I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Tadao]

Here's a fun memory. 3 years ago I was tweeking at work in Santa Cruz. Some unsuspecting hippy asked me what I was grooving to in my headphones and this is what they got an ear full of.

--1yy7FjE3M

They were horrified but nodded their head in compliance. :(

[Fathom Zero]

one banana two banana three banana four

[Tadao]

OMG I'm digging through youtube and found this.

It's best at 59 secs.

CwlnoxSvkGQ

[Fathom Zero]

lololololololololol

[Tadao]

3a1F8T5kzxM
:rock:rock:rock:rock:rock:rock:rock:rock:rock:rock :rock:rock:rock:rock:rock

[Tadao]

Turn you round and do it again ;)

[Aaarg]

q. how come nobody told me that moscato is fucking delicious?

a. a group of three late-20s/early30s african american women did at the grocery store in 2007 or 8.

q. how come i didn't listen?

a. because other people in grocery stores have told me how much they like potted meat.


tadao cooking cats made me L.O.L.

might be the wine

[Tadao]

tadao cooking cats made me L.O.L.

might be the wine

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69702552

[Aaarg]

i'm sure i've seen that at some point. you're a freak. you ok.

[kahljorn]

i just spent two hours trying to troll people on cnn :(
people prolly wont even read my comments

what a waste of time

oh man it makes me laugh though

[kahljorn]

guys i really decided that I want to pledge my support for returning us to traditional marriage values. all ofthem as biblically as possible and i need your help.
I need to write a really convincing speech and i need al of you to help me support my new organization and spread word of my organization which someday will hopefuly help NOM. For one i really want to congratulate this DAN KATHY fellow, CEO of Chic Fil A, for being totally awesome and saying what all of us really mean and I want all of you to channel this guys passion into my new organization. He's really the one that has inspired this movement.
So here's what i want to do:
Like I said we need to return to traditional marriage values. in the last hundred or so years they have seriously eroded with the family structure basically completely disintegrating into modern society.
The family structure is being attacked at its very roots. The structure of man and wife is under constant challenge and scrutiny in our great country. So long as the head of the family is under attack the instution of marriage and our society as a whole is in constant danger.
There are several components of modern marriage which we need to strongly challenge in order to begin to take back the tradition of marriage. Women are allowed to say whatever they want to their men, they have a say in finances, they cheat and get away with it, they are protected from being beaten, can vote, have jobs and think that they are as important as men. this has gone on for far too long.
It is unacceptable that an inferior species, created from only ONE mcrib, who unleashed sin and evil upon the world, should be considered equal to man and it has eroded our traditional family structure with the man as the head of the family. In the bible, if your woman betrayed you, you could kill her. Now, certainly, I wouldn't want to kill her or anything. We aren't savages. I think we should just have a reeducation camp where women can learn how to sew and take care of children, really we only need them around to fuck anyway so its ok.
Secondly children. Children should have no rights they are our property. In the bible if a son was unruly and did not obey, you could stone him to death. Now certainly, we can all agree that it isn't necessary to kill our children, instead we should just break their legs or shackle them.

plz help to support this message.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

AMEN

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm glad we live in civilized times where we don't stone kids to death anymore without letting them win the lottery first.

[kahljorn]

:lol

a lotto before every stone

[kahljorn]

I POLISHED UP MY SPEECH A BIT DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY ADVICE? MAYBE I NEED AN ORGANIZATION NAME THATS AWESOME LIKE HUMANS OvERTURNING MARRIAGE OBSTRUCTIONS SYNDICATE:

Hello citizens of this great nation of America,
I come to you seeking support from all of you to help support a new organization which shares many of your most sacred values. This organization is a privately ran non-profit organization that will explicitly spread its message through the internet and word of mouth, is volunteer only and DOES NOT accept any sort of monetary contributions. The goal of my organization is similar to organizations such as NOM (National Organization for Marriage), and ultimately its aim is to support these organizations.
First, I really want to congratulate DAN KATHY, CEO of Chic Fil A, for being a pillar of our community and saying what many Americans hold to be their highest moral imperatives. I would like all of you to lend any support you can to Dan Kathy, NOM, senators and anybody else who helps to defend our most sacred values.
We strongly believe that "the biblical definition of the family unit" is the most sacred, the most cherished, and the most necessary component of our great nation. It is our countries connection to its religious roots and our morality derived from God which has led us to be such a great nation -- and we are wrong to forsake it.
In the last hundred or so years the most sacred values of our society have begun to erode with our cherished family structure beginning to unravel. Many traditional families over the years have become less cohesive; there are more divorces, more children born out of wed-lock, and more children with only one parent than there ever was before.
The family structure is being attacked at its very roots. The structure of man and wife is under constant challenge and scrutiny in our great country. So long as the head of the family is under attack the institution of marriage and our society as a whole is in constant danger.
There are several components of modern marriage which we need to strongly challenge and dedicate ourselves to addressing in order to begin to take back the tradition of marriage. To begin with, we need to be firm about the definition of marriage; a relationship between man and wife. This bond between man and wife is being challenged by our modern conventions. Women are allowed to say whatever they want to their men, they have a say in finances, they cheat and get away with it, they are protected from being beaten, can vote, have jobs and are allowed to think that they are as important as men. this has gone on for far too long.
It is unacceptable that an inferior species, created from only ONE mcrib, who unleashed sin and evil upon the world, should be considered equal to man and it has eroded our traditional family structure with the man as the head of the family. In the bible, if your wife betrayed you, you could kill her. Now, certainly, I wouldn't want to kill her or anything. We aren't savages. I think we should just have a reeducation camp where women can learn how to sew and take care of children, really we only need them around to f*** anyway so its ok.
Secondly children. Children should have no rights -- they are our property. In the bible if a son was unruly and did not obey, you could stone him to death. Now certainly, we can all agree that it isn't necessary to kill our children, instead we should just break their legs or shackle them.

PLEDGE YOUR SUPPORt TODAY

[kahljorn]

also i think its time that we got serious about leviticus 19:19. anybody wearing polyster-cotton clothes is going to hell and we can't have them dragging down our society.

[kahljorn]

i think i might need to make t-shirts that has leviticus 19:19 on it.

“‘Keep my decrees.“‘Do not mate different kinds of animals.
“‘Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.
“‘Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.
:lol

its so perfect for a t-shirt

[Aaarg]

i would buy all the t-shirts

[kahljorn]

DO YOU WANT 100% COTTON SIN FREE SHIRTS OR THE SINNER COTTON WITH ALDAGAON POLYSTerYGefbfvsgvl

[Aaarg]

i was some of that "blood cotton" from south afirca please.

[Esuohlim]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/Animal/IMG_0006.jpg

qUrVHC3dbM8

[Aaarg]

oh my god what a hideous baby

the banana was pretty cute tho

[kahljorn]

isnt there a site where you can make custom t-shirts?

[Kitsa]

i think i might need to make t-shirts that has leviticus 19:19 on it.

:lol

its so perfect for a t-shirt

The "zonkey" at the Creation Museum's petting zoo might be interested in one.

[Kitsa]

Ever leave a room to get away from people and they all follow you?

[Aaarg]

Awful, no.

[Aaarg]

At first I thought it was weird that the state privatizes its vehicle registration process, because I grew up in VA where the DMV is the DMV and you wait in line for an hour to ask a fucking question and find out you're missing two of the forms you need or whatever.

But after dealing with the license plate offices a few times, they're fucking great.

"Hi, I need to renew my registration, but my address is different and my license still has the old one."
"What's the new address?"
"blah blah blah."
"28 dollars. Here you go."

You don't even need to verify my identity at all?

pretty cool, now I won't get pulled over because this stolen car's registration is out of date. Fuck yeah!!!!!!

[Kitsa]

Mr Kitsa got into trouble with one of those privatized places (in a mall, of course), trying to renew plates. In the time it took them to "sync" it with the DMV at large, he got pulled over for expired plates.

[Tadao]

http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/9vl4Fukh794Zjl3hnX03sw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTMxMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en/blogs/sptusolyexperts/fatamercanfamily.jpg

[Zhukov]

Yes, I have problems with leaving a room and then all the people I left it for follow me.


Happens all the god damn time, and I'm not even subtle about announcing that I want to get away.

[kahljorn]

u got a lot of cats or something?

[Esuohlim]

GEORGE JEFFERSON DIED

"YOU BIG DUMMY"

1891-2012

[Kitsa]

I liked how Celebrity Death Beeper ended with, "Movin' on up".

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

GEORGE JEFFERSON DIED

"YOU BIG DUMMY"

1891-2012

RIP MR RICHFIELD. IT WAS NICE WORKING FOR HIM.

[Fathom Zero]

eu5FF5BkrwY

rip that's what's up

[Rongi]

whats good with the dick touchin, y'all

[Aaarg]

when the dick touches another dick

[Fathom Zero]

lemme touch yer butt

[Aaarg]

wrong thread jack-Ass!!!

[Kitsa]

Dammit, where did all the hockey people go, I have Important Issues to discuss that only they will appreciate

ok, so not really hugely important

but the part about only them appreciating it stands

[kahljorn]

man ive been applying at all kinds of places to get a few jobs and one of them was pizza hut.
they sent me an e-mail today from their agency that hires people asking me if i want to get a pizza (PIZZA HUT IS AN EQUAL Opportunity EMPLOYER)

>:

[Tadao]

http://cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/7516033726_8214426dda_z.jpg

[Aaarg]

equal opportunity cutie

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

You should work at the red panda agency. I would patronize your establishment.

[Tadao]

I'd get busted for stealing from work. :eek

[kahljorn]

don't you dare patronize red pandas >:

[Kitsa]

ginger discriminating fuckers

[Dimnos]

To be fair, they are soulless.

[kahljorn]

so i just made a facebook account and even though I haven't put in anywhere i live, any jobs, any friends or any information about me besides my name (which i even used a shorten version of my name), birthdate, and phone number so I could be validated, facebook knows everywhere I've lived and makes recommendations of people I know.

Like in my, "People you might know" it had 10kghost -- I've never tried to contact him on there or anything. And people like 10k knew me as Stew too, not as my real name. Kind of wonder if they are violating privacy like google did.

[Hangie]

It's not violating your privacy if you agreed to the TOS which probably had all sorts of weird shit in it. Plus don't they scan whatever email you sign up with or whatever?

[kahljorn]

google still got busted and they had a TOS

ive never sent bill an e-mail b4. I honestly have no idea how it could've known that I knew bill.

[Hangie]

Damn son, that's weird. Did you like the I-mockery page, perhaps?

[kahljorn]

no, nothing. I literally just started my facebook account the other day. Had nobody on my list or anything. But i still saw the dinosaur and billiam.

[Hangie]

I'm a bit jealous, FB doesn't recommend me anything related to me. Just recommends random men from India I don't know and pages for people making stupid videogame jokes.

[Aaarg]

everything you do on the internet is recorded

and things like facebook and google ads make it super obvious

i browse incognito often though i don't know if it helps

[kahljorn]

i dunno its just weird that of all people it would recommend bill would be one of them when he lives on the otherside of the continent and i dont think he even knew my real name

[Tadao]

I was wierded out that my facebook account (in which I'm a 17yo girl) found co workers from 10 years ago. Fuck them nigg3rs.

[kahljorn]

you should've added them and checked if they were pedophiles

[Tadao]

I did add them and now I have old friends that I don't talk to anymore in my fb and it would be uncomfortable to unfriend them. Also I told them who I was when I friended them.

[Tadao]

I think I need to make a new FB account and only add internet friends.

[Tadao]

Gimme a good username please.

[kahljorn]

NotTadao

[kahljorn]

I REALLY WANT TO ADD ESULOHIM AND COLONEL FLAGG SO I HAVE SCIENTIST FRIENDS AND LOOK ALL SMART

[Kitsa]

Kitsa Guevara has only internet friends and you bastards.

[Hangie]

Call yourself Pram Maven

[Dimnos]

^^^

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

My phone # might be linked to my fb account since I use it on mobile. Maybe fb knew our phone numbers talked. Or maybe it was like "both these people have 100 zugs. They probably know each other"

Or maybe fb knows dicks touch other.

[Kitsa]

You're all very touching dicks

[kahljorn]

the phone number thing was the only thing i could think of but thats super creepy too

[Tadao]

Reach out, reach out and dick touch someone.

[Fathom Zero]

Dearest Fathom Zero,
I wish it were worth insulting you and pointing out what an idiot you are, but I know you'll just somehow absorb that into your passive-aggressive cunt and it'll just come out to disgust me later.

I don't understand what is passive about the active and open hatred I have for you at any given moment.

[kahljorn]

cuz u say shitty annoying crap all the time without necessarily directing it at people.

[Tadao]

I was going to make a Welcome to I-Samurai pic, but I don't own a kimono anymore. :(

[kahljorn]

do you speak japanese tadao?

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

I tried to learn but it didn't take. I'm half ass learning mexican because I'm inheriting apartment buildings in L.A. and need to be able to tell the Home Depot workers where to dig holes.

[kahljorn]

i really want to find a translated copy of Tsukimi no sho ;/

[kahljorn]

I don't understand what is passive about the active and open hatred I have for you at any given moment.
also i said your cunt was passive-aggressive its a little different.
unless you associate yourself with your cunt.
nm i gues you do :lol

[Fathom Zero]

r_J6hCCQ_ng

You dig Cat Stevens, Tadao. I really dig the Foreigner Suite.

[Tadao]

Cat Stevens is in my top 5 musical heroes. Haven't listened to his Yursuf stuff. His guitar tab book is the first one I bought. I thought it would be easy. It's not. :eek

[Guitar Woman]

http://olivil.imgur.com/

[Tadao]

Is this the new furry fan fiction you wrote?

[Guitar Woman]

Not enough transgender wish fufillment for that to be my work.

[kahljorn]

FUCK IT ILL LET THE CHIPS FALL AS THEY MAY

[kahljorn]

SON OF A BITCH

[Tadao]

Hey FZ, I assume you like the kinks?

LUFBNMzZ4_8

[Fathom Zero]

I liked them, but I hadn't really paid attention to them, at least until you pointed them out to me just now. I'll check out their discography now, I guess.

Good shit there, I'd wager.

[Tadao]

Do you know if you like early kinks or late kinks?

TraFxjPyDns
r9ObLGRq33o
wEw0ZYlpYXE

[Fathom Zero]

I LITERALLY KNOW NOTHING, TADAO. NOTHING. WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND?

[Fathom Zero]

Also, I'll see your Kinks and raise you a Cleaners from Venus.

c4ngvYh5uCk

EDIT: And an EGO-WRAPPIN'.

BDzlz3I_XJI

[MarioRPG]

Hey Kinks music, this thread is alright after all.

[Tadao]

It would download the 3 ablums

Give the people what they want
State of confusion
and
Word of mouth

[Fathom Zero]

I'll start there, then. Wicked.

[kahljorn]

WICKED SICK

MONSTER KILL

[Fathom Zero]

RAMPAGE

[Esuohlim]

The Fall!
Gang of Four!
The Pop Group!
Public Image Ltd.!
Magazine!
Wire!

[Tadao]

EDIT: And an EGO-WRAPPIN'.

BDzlz3I_XJI

Ok this is driving me crazy. I know I've heard this song in English before but I can't figure out from who or where.

[Fathom Zero]

Well, it means 'Beaks and Cherries' if that helps at all.

[Tadao]

I THINK YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

I did.

[Esuohlim]

Music is gay as hell ok

[Esuohlim]

jk

But I am spending the weekend avoiding the Lollapalooza crowd because they look and act like the planet's worst creatures imaginable

[Tadao]

You've never been to Coachella then.

[Fathom Zero]

Been to Lollapalooza and I was at a Tool performance, a Depeche Mode, and a Lou Reed one. The Depeche Mode one actually had the least dickheads.

Dan Deacon played there, as well, and his crowd involvement stuff was awesome.

But it was hot as all fuck that weekend.

[Fathom Zero]

Coachella and Electric Daisy whatever and that Warped tour - on top of the shitty music, idiots are dying left and right. I hate going to these things outdoors. What sucked about being as young as I am is that I could only go to shows very recently. Rooms are chillerrrrrrr.

SPEAKING OF WHICH

My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult is playing near me next month, Tadao. Should I GOOOOOO?

[Tadao]

YES YOU SHOULD, AND YOU ALSO SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID OF LEATHER CLAD BISEXUALS ON ECSTASY

[Fathom Zero]

THAT IS NOT EVEN SOMETHING I CAN BE AFRAID OF

YOU HAVE NO IDEA

[Kitsa]

You went to a Lou Reed concert expecting there to be no dickheads? Did you ever notice the shining. fucking. beacon. of one onstage?

[Fathom Zero]

There was so much pot in the crowd that it felt pretty mellow. But people were also spilling stuff on me, as a consequence. That and I was fifty waves of people away from the stage, so I never cared much for it, anyway.

Lou Reed is 5000 years old and looks like Jerry Springer.

[Dimnos]

Whoever said Jersey was the armpit of America clearly never went to Boston. That place is one giant shit can. It stinks worse than Houston and the roads are laid out like the city planer just dumped a pot of spaghetti on the floor and said "this should work". Never have I seen a city in more desperate need of a top notch arsonists. Four hours after checking into my hotel, I demanded a refund got back in my car and drove hours back to New York just to get as far as I fucking could from that shit pile. >:

[Tadao]

Yeah but their cream pies are the best. :yum

[Dimnos]

Yeah, I do have to give them that. :\

[Kitsa]

Atlantic City is pretty fucking horrible too. I once saw two of those bicycle-cab guys beat the shit out of each other over a fare.

[Tadao]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Zy8jzgb_l2I/Te-Tpg4d-PI/AAAAAAAAAFU/7JLeG34_jWQ/s1600/birthday+pet.jpg

[Colonel Flagg]

.. dblpst

[Colonel Flagg]

Atlantic City is pretty fucking horrible too. I once saw two of those bicycle-cab guys beat the shit out of each other over a fare.

Only once?

In Philly, the tow truck drivers shoot each other (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20011396-504083.html)for work.

[Kitsa]

Philly to me is a magical land that exists on TV. I haven't been there since I was a kid. I touched the Liberty Bell, back when it was just in a little glass building and you were allowed to.

Guys, I ran over a dead bat with my bike, approximately how frightened should I be. I thought it was a clump of leaves.

[Tadao]

OH NOES! YOU GOTZ RAIBEEEEEEEEEEZ!

[Colonel Flagg]

Last count I've caught (and released) 10 live bats through the years at various locations in my house. Never ran one over, though.

[Kitsa]

You know what the damnedest thing is. I just got OUT of rabies quarantine.

Seriously.

What happened was, my cat rolled in something in the garage. I had him in the bathtub trying to get it out of his fur. He bit through the meat of my palm, under my thumb. It hurt like a sonovabitch but didn't bleed, so I became worried about the need for antibiotics. It was a Friday night and nowhere was open, so I ended up going to the ER, thinking they would throw me in minor care and give me some Augmentin. Instead, they made a big deal because of their supposed "Animal Bite Protocol", threw me in Major Care, told me they thought a tooth had broken off in the wound, took X-rays, did not find a tooth, put me on IV antibiotics and told me that they would be putting me under rabies quarantine.

Know why?

Because the damn cat was scheduled for his rabies booster the following Wednesday, but I guess you can't have a shot until ten days after a "bite incident", so since he was late for his booster he and I had to be put into quarantine until a doctor had evaluated me and a health department worker had evaluated him and made sure neither of us was foaming at the mouth, lurching around and/or displaying homicidal tendencies.

I seriously got a big long notice full of dire warnings regarding any fleeing of myself or cat, and if either of us died during the quarantine the following offices were to be notified, etc etc etc, and at the end of ten days I had to go to the doctor and be checked to see if I was rabid. The health department worker drove out and looked at the cat, signed a paper, and we were released from quarantine.

All over a damned bottle of Augmentin.

So you can see why I wouldn't want to repeat the whole stupid process just because I ran over a dead bat.

[Tadao]

I assume you already bleached or threw away your pants ad socks and shoes, then bleached the lower half of the bike and cleaned the top. I wouldn't be worried after that.

I'm not positive, but I don't think the rbies virus lives in dead animals.

http://www.vaccineinformation.org/rabies/qandadis.asp

You cannot get rabies from the blood, urine, or feces of a rabid animal, or from just touching or petting an animal.

[Colonel Flagg]

[...] and if either of us died during the quarantine the following offices were to be notified [...]

Did you ask if they were willing to hold a séance to commune with your spirit in 10 days time, just in case?

[Tadao]

Oh Flagg, I thought you would have made an argumentative joke. :(

You know that you have Seth duties, yeah?

[Dimnos]

I thought testing of non humans required decapitation?

[Kitsa]

I think formal testing does, but this whole system was basically eyeballing us to make sure we weren't slobbering and stumbling. My doctor basically made a big joke of it. He turned on the tap in the exam room and said, "Scared of this?"

[Dimnos]

And why go to the hospital just because your own cat bit you? I would have waited to see if it got infected first. Maybe even self medicate first too.

[Kitsa]

I don't have a stockpile of antibiotics here. I went because cat mouths are dirty and it was a deep puncture wound (imagine if you dug into the meat of your palm with a staple remover, that's what it was, approximately). I couldn't get it to bleed clean. And it was the hospital instead of the doctor because it was Friday night and no one was open.

And it was antibiotics because I'm an immunocompromised former cancer patient.

[Colonel Flagg]

You know that you have Seth duties, yeah?

Please forgive me; I don't know WHAT I could have been thinking. :tear

[Colonel Flagg]

My doctor basically made a big joke of it. He turned on the tap in the exam room and said, "Scared of this?"

Did you say "TURN THAT OFF BEFORE I GO ALL RAMBO ON YOUR ASS!!!!" That would have been funny.

[Dimnos]

And it was antibiotics because I'm an immunocompromised former cancer patient.


Ahhh.

[Tadao]

I ended up going to the ER, thinking they would throw me in minor care and give me some Augmentin. Instead, they made a big deal because of their supposed "Animal Bite Protocol", threw me in Major Care, told me they thought a tooth had broken off in the wound, took X-rays, did not find a tooth, put me on IV antibiotics and told me that they would be putting me under rabies quarantine.

Know why?

Because you were already augUmentive?

[Kitsa]

Was I?

[Tadao]

I suppose it's auguable.

[Chojin]

http://theawesomer.com/photos/2011/03/031011_deus_ex_hr_augmented_edition_t.jpg

[Tadao]

http://easyquestion.net/thinkagain/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/HighFive.jpeg

[Kitsa]

Fortunate drug protocol for comedy eh wot

[Tadao]

I was gonna ask you, is there heavy police coverage in La Bufa? I thought that town was supposed to be pretty chill. Or is it that there are normal amounts of cops but heavily armed like all the cops in Mexico.

la bufa has just like 3 cops tops

Hey Darkvare,

I have some badges, do you want them?

This was a well thought out set up and DonVare has missed the layup. :(

[Dimnos]

To young? :(

[Kitsa]

Probably too young, and foreign language puns, references and jokes are always the hardest to learn.

[kahljorn]

i didnt get it either :\

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

VqomZQMZQCQ

TFwprS_L6tg

gx6TBrfCW54

[kahljorn]

oh

man i havent seen blazing saddles since i was like 8 years old

[Aaarg]

last week

[Kitsa]

Uai7M4RpoLU

I love Madeline Kahn so much :tear

[Tadao]

Hahahaah 10k those are the exact 3 examples in the exact order that I used to explain it to my wife last week.

[Colonel Flagg]

I miss Cleavon Little. :(

[Tadao]

****** lover

[Fathom Zero]

I didn't know they did the Killer Klowns from Outer Space theme.

tBzeVkcJnVE

one of da best themes ever

[Tadao]

They're a pretty underrated band.

[Aaarg]

i love meeting people who aren't from around here. mostly because they recognize that i'm not from around here.

most of the rewarding conversations i've had with strangers in the past year start with them saying "you're not from here." sweet.

this evening a former new-yorker said "this place is a nightmare." so nice to hear that from someone else who knows.

[ThrashO]

whenever my cat bit me when I was a kid my mom said it itched so bad because cats paws are so dirty.

also whenever my mom used to slap me or hit me it would itch afterwards so i thought she was dirty too :(

[Kitsa]

I went here yesterday:
http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/roundhouse.jpg

I got a shirt that said WHISKEY on it in big red letters.

[Colonel Flagg]

:jealous

[Kitsa]

First shirt, fourth tier down.
(http://theroundhousebar.com/retail.html)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I went here yesterday:
http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/roundhouse.jpg

I got a shirt that said WHISKEY on it in big red letters.

This would look really good in three different frames split with the trees down the middle.

[Tadao]

or as it is now

[Kitsa]

It's hard to get a wide-angle pic without the trees. If you go on the bar side of the trees, you're too close.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

or as it is now

IF I WANTED YOUR OPINION I WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR IT HERE

http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69708753

[Zomboid]

Holy shit this place died.

[kahljorn]

everybody who made all the outrageous characters quit posting i guess

[Aaarg]

dang

[MarioRPG]

It is also summer

[Tadao]

IT'S THE SUMMER OF TADAO!

[elx]

boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob

[kahljorn]

speakin of boobs, when u turn 18

[elx]

im like 20

[elx]

i feel like when you get old you just quit having things to say, like talking just takes too much work and its not worth it because you dont care and realize nobody else cares SO WHY EVEN BOTHER.

[Tadao]

Did your boobs turn 18 yet?

[kahljorn]

i feel like when you get old you just quit having things to say, like talking just takes too much work and its not worth it because you dont care and realize nobody else cares SO WHY EVEN BOTHER.

i think i got old when i was like 12 then

[Zomboid]

Same here. ELX POST A RECENT PIC.

[k0k0]

I just got my engagement called off. I was mainly wanting to get married so I could complain about my bitch ex-wife though, so it's understandable.

[Tadao]

Did she find your collection of roms dedicated to penises and buttfucking?

[kahljorn]

elx can we have a recent picture of your boobs

[Chojin]

Holy shit this place died.

i guess people just don't like forums these days
ha ha ha it's all up to the lil korean kids anyhow

[k0k0]

Did she find your collection of roms dedicated to penises and buttfucking?

No, but she didn't react well to me saying "I wanna fuck that bird" upon seeing a harpy in Dragon's Dogma. Her deal with me was that I wasn't an asshole to her. In her mentally ill mind, that meant I didn't care enough. She always remarked on how I didn't get jealous when she talked to dudes. I let her talk to her ex boyfriend and didn't give much of a shit. But I doubt she was even smart enough to open a rom if I showed her how.


And I second the motion for elx boobs.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:pagebrak

I just got my engagement called off. I was mainly wanting to get married so I could complain about my bitch ex-wife though, so it's understandable.

:(

More Boobs.....or asses or whatever

:)

[Tadao]

Do you have a pic of your exes boobs?

[k0k0]

The thing that I hate was that I broke up with a hot girl to be with her. She just seemed a lot more stable.

http://i.imgur.com/JcmUs.jpg

This is that girl. We did it in her parent's driveway at night, in a lake surrounded by people, in a public park, in the back of a pretty dead bar, and a ton of other places. The girl was a freak.

[Tadao]

Yeah, I wouldn't worry if she was talking to other guys either.

[kahljorn]

yea you fucked up. you should've punched her in the face more

[Zomboid]

Is that the style there? Giant ship medallions?

[k0k0]

Yeah, she stole that medallion from over my toilet. I got it back though, so don't worry. I can get small piss splashes on it once again.

[Zhukov]

Elx is 20?

Sorry to hear the bad news, Koko. Or is it not actually sad news? Am I sorry to hear this or not? I never saw you as a marriage type of guy though.

[k0k0]

It's not sad news at all. It's sad that I didn't get my ex wife, but there are other future ex wives out there. What's sad is having to leave her brother's house and head back to mother's. Mother is big on Jesus, and likes to push religion on everyone around her.

[Tadao]

I'd like to push my god on your moms titties.

[k0k0]

I didn't know you had such love for the elderly, Tadao. I'll introduce you to mother if you like. I think you'd make a good pop pop.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

The thing that I hate was that I broke up with a hot girl to be with her. She just seemed a lot more stable.

http://i.imgur.com/JcmUs.jpg

This is that girl. We did it in her parent's driveway at night, in a lake surrounded by people, in a public park, in the back of a pretty dead bar, and a ton of other places. The girl was a freak.

What year was this taken in? I haven't seen that color yellow in a long time.

[k0k0]

It was taken 3 months ago, but I have the first version of the iphone. It doesn't have any kind of auto anything. It's a slow piece of shit, but it was free.

[Tadao]

I didn't know you had such love for the elderly, Tadao. I'll introduce you to mother if you like. I think you'd make a good pop pop.

I don't wanna marry her geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

[Sam]

SUP FAGS?

[Tadao]

Sup ******

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I would have given her the bat signal

[kahljorn]

how come her vagina is slanted

[Tadao]

So I downloaded the Lost Boys Rifftrax and totally forgot that I lived in Santa Cruz for a few years. :eek

[Fathom Zero]

STAB SANTA CRUZ

[Tadao]

So many drug adventures :eek

[Tadao]

If you want stabbings and sharp edged mutilation. You want Eureka.

[Tadao]

Ok, revisited Stab SC. Turns out the do the whole county. that includes Watsonville. It's a giant Tijuana there.

[k0k0]

I just made some beef ribs and ate one whole rib before I realized the shit was raw inside. That'll teach me to mindlessly eat while watching shows on the computer.

[elx]

does being engaged really mean that much nowadays? it seems so casual and super easy to call on and off

[Esuohlim]

Does being married mean that much either, haha. RELIGION AND TRADITION, rolleyes

[k0k0]

It does matter! You can get away with a lot more bullshit when you're gonna be locked into a marriage.

[Kitsa]

Being locked in a marriage was one of the worst mistakes I ever made.

[Aaarg]

dude yeah if i say something about being engaged people are all \"ooh when's the wedding !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! congrats" and i'm all "leave me alone there won't be a wedding fuck off"

i hate people

http://dumpfm.s3.amazonaws.com/images/20101017/1287299425351-dumpfm-timb-black.cat.hiss.strobe.gif

[Kitsa]

Hate weddings.

Wedding cake is ok though.

[k0k0]

I hate weddings too. That's why my plan was to look as stupid as I could for it. I was going to buy a bright yellow tuxedo with a top hat a la dayman.

[Fathom Zero]

Cake is pretty fucking good.

[k0k0]

Is it weird that I'm still going out and hanging out with my ex fiance's mom every few days? We have fun times going to book stores and just talking.

[Fathom Zero]

I think it's weird you have any human contact, all things considered. So "ride that pony" is what I'm saying here, I guess.

[Sam]

Do you fuck her?

[Chojin]

sup guys
mba program is awesome
china has a majority representation and all the azns treat me like a superhero

[k0k0]

Do they all call you "Triple X"? They may think you're vin diesel.

[Aaarg]

and the best part? no cheeseburgers

[Tadao]

I think I want to fuck Coupon Suzy because she seems retarded and would make lots of funny moaning noises.

CRPsRUDMc_Y

[k0k0]

I would bone Coupon Suzy too. I agree with the noises. It'd be like the time I boned that deaf girl.

[Aaarg]

deaf jam

[Zomboid]

It's nice that you've sort of turned you life around, Chojin. It's not as unexpected as, say, Jamesman getting a girlfriend, but it's still nice to hear.

Edit: Just to be clear, that Jamesman girlfriend thing was theoretical. I can't see it happening.

[Kitsa]

Coincidentally, there are lots of coupons for condoms and KY out there.

[Zhukov]

I knew Chojin would make it big in Asia, but I figured it would be for his Dance Dance Revolution skills.

So I was hanging out with a friend tonight, and she was telling me a story of how several years ago her and a few other people were scouting out an abandoned building to squat in. Two guys, her and another female... and a dog. They went at night, wore dark clothes, brought torches etc, and broke in to have a look around. Long story short, someone noticed them breaking in and called the cops, they did a runner.

She said that they left the dog, and then had to run back and get it while the cops were still looking around the building. I interrupted her and said "Why the fuck did you bring a fucking dog? What is this, Scooby Doo?" and we laughed.

I think it was the best call I've ever made on the fly, and I'm really happy with how it turned out.

Later on we were talking about the olympics and team cycling (you know, four people in each team, riding against another team in a big velodrome) and during conversation it came up that she thought they were all riding one bicycle built for four. I said "What the fuck?! They are all riding SEPARATE bikes! It's not the fucking Goodies!" and I decided that I was on fire.

[Fathom Zero]

My face just got hot reading that

[Tadao]

Did she blow you out?

[Colonel Flagg]

You guys are missing the important question - this girl, is she Daphne or Velma?

[k0k0]

I hope she's Velma. I would so pound her til her glasses broke.

[Otto]

gHey wow, I'm not dead. At least not until I finish making that suit of bulletproof armor out of an old plow and wet phonebooks.

Here's a moltar comix while I get drunk (more adrunk)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/Arnoldreap/tumblr_m8grmpS6tL1qciqfdo1_500.jpg

coupon suzy gives me the creeps, she's like some sort of cursed realdoll and I bet all you can hear when you're around her is her wheezing for air.

[Tadao]

That makes me want her even more :eek

[Sam]

What's the fucking Goodies?

[kahljorn]

my balls

i dont run trains on bitches i run fourseater bicycles

[Otto]

good on ya

Nothing dries up a lady's love canyon faster than unclean fuels


After spending a week with some relatives from Germany, I'm convinced that there is no way to make German not sound menacing.

[Tadao]

A bomb would work.

[Otto]

It would be appropriate given everything they said would sound at home being screamed into a shortwave radio while soldiers hurl bundles of teletype pages into a burning barrel.

[Zhukov]

What's the fucking Goodies?

http://www.thegoodies.info/mypictures/goodies_complete_companion_front_r.jpg

Also; Daphne.

[Kitsa]

Go team ginger

[Pub Lover]

why isn't this thread extremely racist yet


So Fartin messaged me just now. I think he is drunk. He is reading old threads on here and giggling when people say his name. It is nice to know people share my hobby.


P.S. Everyone that asked for ELX boob pics should send me pics of their dick.

[kahljorn]

you already gt pics of my dick

now you can send me a thank you

[Otto]

macro lens

[Esuohlim]

It's a shitty week to be named Armstrong

[Tadao]

https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/23/u18r326wRkK6SwidzADgcA2.gif

[Tadao]

This skit made me laugh. It reminded me of when Mock and Co. used to mock people.

http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/3c88ly/john-oliver-s-new-york-stand-up-show-kurt-braunohler---craigslist-missed-connections

[Aaarg]

for the past month, nearly, a church i pass every day has had this on their sign:
"GOOD EXAMPES HAS TWICE THE VALUE AS GOOD ADVICE."

cool.

[Tadao]

IN BED

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[Rongi]

y'all are some fags

[Aaarg]

muffins are good
i wish this town had a decent place to buy baked goods

[Fathom Zero]

I had a grilled english muffin with avocado and hummus for breakfast.

Lethal breath.

[Fathom Zero]

:guywhoaddsnothingtoaconversation

[Shrubfest]

I just watched 'The people under the stairs' and the mutant who shows them the gold reminded me of you, Fathom.

I will not be surprised if I'm not the first to say this.

[Tadao]

:lol

[Otto]

The image of that mush-mouthed hillbilly loping around in a gimpsuit and waving around a shotgun is probably the most terrifying thing I've ever seen (and I've dropped acid at a podunk county fair in the deep south).

[Fathom Zero]

Some guy said I looked like Duane Allman, but that's much more accurate.

I don't have the excuse of being imprisoned for many years in a cellar to explain my skin and bone structure.

:(

[LordSappington]

Everyone tells me I just look like a fag :(

[Otto]

I get that or retarded/autistic/insane. It's really hard to tell when people are really listening or just feigning interest because they think I have the Downs.