Pub Lover]

:boob stress reliever is probably not appropriate for work desks :(
That is what secretaries and interns are for. Miss Elx, please come to my office. :eek

[Kitsa]

you people would have laughed your asses off at me trying to stand on a small stepladder that was slowly but surely sinking into the pea gravel version of quicksand.

[MLE]

consequence-free internet environment

..

[Dr. Boogie]

GW, if you're going to make post after post about your writing without linking to any of your writing, don't act surprised when people think you're a ponce.

[Pub Lover]

I somehow missed page 2979 happened until now. :eek

[Kitsa]

i approve of the word ponce.

[Evil Robot II]

http://sinkfullofdishes.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/bill-cosby-hooray-for-the-salvation-army-band.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Freddie Flintstone

[Fathom Zero]

i don't even know what this is about anymore.

[Evil Robot II]

This thread is about websites that allow remote linking pictures.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I also think you used to be a baller if you brought a whole dollar bill to a parking meter.

[LordSappington]

I personally think it's hilarious that the police maced that kid. Welcome to the real world, kid; you threaten someone with a weapon, and you get the MACE.
And his mom needs to get off her fat ass, stop blaming the police, and blame herself for letting her kid grow into a violent little ass.

[executioneer]

i know if i ever have kids i'm gonna mace 'em when they're bad

[Tadao]

What a weird way to bring up the kid macing. I saw it on the news yesterday and was laughing at the little shit. He needs his ass kicked to the point were he becomes retarded and can't do harm to others.

But seriously, I had to flip back a few reads to see who was talking about it. WTF.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I feel like they should have used a real mace.

[Sam]

I FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST PUT THAT KID IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH AND HUMBLED HIM.

[Dr. Boogie]

The story I read said that when the mom came to get the kid, the first thing she said was "well, you probably deserved it."

[Zhukov]

Funny, but there was a similar story here about a week ago, the only difference was that it was a little girl and she didn't deserve it. Also we call it pepper or capsicum spray.

[MLE]

cum spray

..

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:o

[Zhukov]

If you edited my post to say "... penis, or cum spray." then it still would have made sense.

[Tadao]

:orgasm

[Tadao]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/PageRack.gif

[Tadao]

:pagebrak