I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Pub Lover]

Ranny, there is someone in the world that masturbates to you. That isn't saying much. :eek

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/linkedjunk/2008/april/MISSEDBRAK.jpg

[RaNkeri]

GOD DAMN

[Pub Lover]

Shit. :eek

[RaNkeri]

Pub, nobody cares about brak

[RaNkeri]

except you :rolleyes

[Esuohlim]

and I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere in USA there's a guy who masturbates to this show

GUILTY

AS

CHARGED

[Pub Lover]

I will ban you, you dick licker. :eek

[Esuohlim]

FUCK EVEN MY AVATAR IS FOOD FUCKING CHRIST

[RaNkeri]

I KNOW, I KNOW

[Tadao]

STEAK RUBBER!

:eek

[Esuohlim]

WHY AM I SO FAT AGHH THIS SUCKS :tear

[Tadao]

MAYBE YOUR DICK ABSORBS STEAK FAT? YOU SHOULD JERK OFF WITH A LEAN CUT STEAK INSTEAD!

:eek

[RaNkeri]

DON' GO FORGETTIN' DA BBQ SAUCE Y'ALL

[RaNkeri]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/donut.jpg


AWWW HELLS YEAAAAHH

SWEET LOVE

RIIIIGHT

THEEEERRRREEEE

[Tadao]

I gotta say, I'd hump pretty much anyone that wore that cyberpunk wig non-ironically.

I think Pub went out to buy a new cyberpunk wig!

:eek

[Esuohlim]

Stop posting NSFW material Rankeri >:

[Dimnos]

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3342/3194305942_6a161849e9.jpg

Finland vs Food.



Dont be pissed Rankeri. :(

[Sam]

MAN VS FINLAND

[elx]

HOW DO YOU GUYS DEAL WITH LESBIAN COWORKERS?

[Pub Lover]

Stern make-outs in the breakroom.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

HOW DO YOU GUYS DEAL WITH LESBIAN COWORKERS?

Make them join your softball team.

[Sam]

HOW DO YOU GUYS DEAL WITH LESBIAN COWORKERS?

MAKE THEM WORK IN A CRAMPED CUBICLE UNTIL THE RAMPANT SEXUAL TENSION GETS TO THEM AND THEY GO INTO A FULL BLOWN LESBIAN FUCK FEST ON THE COPY MACHINE

THEN I JUST WATCH

[Pentegarn]

HOW DO YOU GUYS DEAL WITH LESBIAN COWORKERS?

Worship and awe mostly. Why do you ask?

[Colonel Flagg]

HOW DO YOU GUYS DEAL WITH LESBIAN COWORKERS?

What, are they hitting on you, or something?

[elx]

yes she did and she's the scary traileryparky butch kind :(


and you guys have terrible dealing-with-lesbian tactics, you'd all be the first attacked by the angry feminists :(

[Dimnos]

Ask if she would like to relax in the hot tub and enjoy a Tom Collins .

[Zhukov]

yes she did and she's the scary traileryparky butch kind :(


and you guys have terrible dealing-with-lesbian tactics, you'd all be the first attacked by the angry feminists :(

Talk to her about hot boys. Let it be known that you are going out to dinner with your boyfriend.

Also, when did YOU get a job?!

[kahljorn]

basically, treat her like you would a stupid ugly dude ;(

[executioneer]

pepper spray right in the vagina

[executioneer]

wait this isn't the how to get a dog to respect you thread n/m

[Zhukov]

yes she did and she's the scary traileryparky butch kind :(


Well, would any other kind change things for you?

[The Leader]

GUYS I THINK ELX IS HOMOPHOBIC :O

[Zhukov]

Normally I would jump at the chance to jokingly agree with you, but I think I am in the bad books so I wont.

[Dimnos]

I thought you were the only guy in the good books?

[Colonel Flagg]

yes she did and she's the scary traileryparky butch kind :(

Then she broke the law and should be fired. Talk to your supervisor - if that doesn't work talk to HR.

Or is she the owner? In this case, quit. :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

yes she did and she's the scary traileryparky butch kind :(


and you guys have terrible dealing-with-lesbian tactics, you'd all be the first attacked by the angry feminists :(

My co-ed softball team is awesome though. I think my friend Joe is the only 100% straight person on the team.

We are Team Uruguay.

[Zhukov]

Wait, hitting on co-workers is against the law over there? Shit, is it against the law here? Flirting with certain women at work is my raison de vivre... oh man, now you've got me worried that they are only pretending to like it or something and are actually extremely uncomfortable :(

Anyway, Elx if it's constant, and you make it clear that you are not interested, take Flagg's advice.

10K that's an awesome name :lol

[Grislygus]

THE FUCK, I don't get to Sam's posters in time so now Tadao's turns into a mod :eek

I suck at internet responsibilities :( THAT GODDAMNED REAL LIFE IS FUCKING MY SHIT UP

[Grislygus]

Jesus fuck, and while I was gone pub came back with a vengeance and elx started talking about being harassed by lesbian coworkers, and once I log on everything cool stops happening. I think my presence might be a plague, guys

[Tadao]

I BET YOU SAY THAT TO ALL THE GIRLS

[Grislygus]

DON' GO FORGETTIN' DA BBQ SAUCE Y'ALL


frigging ultra-euros; can't tell the difference between rednecks and black people. That's only a problem in ATLANTA, genius

The appropriate mock-response would be along the lines of

GAWDAM BOY, YOU TELLIN' ME YOU WAS FIXIN' TO SET THAT OUT WITHOUT THE SAUCE?! YOU AS DUMB AS A BAG A HAMMERS, MAEYNARD. GITCHER SORRY ASS OVER TO THE COSTCO AND GIT SOME A THEM BUCKETS O' TATER SALAD AN SLAW, I'LL WATCH THE PIG. AN GIT SOME MORE BIER WHILE YER AT IT. SHEE-IT.

[Grislygus]

TADAO YOU'RE JUST PICKING ON ME BECAUSE I'M NOT DEDICATED ENOUGH TO BE MODERATOR MATERIAL

[Grislygus]

except Art Shit mod, but being named moderator of Art Shit is like having someone tape a yellow paper star to your shirt and saying that you're special

[Pub Lover]

Jesus fuck, and while I was gone pub came back with a vengeance
Today, I am mostly thinking this thread is better to read without me. ;)

[MarioRPG]

I think I got a sunburn. This should not happen in Canadian May.

[Grislygus]

Wasn't Canadian May that movie where Quebecan teenagers fought off the French helicopters while Jennifer Connelly had sex with Michelle Pfeiffer

[Grislygus]

It should be

[Grislygus]

Today, I am mostly thinking this thread is better to read without me. ;)

How am I supposed to annoy you in person if you decide to not be in person? JERK

[Grislygus]

but being named moderator of Art Shit is like having someone tape a yellow paper star to your shirt and saying that you're special

and you just happen to be a small two-fingered monkey with cerebral palsy

[Pub Lover]

:pagebrak

[Pub Lover]

How am I supposed to annoy you in person if you decide to not be in person? JERK

Good question. :)

[Pub Lover]

At least it would be if I understood it.

[kahljorn]

maybe you're a ghost :O

[Grislygus]

If you EVER understand what I'm saying, please let me know what the hell I'm talking about; I'm lost :(

[Pub Lover]

maybe you're a ghost :O

Do ghosts have boners, madam? :eek

[elx]

Talk to her about hot boys. Let it be known that you are going out to dinner with your boyfriend.

Also, when did YOU get a job?!
she asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said no; then she asked me if i wanted her to introduce me to men and i said no. which led to her asking me why i disliked guys and i said i just didn't want to date. that's why she thought i was a lesbian! i probably should have seen it coming but she was digging for that answer and was totally deceptive and i think she took advantage of that so she could feel justified in her advances :(


Then she broke the law and should be fired. Talk to your supervisor - if that doesn't work talk to HR.

Or is she the owner? In this case, quit. :(
i work at school so if it gets to be a problem i can ask to be transfered to tutoring or something.



Jesus fuck, and while I was gone pub came back with a vengeance and elx started talking about being harassed by lesbian coworkers, and once I log on everything cool stops happening. I think my presence might be a plague, guys
there i brought it back for you :)

[elx]

this (http://www.wikisky.org/?ra=16.42755092467652&de=-23.870226983279803&zoom=1&show_grid=1&show_constellation_lines=1&show_constellation_boundaries=1&show_const_names=0&show_galaxies=1&img_source=IMG_all) is a pretty neat website for anyone interested in astronomy stuff. it's like this infinite grid we're making ourselves by contributing photos and using thousands of them to map out the visible universe, cool stuff i think! and it's pretty simple too, you can find any of the celestial objects you're interested in by coordinates. similar to our latitude/longitude, but instead it's right ascension/declination (the first which is measured in time and the second in degrees) :)

[elx]

:(

[Esuohlim]

The hours, minutes, and seconds of right ascension aren't actually time

[Sam]

DUH :rolleyes

[elx]

are you informing me that leo is not actually 1 hour and 28 minutes away from orion? thank you. i'd have never realized.



http://img571.imageshack.us/img571/8756/nostar.png
if you catch the reference you win a goldstar

[Zhukov]

I like Big Bada Bum and also Thor's Emerald Helmet (because that's a schoolyard name for the male glans).

The reference for your drawing is a Disney cartoon.

[Babs]

Made triple the amount of money I bought in tonight in hold em'. Feeling good, feeling like a Negreanu.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Do ghosts have boners, madam? :eek


Uhhh, all the time.

[Esuohlim]

ELX DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

[Fathom Zero]

PqLAdbtfJbs

Is there anything more awesome than this? I REALLY FUCKING DOUBT IT. :rock

[Tadao]

Athens, Greece looks like a beautiful place to have a riot. Way prettier than Watts, California.

[Grislygus]

Is there anything more awesome than this? I REALLY FUCKING DOUBT IT. :rock

Wk05PeKSI2E

Holvzlk4LrQ&feature=related

Lp1INdfJCkY

mwTLrYbZmkc






Ia2FHWwunU4

[Tadao]

nZ6s89QWYjc

[Grislygus]

tT3bfA_Rmiw






__KnL-OvtCg
WbRjahMLXQU&feature=fvst
yrJgBt7etBM

[Grislygus]

aP5ikQpTR3c
7JruuMkV0gM
g7ZlLJ-OQJI&feature=related
x6SHfjqV4tA

[Fathom Zero]

Nuh uh. I'm not listening to anything else. >:

[Tadao]

I think Mercyful Fate came really close to Iron Maidens wall of guitar sound. Unfortunately, King Diamond can get on your nerves.

[Tadao]

:eek

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I bet there was a bunch of awesome going on during the last page but its all blank to me. Except the part about KD.

[Dimnos]

http://www.geekologie.com/2010/05/06/time-travel-full.jpg

[Tadao]

:lol

[Tadao]

http://wwwc.mentalfloss.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/zip.jpg

The initials you see on darn near every zipper you own stand for Yoshida Kōgyō Kabushikigaisha, which translates into “Yoshida Manufacturing Corporation.” The company is named after Tadao Yoshida, who started the zipper concern in Tokyo in 1934.

[The Leader]

I did not know that.

[Colonel Flagg]

Does he have to pay you royalties for using your name?

And Dim, that is one AWESOME cartoon. :lol

[elx]

THIS NEW GOOGLE SUCKS


IT IS TOO BINGY GARBlAHBWARBLUR

[Sam]

So a nigga can ride out to the honeycomb hideout
I'm gonna show you how to wild out like Jack Tripper
Let me be bambino on your snippas
YKK on yo zippa lick you like a lizard
When I'm slizzard or sober 6 million ways to fold ya
Like Noah I get twos of you and you get pretty deep
But I'll call yo ass round 8-ish I know you'll be there for me

[Zhukov]

I was thinking the EXACT same thing.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

MUTUAL CONCENSUS CONFIRMED. I still need to fill out my census form.

[Zhukov]

About google.

[Dimnos]

THIS NEW GOOGLE SUCKS


IT IS TOO BINGY GARBlAHBWARBLUR

At first I thought something was wrong with my computer. :lol

[Dimnos]

I changed my sig to something Chojin said then he drops this gem.


No. There is no appreciable difference. You're just being conned by hippies instead of suits.

:lol

[elx]

GOOGLE IS FASCIST, FIRST THEY FORCED THE YOUTUBE LAYOUT ON US EVEN THOUGH 97% OF THE PEOPLE IN THE BETA HATED IT AND NOW THIS. WHAT THE HELL WE ALREADY HAD ALL OF THOSE OPTIONS WHY DO THEY HAVE TO MOVE THEM TO THE SIDE LIKE THAT.


WE HAVE GIVEN THEM TOO MUCH POWER.

[Grislygus]

I still need to fill out my census form.

IT'S TOO LATE GODDAMNIT, I'M LEGALLY REQUIRED TO BE HERE, JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING DOOR PLEASE YOU CAN JUST REFUSE SO I CAN JUST LEAVE YOUR SHITTY NEIGHBORHOOD. YOU THINK YTHAT I WANT TO WASTE MY TIME WITH YOU?! ALL OF YOUR NEIGHBORS ALREADY ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS! YOU ARE MAKING ME LOSE MONEY EVERY DAY I HAVE TO COME BACK BECAUSE ONE TO FIVE HOUSES REFUSE TO ANSWER THE DOOR AND NONE OF YOUR NEIGHBORS KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU AND THE HOMEOWNER THAT RENTS THE HOUSE TO YOU WON'T ANSWER THE PHONE WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A FREAK ARE YOU AND I'M STUCK IN THIS HELLHOLE AND ONLY ABLE TO WORK TWO HOURS A DAY BECAUSE I CAN'T GET MY NEW ASSIGNMENTS UNTIL I CAN SOMEHOW PROVE THAT YOU EVEN EXIST YOU GODLESS BASEMENT DWELLING WHOREMONGERS

[Grislygus]

OH YEAH, AND THE BATSHIT CRAZY PEOPLE ARE FUN TO INTERVIEW AS WELL.


REAL FUCKING FUN.

[Grislygus]

AND THEN A BARNEY MILLER EPISODE WAS ON LAST NIGHT THAT I WATCHED OUT OF SHEER BOREDOM AND THERE WAS ANOTHER CENSUS GUY IN THE EPISODE AND HE WAS SCREAMING IN RAGE AND I'M SITTING THERE NODDING AT EVERYTHING HE SAYS AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT I HAD BECOME A COSMIC JOKE


NO WAIT, THAT WAS EARLIER IN THE DAY WHEN I DROVE SIX MILES TO TRY AND VISIT THE GIVEN ADDRESS OF THE CONDO "HOMEOWNER'S ASSOCIATION" AT 25031, SUITE 206. ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT THERE WAS NO BULDING 25031, THE STARTED AT 25291 AND WENT UP FROM THERE, AND THE ONLY -31 IN THE ENTIRE OFFICE COMPLEX WAS 25431, WHICH CONTAINED SUITES 107-207... ONLY TO REALIZE THAT THERE WAS NO SUITE 206, ONLY SUITES 205 AND 207 I'M TRAPPED IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE FOREVER THERE IS NO ESCAPE NOW

[Dimnos]

You can only blame yourself.

Whenever someone presents an argument, you only give us links to articles and tell us to read it and that we can find answers from there. Have you even read those articles? Seems like you only link us to them because they have headlines you can agree with, yet closer inspection shows how they are irrelevant or contradict you.

I love that even Finland is against Coolie. :lol

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

OH YEAH, AND THE BATSHIT CRAZY PEOPLE ARE FUN TO INTERVIEW AS WELL.


REAL FUCKING FUN.


My g/f is working for them too. She finished her binder already so for all her quick work she gets to go to the ghetto to do them. I'm going to pick her up a reversible red/blue shirt because I don't remember if we have crips or bloods here.

[RaNkeri]

I love that even Finland is against Coolie. :lol

I TRIED BEING NICE, BUT GOD DAMN IT


SHEEESH, SOME PEOPLE :(

[Zhukov]

My g/f is working for them too. She finished her binder already so for all her quick work she gets to go to the ghetto to do them. I'm going to pick her up a reversible red/blue shirt because I don't remember if we have crips or bloods here.

:lol

[Shrubfest]

I are sad. I got a C- for my costume.

Stupid uni.

[Grislygus]

My g/f is working for them too. She finished her binder already so for all her quick work she gets to go to the ghetto to do them.

jealous RAAAAAAGE i need some fucking hours and these fucking nonrespondents are STRANGLING me

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I are sad. I got a C- for my costume.

Stupid uni.

http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.120820671.jpg

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

I are sad. I got a C- for my costume.

Stupid uni.

Let's see it on you.

[Shrubfest]

It doesn't fit me. Its made for someone else

[Tadao]

Well them how do I know you didn't deserve the C-?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

jealous RAAAAAAGE i need some fucking hours and these fucking nonrespondents are STRANGLING me

Isn't there something you can put as a no show or something? Or do you just have to keep going there?

[Dimnos]

Yeah just say that you talked to some guy who refused. Fuck it. Its just the census. No one really gives a crap. When they come to my door I think Im going to tell them Im a Mexican Russian married with six kids and that we are trying for 4 more kids to start a circus.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Yeah just say that you talked to some guy who refused. Fuck it. Its just the census. No one really gives a crap. When they come to my door I think Im going to tell them Im a Mexican Russian married with six kids and that we are trying for 4 more kids to start a circus.

:lol Me too.

My girlfriend actually filled out the census for my roommate and I. We have the same birthday, both work in insurance and are caucasion(debatable). I forgot to mail it though...then I thought I got a 2nd form in the mail that was laying on the floor. I opened the letter and noticed it was the completed form. It is still laying on my floor.

[Chojin]

i completed mine in like 2 minutes the day i got it, then put it back in the mailbox

shit was hard, guys

[Grislygus]

Isn't there something you can put as a no show or something? Or do you just have to keep going there?

I am legally obligated to get an interview, a refusal, or an interview with a proxy. Those are the only options. And anyone stupid enough to lie about the responses from the housing units they were assigned to would be immediately fired once their superior's superiors had the quality control people double-and-triple check their shit later that week. My CLA was nice enough to throw me ten more housing units while I'm waiting for a response from the property management company regarding the nonresponding nonrespondents on my first assignment area. I'm just glad I'm being helped, if the property management company AND the homeowner's association can't get me the information after all of this detective work... hell, I don't know WHAT the next step would be on my own.

[Grislygus]

Its just the census. No one really gives a crap.

Congressional Funding. United States House of Representatives. Planning of distribution and allocation of city and state resources. Any of that ring a bell?

[Dimnos]

hell, I don't know WHAT the next step would be on my own.

http://tcnwag.blu.livefilestore.com/y1pR7UFao9NA-bewbS68o0AokffkK64t5XO4bNsS6LpcA9JphPoGYWen9ps2OH-7E7wlms2iQlFlsD3mTL3mNP16b3XJ5PjkL14/Havedog.jpeg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I am legally obligated to get an interview, a refusal, or an interview with a proxy. Those are the only options. And anyone stupid enough to lie about the responses from the housing units they were assigned to would be immediately fired once their superior's superiors had the quality control people double-and-triple check their shit later that week. My CLA was nice enough to throw me ten more housing units while I'm waiting for a response from the property management company regarding the nonresponding nonrespondents on my first assignment area. I'm just glad I'm being helped, if the property management company AND the homeowner's association can't get me the information after all of this detective work... hell, I don't know WHAT the next step would be on my own.

She kind of explained that to me. I think the part about the proxy is a little weird though. I remember her saying there were fines out the wazoo for lying too.

She had to monitor a few people first to make sure they were field ready. Some of the people would like bring their 15 kids around with them, talk on their cell phone and just not really care.

[RaNkeri]

15 YEARS

NEVER FORGET

[Sam]

It doesn't fit me. Its made for someone else


You made me a viking costume, didn't you? FOR WHEN I POUND YOU INTO SUBMISSION.

[kahljorn]

GOOD IDEA MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT YOUR TWO FAVORITE HOBBIES TOGETHER AND MAKE SEX COSTUMES FOr A LIVING

[Pub Lover]

I've survived my 28th trip around the sun, and just have one more year before beginning my third decade on this mudball.

You're reaching the end of your third decade, chief.

Unless you spent ten years in space. :eek

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

To not cause a Sports/Loveline merger....

Me and GF were watching the Flyers/ Bruins game earlier this week at a bar. She noticed someone in the stands who was wearing Philly facepaint which was mixed orange and black with a line down the center. Then she's like "Wow, that guy looks the mask guy from Mario."

I heard this was like "Come again?" I knew exactly what she was talking about from Mario 2 but I didn't want to assume this was also what she was talking about. She doesn't play games, sometimes she watches :orgasm.

She's like "You know, when you go down the vase and grab the key. The mask guy chases you."

I was all like "I don't even know what to say. I'm just so happy right now. :rock:love"

[stevetothepast]

she sounds like a keeper bill

[Fathom Zero]

Awesome.

[Pentegarn]

To not cause a Sports/Loveline merger....

Me and GF were watching the Flyers/ Bruins game earlier this week at a bar. She noticed someone in the stands who was wearing Philly facepaint which was mixed orange and black with a line down the center. Then she's like "Wow, that guy looks the mask guy from Mario."

I heard this was like "Come again?" I knew exactly what she was talking about from Mario 2 but I didn't want to assume this was also what she was talking about. She doesn't play games, sometimes she watches :orgasm.

She's like "You know, when you go down the vase and grab the key. The mask guy chases you."

I was all like "I don't even know what to say. I'm just so happy right now. :rock:love"

Cool story bro. But don't let DML anywhere near her (restraining order ftw!)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Thanks :)

[RaNkeri]

Miami Vice, fuck yeah!

[Zhukov]

:lol I fucking know what's going to be behind that without even checking.

[MarioRPG]

Hahaha 10kvg that is hilarious

[kahljorn]

I SAW 10kvg as 10k VAG L:

[Chojin]

all of you fgts are the reason market research sucks and people keep making shitty products in response

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:pagebrak
If I was a woman that 10K VAG would be my roller derby name.

edit: Karb

[Tadao]

all of you fgts are the reason market research sucks and people keep making shitty products in response

iSorry

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[Dr. Boogie]

Just had a celebrity sighting, kinda: Jani Lane, the former lead singer of Warrant... as he drove into our neighbor's parked car and blew out one of his tires trying to get away.

[The Leader]

:lol

[Guitar Woman]

Derp de derp de derp

[Babs]

Just had a celebrity sighting, kinda: Jani Lane, the former lead singer of Warrant... as he drove into our neighbor's parked car and blew out one of his tires trying to get away.

he'll most likely being seeing a warrant now.

[elx]

why does everyone hate on crocs?

[Babs]

BECAUSE THEY REPRESENT ALL THAT IS EVIL

[Zhukov]

I thought you meant crocodiles, and I was about to say that I like crocodiles and I have several photos of me enjoying my distance, but you mean those plastic shoes that are just piles of turd, don't you?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Just had a celebrity sighting, kinda: Jani Lane, the former lead singer of Warrant... as he drove into our neighbor's parked car and blew out one of his tires trying to get away.

:lol That's amazing.

why does everyone hate on crocs?

They rip little kids feet off on escalators.

[Fathom Zero]

I think escalators need more killswitches. Just one at either end is not enough, especially when people don't listen to each other.

[Tadao]

I was at the mall last week and the down escalator was turned off and roped off. The didn't trust us to use them as stairs. :(

[Fathom Zero]

That's dumb.

[Tadao]

Also, it was at the end of the mall and we wanted to go to the shoe store just at the bottom of the escalator, so we walked back to the middle of the mall, went down, and then back again. No big deal, but I kept thinking that Mitch Hedgeberg would have cried.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Too bad the mall didn't have a dicks or galyans at that end. You could have taken the rock climbing wall down.

[Pentegarn]

Also, it was at the end of the mall and we wanted to go to the shoe store just at the bottom of the escalator, so we walked back to the middle of the mall, went down, and then back again. No big deal, but I kept thinking that Mitch Hedgeberg would have cried.

Yes, but do you want a frozen banana?

[Tadao]

No, but I do want a regular banana later, so go ahead and give me one.

[Fathom Zero]

I need to use the bathroom but I'm out of toilet paper, so I'm just gonna jump in the shower instead.

[Pub Lover]

being brian blessed requires more shouting than i can currently manage
Halloween this year?

http://monkeydummy.com/blog/uploaded_images/bb2-771737.jpg

[Pub Lover]

Tasmania, New Zealand, Australia, and Britain can spout off all the zeds they want if they can learn how to pronounce "paella" >:


Except the English are the only ones who are uppity about it, so... I guess... whatever, I don't care anymore

Uh oh, did I miss the memo on Paella. :x

As an uppity Englishman of some long standing in these parts, how am I expected to refer to that god-awful Spanish shit-dish? :eek

[Zhukov]

This is true, I seem to recall the commonwealth beating the armada. Fuck their wog payellah back to their own country.

[Zhukov]

Ugh, went a bit racist there. Ignore that.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I've never heard that term before.

[Grislygus]

Pah- ae- ya is one of the most delicious fucking things in the world when made right, think of it as a spanish seafood jumble.

There is no conjoining syllable between "pah" and "aeya", which makes it fucking clumsy to say for an english speaker to say casually. As such, english speakers call it "pieYaeya", with a y sound in the middle. Except for the English, whose food critic population pronounces it pie-yella (similar to an inbred American redneck), which would't be a problem if they didn't sniff haughtily every time a FOREIGNER, (Spanish, American, or otherwise) has the UNMITIGATED GALL to correct their PERFECT PRONUNCIATION. I give a historically-accurate sample conversation in the original post

[Fathom Zero]

They are wonderful. I'm getting a pan from my mum shortly. Yummy yummy yummy

[Zhukov]

I've never heard that term before.

Wog or Paella?

[Grislygus]

DEAR PEOPLE I'VE SENT PRVIATE MESSAGES TO:

STOP IHGNORING ME OR I'LL FIND YOU

[RaNkeri]

SHUT THE FUCK UP

[Fathom Zero]

WASN'T ME, BRAH

[Grislygus]

FINLAND'S SAD BECAUSE PEOPLE PUT HIM ON IGNORE HIM EVERY SATURDAY :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Wog or Paella?


WOG



MIAMI VICE

[Sam]

DEAR GRISLYGUS, I WILL BE GETTING TO YOU PERSONAL MESSAGE SOON, I AM THINKING ABOUT THE SUBJECT OF IT AND RESEARCHING SOURCES.

[Kitsa]

I just found out today that neurosurgery will not be ruining my summer.

Fucking awesome is what that is.

[Tadao]

That is good news.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I have 2 hours to kill drinking at a bar before a show. What is the world up to?

[Pub Lover]

Pah- ae- ya is one of the most delicious fucking things in the world when made right, think of it as a spanish seafood jumble.

As such, english speakers call it "pieYaeya", with a y sound in the middle. Except for the English, whose food critic population pronounces it pie-yella

I've been saying it the way you call correct already, I am surprised at the way you suggest for British people. And I don't know how the words "spanish seafood jumble" is supposed to make it sound appetising. It still sounds like sweaty shit stink on a plate to me.

[Pub Lover]

is supposed? :dunce

and another :dunce to the errors I don't see. >:

[elx]

:(

[Pub Lover]

WOG
I lived in a black neighbourhood when I was five years old. I played with the neighbour kids. One of our favourite toys were the golliwogs. But they all got taken away one day after a lady from the Church saw us with them.


We also had a counting rhyme that involved pulling ****** toes. We were okay with this.

Then I came to I-Mockery 13 years later and decided to hate black people for laughs. Because it is oh so funny.

But it is okay, my childhood friends hate white people now too.

[Grislygus]

Pub if you are one of the british peoples that was able to correctly pronounce paella thenn I take you at your word and salute you. In other news, I just went to my new Census assignment area today and I wanted to let you guys know beforehand that if I suddenly stop posting and am never heard from again, it might be because I was stabbed and shot several times in broad daylight.





That joke's hilarious because it's true and I'm probably going to die.

[kahljorn]

WELCOME TO MY LIFE EVERY DAY

although its been a lot calmer recently.

[Grislygus]

one house had a pile of busted concrete blocks on the driveway, next to the car with the duct-tape covered door. As I got to the front walkway, three pitbulls started snarling and tackling the back gate, I realized that I was no longer visible from the street, and saw that the small "decorative" window fixed in the front door was completely smashed. That was one of the BETTER ones.

[Sam]

YOU CAN'T DIE UNTIL YOU DO THAT THING FOR ME

[Esuohlim]

SAM

[Sam]

MULEHOSE

[Zhukov]

I lived in a black neighbourhood when I was five years old. I played with the neighbour kids. One of our favourite toys were the golliwogs. But they all got taken away one day after a lady from the Church saw us with them.


We also had a counting rhyme that involved pulling ****** toes. We were okay with this.


There is a chair made of gollywogs in a junks shop here. :( It's fucking creepy as, and I'm not brave enough to sit in it.

I grew up in the highlands of Papua New Guinea as one of two white boys, but I still sung the same rhyme about ******s. Except we pronounced it 'nickers'. Then the teachers told us to stop saying ******s because it was offensive, and we were all like "We weren't even saying ******, but I guess we will now, thanks teach".

[Zhukov]

I've since reinvented myself as some sort of grungy intellectual psychonaut-stroke-opium addict
:lol

[Guitar Woman]

No joke, I fucking love drugs.

Dried opium poppies are available for dirt cheap over the internet, and can be made into a sort of opium tea that gets you very, very high. It tastes kinda like vomit! I prefer kratom, personally, but that's mostly because I can't afford to spend all day lying around doped to saturation.

Although I'm more interested in psychedelics, currently. Am considering ending my love affair with DXM, the hallucinations of which resemble the finale of 2001 with intergalactic shamans and gravity becoming fucked, along with being able to think about 12 different things simultaneously resulting in downright psychotic levels of introspection, but I've no idea what to try next. Now that I think about it, I've never gone beyond a third plateau trip, and even that was the result of me being blind drunk while dosing and not remembring much except for a fantasy in which I swam to a castle at the bottom of the sea to gain treasure for the financial upkeep of another forum I post on. Anyway, yeah, that's a hilarious drug, despite most people thinking it a jeuvenile thing since the most common source of it is cough syrup.

LSA or various dubious mescaline cacti sound a fair bet for my next experiments, and I'm due my share of vomiting at this point. Can't decide which one yet, but Morning Glory seeds seem to be cheaper and easier to eat than an entire fucking San Pedro cactus.

[Zhukov]

No joke, I fucking love drugs.

blah about drugs

fucking San Pedro cactus.

I don't care about your habits, I was laughing at you describing yourself as a grungy intellectual. :lol

[Guitar Woman]

I wear clothes past the expiration date and like the Screaming Trees a lot fuck you

[Zhukov]

Can you stop talking about yourself?

[Fathom Zero]

Clothes have expiration dates?

[Fathom Zero]

oc1sgCT7X2c

All I need is love and oxygen! :)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I don't care about your habits, I was laughing at you describing yourself as a grungy intellectual. :lol


:lol

[Pub Lover]

Clothes have expiration dates?

The point when they are more hole than clothing is the time I think about retiring them.

I usually give it a few weeks after that though.

[Tadao]

I focused more on the word "intellectual"

[Fathom Zero]

The point when they are more hole than clothing is the time I think about retiring them.

I usually give it a few weeks after that though.

You're a teen sensation!

[Pub Lover]

I am. What I find odd is they were not so keen on giving me the sensation when I was a teen & had no qualms about it.

Aged meat. :x

[Tadao]

I bumped my head and felt a big high from it. Then right away I tasted blood but wasn't bleeding. Should I take a nap?

[Fathom Zero]

You got a bunch of tumors in your head.

[Kitsa]

tadao: I wouldn't.

[Pub Lover]

British rapper Lady Sovereign has confirmed reports she is a lesbian.
:lol

[Pub Lover]

Emma Watson's spokesperson has branded an alleged naked photo of the Harry Potter star a fake - insisting the risque image has been technically doctored.
The Brit actress' legal team sprung into action after a photo allegedly featuring the 20 year old without clothes hit the web, immediately branding the nude snap a product of computer wizardry.
A representative for the star tell Britain's The Sun newspaper, "If you look at it you will see that the head is marginally too big for the body (but clearly too big!) and the angle of the face is physically impossible with the body in that position."
The photograph has now been removed from the internet.
WENN.com
Has it, indeed? :eek

[Colonel Flagg]

I'd wager that Mr. Pub has saved a copy on his "hard drive".

[Pub Lover]

I am sad to say you have lost that wager, but there are many, many perverts out there that haven't been stroke down with my current affliction.

[Pub Lover]

Struck. :dunce

[Colonel Flagg]

I don't know, the first version was funnier. :lol

[Zhukov]

Clothes have expiration dates?

I was looking at it like he was saying that he wears clothes after the fashion fad is over. I didn't think he was old enough to have gone through more than one fashion era though.

Like if you wanted to be grungy you would still wear baggy jeans and flannel shirts like Cobain did.

[Shrubfest]

HAY GRISLYGUS

JUST HAD A CHEF ON THE RADIO TELLING ME IT WAS PIE-YAYA NOT PIE-YELLA.

We are not all ignorant! But then, his paella was made with rabbit and squirrel.

[Dimnos]

Dear Willie,

What will happen at the end of lost?

I bet at the end it zooms out from a TV and shows JJ there pitching the show to ABC. :\

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

HAY GRISLYGUS

JUST HAD A CHEF ON THE RADIO TELLING ME IT WAS PIE-YAYA NOT PIE-YELLA.

We are not all ignorant! But then, his paella was made with rabbit and squirrel.

I always thought it was PIE-AYA. Just basing it off HANK SCORPIO's pronunciation though.

I bet at the end it zooms out from a TV and shows JJ there pitching the show to ABC. :\


:lol
:DALLAS


Oh...or even better
:THEARISTOCRATS

[Colonel Flagg]

I bet at the end it zooms out from a TV and shows JJ there pitching the show to ABC. :\

That would work if they were able to photoshop Suzanne Pleshette and Barbara Bel Geddes acting as part of a focus group telling the execs that "The concept just isn't plausible."

[Grislygus]

But then, his paella was made with rabbit and squirrel.

Holy shit



What

[Dimnos]

That would work if they were able to photoshop Suzanne Pleshette and Barbara Bel Geddes acting as part of a focus group telling the execs that "The concept just isn't plausible."

I was thinking it would be more like..


JJ ~ "You see. Its kind of like Seinfeld. It really isnt about anything! :) "

Execs ~ "Thats stupid. Your stupid. >: "

JJ ~ "Fine! Ill just go make a show for FOX. They will air ANYTHING! >: "

[Colonel Flagg]

:pagebrak
I was thinking it would be more like..


JJ ~ "You see. Its kind of like Seinfeld. It really isnt about anything! :) "

Execs ~ "Thats stupid. Your stupid. >: "

JJ ~ "Fine! Ill just go make a show for FOX. They will air ANYTHING! >: "

That works too. ;)

[Tadao]

Hi fagholes!

What is the first album you received or bought?

http://www.metallized.it/public/recensioni/Rush_Signals.jpg

Bonus points : My cousin bought it for me while I was in Waikiki.

[Pentegarn]

Wow....

I am not sure I can remember my first received album, I think it was this

http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q1/Pentegarn/the_beatles_1967-1970_b000002uz1.jpg

EDIT: On a related note Tadao, the first CD I bought was Fly by Night by Rush

[Kitsa]

sad but true:

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/sadbuttrue.jpg


I had a fun time today...had to get my front teeth shortened because they'd broken so many times that there was no more real tooth to stick the fillings to. :(

[Tadao]

I had Fly By Night on wax when it came out. I traded it to my friend for his Blizzard of Oz album and my older brother almost hit me for it. I don't regret it though. Ozzy was hot in my time. We used to write his name on our knuckles to show support or the lunatic. Ten Metallica promised us treasures of electric evil and we all know what happened after that.

: KITSA

You should look on the the bright sid eof life, OR ELSE I WILL KILL YOU AND ALL THE ONES YOU LOVE!

[Kitsa]

Well, it wasn't really moping. I was minorly bummed by it but mostly I was amazed that tooth-shortening was an option. And damned if they didn't grind the bottom bit of my front teeth right off. It doesn't look horrible, I guess. And the lido kept wearing off, so they had to shoot me so full of it that my top lip was all puffed out like a bird beak.

And it was free because they felt bad that my teeth break so much. So there's that.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

First tape I received:
http://www.musicobsession.com/Pictures/1/2/12gauge147557.jpg

First tape I bought
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ks7jpcKdTK1qa5iaw.jpg

First cd I bought:

http://www.radiometal.com/images/albums/Osbourne,-Ozzy-Beavis-And-Butt-Head-Do-America--Original-Motion-Picture-Soundtrack.jpg

[Grislygus]

You made a good fucking decision with that trade, Tad

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/FullMoonFever.jpg

Well, it was a cassette, but still

[The Leader]

http://blog.its.ac.id/abimanyu82neitsacid/files/2007/10/ys.jpg

I had a fun time today...had to get my front teeth shortened because they'd broken so many times that there was no more real tooth to stick the fillings to. :(
My grandfather had all of hist teeth pulled when he was in the Navy and got dentures.

Have I written that to you before? Regardless, that's what you should do.

[Zhukov]

Given to me

https://www.auralexploits.com/ebay_images/lp/GreenDay_Dookie_1.jpg

First bought

http://www.formatmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/13/beastieboys_nasty_cover.jpg

[RaNkeri]

Do C-casettes count?

The first one given to me, and partly paid by me, was the Scatman's world c-casette.

The first ine I bought was Scooter's singles collection cd

[Sam]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

[Sam]

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR WAX CYLINDERS THAT FINLAND ONLY RECENTLY ADAPTED, BECAUSE IT OFFERS MUSIC AT A HIGHER QUALITY THEN WHATEVER PIECE OF SHIT YOU WERE USING BEFORE THAT

[Sam]

FUCKING FINLAND

[RaNkeri]

Good morning Sam :)

[captain516]

Miami Vice on tape, fuck yeah
Also I can't remember the first album I got,

[Colonel Flagg]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31-zk5mBcgL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

I think I received this when I was about 6 or 7 years old. It was a great album :(

[Colonel Flagg]

Since the picture is so damned small, the album title is "Hans Christian Andersen and Tubby the Tuba" narrated by Danny Kaye.

[Shrubfest]

That is actually amazing.

I think the first tape recived was bjorks 'its oh so quiet'

[Kitsa]

no one but Col. Flagg and myself admits to having records as a child?

I also had a bunch of those books with records that dinged when you were supposed to turn the page, but I always got impatient and thought fuck this and just read the book.

We also had "Goofy Gold" and that one should be standard issue in every household.

[Fathom Zero]

Who can't love Danny Kaye?

[Grislygus]

HE NEVER GOT 'NUFF JOBS, DAMNIT

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

The first 3 records that were given to me were a HE-MAN adventure, on a small record( a 33?) and Jayce against the plant people(there was an 80s animated show about it too)

and Black Sabbaths Paranoid from my uncle.

[Pentegarn]

no one but Col. Flagg and myself admits to having records as a child?

I also had a bunch of those books with records that dinged when you were supposed to turn the page, but I always got impatient and thought fuck this and just read the book.


I do, but they were (like you mentioned) stories read on records, like The Hobbit, or The Tortoise and the Hare, or Long Name No Can Say. Stories as opposed to music, so I omitted them from my response

[Dimnos]

My office is flooded. :( I might have to abandon ship. :)

[Grislygus]

Another Trojan blocked from I-Mockery's front page. Wheeeeee.

[Pub Lover]

On the topic of records/cassettes/CDs that I have considered to be owned by me:

There are none. :eek

[Pub Lover]

I still have the option of what my first purchase will be. :eek

[Pub Lover]

Someone form a band called The Dicks and release an album mentioning dicks! :eek

[Pub Lover]

I can wait. ;)

[Dimnos]

If we form the band can we call the cd Cheese?

[Sam]

RICHARD CHEESE WILL SUE YOU

[executioneer]

Another Trojan blocked from I-Mockery's front page. Wheeeeee.
damn it get firefox or something :( or at least totally disable scripts

[Grislygus]

I GOT firefox

[executioneer]

do you have adblock and noscript :(

[Babs]

grow a dick BRO

[Zhukov]

Babs I think that you would be a better person if you just didn't post half the posts that you post.


Every second one that you go to type out, just stop and leave it. Now, one could argue that you should just stop 100%, but we both know that isn't going to happen, so why not give this a little try, ok?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

My office is flooded. :( I might have to abandon ship. :)

Makes me think of the Monty Python short with the wall street pirates.

[Kitsa]

I was kind of reminded of the Kids in the Hall sketch with the office trappers.

Alouette, gentille Alouette...

[Tadao]

Hahaha I forgot about that skit.

[RaNkeri]

-- .. .- -- .. / ...- .. -.-. . / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- / -.-- . .- ....

[Sam]

FUCK NO

[RaNkeri]

HELLO SAM :)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Where do you even find a Miami Vice translator for braille?

[Sam]

THAT'S NOT BRAILLE IT'S MORSE CODE MOTHERFUCK

[Pub Lover]

.. . . .. . . . .. . .. . .. . .. . . .
. . . . . . . . . .. ..
. . . . .. . .. . . .. .

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

THANK YOU FOR HAVING MY BACK PUB.

[MarioRPG]

RICHARD CHEESE WILL SUE YOU

:rock

[Kitsa]

THANK YOU FOR HAVING MY BACK PUB.


I don't know why, but I read that as "THANK YOU FOR HAVING MY SACK PUB" and that put a completely different spin on it.

[captain516]

Weeklies? Everything is from the beginning of march. I thought we were supposed to be writing reviews, what the hell happened to that?