I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Tadao]

:pagebrak

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

HOW DARE YOU PAGE BRAK IN THIS THREAD

[MattJack]

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[Kitsa]

You guys must never have taken any Dilaudid, although I come by all mine legitimately and involuntarily :(

Mine hit me when I was in x-ray and made the lead apron they draped over me turn into thousands of caterpillars.

[Otto]

I quit taking my bi-polar meds for like a week and I kept thinking that the lizards in my yard were talking to me when I went out to smoke.

[MarioRPG]

You guys must never have taken any Dilaudid, although I come by all mine legitimately and involuntarily :(

That's unfortunate. That stuff is hella intense. The only people I've known to have it prescribed had bone marrow cancer.

[RaNkeri]

:conspiracy

[RaNkeri]

Man, they just killed a commie who was being played by Sledge Hammer :eek

[Kitsa]

I just got back from a day of hiking, found a dollar on the trail and a cave spider as big as my hand. Now where's that nature thread?

Mario: I do come by it a lot for cancer stuff, but mainly they give it to me in the ER when there's some sort of fresh spinal fuckery like intractable spasms or my back going out to the point where I can't move.

[Pub Lover]

Do I know who the fuck Tim Black is? >:

[Pentegarn]

Me beyotch

Probably should have clarified when I sent that request

[Pub Lover]

Yay, internet pals. :D

#datamining

[Kitsa]

Word of advice: never drink a room-temperature starbucks doubleshot. It's thick and weird and gross.

I downed it anyway, though. Needed the caffeine to make my excedrin work better, due to hiking killing my feet.

[kahljorn]

I don't know if i should be curious about Dilaudid or not :(

[Kitsa]

It wasn't my goal. It's a strong opioid. It's more or less similar to morphine, I guess, except I don't hallucinate like that on morphine and I have less of the unpleasant physical sensation when it kicks in (like the adrenaline feeling of falling).

Every time they give me dilaudid, I experience it a little differently. The time before last time, the whole room shimmered like a mirage and I amused myself by making up new languages.

[Babs]

I'm in a coma

[kahljorn]

morphine makes me hate myself for all of my decisions in the last 5 hours, but maybe thats sort of like what you mean by the falling sensation

[Zhukov]

You guys are all druggies. I've got a prescription for morphine because of migraines, but I don't take it at all.

[kahljorn]

pussy

zhukov we have a lot more in common with our drug usage than you might think. I never take morphine to get rid of migraines either.

[Zhukov]

Well there you go!

[Kitsa]

I'm definitely no druggie. I hate narcotics and especially opiates...if they give me a choice, I turn them down, because I hate the adrenaline-sick feeling they give me and I don't like not being in control of myself. However, in long-term cancerland and especially when you have a problem with your spinal cord, they assume you want loads of pain meds, and I periodically get shot up with the stuff in hospital.

So I have experienced more than I wanted to that way, but had to deal with enough drug seekers when I was working in an ER to know I never wanted to be one.

I take excedrin and coffee for pain control, and what it doesn't cover I just deal with.

[Tadao]

morphine makes me hate myself for all of my decisions in the last 5 hours, but maybe thats sort of like what you mean by the falling sensation

Wow, that's what pot does to me. It's a real downer.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm in a coma

You should not be in a coma. It is still summer.

[Kitsa]

Found this luna moth with a broken wing and brought it home. Can't do anything for it, since adult lunas don't feed and moth-medicine is not advanced enough to mend the wing, but at least I can ensure it doesn't meet a gory death at the hands of the neighborhood terrier (or any number of other predators).

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/luna1.jpg

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/luna2.jpg

[Babs]

I've been in a drug coma for the past week. No more bad acid and 2CB, I just want to be a model a citizen.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I don't know what 2CB is because I am a model citizen.

[kahljorn]

oh i think that's a tryptomene i remember people making a big deal out of it for a while cause it was legal.

Wow, that's what pot does to me. It's a real downer:O :O that sucks :( i can't imagine living without pot.

[Fathom Zero]

I remember my friends losing their shit over these legal drugs, salvia and the like. Idiots.

[kahljorn]

:lol
i still go places and see salvia marketed as a pot replacement :( anybody who smokes salvia expecting weed-like effects is tOTALLY FUCKED.

[Fathom Zero]

2gGXZ_wo9lg

:rock

[executioneer]

I don't know what 2CB is because I am a model citizen.
according to website dot com ( http://www.drugtext.org/sub/2cb.htm ) it's sort of like ecstacy only instead of killing boners it adds extra boners

[Kitsa]

Poor Serge Gainsbourg.

I saw Jane Birkin in concert a few years ago and it was wonderful. Except, those of us who actually knew who she was (me, who got a museum membership just to qualify for early order tickets to get the best seat possible the moment they became available, and some French foreign-exchange students behind me) were seated well behind about 20 rows of people who had just shown up because she was part of the museum concert series and had no clue about her or Gainsbourg.

You should have heard the collective moan of misery and horror when a woman turned to her companion and said, "Now, who is this again? What does she do?"

[Fathom Zero]

Jesus. >:

[Kitsa]

It was a great evening nonetheless, although she was only doing songs off Arabesque and I would have given anything to hear an impromptu Di Doo Dah. I would have even accepted it with the North African instrumentation.

[Fathom Zero]

http://www.kegworks.com/product.php?productid=174611

So you can get a case of 24 for $30. Not bad, really.

[executioneer]

plus ~$20 shipping (or that's what it gave ME anyways)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

according to website dot com ( http://www.drugtext.org/sub/2cb.htm ) it's sort of like ecstacy only instead of killing boners it adds extra boners


:lol I can't even imagine.

[Babs]

It's just like mescaline.

[Kitsa]

excuse my naivete showing here, but with all this drugging how does anyone ever pass drug tests for work?

[Dimnos]

You get a job that doesnt test. Or you quit just long enough to pass one then jump off the wagon again.

[The Leader]

Or you don't get a job and just steal money out of your dad's wallet.

[kahljorn]

2cb probably doesn't show up on drug screens :O

meth/pills almost never show up on drug screens unless you do them like the day before you take a drug test :O but it depends on what kind of drug test; if its a really sensitive one then it might take like a week for meth/opiates to get out of your system.. Really the only drug you can get busted on is weed.

[Babs]

You don't even have a dad.

[MLE]

I choose to believe Babs said that to kahl.

[kahljorn]

FUCK BOTH OF YOU

:tear

[kahljorn]

I DO TOO HAVE A FATHER YOU BASTARDS

also I am now a proud user of legal cannabis :O :O :O

[executioneer]

legal by some definitions of the term. it's still illegal according to the feds :(

[kahljorn]

yea, true enough :(

at least the feds wouldn't bother arresting someone for having an eighth.

also i got a free gram cause i was a new customer :O

[Dimnos]

Is it super better than the shit you used to buy?

[Babs]

Pictures now Kahl, I shouldn't even have to ask :rolleyes

[Kitsa]

:pagebrak


"Cathy" is ending? But...but...where else won't I get my fill of inconsequential nonsense about chocolate, shoes and purses?

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/12/after-34-years-cathy-comic-strip-to-end/?src=tptw

[Dimnos]

That shit has been running all this time?

[Esuohlim]

Cathy is ending?! ACK

[kahljorn]

Is it super better than the shit you used to buy?Actually, no. But the dude i used to get it from had the best shit :(

to be honest i think the real difference is that the shit we got .. well... like with medicinal cannabis they like sort it into "effects" or whatever, so there's like weed for day time which keeps you peppy and weed for night time which knocks you the fuck out.
i like the kind that knocks you the fuck out and we bought the kind thats peppy :O its still really good shit though.

also my camera got stolen by a drag queen :(

[Babs]

I just ate at Golden Corral for the first time. It fucking sucked.

[Kitsa]

I could have told you that. It's called "Corral" for a reason....the cheap all you can eats. Mooooooooooooooooo.

[Pentegarn]

My bowling league changed their banquet location from decent Italian joint to Golden Corral.

I have not gone to a post league banquet since

[Esuohlim]

ACK

[Chojin]

golden corral is a guilty pleasure of mine

they pretty much have banana and bread pudding on tap

[Fathom Zero]

I'm gonna vomit if I even see bread pudding again. Bad experiences ruin food. :(

[Kitsa]

I'm surprised you eat bread pudding :/

Tonight (:foodthread) I made Spanish rice, but with quinoa, and I tried to jack up the healthy wherever I can. There are a lot of good things about quinoa...it cooks in half the time of rice, it supposedly has an insane amount of protein and something like 8x the fiber of brown rice, etc. But there are bad things too...it's expensive as all hell, you either have to buy prerinsed or rinse it yourself to get the bitter coating off, and it does have a slightly un-ricelike scent to it.

I made the quinoa (1 cup dry yields 4 cups cooked, good deal), dumped in some tomatoes, found a small can of chickpeas and dumped those in too for texture, added some garlic and kosher salt and then thought for a minute and dumped in a shitload of hot sauce. The hot sauce masked the quinoa smell and it pretty much tasted like standard Spanish rice. I'd eat it again.

[Chojin]

i don't eat bread pudding when i'm on a diet. i demolish that shit when i'm not.

[Colonel Flagg]

golden corral is a guilty pleasure of mine

they pretty much have banana and bread pudding on tap

Strap on the feedbag!

[Colonel Flagg]

I went back to read Max's piece on the "13 Stages of Eating at the Golden Corral". I can barely see my computer screen through the tears. :lol

I miss the insane ramblings of Mr. Burbank. :(

[Otto]

I used to eat at Golden Corral a lot, until I saw this disgustingly fat guy with a cauliflower nose and confederate flag suspenders eating a pile steak with his hands. Now every time I think of Golden Corral all I can see is redneck mcgrossnose gobbling down steak.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

He was eating a pile steak? How big is that?

[Otto]

Shit, I meant a pile of steak.

[Kitsa]

I hate buffets.

Shit, this mike's harder lemonade stuff is crazy. I recommend it.

[kahljorn]

fried brown rice :(

i got suckered into going to a stupid buffet the other day that has "WORLD FAMOUS FRIED CHICKEN" and it wasn't even that famous. also all the food sucked and they didn't even have soft serve ice cream :(

[Colonel Flagg]

I used to eat at Golden Corral a lot, until I saw this disgustingly fat guy with a cauliflower nose and confederate flag suspenders eating a pile [of] steak with his hands. Now every time I think of Golden Corral all I can see is redneck mcgrossnose gobbling down steak.

i got suckered into going to a stupid buffet the other day that has "WORLD FAMOUS FRIED CHICKEN" and it wasn't even that famous. also all the food sucked and they didn't even have soft serve ice cream :(

I now have the mental image of Redneck McGrossnose with his head positioned upside-down dumping soft-serve ice cream directly down his gullet. :x

Just thought I'd share that.

[Chojin]

I hate buffets.

Shit, this mike's harder lemonade stuff is crazy. I recommend it.

i don't often drink anymore after i learned that alcohol has only slightly less calories than liquid lard

so now when i do drink, i only do shots and i don't go under 90 proof

[Zhukov]

Cathy is ending?! ACK
Well I laughed at this even if nobody else did.

[Kitsa]

I laughed, but milhouse doesn't want me laughing at his jokes.

[Colonel Flagg]

That comic never makes me laugh, so why should a joke based on the comic?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Shit, I meant a pile of steak.

:( A pile steak sounded delicious.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:pagebrak


My bowling league changed their banquet location from decent Italian joint to Golden Corral.

I have not gone to a post league banquet since

THEY DON'T HAVE COORS AT THE GOLDEN CORRAL.

[Chojin]

Well I laughed at this even if nobody else did.

i did too, but it was more of a smile than a giggling fit so i figured i wouldn't share

[Fathom Zero]

XSEYGsk6KTM

[Pentegarn]

THEY DON'T HAVE COORS AT THE GOLDEN CORRAL.

Yet another reason to never go

[Zhukov]

i did too, but it was more of a smile than a giggling fit so i figured i wouldn't share
Yeah, well, I didn't spit my drink at the screen, but I figured it was witty enough that someone should have at least said "haha, that's reasonably witty".

The LOL emoticon gets thrown around this place for a lot less I tell you what.

[Fathom Zero]

I BOUGHT SOME KNIVES.

[Chojin]

i had an appointment today to learn how to use the electronic system the YMCA has for its weight room. despite me telling the 60 year old dude there that I was only there to swim today and i just wanted to get registered with the computer and acquainted with the system, he keeps insisting that i go through their circuit.

so i figure what the fuck, i'll at least see what this is like on the off-chance i break my spine and hip in 9 places and need to use some machines.

there's a little LED screen that you have to crane your neck about 60 degrees to the side to see. you can't ever break eye contact with it because it lights up as you go through your range of motion and honks disapprovingly at you if you spend _less_ than 2 seconds moving in either direction. should you complete a full set of 12 reps, it then assumes you are done and don't need to do another. the old man helpfully explained to me then that broscience has proven that performing more than 1 set of a lift is completely unnecessary because you recruit the same muscle fibers each time if you wait between sets; but if you wait for only 15 seconds, you use a completely different set of new magic muscle fibers that will help you lift bigger next time. the more you know!

we're done after a 6-machine circuit. he reassures me that today it might seem like we spent a lot of time in there (25 minutes tops), but now that i know how to use the machines, I can be in and out of there in 15 minutes.

then at the end of this all, i mention to him that there's not enough room in the freeweights section to do olympic lifts or even deads. he recommends i use the squat rack for that.

i guess this is all funnier if you know anything about weightlifting.

[Esuohlim]

I BOUGHT SOME

:lol

KNIVES.

:lol

The LOL emoticon gets thrown around this place for a lot less I tell you what.

:(

[Esuohlim]

Dude, Choj, are you going to become one of those guys who becomes so obsessed with weightlifting and exercise that they end up building 300 pounds of muscle and as a result look much stupider than they did back when they were fat?

[Tanuki]

Dude, Choj, are you going to become one of those guys who becomes so obsessed with weightlifting and exercise that they end up building 300 pounds of muscle and as a result look much stupider than they did back when they were fat?
Aaaahhh...
dude, that made me imagine the guy with the giant arms he got from steroid usage. It was on that special "The man whose arms exploded."

Well, Choj won't become that guy, so yay.

[Kitsa]

I went to a shitty fair today and couldn't figure out for a moment why I kept thinking of Darkvare.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/darkvare.jpg

I also saw this.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/funeral.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

you can't ever break eye contact with it because it lights up as you go through your range of motion and honks AFFLACKS disapprovingly at you if you spend _less_ than 2 seconds moving in either direction.


Fixed.

Also, when you work out do you listen to Randy Orton's theme song?

[Esuohlim]

Man, by the end of the movie Benjamin Button looked like me >:

http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/4116/buttonw.jpg

[Zhukov]

I went to a shitty fair today and couldn't figure out for a moment why I kept thinking of Darkvare.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/darkvare.jpg

I also saw this.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/funeral.jpg
Love that last photo.

I also love shitty fetés and rubbish "theme parks". Places where you trudge through a muddy field for five minutes to pay $15 to get a glimpse of an oversized paper maché strawberry, (a local favourite). Or a mysterious, cloth covered doorway I saw in Scotland, advertised as "Scotland-land" and only cost ten P to walk through... the other side being Scotland. I've been to a local zoo full of all manner of bizzare and exotic animals, with favourites including sheep and a very slender german shephard chained up in the carpark.

If you like that sort of stuff (which I think you do), then you'd enjoy the book Bollocks to Alton Towers, which is a collection of such places in the UK

[Chojin]

Dude, Choj, are you going to become one of those guys who becomes so obsessed with weightlifting and exercise that they end up building 300 pounds of muscle and as a result look much stupider than they did back when they were fat?

no. i'm pretty close to my goals as aesthetics are concerned. i'd rather be 180 lbs than 250 pounds for a variety of reasons, one of which is that most actual weightclasses are in the former range.

Also, when you work out do you listen to Randy Orton's theme song?

i usually listen to it before i lift to put me in the mood to wreck some shit. while i'm lifting i listen to pandora radio on a station patterned after metallica.

[Fathom Zero]

So I just found out after trawling through Wikipedia that there's gonna be a film adaptation of The Yiddish Policeman's Union by the Coen Brothers. I'm a happy camper.

[Kitsa]

I was working outside all day and it was a very humid 90 degrees. I feel like I've been steam-cooked.

[MLE]

Tonight, I decided that I'm going to get my hair shaved into a mohawk within the month.

[Chojin]

that should bring all the girls to the yard.

[Chojin]

today's carb load:

1 box of kix
1/2 bag of pretzels
1 bag of chips
1 bag of goldfish
4 bagels
1 tub of fat free cream cheese
1 box of instant potatoes
1 cup of instant macaroni
1 bowl of plain steel-cut oats

6422 kcal | 108g fat | 1194g carb | 181g protein
100g fiber | 101g sugar

my goal for these days is 5900kcal | 62g fat | 1187 carb | 158 protein, but i'm finding it nearly impossible to get that many carbs without getting fat and protein in the process.

[Chojin]

also, my face when i put a cup of instant macaroni into the microwave but forgot to add water, and then checked on it 3 minutes later to find a pile of black ash on the tray:

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/watcat3.jpg

[Guitar Woman]

Holy shit, how bout that Summer Slam?

[Fathom Zero]

I know you're dumb as...
I know you're dumb as...
I know you're dumb as paint...

I know you're dumb as...
I know you're dumb as...
I know you're dumb as paint...

[Chojin]

Holy shit, how bout that Summer Slam?

it had a lot of potential, and then the two main events ended with suckdickery

[MarioRPG]

After reading what Chojin eats... I feel like I eat the worst crap.

[Fathom Zero]

After reading what Chojin eats, I feel so good about myself.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Happy birthday Madonna.

[Tadao]

Hope you die of breast cancer

[Kitsa]

After reading what Chojin eats... I feel like I eat the worst crap.


I get this vision of him being kicked out of a mall for wanking to whey supplements at a GNC.

[Chojin]

That's just what I eat on carb loads. On diet days, I normally eat only bison meat, poached chicken breast, and tuna sandwiches. On my maintenance days, I eat out at either a restaurant or one of the more upscale fast food places (subway, chipotle) and then eat as per diet days for the rest of my meals.

"Obsessed" is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.

[Tadao]

Why did Facebook suggest to me a friend I worked with 15 years ago? It's not like we looked for each other or that Facebook has my full name. It's kinda weird. I'm glad though but weirded out.

[Guitar Woman]

brolifting issue: I've been curling 20 pound dumbbells pretty frequently for a while now, but it seems like I'm working my forearms more than my bi/triceps (srsly, I'm starting to get popeye arms) because I barely ever feel any strain on them, and I think there's something wrong with the muscles in my left arm, since when I try to lift the weight in that one after a few curls it just kinda goes dead and won't move. What the fuck is up with that?

I was doing some scud work for a relative hauling heavy shit for him, and the next day my left arm all around my lower bicep (the tendon area by my elbow is how I'd describe it) was completely frozen, like, in a 90 degree angle, and I had to put in in a sling to keep it from straightening out and exploding. It stayed like that for a few days, and then I could use it again. That might be related.

I'm probably just doing it wrong, but I think I'm gonna switch to pushups, crunches, chin-ups and the like because I don't want to murder my muscles from improper weightlifting technique

Plus I'm not trying to build muscle anyway, I just want to drop all my flab and look like Elric of Melnibone, and maybe define my abs a little

[Tadao]

Your signature makes me not want to read any of that.

[Guitar Woman]

No love for Bowie?

Also, I'd not take advice from you, faggot butt, so I guess that worked out favorably

[Tadao]

It's your whole anime fanboy to bowie narcissism setup. Makes me believe that there isn't a whole lot of use in reading a paragraph framed by what you are visually selling.

[Guitar Woman]

To be fair, Yakui technically isn't an animu character, that's just the only style the internet knows how to draw

[Fathom Zero]

Tadao, can you be my daddy?

[Tadao]

Let me see pics of your mom and then we'll talk.

[Fathom Zero]

She dyes her hair pink and rides a motorcycle.

[Sam]

She's Bod?

[Fathom Zero]

:eek

[Tadao]

http://bigstupididiot.com/files/2009/09/FonzPinky.jpg

HOTCHIMOMMA!

[Esuohlim]

KNOCK KNOCK

[Tadao]

GO AROUND BACK

[Esuohlim]

OK

[Esuohlim]

KNOCK KNOCK

[Tadao]

COME ON IN, I'M ON THE TOILET. BE OUT IN A SEC.

[elx]

HAVE A SEAT, I MADE YOU COOKIESSsssssss

[Chojin]

gw, only women curl 2 lb weights 9000 times and expect to get 'toned'

and yes; pushups, bodyweight squats, and chinups are like a million times more useful for your purposes than curling.

[Esuohlim]

I HAVE PILONIDAL CYST COMPLICATIONS. (MEANING IT'S ON MY ASS). Please suggest alternatives to sit ups, sarge.

[Zhukov]

I too have problems with being bothered to do anything other than sleep and eat. Please suggest alternatives to exercise and proper diet.

[Guitar Woman]

I said 20 pounds, fgt

If I couldn't handle 2 pound weights I would probably have bigger problems than being out of shape

[Chojin]

I HAVE PILONIDAL CYST COMPLICATIONS. (MEANING IT'S ON MY ASS). Please suggest alternatives to sit ups, sarge.

where on the ass?

situps aren't a terribly useful exercise, and i have a hard time believing that a bump on your ass would keep you from doing crunches, or you probably wouldn't be able to do things such as "lay on a bed"

for ab-only isolation, you could do dragon flags (http://www.unique-bodyweight-exercises.com/dragon-flag.html) or hanging hip raises (http://www.exrx.net/WeightExercises/RectusAbdominis/BWHangingStraightLegHipRaise.html)

I said 20 pounds, fgt

If I couldn't handle 2 pound weights I would probably have bigger problems than being out of shape

my advice remains the same. curls are only important for people who already train in the weight room, and even then are already are past the beginner stage. it's an isolation movement that works a vanity muscle. it won't help you 'lean up'. cut it out.

I too have problems with being bothered to do anything other than sleep and eat. Please suggest alternatives to exercise and proper diet.

ima stab you

[executioneer]

is stabbing good exercise

[Chojin]

is stabbing good exercise

depends on what you're stabbing with. a knife would just be a tricep isolation exercise. swinging a 2-h sword around would be more compound and make for a better exercise.

[MLE]

Swinging isn't stabbing.

[Sam]

YOU WOULD NEED A THRUST STYLE OF MOVEMENT.

[elx]

fall semester has started for all of the coooool kiiiiiiiiids

[elx]

and single moms

[elx]

why did boys stop going to school? :( it's like a 60:40 ratio nationwide and like 30:2 at mine :(

[elx]

......not that i mind!

[Kitsa]

I couldn't tell you.

I had a long day which included dental work. Drinking something and going to bed is sounding like an excellent plan.

[elx]

it's because they're all going to jupiter to get more stupider

you should most definitely not sleep kitsa, you might eat a spider

[Zhukov]

why did boys stop going to school? :( it's like a 60:40 ratio nationwide and like 30:2 at mine :(
Some of us had to get jobs to pay the bills, rather than skills to pay the bills. :\

[Kitsa]

Already dealt with a sowbug killer earlier and feel like I have them in my hair.

The spiders, it's like they find me.

When I was at the dentist earlier, they did all their work just as the anesthetic was 3/4 worn off. Then they asked me if it felt right. How should I know? I was starting to get sensation back in my upper lip, but it still felt like someone had pounded some tinkertoy pegs up where my front teeth had been. It's like the absolute wrong time to ask someone if their teeth feel right :/

I am having another "mike's harder lemonade" and I'm not quite sure what is in this but I'm seeing double and I may or may not have sent a comment box of utter gibberish to the good people of MAC cosmetics.

[elx]

that's ok! the whole main target audience for mac cosmetics is brainless women, so your gibberish may very well make more sense to them than the usual commentary. :(

[Esuohlim]

elx to answer your question it is because school is for losers, boooooooo

[elx]

milhouse you are my brother, i think we should bond. you should start by telling me a really embarrassing story.

[Esuohlim]

OK, mom says you were conceived in the restroom by weekend dad at the racetrack as a celebration for Dale Earnhardt's victory that day.

[Fathom Zero]

Hahaha

[captain516]

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/member.php?u=9501
I hope this is someone's character. And that someone better put this to good use in the future.

[Sam]

MULEHORSE AND ELX ARE BOTH MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, I AM SO BLESSED BY OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST

[Grislygus]

okay so I've had a couple glasses and I'm watching fucking Soul Train because there's nothing else on, and there's smokey goddamn robinson and the black guy from Ghostbusters performing and there's these animations and the announcer is a grand king pimp badass and this is awesome. How many people watched this stoned out of their minds in the seventies

[Grislygus]

brolifting issue: I've been curling 20 pound dumbbells pretty frequently for a while now, but it seems like I'm working my forearms more than my bi/triceps (srsly, I'm starting to get popeye arms) because I barely ever feel any strain on them, and I think there's something wrong with the muscles in my left arm, since when I try to lift the weight in that one after a few curls it just kinda goes dead and won't move. What the fuck is up with that?

I was doing some scud work for a relative hauling heavy shit for him, and the next day my left arm all around my lower bicep (the tendon area by my elbow is how I'd describe it) was completely frozen, like, in a 90 degree angle, and I had to put in in a sling to keep it from straightening out and exploding. It stayed like that for a few days, and then I could use it again. That might be related.

I'm probably just doing it wrong, but I think I'm gonna switch to pushups, crunches, chin-ups and the like because I don't want to murder my muscles from improper weightlifting technique

Plus I'm not trying to build muscle anyway, I just want to drop all my flab and look like Elric of Melnibone, and maybe define my abs a little

Hokay, as the the guy who already claimed popeye status, and the only guy on these forums other than chojin who can do 100 rep hammer curls with 25 lbers and 20 reps with 50 lbs, i continue to lay claim

[Grislygus]

of course, chojin will be unimpressed by this evidence of inefficient lifting, but still. STEPPIN ON MAH TURF BROTHER

PYTHONS

[Grislygus]

that was misleading. fifty reps PER ARM with 25 lbs, 100 total; only ten eps per arm with 50s,

[Grislygus]

Your signature makes me not want to read any of that.

WHAT YOU BASTARD I WILL ACTUALLY JOIN GW ON THIS ONE

[Sam]

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DRAWRING GODDAMN YOU

[Grislygus]

THE WINGS NEED TIO BE FINISHED, I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN


BECAUSE MY GF JUST LET ME DOWN AND DOESN'T WANT ME TO DRIVE DOWN AND SEE HER TOMORROW EVEN THOUGH IT'S A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP AND I'M FUCKING STREEEEESSED OUT ANYWAY SO I NEED TO SEE HER BUT YOU KNOW THERE'S NO WAY I CAN TELL HER THAT SO WHEN SHE TEXTS ME WITH "lol, actually my grandma just got out of the hospital early, tomorrows not a good time" I JUST TEXT BACK WITH "awright" AND THEN WHEN SHE TEXTAS BACK WITH "sorry :(" I'M ALL LIKE "lol sall good, don't worry about it" BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW THAT I'M A TOTAL PUSSY INSIDE BUT SHE KNOWS ALREADY BUT SHE'S POLITE ENOUGH TO PRETEND THAT omg i'm watching an informercial for Www.armink.com, fake tattoos

this is a hilarious oh my fucking god this could be an snl skit

[Grislygus]

so yeah, i suddenly have the whole fucking day to finish it tomorrow

[Tadao]

Go over to GW's house and listen to my chemical romance you homobuttfaglovehole

[Chojin]

Hokay, as the the guy who already claimed popeye status, and the only guy on these forums other than chojin who can do 100 rep hammer curls with 25 lbers and 20 reps with 50 lbs, i continue to lay claim

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/repranges.jpg

ECCENTRIC CONCENTRIC

myofibrillar hypertrophy refers to muscle density (or actual strength; notice it matches up under the 'strength' result), and sarcoplasmic hypertrophy refers to muscle size. 20+ reps is generally only good for depleting muscle glycogen, which (unless you're carb cycling) does nothing but make you weaker and burn the shit out of you with lactic acid.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328670
btw i don't agree with everything in this article so if anyone actually reads it (doubtful) and wants clarification on anything, let me know

[Grislygus]

so once I double the reps on the fifties I'm good. does the overkill factor also apply to sets? I usually do five

[Chojin]

If you're doing 10 reps with the 50s, i'd increase weight, not reps. I only go over 10 reps on anything if I'm closing out a last set and want to be sure that I can increase weight the next time. Also, I'd use an 8-10 rep set in moderation (switch between 3-5 rep sets and 8-10 rep sets every month or so) or for exercises for which you are prone to injury (for example I've hurt my lower back 3 times now doing squats, so I no longer do 3-5 rep sets of those; an 8-10 rep set of squats forces me to use a lower weight to achieve the same level of muscle fatigue).

I've never seen a credible routine go over 5 sets, and most routines will have you doing 3 sets (with some exercises only needing 1 set, such as the deadlift). Lactic acid buildup is cumulative with either high reps or high sets and is the factor attributable to 'feeling the burn'. Neither a burning sensation nor soreness the day afterward is an indicator of a successful workout, so aiming for lactic acid generation through a high-set routine isn't really doing anything for you that a 3-5 set routine wouldn't.

Also it would be advisable to quit being a faggot and do compound exercises, preferably with a barbell (with certain exceptions where unrestricted ROM recruits more muscle fibers or prevents injury). I don't think you stated what it is you're doing with dumbbells, but I'm going to go ahead and assume you're doing nothing but curls, which is essentially the same as doing nothing at all. If you're just chasing a 'sick pump', pushups are a superior exercise and don't require any equipment.

[Fathom Zero]

why would I want to lactate?

[Grislygus]

yeah, just saw your site mentioning the 5x5 as being ideal... as far as what I'm doing, I only mentioned hammer curls. i generally do militaries, squats, regular curls, hammer curls, leg lifts, and pushups... so yeah, no compound lifting. That generally happens to people when they don't have a whole lot of free time to lift weights religiously

[Grislygus]

'course, I can't get preachy, since i just lift weights because I can

[Chojin]

you mention press, squats, and pushups which are all compound. idk what you're implying by "don't have a whole lot of free time to lift weights religiously", since compound movements cut down on your time in the weight room by working lots of muscles simultaneously (you can easily do an effective workout with 3 compound lifts).

'course, I can't get preachy, since i just lift weights because I can

this is the among the best reasons to lift. the worst is if you're doing it for some bitch or futurebitch.

why would I want to lactate?

milk is a great source of protein, and you can save a bundle if you produce it yourself.

[Grislygus]

hell, the only goal I have is to figure out a way to get my sixpack back without giving up beer, liquor, red meat, and carbs. other than that, I just don't care


probably the reason that goal hasn't been achieved

[Chojin]

six-pack abs are about bodyfat levels, and bodyfat levels (esp. at lower bounds) are determined entirely by diet.

[Grislygus]

squats and pushups are compound lifts?! I thought that compound lifts involved routines like women do in excercise programs at the gym

i need to hit wikipedia, i think

[Grislygus]

six pack is body fat. okay, so I AM buying an elliptical trainer, since it's the only cardio I enjoy... so if i make a point of actually taking it seriously, the crunches will pay off?

[Grislygus]

for the first time in two years

[Fathom Zero]

go die in a fire

[Kitsa]

I had a garage sale today. Numerous interesting things happened. I sold a ballgown to a transvestite on a moped.

[Tadao]

Hahhaha, we had a garage sale 2 weeks ago in L.A. Either nothing interesting happened or I'm desensitized to the strange and weird.

[Kitsa]

There was this one family that had roughly 40 million kids, all badly behaved, who spread out and were into everything. I thought they were going to destroy every single thing I had for sale. In the end, they stole a bunch of small stuff, but several of the kids were visibly sick and coughing uncovered all over everything, so I didn't want it back.

We also had a woman who handed us fake million-dollar bills telling us that we were probably liars and would go to hell.

[Tadao]

Chances are she got the second part right.

[Chojin]

six pack is body fat. okay, so I AM buying an elliptical trainer, since it's the only cardio I enjoy... so if i make a point of actually taking it seriously, the crunches will pay off?

i had a reply all typed out and accidentally deleted it, so here's the short version:

Between the combination of exertion and the increase to metabolic rate you'll get from doing cardio frequently (as in at least every other day), you can expect to maybe burn off 500 Calories every day that you do moderate cardio for an hour. Your machine or fitness websites will tell you you're burning much more than that, but that's bullshit. For reference, a side of fries is between 500-800 Calories. Alcoholic beverages can hit 500 Calories VERY quickly because alcohol is only 2 Calories-per-gram less fattening than pure, liquified lard. A small bottle of sake has about 900 Calories. Exercise will also make you hungrier later in the day (though it blunts hunger while you're performing it).

What I'm getting at is that you will 'burn fat' much quicker and more reliably by just changing the way you eat. Switch to diet sodas. Stop drinking alcohol or limit it. When you eat fast food, stop getting combos and just order the entree by itself. For reasons I will never understand, it seems like everyone that wants to lose weight thinks the best way to go about it is to waste a lot of time and kill themselves on a treadmill. It is much more efficient to just change your diet and will also condition you better for keeping the weight off in the future.

[Grislygus]

yeah, I remember your advice on multiplying the proof by 1.7 when figuring on the calories in a shot of whiskey... i don't drink sodas or eat fast food, but i REALLY don't want to give up drinking or eating red meat

[Colonel Flagg]

:pagebrak

We also had a woman who handed us fake million-dollar bills telling us that we were probably liars and would go to hell.

Did she ask to use your rest room?

[Guitar Woman]

Quitting cigarettes sucks hardcore.

It's like my lungs are starving.

[Zhukov]

I don't think you should give up; it doesn't really sound like your personality type to be not smoking.

[Tanuki]

Last night I saw Rifftrax Live with a guy I've been dating. it was hilarious.

Also bought a Sackboy doll.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Tanuki, you can't be new AND have a guy you've been dating. That just won't work.

[Dimnos]

Quitting cigarettes sucks hardcore.

It's like my lungs are starving.


Definitely one of the hardest things I have ever done. I feel for you. Keep a sack of the green around for when you just cant take it. Plus a big bag of jolly ranchers for the times and places you just cant toke up. :(

[Fathom Zero]

Shrub, you look even more like a gypsy than Dixie. :o

[Tadao]

What are you talking about?

[Fathom Zero]

they say that
nothing is wasted:
either that
or
it all is.

[Dimnos]

Have you been hanging out with GW?

[Fathom Zero]

Close. Bukowski.

[RaNkeri]

so, I was supposed to go see Inception with my friend, but apparently shit is still hot because it was sold out :/

[RaNkeri]

I would totally hang out with FZ

[Guitar Woman]

I don't think you should give up; it doesn't really sound like your personality type to be not smoking.

Yeah I thought this too, but that doesn't change the fact that it's horrible for me.

I also have no idea what the fuck I'm going to replace smoking with, since you can pretty much do it all the time every day without immediately debilitating yourself, and not many other drugs have that luxury. Also, I always thought it was fun, and basically did it whenever I was really bored, so now I dunno how the fuck I'm going to pass the time.

Also Dimnos, I was gonna take up grass just to quit tobacco, but by some hilarious twist of fate I can't get downtown at the moment, so I guess I'm just gonna have to rough it

[Esuohlim]

Last night I saw Rifftrax Live with a guy I've been dating. it was hilarious.

Also bought a Sackboy doll.

I SAW THIS TOO

THE THEATER WAS FULL OF NERDS :rolleyes

I BLENDED RIGHT IN

[Shrubfest]

Shrub, you look even more like a gypsy than Dixie. :o

Based on what?

I'm not arguing, just intrigued.

[Dr. Boogie]

The morning radio show was doing a bit about Michael Jackson having a new video game, and they were playing a modified version of the Kid Icarus theme in the background. That made my day.

[Guitar Woman]

I tried smoking salvia to take my mind of cigarettes, to smoke something, and to make a psychedelic breakthrough, but with a normal lighter it doesn't work, and with a torch lighter my bowl starts telling me she knows the Bic and how unreliable it is.

I thought this was absolutely hilarious, and could not stop laughing.

[Fathom Zero]

I would totally hang out with FZ

And I would you, bby.

Based on what?

I'm not arguing, just intrigued.

You just got tagged in a buncha pictures recently. They were nice.

[Tadao]

:flirt

[Fathom Zero]

guys make passes at girls in denim jackets

[Tadao]

IT'S TOO LATE, SOME NICE GUY ALREADY BORED HER TO DEATH. SHE'LL NEVER FUCK A NICE GUY AGAIN. YOU SHOULD KICK HIS ASS.

[Fathom Zero]

I feel bad that ladies have to deal with glum cunts like that.

[Dimnos]

They choose to.

[Fathom Zero]

I feel bad that ladies have to deal with glum cunts like that.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://barkhouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/bark_hist_page_04.jpg

I wish I had some stalker b gone
JxTa0M_4FcI

[Dimnos]

I think its marketed as pepper spray.

[Tadao]

Her face works just as well.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

She is Guano-Crazy.

[Esuohlim]

You just got tagged in a buncha pictures recently. They were nice.

POST 'EM HERE SON :highfive

[kahljorn]

I tried smoking salvia to take my mind of cigarettes, to smoke something, and to make a psychedelic breakthrough, but with a normal lighter it doesn't work, and with a torch lighter my bowl starts telling me she knows the Bic and how unreliable it is.ive heardpeople say you gotta use SPECIAL LIghtERS or millions of other magical things to get high on salvia but when i did it i just smoked like two bowls in a row really fast with a normal lighter

[Guitar Woman]

it also just sucks

[Esuohlim]

two bowls of saliva sounds gross

you crazy kids

[kahljorn]

thats what you gotta do to get high on it

i also smoked it out of a bong, not a pipe :O

[Fathom Zero]

Jbxi9hxctk8

man I just ate like six bananas and I feel dizzy. :x

[elx]

the new msn messenger in beta is pretty sweet. it automatically appears you offline to everyone when you change your status, but then you can click on an IM window and you automatically appear online to whichever people you feel like talking to. so you get to block people without actually blocking them and with no effort. :)

[Tadao]

IS THAT WHY I NEVER SEE YOU ON MSN?

[Babs]

man I just ate like six bananas and I feel dizzy. :x

http://www.springerlink.com/content/02060rj354480858/

fucking hippie

[Kitsa]

This garage sale thing actually didn't go too badly.

A kid asked to use our bathroom but we shut that shit down pretty fast. :/

[Dr. Boogie]

A kid asked to use our bathroom but we shut that shit down pretty fast. :/

Literally.

[Guitar Woman]

Well, there go the nicotine WD's.

I guess that means I quit smoking. Now what?

[kahljorn]

NOTHIN

NOW LIFE RETURNS TO BEING AS MEANINGLESS AS BEFORE YOU HAD A GOAL

[Fathom Zero]

http://audioporncentral.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Frank-Sinatra-vs.-Flo-Rida-ft.-David-Guetta-Fly-Me-To-The-Club.mp3

[Babs]

Bill is pregnant.

[RaNkeri]

Man, I was playing baldur's gate and totally missed miami vice :(

[RaNkeri]

Baldur's Gate, fuck yeah!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

You should have modded Tubbs as a playable character. That would have reminded you.

[RaNkeri]

I would totally use a Tubbs portrait, if such existed :(

[Fathom Zero]

Rembrandt Pussyhorse

[Tadao]

Why are so many of you kids missing a funny bone? Comedy and wit where at their highest during times of great depression. You're all way to worried about your precious feelings.

[Guitar Woman]

http://www.concertlivewire.com/jpegs/interviews/bowie.jpg

[Guitar Woman]

http://www.clivir.com/pictures/smoking/cigarettes1.jpg

[Guitar Woman]

http://xfd.xanga.com/4598420b41c50228695591/s92940874.jpg

[Guitar Woman]

http://www.sweetmedicineshoppe.com/ProductImages/smudgeherbs/tobacco/perique.jpg

[Guitar Woman]

http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs29/i/2008/141/6/e/Smoking_is_sexy_by_tayler_aleks.jpg

[Guitar Woman]

http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/42133371/David+Bowie++368++368+PNG.png

[Esuohlim]

Cigarettes smell like shit so you probably smell like shit

[Guitar Woman]

DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT CIGARETTES

[Fathom Zero]

Hahaha faggot

[Guitar Woman]

goddamnit I seriously want to relapse right now but my integrity is at stake

[MarioRPG]

Smoking's not cool anymore

[Guitar Woman]

I finished off my bag of salvia in a desperate attempt to get my lungs to stop yapping at me for smoke.

I still didn't fully break through, but I fucking know evil when I feel it, and that is one nasty drug.

Not ever going anywhere near it agian.

[Fathom Zero]

I took up tea and incense, guys

[Kitsa]

I just sold a book on mouth cancer at the garage sale but that shit would have put you off cigs quicker than quick

[Esuohlim]

I hear jogging is good for smoker's lungs

[Fathom Zero]

Hairway to Steven

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

goddamnit I seriously want to relapse right now but my integrity is at stake

You don't have anything to wory about.

[Guitar Woman]

I play guitar like a duck. :(

[Fathom Zero]

Locust Abortion Technician

[MrAdventure]

i just found out the los locos kicked j horkheimer's balls into outer space

r i p my nigga

[Zhukov]

You don't have anything to wory about.
:lol

If I had a genie I would waste one wish on GW getting cancer AFTER he gives up smoking. PLEASE GENIE PLEASE!

[Kitsa]

I'm going to the largest fair in the area in a few...same one as the "SEE THE STRANGE THING" booth. You could all chip in via Paypal toward the dollar admission, I'd see the strange thing and report back.

[Fathom Zero]

I kinda want a pickled punk. But a lot of them are bad juju, so I dunno.

[Kitsa]

I looked all over for the strange thing tent and it was gone :(

[Chojin]

i bought 5 packs of blacks and a pack of black teas the other day

this thread makes me want to smoke one. i think i will.