I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Darryl]

They need to let you go ahead and have the baby. I can tell you're worn out.


What's the reason behind this again?:
:pagebrak

[Zhukov]

Certainly sounds like an adventure. Why do bad things always happen to you Kitsa?

I went to a free concert tonight that was two hours of hippie soul music shite. I had to stand up the whole time while those around me sat on chairs. When I got home I found out I didn't get the great job I had applied for.

I have tickets to see DJ Yoda tomorrow so it's ok.

[Kitsa]

I think my doctor has something to prove.

Sorry you didn't get the job, Zhukov :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Going to wreck the West Coast at comic-con. Getting a hotel at least for a night or two but I might stay there a few more and sleep in the trash or something.

Willie: That was going to be my costume too :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

here's my itinerary, it looks like i'll hit the so called "rust belt"

January 28 Cleveland, OH @ Peabody's

Peabody's is awesome and they have really cheap tallboys of PBR.

[Otto]

I've caught another god damned respiratory infection, so now I'm stuck at home with no sense of smell or taste coughing up brownish phlegm. I don't think smoking all of those Russian cigarettes helped, either.

[Kitsa]

prrrrrobably not. Shit singed off all your cilia.

[Otto]

Oh, hello unopened box of cigarettes!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/Arnoldreap/ruscigs.jpg

[Kitsa]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/gaboozasthemargitmenace.jpg

[kahljorn]

lol who the hell is that a picture of?

tHIS BOARD MAKES ME FEEL SO LONERY AT NIght :(

I smoked weed for like a year straight or longer and i would smoke like five times a day and i stopped like last weed (Omg ONE TRACK MIND) and i think the silia are coming back to life or some shit because my throat and chest hurt :( also i feel like there's something inside my chest that wants to come out (IM HOPING FOR GINORMOUS TONSIl stone type tHINGS)
either that or im sick too :(

I BROUGHT THIS ON MYSelf

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

lol who the hell is that a picture of?

tHIS BOARD MAKES ME FEEL SO LONERY AT NIght :(

I smoked weed for like a year straight or longer and i would smoke like five times a day and i stopped like last weed (Omg ONE TRACK MIND) and i think the silia are coming back to life or some shit because my throat and chest hurt :( also i feel like there's something inside my chest that wants to come out (IM HOPING FOR GINORMOUS TONSIl stone type tHINGS)
either that or im sick too :(

I BROUGHT THIS ON MYSelf

http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/Alien_Chestburster-micro-o.jpg

[kahljorn]

:lol
i was thinking that same thing actually:(

why am i still awake :(
IF im not lazy ill totally take that picture of me looking all sad with chola/goth/emo lipstick on and put the alien coming out of my chest :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Oh wow, are you still awake from last night? If I didn't work today I would still still be up hanging out.

[kahljorn]

:lol yes I'm hella an insomniac lately :(

[Kitsa]

That's my russian friend who killed himself :( It was the only picture of something Russian that I had handy.


He took that picture a few months beforehand, because he was always taking pictures of that knife and was probably just doing that to be stupid. Someone in our group of friends submitted it to Cliff Yablonski, and then like 3 weeks after he died he showed up there as the "Margit Menace" or something like that. Then SA didn't update Cliff Yablonski for years.

He was kind of a messed-up guy and used to take pictures of his cutting and his "blood bowl" to try and gross people out. He had so many suicide attempts that I'm convinced his actual death was accidental...he liked being able to see the reactions too much.

Anyway, other than the mess-upedness and the killing himself he was a great guy.

[kahljorn]

oh :(

[Kitsa]

Didn't mean it as a depressing thing. He would've fit right in here.

[RaNkeri]

Miami Vice, fuck yeah

[Grislygus]

man, i was all about that drunk stories/beer thread until i actually read it

[Grislygus]

id make some MAJOR CONTRIBUTIONS except that my good stories revolve around other people and theyre all kinda fucking sad

[Fathom Zero]

Hay GRisly.

[Grislygus]

HAWARYA

[Sam]

sup nigggguhs

[Grislygus]

garararrararrar


my phone has decided that it doesnt like internet

[Fathom Zero]

Tell it to eat it or beat it.

[Kitsa]

drop it in the toilet, that always shows cellphones

edit: DAMMIT

:pagebrak

[LordSappington]

So, my friend got kicked out of his house for connecting his computer to the internet. So, in an hour or so, we're going to his house, busting in through the broken window, and taking as much as possible.
Wish us luck.

[elx]

are you busting a window or just busting through a busted window?
'cause you shouldn't break anything..or take anything that's not his

[Grislygus]

From what I remember of you, it seems like the mission will probably be aborted if you and the Merry Pranksters come into contact with any small cuts or bruises

Boo hoo, I have ADHD-I, short term memory loss from concussive trauma, and my brain is apparently trying to kill me in my sleep.

Actually, never mind. Have your friends take pictures

[LordSappington]

Nah, his parents are going to Bible Study, and we're only taking everything he paid for. Which includes the 360, dozens of dvds, clothes, games, and other fun things.
And the front window is broken, and can be lifted up easily. So we have our way in.

[Grislygus]

Good




Give one of your friends a camera

[LordSappington]

To take pictures of what? Us just picking stuff up and putting them into backpacks? Thrilling stuff, yo.

[Fathom Zero]

Jackie Ross sounds so preeeetty.

[Grislygus]

Do you have any understanding of context and how it relates to instructions paired with embarrassing quotes

[Fathom Zero]

I ate a Steakhouse burger today from the Burger Kang.

:)

And I enjoy breaking into my own house. It reminds me that there's nothing I can do to stop it from being burgled, professionally.

[Sam]

ENJOY YOUR RUNNY SHITS

[Colonel Flagg]

I had a salad for dinner - is it wrong for me to feel jealous? :(

[Sam]

I AM EATING SALAD RIGHT NOW IT'S GREAT AND MY ASSHOLE THANKS ME FOR IT

[Colonel Flagg]

Yes, I too have a very happy colon. :)

[kahljorn]

I WILL ALso eAT A SALAD TONIGHT

AND ALSO A BOCA BURGER :FLEX

[Grislygus]

I AM BORED AND NOT DRUNK WITH NO WAY TO REMEDY THE SITUATION

Sam, tell me about that one time you did that thing with the people

[Sam]

OKAY SO THIS ONE TIME I WAS AT THE BAR AND I WAS LIKE "uh beer plz" AND THEN THE BARTENDER BROUGHT ME A JACK AND COKE AND I WAS LIKE "uh beer plz" AND SHE WAS LIKE "well if you don't drink it I have to throw it out" SO I DRANK THE FUCK OUT OF IT. THEN I HAD A BEER. I PAID FOR BOTH AND LEFT A DOLLAR TIP. :(

[Grislygus]

WAS SHE HOT

[kahljorn]

AND WHAT IF IT WASNT THE BARTENDERS FAULT BUT THE LIQUORS?

:ITALIANJERKOFF

[Babs]

So did you liquor?

[dextire]

I HATE DRAWING SCHEMATICS! :explode

253Xxc6rN_w

But I'm off to Atlanta on Thursday. So, there's that. :)

[bigtimecow]

dextire, i like you

you are delightfully tacky

[dextire]

Thanks. :)

I want a full review (and pictures) of the Willie cookies.

[LordSappington]

Well, long story short, his dad showed up while we were pillaging, and we both kinda lost track of it when he started screaming about cops and guns and some kind of shit so we bailed. But we got all of his dvds and games.
Also, fuck commas.

[kahljorn]

how old is your friend?
You should've just called the cops yourself and explained the situation. It's actually illegal to just kick somebody who's living in your house out like that without giving them any kind of notice. Even if they don't pay rent and they are that person's children. And especially if they have things inside which are theirs.

Basically that guy could probably sue his parents :O

oh yea -- and threatening to get guns? On his son? COPS TOTALLY WOULD'VE BEEN ON HIS SIDE.

[LordSappington]

He's seventeen. The man is ACTUALLY his step-dad, and he also lives with a sort of step-step mom. He has no blood relation to them, since his mom died of cancer six years or so ago, and we don't know anything about his biological father.
Well, at the time, we were more worried about getting his clothes and whatever else of his we could grab, because knowing his dad, he'd throw it all out as soon as he thought of it.

[kahljorn]

Oh yea, that makes it even more illegal. I would call the cops on HIM. His parents can go to jail for neglect.

i would call the cops before he gets a chance to throw anything away :O

[Zhukov]

Maybe his dad had a gun hidden somewhere and he would have used it on his son.

[kahljorn]

all the more reason to call the cops on him :O

[Colonel Flagg]

Wait a minute, Sappy - your friend was thrown out for connecting a computer to teh interwebs, right? And now his legal guardian (I'm assuming a lot, since you don't mention it, but step-dad was married to mom, so that makes it more than likely) threatens him with bodily harm for coming back to get his clothes and other possessions, right? And he's legally a minor child, right?

Three words - get a lawyer.

[kahljorn]

"ILL KICK YOU OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER AND ALSO YOU DONT GET ANY CLOTHES!!!

FREEZe to DeATH YOU SON OF A BITCH!
OH I DIDNT MEAN YOU HUNNY"

[executioneer]

call cps on em

[Kitsa]

I'm pretty sure the police would at the very least have stood guard as you guys gathered possessions that were obviously his. And more likely than that, there would have been some sort of action taken on his behalf since he's underage.

[kahljorn]

Exactly. Cops are usually pretty protective of kids, especially from assholes.

even if you were over 18 you have what are known as tenant rights and it's illegal to kick you out. they actually have to evict you, which can take months. -- even if you don't pay any bills, and even if you're their child.

[kahljorn]

I HAVE SERRUS SLEEPING PROBLEMS :(

IM FUCKING HYPER AT SIX IN THE MORNING AND I HAVENT DONE ANY DRUGS I SWEAR :(

[Wiffles]

maybe you sleep too early. Try sleeping at dawn ^.^

[executioneer]

KAHLJORN I HAVE THAT SAME PROBLEM SOME OF THE TIME AND ALL I HAVE IS CAFFEINE OR SOMETIMES JUST DOING A LOT OF THINKING :(

[Pentegarn]

When I first wake up and log in (i.e. now) I usually know Khal will be slap happy and expect his posts to reflect that :)

[executioneer]

sometimes it just happens from eating chocolate, these days :( it's like i've got negative tolerance on all stimulants now

[Pentegarn]

That you have no tolorence for chocolate makes me feel sorrow. Everyone should love chocolate

[Kitsa]

Chocolate should be counted as a medicine, not a food.

[executioneer]

a delicious, delicious medicine

[kahljorn]

KAHLJORN I HAVE THAT SAME PROBLEM SOME OF THE TIME AND ALL I HAVE IS CAFFEINE OR SOMETIMES JUST DOING A LOT OF THINKING :(

OH GOD MAYBE YOU GAVE ME A VIRUS CAUSE THATS EXACTLY HOW I AM AND THE ONLY WAY I cAN GET TO SLEEP IS BY READING JEAN PAUL SARTRE LOL.

maybe you sleep too early. Try sleeping at dawn ^.^

I DO :(

[Dimnos]

To take pictures of what? Us just picking stuff up and putting them into backpacks? Thrilling stuff, yo.

Well, long story short, his dad showed up while we were pillaging, and we both kinda lost track of it when he started screaming about cops and guns and some kind of shit so we bailed. But we got all of his dvds and games.
Also, fuck commas.

Because stuff happens. :)

[Dimnos]

Everyone should love chocolate

My mom got some sort of acupuncture and now chocolate tastes like dirt. I dont know who she is anymore. :(

[Zhukov]

I went two years without eating chocolate.

In unrelated matters, I feel very healthy.

[Fathom Zero]

Sometimes

I think too hard, then diamonds fall out of my mouth

[LordSappington]

Yeah, we're considering a lawyer. We figure we can try and sue him, or something; I guess we'll ask the lawyer about that, since I don't know anything about most legal disputes.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Is he staying at your house for now then?

[Grislygus]

I loved Mr B.Gone. Excellent book. Then again I usually love just about anything that Clive Barker writes.


Aaaaah, I'll step out of the Christmas thread to don the killjoy hat. That was the worst steaming pile of shit since Galilee, for God's sake.

Being a Clive Barker fan is like rooting for the Oakland Raiders, you always somehow trick yourself into believing that they'll do better this time, just like in the old days.





AND EVERYBODY WILL SEE THEN

[Pentegarn]

You need to read the rest of the thread where Microshock tries to ruin the event. It got moved to general and then locked after Chojin dropped the hammer on Microshock

[kahljorn]

damn i got caught up now too :O

lolatadjectiveform:highfive

[Grislygus]

I'm only a little bit into it so far, but I admit I love how annoyed people were with Microshock, especially Pancakes starting the third page with RAGE

Why the hell to people continue to genuinely and earnestly with fifteen year old children

[executioneer]

IM GONNA PLUG MY SHIT KARAOKE VIDEO IN HERE TOO, OK GUYS

G6XV5E4El7s

[Grislygus]

You inspire me to want to do drunk karaoke

This is inconcievable

[Grislygus]

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/willieboy.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

OMG

[MarioRPG]

Haha excellent song choice.

[Sam]

Why the hell to people continue to genuinely and earnestly with fifteen year old children

LET THIS SINK IN FOR A MOMENT

[Grislygus]

ARGUE, I swear to God I was talking about arguing with the children



THE SOCIAL WORKERS NEVER PROVED ANYTHING

[elx]

http://www.tamponcrafts.com/

[Colonel Flagg]

ARGUE, I swear to God I was talking about arguing with the children



THE SOCIAL WORKERS NEVER PROVED ANYTHING

I believe you, Gris. And I'm sure that's of great comfort to you.

BTW, where is Danny? :(

EDIT: Spot on rendition, Willie! :rock

[dextire]

Well done, Willie! :)
Was it painful to get your voice to go that high?

[executioneer]

nope i'm tolerably adequate at modulating my voice pitch

you're just lucky i didn't decide to do tiptoe thru the tulips :lol

[bigtimecow]

danny as in danny tatom? i talk to him on twitter and he sends me music every now and then. i <3 him, but i don't think he's coming back :( long live liquidstatik

[Fathom Zero]

I'm woozy, guys. I start a philosophy class tomorrow that's gonna kick even my very manly balls.

[Pentegarn]

I'm only a little bit into it so far, but I admit I love how annoyed people were with Microshock, especially Pancakes starting the third page with RAGE

Why the hell to people continue to genuinely and earnestly with fifteen year old children

It wasn't about his age, it was about his blatant douchebaggery and that he became more and more determined to grinch up the event.

EDIT: I think you'll love what Dixie did too. (that part might be in the part that got broke off and moved to General)

[Colonel Flagg]

It wasn't about his age, it was about his blatant douchebaggery and that he became more and more determined to grinch up the event.

As I understand it, not only did he grinch up THIS year, but he does similar crap EVERY year. Makes me wonder why he was allowed to participate in the first place.

Still, it made for good mockery fodder. What can one expect from a dude named µ:shocked

[Pentegarn]

Yeah, when he bitched about how bad he thought the gift he got was I verbally beat him over the head with the garbage he has given in the past. That amused me

[Dimnos]

WTF did he get that he was crying about?

[Kitsa]

Ugh, my dog just puked bile all over her crate, then when I let her out to clean it she walked right through it and tracked yellow bile pawprints all over the house :(

WHO DOESN'T WANT TO GET DOWN AND SCRUB BILE OUT OF THE CARPET?

KITSA DOESN'T WANT TO GET DOWN AND SCRUB BILE OUT OF THE CARPET!

:( :( :(

[Dimnos]

Its just natural for a dog to step in any spilt bodily fluids. Its just how nature made them. :(

[Kitsa]

the bitch of all of this is that I got a great compact carpet shampooer that would have taken care of this in no time, but I lent it to someone in order to impress upon them how cool it was and how they needed one. :lol

[Dimnos]

Awww... Damn the timing. :(

[Kitsa]

I love that this guy is pictured with Bill Clinton.

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2010/01/masturbate_job_market.php

[Dimnos]

:pagebrak

Wow is that guy retarded or what. :eek

[Pentegarn]

WTF did he get that he was crying about?

I think it was a bunch of comic books and maybe a dvd or two. In other words stuff the rest of us would have enjoyed.

[dextire]

Captain516 sent him 6 comics, 3 movies (including the 1989 Punisher), The Fellowship of the Ring, and a few other little things like an LP and a bamboo fountain.
As Pentegarn said, "stuff the rest of us would have enjoyed". :)

[Dimnos]

Hell the bamboo fountain sounds cool enough to me.

[Pentegarn]

Well that would be because you are not an ungrateful little toerag :P

EDIT: I looked at the really crappy pics Microshock made us wait over 2 weeks for and noticed he got a Marvel 1602 issue, which is super badass. Screw that little shit, he should choke on his dinner and die

[liquidstatik]

..

[Esuohlim]

Asshole :tear

[Fathom Zero]

I still love you, dude. Does our love mean nothing to you anymore?

[Babs]

Love is a fist

[kahljorn]

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PHILOSOPHY CLASS FATHOMZERO AND IF YOU EVER NEED HELP JUST KNOW THAT IM HERE FOR YOU :X

[Fathom Zero]

Thanks dude. It's easier than I thought. I remembered, "Oh. Philosophy".

Then it got easy.

[liquidstatik]

..

[liquidstatik]

..

[Fathom Zero]

Me, and I mean that with all due respect.

[bigtimecow]

microcock, although i think he got banned finally?

[Pentegarn]

I thought it was for only a week. Though if Chojin 'accidentally' made it a permaban.... well you wouldn't see me cry about it

[MarioRPG]

Ahhhhh! Liquidstatik rises from the grave! Zombie!

[Colonel Flagg]

Hey Danny.

[Zhukov]

Philosophy class is the best :(

[Fathom Zero]

The world needs more philosophy majors. :rolleyes

[Zhukov]

If everyone was a philosopher the world would quite arguably be a better place >:

[elx]

http://i716.photobucket.com/albums/ww161/kelcnr/purplepeopleeater.png

[elx]

also i think kgb w/e is trolling us and creating dumb threads via proxy :(

[Grislygus]

DANNAY

[Grislygus]

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/untitled-12.png

[Esuohlim]

One of my best friends from elementary school is going to compete in the Olympics :(

[Fathom Zero]

I have the diarrheas. :(

[Esuohlim]

We are both a sad :(

[Fathom Zero]

Sadness is a sadness. :(

[dextire]

I've decided to mellow my pre-trip jitters with sugar and caffeine. :)
I finally decided to try "Heritage Dr Pepper" before they stop selling it.
Wow, is this stuff good!

Spoiled because it's just a picture of the can.
http://i678.photobucket.com/albums/vv150/dextire/DrPepper.jpg

[Tadao]

I don't think I've ever really enjoyed a soda.

[Dimnos]

http://www.sodapopstop.com/home.cfm

[Sam]

One of my best friends from elementary school is going to compete in the Olympics :(

THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS :rolleyes

[Esuohlim]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_White_(figure_skater)

[Tadao]

Hey! That's my friend too!

[bigtimecow]

THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS :rolleyes

dammit

[Tadao]

Oh man, here comes the brown outs :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

My friend of a friend's last name is Bartoczewicz, pronounced Bar-to-shevitz. She was talking to someone from Georgia who asked her is she was some yankee Pollock.

[Grislygus]

GRAAAARGH FUUUAAACK



GODDAMIT

I JUST PROOFREAD A MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION FIVE BILLION TIMES BEFORE SENDING IT OFF, AND NOW I NOTICE A ROYAL COCKUP ON THE FIRST PAGE

ALALALALALAGHRAWAAAAAAHH

[Kitsa]

That's how it always happens.

[Grislygus]

ITS NAW MAW FAULT, AH SWEAR

NO ONE ELSE WAS AVAILABLE TO BACK ME UP GAWDDAMMIT

[Grislygus]

Subscription? The fuck izzat, I meant submission

[Tadao]

stop proofreading with whiskey

[Grislygus]

Sheeit, I came to California to escape the dreary rain and misery of Oregon AND WHADDOO I GET, MORE FUCKIN RAIN, WIND AND THUNDER

PALM TREES RIPPED OUT OF THE GROUND AND SENT FLYING THROUGH THE AIR, AND THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TORNADO WARNINGS, OF COURSE I'M DRINKING WHISKEY, IT'S LIQUID ANGELTITS IN A BOTTLE

[Sam]

where in So-Cal did you happen to land at Greasygus?

[Grislygus]

OHANGE COUNTY

[Sam]

ERNGE CUNTY?

[Grislygus]

DEY TOOK ER JEEEAAARBBBS

[Grislygus]

Who the hell is dizzymisslizzy and which one of you fuckers is she private messaging

TALK TO ME

[Tadao]

OC? Ohmanwhatthefuckdidyoulandtherefor?

[kahljorn]

Gus you actually don't live far from me :O

MY INTERNET IS WORKING BECAUSE OF LIKE A THIN THREAD THAT CONNECTS THE WIRE STILL :(
UNFORTUNATELY IF I TRY TO USE THE INTERNET ON ANY OF MY OTHER STUFFS IT LIEK OVERLOADS THE TINY THREAD AND STOPS WORKING

[Sam]

:eek

[Grislygus]

OC? Ohmanwhatthefuckdidyoulandtherefor?

It was either that or Laguna Beach, and, you know, fuck that shit

[Grislygus]

Kahljorn you need to not die in an electrical fire, awright

[kahljorn]

:lol yea that's kind of what I'm worried about :(

also like two light fixtures in my house stopped working ;/

[Grislygus]

FUUUUCK I'm bored


I don't know what to do now that I have no beer money and a dwindling (actually, by this point, dwindled) supply of Glenfiddich and Wild Turkey

[Kitsa]

http://www.hersheysstore.com/detail/HSH+034000430086

Respect the cups.

[Grislygus]

One pound? motherfucking Christenanny

[Sam]

Holy jesus I'm getting those. :(

[Kitsa]

my sig other requested them instead of a cake for his birthday, and seeing as I'll have a one week old kid at that time it's more appealing than standing in the kitchen baking said cake.

[Kitsa]

Holy jesus I'm getting those. :(

Just to warn you, they're $21 shipped and they want another $15 if you want a cold pack.

They're on backorder and they plan to ship the 22nd.

[Sam]

That's fine I'm rich.

[Kitsa]

I'm not :(

But it's still better than baking a cake.

[kahljorn]

you can buy cakes :O

[Kitsa]

Not in my current realm of possibility, without sending someone to do it for me, and I dislike that.

[Tadao]

oh man I love peanut butter cups

[liquidstatik]

..

[executioneer]

IM FOLLOWING UR LEAD B-)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Who the hell is dizzymisslizzy and which one of you fuckers is she private messaging

TALK TO ME

A PAIN IN THE ASS.

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[Zhukov]

I thought the first reply to "A PAIN IN THE ASS." was going to be an anal sex joke. Good job gang, you surprised me in a good way today.

[Fathom Zero]

chocolate balloon knots

[Pentegarn]

I just looked at the peanut butter cup link. I really want the world's largest chocolate bar now though.

[Colonel Flagg]

Who the hell is [DML] and which one of you fuckers is she private messaging

A PAIN IN THE ASS.

And there's your answer! :D

BTW she logs on all the time just to see who's talking about her. At least that's what I think, she doesn't post anymore. Not since someone tried to access her account! :stalkermeetstalkee

[Colonel Flagg]

I just looked at the peanut butter cup link. I really want the world's largest chocolate bar now though.

http://www.l-page.net/images/1/chocolate-3.jpg

What struck me is that although they call it an egg, it looks like a football! PERFECT FOR YOU, PENTEGARN!

[Grislygus]

COURSE I'M DRINKING WHISKEY, IT'S LIQUID ANGELTITS IN A BOTTLE

This needed to be repeated, because it is wise

[Grislygus]

Boy gets revenge on sister by posting her hookup list

It always amazes me how born-and-bred internet people can never spot an obvious joke a mile off




OH WAIT, WE ALREADY HAVE A THREAD DEDICATED TO BELIEVING IN IT


MAH BAD

[Chojin]

Boy gets revenge on sister by posting her hookup list

It always amazes me how born-and-bred internet people can never spot an obvious joke a mile off




OH WAIT, WE ALREADY HAVE A THREAD DEDICATED TO BELIEVING IN IT


MAH BAD

Pretty sure all the girls coming to her internet defense on the forums that's been posted to are evidence that it could very easily be real

[Grislygus]

All you have to do is post a single picture of an unhappy cat getting wet on Facebook and lonely girls/stupid people will rally to its defense against you, the oppressor, in waves

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

And there's your answer! :D

BTW she logs on all the time just to see who's talking about her. At least that's what I think, she doesn't post anymore. Not since someone tried to access her account! :stalkermeetstalkee

She keeps PM'ing me so after this I'm just going to post everything that gets pm'd to me.

[Tadao]

Grading 1st graders schoolwork is hilarious.

[Colonel Flagg]

She keeps PM'ing me so after this I'm just going to post everything that gets pm'd to me.

Thank you for that. :\

[Grislygus]

What, are you kidding? Post the entire back-and-forth conversation in its entirety RIGHT NOW

It's the officially recognized sport of I-Mockery, for Christ's sake

[Colonel Flagg]

But do it in a separate thread so we can follow it properly, and mock it accordingly. :posh

[bigtimecow]

WIPING MY COMPUTER CLEAN AND REBOOTING VISTA BYE GUYS FOREVER HOPEFULLY NOT

[Grislygus]

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/untitled-13.jpg

YOU ARE IN THE DUNGEON OF REDUNDANT BULLSHIT

COMMAND?

>

[Sam]

DRINK WHISKEY

[Grislygus]

YOU ARE NOW HAPPY

COMMAND?

>

[Grislygus]

YOU ARE NOW DEPRESSED

YOU CAN NOW FIGHT WITH GREAT VALOR

YOU ARE NOW OUT OF

WHISKEY

COMMAND?

>

[Tadao]

inv

[Grislygus]

YOU CHECK YOUR INVENTORY

YOU HAVE ONE MAG-LIGHT

YOU HAVE FOUR JERKY

YOU HAVE ONE SARCASM

YOU HAVE ONE VOMIT BAG

YOU HAVE ONE COMPASS

YOU HAVE ONE KNIFE

YOU HAVE ONE MOTHER

COMMAND?

>

[Sam]

inspect mag-light

[Grislygus]

YOU INSPECT

MAG LIGHT

THIS IS A FLASH LIGHT. A SEMI TRUCK CAN OVER IT. IT CAN BE USED TO BEAT MINORITIES

COMMAND?

>

[Tadao]

look in vomit bag

[Sam]

use mag-light on Tadao

[Grislygus]

SAM

USE MAG LIGHT

+10 AGAINST MINORITIES

TADAO

INSPECT VOMIT BAG

THIS IS A VOMIT BAG. IT IS NOW FILLED WITH BLOOD.

TADAO

HAS A CONCUSSION

COMMAND?

>

[Wiffles]

THROW BABY

[Grislygus]

YOU DO NOT HAVE THIS ITEM

YOU HAVE ONE MOTHER

COMMAND?

>

[Sam]

use sarcasm on Wiffles

[Grislygus]

SAM

USE SARCASM

WIFFLES

IT IS A GOOD THING WE HAVE

BABY

OR THAT WOULD NOT WORK

COMMAND?

>

[Grislygus]

WIFFLES

- 1 INI

COMMAND?

>

[Tadao]

Use knife on mothers stomach

[Grislygus]

TADAO

USE KNIFE

YOU ARE OUT OF

MOTHER


YOU NOW HAVE

ONE

INHERITANCE

[Grislygus]

YOU NOW HAVE

ONE

BROTHER


YOU NOW HAVE

FIVE

SISTER


YOU NOW HAVE

TWO

UNCLE

COMMAND?

>

[Grislygus]

YOU ARE OUT OF

INHERITANCE

COMMAND?

>

[Tadao]

get torch use torch on Sam

[Grislygus]

THE ROOM IS BARE. THERE ARE ARE TWO

TORCHES

AND ONE EXIT

COMMAND?

>

[Grislygus]

YOU HAVE ONE

TORCH

THERE IS NOW ONE

TORCH

IN THE ROOM

TADAO

USE TORCH

SAM IS ON FIRE

TADAO

YOU ARE OUT OF

TORCH

COMMAND?

>

[Dimnos]

Walk north.

[Wiffles]

<3 MUD

[Grislygus]

YOU WALK NORTH

YOU ARE NOW IN A ROOM OR SOMETHING

THERE IS AN EXIT TO THE NORTHEAST

THERE IS AN EXIT TO THE NORTHWEST

COMMAND?

>

[bigtimecow]

exit northeast

[Grislygus]

THERE IS A TROLL

COMMAND?

>

[bigtimecow]

give sister to troll

[Dimnos]

Pick up Wiffles.

Give Wiffles to Troll.

[Grislygus]

TROLL EATS

SISTER

THE TROLL LEAVES

YOU NOW HAVE ONE

INHERITANCE

THERE IS AN EXIT TO THE NORTH

COMMAND?

>

[bigtimecow]

mourn over sister

inspect north exit

[Grislygus]

INVALID COMMAND

INSPECT EXIT

THE ROOM IS BARE AND GREY. THERE IS AN OPEN DOORWAY TO THE NORTH.

COMMAND?

>

[bigtimecow]

exit north

[Grislygus]

YOU ARE IN A TACKILY DECORATED OFFICE. THERE IS A SNIDE-LOOKING BLONDE IN A BROWN DESK AHEAD OF YOU. TO THE LEFT OF THE DESK IS A

FANCY DOOR

THERE IS A CHANDELIER ON THE CEILING

TO YOUR LEFT IS A COUCH WITH A MAN ON IT.

THE MAN IS READING A MAGAZINE AND MASTURBATING.

THE CARPET IS RED.

COMMAND?

>

[bigtimecow]

use sarcasm

talk to snide-looking blonde

[Grislygus]

YOU USE SARCASM

YOU LOOK PRETTY TODAY

THE SNIDE-LOOKING BLONDE THANKS YOU AND TELLS YOU TO TAKE A SEAT

COMMAND?

>

[executioneer]

SIT ON DESK

[Grislygus]

YOU SIT ON

DESK

THE SNIDE-LOOKING RECEPTIONIST ASKS IF SHE CAN HELP YOU.

COMMAND?

>

[executioneer]

GET UP
USE KNIFE ON MAN
GET MAGAZINE
SHOW MAGAZINE TO WOMAN

[Grislygus]

YOU CUT THE MASTURBATOR'S THROAT

YOU NOW HAVE

DIRTY MAGAZINE


YOU USE DIRTY MAGAZINE ON

RECEPTIONIST

THE RECEPTIONIST IS DISTRACTED BY THE LESBIAN ACTION

THE RECEPTIONIST IS UGLY


THERE IS A

FANCY DOOR

TO THE NORTH


COMMAND?

>

[kahljorn]

WRITE 'THEORY OF LESBIANISM' 'UGLY RECEPTIONIST'

[Tadao]

tell joke to 1st uncle

[Grislygus]

INVALID COMMAND

THE RECEPTIONIST IS UGLY


YOU NO LONGER HAVE

DIRTY MAGAZINE


THE RECEPTIONIST IS MASTURBATING

COMMAND?

>

[Grislygus]

USE SARCASM ON

UNCLE

YOU UNCLE LAUGHS

YOU UNCLE HAS HEART ATTACK

YOU NOW HAVE ONE

UNCLE

YOU NOW HAVE TWO

INHERITANCE


COMMAND?

>

[kahljorn]

THIS MUD IS WHACK IF IT CANT EVEN WRITE THEORIES OF LESBIANISM

I MEAN JESUS ITS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF US

[bigtimecow]

whoaaaa green usernames for mods?

[Zhukov]

Inspect receptionist.

[liquidstatik]

..

[Tadao]

esc

[executioneer]

aw man! how am i supposed to goad people into infractions NOW >:

[Fathom Zero]

King for a day, mod for a lifetime.

[bigtimecow]

whoa wait i think i just put two and two together and realized that danny and willie are both in washington

so yeah hang out okay

[executioneer]

i need a reason to go up, i'll feel like a weirdo if i drive a hour just for hanging out :( maybe emerald city comicon or something? or a music band

[Tadao]

I think Danny moved over to by me.

[liquidstatik]

..

[executioneer]

wanna go see uhhh alice in chains or something

[executioneer]

oh whoa the presidents of the USA are gonna be in town next month, too

what is this, 1995 again?

[executioneer]

oh goddamn and BON JOVI

i gotta start reading event calendars more often, dang

[Tadao]

Ah dude Danny, you didn't make it to SoCal? :(

On another note.

http://www.coachella.com/event/lineup

[executioneer]

Faith No More
what

what

[executioneer]

1995 you get the hell out of this nation

[Kitsa]

I graduated in 95.

I'm so fucking old :(

[Fathom Zero]

Faith No More got back together a couple years ago and are touring again. Mike Patton sang Lady Gaga tunes a couple times.

[executioneer]

hahhaha