I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[ThrashO]

yeah i dont know shit i was just curious

>:

[kahljorn]

GUESS YOULL HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY BRITHDAT

[Fathom Zero]

Kahl, your car is old enough, buy a new one.

;(

Fathom good luck with that on the internet.

well excuse me for trying to parlay the energy that fuels such quality posts into something probably mediocre

[Esuohlim]

I petition to schedule a Synchtube for the near future.

But I just readjusted to a normal sleep schedule ;_;

[Esuohlim]

j/k, good night guys

[Fathom Zero]

maybe you should readjust into not being a bitch

[k0k0]

I finally readjusted my sleep schedule too. It took over a week! I had to go to sleep 2 hours early each day until it finally kind of rolled back to normal.

[Fathom Zero]

That's normally what happens to me, especially so when I'm at school. I've lost track of what day it is. Not really a good thing when you've got to be at a lot of different classes on different days.

[executioneer]

haha i can only make dramatic adjustments to my sleep schedule by skipping sleep for a day :(

[Rongi]

so there's this hawt punk rock chick in my bio class that i've been talking to lately. she's got a lip ring and long black hair and nerd glasses and she wears iggy pop t-shirts sometimes and basically i want to fuck her real bad but i haven't gotten her number yet because i'm a coward.

also she's 24 and i'm 21 does that matter

help me out here, nerds

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

so guys

if i pay my registration at the DMv will i get my tags right away?

or will it still come through the mail

They usually have to mail them to you because they need to be made by prisoners first.

[Fathom Zero]

so there's this hawt punk rock chick in my bio class that i've been talking to lately. she's got a lip ring and long black hair and nerd glasses and she wears iggy pop t-shirts sometimes and basically i want to fuck her real bad but i haven't gotten her number yet because i'm a coward.

also she's 24 and i'm 21 does that matter

help me out here, nerds
Do it, fgt.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

so there's this hawt punk rock chick in my bio class that i've been talking to lately. she's got a lip ring and long black hair and nerd glasses and she wears iggy pop t-shirts sometimes and basically i want to fuck her real bad but i haven't gotten her number yet because i'm a coward.

also she's 24 and i'm 21 does that matter

help me out here, nerds

You need to wear a punk rockier shirt than her, notice her once or twice and not pay her any attention. Do you need me to drive down there and show you how its done. Cuz I'll get her number then give it to some jock.

[Rongi]

I would ask for it on monday but i have class right after bio

WHAT DO I DO

[Fathom Zero]

QUIT BEING A LITTLE BITCH BABY AND SAY "HEY, YOU WANNA GET SOME COFFEE LATER?"

BAM

[Rongi]

...shit yeah i guess it is that simple. IVE EVEN FUCKING DONE THAT BEFORE WITH OTHER GIRLS

thnx fz xoxox

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

HOT COFFEE

[Fathom Zero]

HOT DICKINGS

[Fathom Zero]

WITH DICK COFFEE

[executioneer]

They usually have to mail them to you because they need to be made by prisoners first.
nah thats license plates not registration tabs

[LordSappington]

I've procrastinated enough; it's time to make my motherfucking pumpkin pie cheesecake, bitches

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Just found my new favorite drink. No idea how it tastes yet

http://cdn.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2011/10/dr-pepper.jpeg

This is seriously the campaign for it.

[Rongi]

Hahahahaha

Sexism is BACK, baby

[Kitsa]

I hope it has extra prune juice and ends up giving a bunch of guys the shits.

[Sam]

RONGI

DOES UNCLE SAMMY HAVE TO FLY OVER THERE AND SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE?

BECAUSE I'LL DRINK ALL YOUR BOOZE AND SMOKE ALL YOUR WEED AND BANG ALL YOUR WOMEN.

AND IF YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS I'LL MAKE FUN OF THEM AND THEY'LL HATE YOU FOREVER.

[Emu]

Hi guys.

[Sam]

YOU'RE NEXT.

[kahljorn]

SAM WONt Smoke ANYBODIES WEED OR EAT ANY WEED BROWNIES

[Sam]

I'M A REBEL BABY

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

A BABY REBEL

[Sam]

NO

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

A MUPPET BABY REBEL

[executioneer]

http://cdn.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2011/10/dr-pepper.jpeg

http://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/dash-pepper.jpg

hurrrr

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:pickle

[kahljorn]

FREUDIAN EMOTICON SLIP

[HickMan]

CAPSCAPSCAPS I'M LEAVING WHERE I'M CURRENTLY AT SOON, WHICH IS GOOD. WORKING OUT IN A POLISH GYM IS WEIRD BECAUSE EVERYONE STARES AT YOU LIKE THEY WANT TO RAPE YOU AND THEY ALL LIFT REALLY LIGHT WEIGHT AND YOU HAVE TO CONVERT EVERYTHING FROM KG TO LB SUCH A PAIN
<3 U GUYS

[Grislygus]

SINCE THEY'RE POLISH THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF THERE'S ANY CHANCE THAT YOU'RE A FAN OF A RIVAL SOCCER TEAM WHO NEEDS HIS TEETH IMMEDIATELY PUMMELED INTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD WITH A BRICK

[Grislygus]

AND THEN RAPED

[Grislygus]

AND THEN RAPED

WITH THE STUMP OF A BROKEN BEER BOTTLE

[Grislygus]

IT'S ALL KINDS OF VICIOUS SEXY IN POLAND

[ThrashO]

AND YOU HAVE TO CONVERT EVERYTHING FROM KG TO LB SUCH A PAIN

http://www.underground-gamer.com/imagebucket/b5f045ba55b3990466d11df6f04f971b.jpeg

[MarioRPG]

Yeah america, join the rest of the world. And start emaciating yourselves too.

[Grislygus]

WE'LL GLADLY KEEP OUR FUCKTARDED MEASUREMENT SYSTEM, THANK YOU. WE'LL CELEBRATING BY CONTINUING TO DRINK ALCOHOL IN OUR SPORTS STADIUMS, AS GOD INTENDED

THEN WE'LL STARE IN A PUZZLED WAY AT THE POOR BASTARDS ACROSS THE OCEAN DRINKING BAVRIL

[Rongi]

http://www.underground-gamer.com/imagebucket/b5f045ba55b3990466d11df6f04f971b.jpeg

Thrash0 you kind of suck lately

Or maybe you've always sucked and I just recently noticed it

Either way you suck

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

WE'LL GLADLY KEEP OUR FUCKTARDED MEASUREMENT SYSTEM, THANK YOU. WE'LL CELEBRATING BY CONTINUING TO DRINK ALCOHOL IN OUR SPORTS STADIUMS, AS GOD INTENDED

THEN WE'LL STARE IN A PUZZLED WAY AT THE POOR BASTARDS ACROSS THE OCEAN DRINKING BAVRIL

AMEN

[Shyandquietguy]

Thrash0 IS terrible and always has been terrible, Rongi.

I regret ever acknowledging him making anything funny.

PS: Thrash0 do you hate it when you get cut off by them gangsta thugz? I do too.

[liquidstatik]

..

[kahljorn]

I believe you can call him toll free at 1-800-234-6281

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

He might be with admiral schmidlap though.

[k0k0]

Nah, dude is hanging out on his sugar yacht with General Mills.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

GENERAL BADNESS

[ThrashO]

GENITAL REDNESS

[kahljorn]

JERRYCURL MADNESS

[liquidstatik]

nvm i found the song

[liquidstatik]

..

[Esuohlim]

WAS IT ANAL CUNT

[Sam]

WAS IT ANAL CUNT

IT WAS EITHER ANAL CUNT OR FULL BLOWN AIDS

[ThrashO]

aLEZunJmyjw

[HickMan]

I remember Capn'Crunch being big on AC.

[liquidstatik]

..

[Rongi]

AC are garbage. I don't know what possessed me to willingly listen to that shit 8 years ago

[Esuohlim]

Rongi you sure do have have a lot of regrets!

[Rongi]

yeah :(

[Rongi]

i mean listening to bad music when i was a teenager isn't really that big of a regret

this whole living up to the standards you want to live up to thing i don't really put enough effort into. i should change that

great look at what you did milhouse, you made me post a bunch of gay shit f u >:

[Esuohlim]

I bring out the worst in people :(

[Zhukov]

I listened to nothing but awesome music when I was a teenager!

Alone in my mum's basement on a Friday night.


Yeah, we all have regrets.

[kahljorn]

SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT GOINg OT AND tALKING To PEOPLE BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT THEY ARE WORTHLESS ASSHOLES AND I WILL HAVE TO HEAR A BUNCH OF SHIT IVE ALREADY HEARD BEFORE AND I WILL BE REALLY BORED

[Zhukov]

SO YOU LOGGED ON TO I-MOCKERY.COM.

[kahljorn]

YEA IT MAKES IT BETTER IF I DONT HAVE TO HEAR VOICES AND PAUSES FOR EMPHASIS

[Sam]

FUCKING HELL

[ThrashO]

Someone listened to anal cunt for enjoyment. And you say I suck.

[Rongi]

Yeah but I don't listen to AC anymore and you still suck

[ThrashO]

oh so I guess that means

06CLF2sCuRg

now.

[Grislygus]

KHALJORN YOU REMIND ME OF THE MORE BITTERLY MISANTHROPIC OF MY PAST FRIENDS AND I OCCASIONALLY WISH I-MOCKERY WAS A BAR

[Kitsa]

some Chicago radio station used to have "I Beat Up Billy Corgan Day" and it was supposed to be people who went to school with him talking about kicking the shit out of him one way or another. Probably a lot were fake.

[k0k0]

Some spambot just posted "Wear your children warm and lovely with Australia", as a thread title. I thought pram was back.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

KHALJORN YOU REMIND ME OF THE MORE BITTERLY MISANTHROPIC OF MY PAST FRIENDS AND I OCCASIONALLY WISH I-MOCKERY WAS A BAR

THE BEST BAR EVER.

JERRYCURL MADNESS

I-Mockery Chat (KAHLJORN HAS A JERRYCURL MADNESS) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=746959#post746959)

[Aaarg]

i'd like to beat up billy corgan.


so i was in line at a store and the conversation between the clerk and the man in front of me included the word "illegals" so i automatically tuned it out entirely. apparently in doing so i missed something.

she rings me up, saying "don't you think it would be fun?"
"what?"
"to shoot obama with a bb gun."
"... no. no, i don't think so."
"what? why not?"
"... 12 dollars, here you go." i hand her some moneys.
she gives me change, saying "shoot, that's where i'd be if i weren't here."

fortunately you'll always be here.

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

Report her to the Secret Service.

[kahljorn]

GROCER WANTS TO PUT OBAMAS EYE OUT

[k0k0]

I got kicked out of a pool place for making a scene. I beat some guy in a game. (I'm terrible at pool so he must have been horrible) And then I shouted "I'm the wiz! Nobody beats me!" and strutted like the wiz. They came up and told me I'd have to leave. I guess he was a regular or something and they thought I was shaming him. I have no idea.

pRf_A07Elyw

[kahljorn]

:lol

im gonnado that sometime i poolshark somebody and see if i get kicked out

[ThrashO]

that's amazing :lol

[Zhukov]

That's awesome. I want to do that.

[k0k0]

I do stupid shit all the time when I win at my regular pool hall. But the place was closed during the day so I went to some place I didn't know.

This place was worse than my normal one though since the one I go to usually is free pool as long as you order something. This one I had to pay for the table.

[Zhukov]

The last game of pool I played my opposition was as shit as me, and we were taking so long that we had to make house rules where you could use the big end of the stick and everyone got three shots in a row.

[Esuohlim]

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE PARTAKEN IN A ROUND OF SNOOKER :posh

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/confusing-24player-trade-sends-you-scottie-pippen,5954/

[Fathom Zero]

I'm pickling my right hand.

[Kitsa]

This has been a decent evening's entertainment:

WishbookWeb- archived Christmas catalogs (http://www.wishbookweb.com/).

[ItalianStereotype]

you are very easily entertained.

[Esuohlim]

:lol

[Zhukov]

I'm pickling my right hand.

What colour/flavour?

[Aaarg]

left hand black

[Fathom Zero]

Nott-dry.

[Kitsa]

Apparently I am.

[Fathom Zero]

I was laughing at the faces in the 80's catalogs, though.

[Kitsa]

It was all exactly as ugly as I remembered it.

[Aaarg]

know what word i like a lot?

monongahela.

[Fathom Zero]

ypsilanti

[Aaarg]

the monongahela river runs through morgantown, wv, in monongalia county. monongalia is stupid. monongahela is great.

i used to live in morgantown. i just moved to morganton, nc. fuck. what the FUCK.

also i live off a road named hartland.

i think these assholes just like dropping letters.

[Esuohlim]

ypsilanti

KALAMAZOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

POUGHKEEPSIE

[k0k0]

Kickapoo

[Shyandquietguy]

Kitsa, I approve of the money laundering Santa Claus.
http://www.wishbookweb.com/1933_Spiegel_Christmas_Catalog/images/Spiegel%20Catalog_01.jpg

[ThrashO]

dat nigga has 2 many raindeer

[LordSappington]

My pumpkin pie cheesecake turned out very well!
http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff44/roflcopter12211/CAEK-1.jpg

[executioneer]

KALAMAZOOOOOOOOOOOO

POUGHKEEPSIE

Kickapoo

SHEBOYGAN >:

[kahljorn]

can anybody with access to some kind of leet torrent sitetell me if they have LARSON COLLEGE ALGEBRA EIGHTH EDITION on there? I saw one on the bay but nobody is seeding it :(

[ThrashO]

I found it on demonoid.

LOL

[ThrashO]

The contents of this torrent were not created by me. They were uploaded by WAREZBB from megarapid.net.

I uploaded it as a torrent to make it much easier to find, considering how hard it was for me to find it. Well I ended up finding it at the site in the readme, but for those not quite that technically savvy, this should make it much easier. Also there's no telling how long until they remove it.

Textbook distributors have a stranglehold on students, who are practically REQUIRED to buy "this exact book" by "this exact author", in "this exact edition." These companies know this, and re-release the same book with a "new edition" number to make people buy it again. I seriously doubt much about math has changed in the last year.

Anyway, enjoy doing your homework without having to sell a kidney.


The contents are as follows:

College Algebra 8th edition
Precalculus 8th edition
Calculus: early transcendental functions 4th edition
Algebra and Trigonometry 8th edition

[ThrashO]

its only like 100 mb but u gotta wait until my complete collection of family guy finishes downloading. blu ray 1080p too. 45gb. it done in december.

[Esuohlim]

Family Guy >:

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

can anybody with access to some kind of leet torrent sitetell me if they have GARY LARSON COLLEGE ALGEBRA EIGHTH EDITION on there? I saw one on the bay but nobody is seeding it :(

I have a copy of this one if it helps.

[Aaarg]

i used to go to the library and rent out the far side collections all the time rip gary larson

[kahljorn]

yea i actually found it on demonoid and somebody started seeding it overnight :O :O thanks thrasho.

you have a physical copy of it, willie?

the internet just saved me 200 dollars ;O

[executioneer]

10000volt ghost is not willie

although i guess he could go by willie if he want to

my mathbook is a custom edition so i couldn't even pirate it if i wanted to >: >: >: >: >: >:

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

i used to go to the library and rent out the far side collections all the time rip gary larson

He's not dead yet.

[Fathom Zero]

maybe that's what he calls it when he cuts a gasser

he ripped a mad larson

[k0k0]

If I did decide to go to school, do I have to have a physical book in my classes? Do they check or make you look at the book during class? Cuz I could see the internet saving me a ton if I do decide school is my thing again.

[Fathom Zero]

That's completely dependent on the department and the professor or whomever is there. I got suckered and bought the books for all my classes my first semester. The second semester I bought 2/7. I've never bought another book since. Fuck books.

[kahljorn]

i dunno why i thought billiam was willie :(

[Chojin]

i got 2 of my books on audible. i have a 3+ hour commute every day, so I end up being way ahead in all of them.

[kahljorn]

last semesteri had a US History class that you absolutely had to have the book or youd be fucked during the weekly reading quizes because the professor didnt lecture out of the book.

[Fathom Zero]

It's worse when you're unlucky enough to have the head of your department as one of the authors of a book, because then it's practically fucking mandatory.

[Kitsa]

Oh, yes, that fucking sucks.

Back when I had to get a REAL PDR every year, before it was online, we would have professors once in a while who actually expected us to lug the stupid thing around.

The art book that Kahl was asking about a few years ago, that prof was on faculty at the Art Institute and wanted to give all her lectures there, so we had to carry the damned thing all the way downtown in Chicago on the train. And then half the time she wouldn't even refer to it.

I hated the ones where the professors would have a stupid packet of xeroxed essays or something in a report binder and the bookstore would charge you the same as a textbook for it. That was ridiculous.

Trying to sell books back was a joke, too. The returns policy at the beginning of each semester was that you had to return the book in the first week for a full refund and before the end of the second week for a partial, and after that you were shit out of luck. I had several classes where the professor (either innocently or deliberately, I was never sure) couldn't make up his mind for three weeks whether you needed the book or not. By that time, it was too late to return it, but someone was waiting for you at the buyback table. $2 for a book you paid $175 for a week before. Fuck that.

This was 1998, by the way, so the ebay/craigslist/torrent route wasn't as viable then.

Fuck I'm old :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

10000volt ghost is not willie

although i guess he could go by willie if he want to

my mathbook is a custom edition so i couldn't even pirate it if i wanted to >: >: >: >: >: >:

Maybe we could combine like those two asshole horses from breath of fire 3 and turn into ultraman william.

[Chojin]

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/eric_andross.jpg

I AM ANDROSS

[k0k0]

Nice tapestry. And are you making a game based off of the movie Triple X?

[k0k0]

That post makes me look like a dick. I'm just saying those things in jest, not trying to provoke you with dickishness. Sorry.

[Chojin]

too late, i've already started crying

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Is that the guy from dirt trax fx?

[ThrashO]

maya did an excellent job of mapping the pointy lumps and grooves of your head.

[executioneer]

http://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/bertthestrongbaby.jpghttp://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/chooseponies.jpghttp://www.angriestmonster.com/blarg/fuckthisfuckyou.jpg

LOL ABORTIONS (http://saynathespiffy.tumblr.com/post/9176096618/sanityscraps-bluedogeyes-some-choices)

[Zhukov]

Your BERT THE STRONG BABY one is the best. :lol

[k0k0]

My mom got talked in to taking this BarleyLife stuff along with a bunch of other "AIM products" and I am searching online for information about it that is real and not their sponsored crap with testimonials. I can't find shit. My mom's friend shills the stuff and it was like 120 bucks for all the stuff she bought. I'm hoping the stuff isn't bad because these people have so many trash websites that just sell the stuff when I google them that I can't find any 'real' reviews.

[Rongi]

so obama is pulling peeps out of Iraq, which is cool i guess

i texted this to a few people. one of them was opera singer girl and she was like "and what does this have to do with me...? lol"

man i don't think i care for this opera singer girl anymore

[k0k0]

Just in time for re-election. He's probably been saving this one up for a while since he pulled the bin laden thing off too soon. It's nice that they're coming home, for sure. But couldn't they have done that a while back? What has changed within the last few years to warrant this pulling out?

[b_squared]

I'm so pissed at the public school system right now. I thought it sucked when I went to school, I think its even worse now. Not one of his teachers let me know he was failing classes, the counciler did not notify me , nothin.
Back in my day if I was failing or dropping grades I would have had my parents called and I would have been required to stay in during lunch or after school to make up my grade.
They tell me they can not take the time to do this because they have too many students so its impossable to notify parents of failing kids.
Bullshit.
He has ADD, the school is aware of it and they are required to help him because of it, so he is on a program.
Now they say in order to help him he has to go to "special ed classes" and see the school psychologist.
The same quack who said my kid was anti social and depressed and had trouble finding friends in his peer group....(all false)
For fucks sake, all I am asking is for an email or phone call when his grades are falling, and for the teacher to keep him focused by reminding him to turn in work. I dont think it required a "special ed" teacher for that.
Sorry for the rant, carry on.

[Aaarg]

jesus, what the fuck kind of school system does your county run? my girlfriend's been calling parents for the past week because of failing kids. and several of her students have "special needs" that she has to accommodate for. to be fair i think a lot of it depends on the instructor, but it's a shame apparently none of his are ok.

did they not even send home progress reports/interim report cards?

[b_squared]

Supposedly a progress report was sent home with my son. I never got it. I would not put it past a kid to hide a report card, but he has never done that before. No matter how bad his grades have been I always get them. The school is sending the report cards home with the kids instead of mailing them to save some money. Still I should be notified he is in danger of failing before the progerss report home. Especially if he is on a program to prevent this.

[Aaarg]

yeah, totally, that's bogus.

[b_squared]

I was also told that the one A he got on his report cart was in error. Supposedly that teacher gave ever kid in the class an A, because he is suffering from Parkinsons.
WTH
I thought Parkinsons made you shaky, not mentally challenged.
So I asked what grade is he getting since it is not an A. They replied they havent figured it out yet.
This is the kind of school I an dealing with.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

so obama is pulling peeps out of Iraq, which is cool i guess

i texted this to a few people. one of them was opera singer girl and she was like "and what does this have to do with me...? lol"

man i don't think i care for this opera singer girl anymore

Time to give her the curtain call.

[b_squared]

Time to give her the curtain call.

With no encore.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I was also told that the one A he got on his report cart was in error. Supposedly that teacher gave ever kid in the class an A, because he is suffering from Parkinsons.
WTH
I thought Parkinsons made you shaky, not mentally challenged.
So I asked what grade is he getting since it is not an A. They replied they havent figured it out yet.
This is the kind of school I an dealing with.

Wow that's ridiculous, is there a PTA?

[b_squared]

Probably, I would have to ask and see. In elementry school there was. It was filled with stay at home moms and they were in charge of was school fundraising activities.
Not sure about high school.

[b_squared]

I put a call into the principal, so maybe this will work. If not then I guess I go to the district school board, then to the state.
In the mean time all of his teachers are going to be gettting emails 2x a week asking about my son and his progress. No reply with 2 days and I will report them.
As for my son, once his grades go up I will give him back his computer to play Minecraft, his x box for Halo and maybe he may get the Obilvion expansion for his birthday in November. So hopefully that will motivate him.

[Fathom Zero]

High school's worthless in absolutely every respect. No one worthwhile even pays attention to it unless you've made straight-A's for all four years, are part the Honors Society, and in fifty clubs. Don't worry about it.

Unless he doesn't want to go to college or do anything else. That's a bit bigger an issue.

[executioneer]

Obilvion expansion

Are you talking about Skyrim? That's not an expansion to Oblivion, it's the next game in the Elder Scrolls series (Oblivion was The Elder Scrolls IV, Skyrim is The Elder Scrolls V) :minordetails

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I put a call into the principal, so maybe this will work. If not then I guess I go to the district school board, then to the state.
In the mean time all of his teachers are going to be gettting emails 2x a week asking about my son and his progress. No reply with 2 days and I will report them.
As for my son, once his grades go up I will give him back his computer to play Minecraft, his x box for Halo and maybe he may get the Obilvion expansion for his birthday in November. So hopefully that will motivate him.

What day is his birthday?

[Colonel Flagg]

The [public school administration] tell[s] me they can not take the time to [notify me that my son is failing] because they have too many students so its impossable to notify parents of failing kids.
Bullshit.

Indeed. >:

He has ADD, the school is aware of it and they are required to help him because of it, so he is on a program.
Now they say in order to help him he has to go to "special ed classes" and see the school psychologist.

Is he on meds, or are you trying a holistic approach toward treating the disorder (there's nothing wrong with either, IMO). Just askin'.

Supposedly a progress report was sent home with my son. I never got it. I would not put it past a kid to hide a report card, but he has never done that before. No matter how bad his grades have been I always get them. The school is sending the report cards home with the kids instead of mailing them to save some money. Still I should be notified he is in danger of failing before the progerss report home. Especially if he is on a program to prevent this.

Our school system always sends the RC's home with the kids, so I'm trained to look out for them. This being said, I'd also have the teacher's, counsellor's, and other administrative flunky's direct dial telephone numbers so I could bitch directly to these idiots. You might even want to research what other districts have gone through in Cali (?) to see what your legal options are regarding this most egregious lapse in oversight courtesy of your school system.

I was also told that the one A he got on his report cart was in error. Supposedly that teacher gave ever kid in the class an A, because he is suffering from Parkinsons.
WTH
I thought Parkinsons made you shaky, not mentally challenged.
So I asked what grade is he getting since it is not an A. They replied they havent figured it out yet.

Wait - they know he could not have gotten an "A" yet they also state they don't know what grade he earned?

How does this work, exactly? :confused

By the way, you are correct - Parkinson's makes you shake and lose the ability to communicate or even walk (in severe cases) but generally your mental faculties are as sharp as ever.

In elementry school there was [a PTA]. It was filled with stay at home moms and [all] they were in charge of was school fundraising activities. Not sure about high school.

If not, then start one. I can't believe you're alone in this.

Good luck.

[b_squared]

High school's worthless in absolutely every respect. No one worthwhile even pays attention to it unless you've made straight-A's for all four years, are part the Honors Society, and in fifty clubs. Don't worry about it.

Unless he doesn't want to go to college or do anything else. That's a bit bigger an issue.

My daughters both got straight As, in the honor society and many clubs in high school. They are in college now with straight As and on the Deans list.

That's why when the school shrink indicated the problem starts at home with little or no parental support I call bullshit.

What my son will do when he graduates, I don't know. Probably college, but which one will depend on how well he does in high school.

[Colonel Flagg]

I put a call into the principal, so maybe this will work. If not then I guess I go to the district school board, then to the state.
In the mean time all of his teachers are going to be gettting emails 2x a week asking about my son and his progress. No reply with 2 days and I will report them.
As for my son, once his grades go up I will give him back his computer to play Minecraft, his x box for Halo and maybe he may get the Obilvion expansion for his birthday in November. So hopefully that will motivate him.

Good plan. :)

I've used a similar strategy on my high schooler with somewhat mixed results (more positive than negative). What grade is he in, exactly, if you don't mind telling? Does he have favorite subjects, or is he school-neutral (a.k.a. hates everything)?

[b_squared]

@ Willie
Yep Skyrim...I thought it was and expansion, good to know its a full game.
@Ghost
Nov 25th
@ Flagg
Thank you for the info.
Thanks everyone, I'm feeing better.

[b_squared]

He is in 10th grade, will be 15 years old in November. He likes school ( hard to believe) but its true. Its the teachers he usually falls out with. He hates the teachers who play videos in class but don't instruct, teachers who dont have the time to explain things...ect.
He likes science, he is good with math ( although he says he does not get it, often times he explains his homework to me) hates english and writing.
Oh and the meds question. I resisted for a long time putting him on medication till last year in JR high. He is now on Concerta 15mg. He says it helps, and other than keeping him awake too late no ther side effects. We upped the doseage once because we we not sure the 15mg was working, but we had problems with headaches, sleeping and appetite, and no benefits with his grades or school.

[Fathom Zero]

My daughters both got straight As, in the honor society and many clubs in high school. They are in college now with straight As and on the Deans list.

That's why when the school shrink indicated the problem starts at home with little or no parental support I call bullshit.

What my son will do when he graduates, I don't know. Probably college, but which one will depend on how well he does in high school.

What I mean is that you're either in the top 10% or it doesn't matter anymore. This is my personal experience today talking as I was an extremely average high school student and now I'm making all the right plays at university and mingling with the right people. As a result, I can pretty much do whatever I want. When I'm done with this shtick, I can make some things happen.

It's all in posturing. Far less work than trying to butt one's head against an uncaring system, but that's a deeper philosophical/scholastic issue. (The point of a bachelor's/master's, how much they are really worth, et cetera.)

If I could do things over again, I wouldn't bother with university and head, instead, to a community college or vocational school. Knowing people and learning are both things that can be done for free.

[b_squared]

Thanks FZ
This is kinda where my mindset is at now. Of the options after high school ( I want him to have a diploma not a GED) He can either go to community college, trade school or work. His father can get him into the training program to be and electral distribution worker (lineman like his dad). It pays well. Or he can apprentice with one of his friend's dad who works for the studio building props for the movies. Shitty hours but it should pay decient. He would not need a college degree to make his way in the world, but I want to get him through high school. Hell he could even do what I do and be animal control, but the pay is shit.

[Fathom Zero]

Life's pretty good on $40/hour in a medium-size town.

My friend's got a GED, had no intention of going to college, but he's starting his apprenticeship soon. Working with metal, I hear.

I kinda want to go to UTI to work on motorcycles, but that's a while down the road if at all. I'd be all over that, though.

[b_squared]

Motorcycles. I would have never guessed.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Life's pretty good on $40/hour in a medium-size town.

My friend's got a GED, had no intention of going to college, but he's starting his apprenticeship soon. Working with metal, I hear.

I kinda want to go to UTI to work on motorcycles, but that's a while down the road if at all. I'd be all over that, though.

I can't take them seriously because of the name of it.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

@Ghost
Nov 25th


Aww, middle of the month is where its at.

[b_squared]

For what its worth ghost, he was born a week and a half late from my due date.

[Colonel Flagg]

He is in 10th grade, will be 15 years old in November. He likes school ( hard to believe) but its true. Its the teachers he usually falls out with. He hates the teachers who play videos in class but don't instruct, teachers who dont have the time to explain things...ect.

I hate those teachers too. ;)

He likes science, he is good with math ( although he says he does not get it, often times he explains his homework to me) hates english and writing.

Sorry for the emphasis. :D

I hated English and writing as well, but managed to convince myself that it was more important to do the work and do it well, than to slack off and just get by. That was just before my senior year, so he still has time to figure this out for himself.

I resisted [meds] for a long time, [but finally put] him on medication till last year in JR high. He is now on Concerta 15mg. He says it helps, and other than keeping him awake too late no other side effects. We upped the doseage once because we we[re] not sure the 15mg was working, but we had problems with headaches, sleeping and appetite, and no benefits with his grades or school.

You are following the med-mantra - "LESS IS MORE". Good. :) The key point in all this is that if he says it is helping him focus, then it's a good choice.

And give those bastards Hell. :)

[Colonel Flagg]

@B² - He's precisely 6 years older than my daughter. :party

[k0k0]

My mom, sister, and my birthdays are all within 5 days of eachother. Nov 20th is my sister, 22nd is mine, and 25th is my mom's. So I just tell them not to get me anything because I don't want to spend much on them.

[Rongi]

But couldn't they have done that a while back? What has changed within the last few years to warrant this pulling out?

They should have came home a while ago, but I was kind of being sarcastic when I said it was cool of Obama to do that. I'm not a big fan of Barry

UPDATE ON PUNK ROCK CHICK I HAVE A CRUSH ON FROM MY BIO CLASS

We're having lunch in a week or two :)

[b_squared]

Punk rock chick sounds like she would be more fun than opera chick.

[b_squared]

The late November birthday, kinda glad I did not have to deliver on turkey day.
My daughters(twins) turned 19 on Weds.

I'm feeling old.

[Chojin]

I very nearly failed high school, then went into business for myself at 21. Then after actually failing out of that, I went back to school at a community college but was motivated to actually try this time and got a 3.98 or something, which allowed me to go to pretty much any university I wanted. Today I just got my diploma for my BS in business, Summa Cum Laude :>

I guess what I'm saying is that Fatmom is right that high school is shit, but you'll have to pay for fucking off later by going to community college, which is basically the 13th and 14th grades. I think almost everyone should work for a couple years between high school and college, though.

[k0k0]

I got all A's in highschool until I decided about junior year that they were just giving grades away and that the shit was way too easy. So I just kind of stopped going and only came in to pass the tests. The school didn't like this even though I was getting 90's to 100's on these 'tests' that were supposed to show that I learned everything. When I passed the final exams at a higher grade than everyone but 3 people despite staying at home and smoking pot, they couldn't fight the fact that they were dumb dicks and let me have it as long as I was passing tests. I graduated despite only going to class maybe once every two weeks during my last year. I made a whole lot of cash working and smoked a whole lot of pot.

[Fathom Zero]

I regret not taking a year or even just a semester off. But I would've been doing what I was already doing at work, anyway, so I didn't see the point. I also regret giving a shit about this one girl at the time, so I guess I fucked up a lot. Still think university's a sucker's bet for most people, though.

But hey, you can camp out in Zuccotti Park after you graduate!

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/2363/169443anoccupywallstree.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

Motorcycles. I would have never guessed.

dNu6CiJuqIk

Pornography. Just listen to it.

[Chojin]

i can't wait till those idiots resort to cannibalism

jk they're all wealthy faggots who are tweeting about how they're changing the corporate world on their iPads

[k0k0]

I never got the whole motorcycle and car lovers. To me, when I hear a motorcycle I just think "that shit better not come through my neighborhood at 4 in the morning". And cars are just a way to get around. I don't care what kind it is as long as it doesn't break down for me.

[Fathom Zero]

I appreciate machinery and engineering very much. I have a hard-on for good design. Every part doing exactly what it was made to do, always in synchronization, to create the smooth kinetic poetry.

I should write greeting cards.

[b_squared]

I just said fuck it and gave him his computer back. Hopefully he will wow them with his awesome gaming skills.

I saw this while looking for a halloween prop. I so want to make this. Too bad we don't get trick or treaters.
http://www.spookyblue.com/halloween/scarecrow/scarecrow.htm

[Chojin]

today's dictionary.com word of the day is "loll"

the last two definitions for it made me lol

in brief, i became a loll

[Chojin]

I never got the whole motorcycle and car lovers. To me, when I hear a motorcycle I just think "that shit better not come through my neighborhood at 4 in the morning". And cars are just a way to get around. I don't care what kind it is as long as it doesn't break down for me.

yeah this, idk wtf

[Guitar Woman]

B-but the Galaxies, man!

http://www.classicreflectionscarclub.com/Palm%20Bay%20Cruise%2002-11-2006%20resize/Steve%27s%201963%20Ford%20Galaxie%20500%20Sunliner .JPG

The Lotuses!

http://www.propsonwheels.com/images/cars/Lotus-1966-(1).jpg

The Gran Torinos!

http://fordfastback.50megs.com/72grantorino.JPG

The fucking Falcons!

http://www.secondchancegarage.com/public/photogallery/1965falconfuturaconv/1965-ford-falcon-futura-conv-dsf.jpg

How can you not want to make love to these machines? <3

Granted, cars got kinda ugly during the 70s.

[Kitsa]

High school's worthless in absolutely every respect.

This

[Guitar Woman]

Except for how you actually need a degree to even urinate in the real world

Get a GED and you're more or less fuct

[Guitar Woman]

God, water chestnuts are fucking revolting.

[Fathom Zero]

They're delicious in ways that can't be measured.

[ThrashO]

at work today a customer was running behind me at my table, bumped me and I spilled a margarita and two beers directly into a womans face. she had to leave because salt and lime juice was in her eyes. now she can't see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch.

[Shyandquietguy]

That's not a pickle.

@Koko As for the love of cars and motorcycles, IDK either. I went to school to fix them but if anything it'd be just something to do for me. I can see if you really like the thought of performance and efficiency, which just makes you an insignificantly slight step up from MAD GAMING PC PLAYA because you don't really need to get all the lovely graphic details for a game to enjoy.

[Chojin]

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/eric_andross2.jpg

ASSUMING MANUAL CONTROL

[Fathom Zero]

why'd you make your eyes do that

[Guitar Woman]

So I went to a bar tonight. I don't think I'm going to go to any more bars.

The women got drunk and acted like retards, the men got drunk and leered at the women like rapists.

Also, there was karaoke and it was pretty fucking awful. It was so loud it took like half an hour to pay my tab and I got out of there two hours after I thought I would.

This is another chapter in my diary of endless hatred for the rest of humanity. I swear to god, I'm going to murder every last one of you fuckers before I die.

[ItalianStereotype]

or maybe don't go to shitty bars

[Guitar Woman]

OR MAYBE GUN DOWN THE FILTH

On the bright side I had dinner and got pretty wasted for about 26 dollars. I dunno if that's good or not, but it seemed pretty low to me.

Granted, if I had just bought a fo'ty and stayed home playing TF2 I would have gotten wasted and actually had a good time for 3 bucks.

[Grislygus]

You could always go two a nice, quiet, and spectacularly shitty bar where the same old guy comes in from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm to drink one beer and never stop talking to the bartender, who for his part will insist, if queried, that the bar is "poppin" all the time, just not tonight


you're right about water chestnuts though, they're fucking terrible

[kahljorn]

i love waterchestnuts in kung pao chicken and other asian dishes.

gw you're asexual and antisocial so why would you goto a bar anyway

the only purpose in going to a bar is to get laid and maybe poolshark people

personally i like to combine the sports and poolshark bitches

[executioneer]

yeah that sounds like the shithole i used to go to before i found a better bar

still has karaoke but sometimes it's more than 50% listenable singers, plus the actual bar's in a separate room from it if you don't want to have to shout over it

also i've never seen a fight break out in there, unlike the old place lol

[Grislygus]

and yes, drinking at home is preferable if your modus operandi at bars is ignoring everyone and drinking like a haunted sea captain pining for his lost love

[executioneer]

yeah why pay someone five times what the liquor cost just so you don't have to pour it yourself

unless you've got parkinsons or something and would just fling it all about the room, idk

[ItalianStereotype]

Between San Antonio and Austin, I have a really wide array of bars to choose from. I choose to not go to the shitty bars. Works pretty well.

[Rongi]

IT'S NOT MADE BY GREAT MEN
IT'S NOT MADE BY GREAT MEN
IT'S NOT MADE BY GREAT MEN
IT'S NOT MADE BY GREAT MEN

[kahljorn]

unless you've got parkinsons or something and would just fling it all about the room, idk

THROW LIQUOR ABOUT THE ROOM AND GIVE PEOPLE A'S

[Kitsa]

At first it's like "Haha, they said Gay Gifts", but then, seriously, look how many times they use the word gay. That's shitty writing and I know shitty writing.

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/gaychristmas.jpg

Edit: Frosty the snowman is a gay fellow.

Eski and Mo are gay painted girl and boy faces.

Teary and Cheery are gay clown faces.

[Kitsa]

Also, I found this nifty his-and-her underwear.

http://i799.photobucket.com/albums/yy271/kitsa_for_imockery2/understatements.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

eighty dogs, all screaming

[ThrashO]

Hey so I have this skill when it comes to making shit, whether its on a car, or fixing something with little resources or construction in general, and I just discovered something that I enjoy doing that I could make money off of probably.

Making anything into a stashbox.

I've turned a little iPod speaker into an awesome stashbox, an original gameboy, and old corded house phone, all into awesome stashboxes.

The insides are felt too, it's pretty highclass and I used things to give it original weight (thats even too) and I can even make them scent proof incase people are hiding weed in it.

Anyways, what is the best way to make money off of this? Craigslist? Where would I post it? Any other ideas? Anyone want a rad stashbox made out of the item of their choosing? Cheap price for i-mockery members, you would just have to supply the item.

[Fathom Zero]

or eBay.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Don't go overboard with it. Then the crooks will know all the new hiding places.

[Kitsa]

I think I bought mine on etsy. Generally I hate etsy but one holiday I gave everyone fake shit, like hollow soda cans with screw-off lids and stuff.

[k0k0]

When I was in highschool, I used to stuff joints in the bindings of my math book since the binding was coming off. I got searched about 3 times in school and they never found them. Even got searched by a cop once with them in there.

[Esuohlim]

High school's worthless in absolutely every respect.

I'm at the point now where I feel like college was worthless :(

I've got shit for connections though, and maybe the economy really is a lot of the problem. Maybe I'm just bitter right now.

:slitwrists

:dylansnipples

[Colonel Flagg]

The late November birthday, kinda glad I did not have to deliver on turkey day.
My daughters(twins) turned 19 on Weds.

I'm feeling old.

You can't feel old until you're older than me. DAT'S DA RULEZ.

[executioneer]

Hey so I have this skill when it comes to making shit, whether its on a car, or fixing something with little resources or construction in general, and I just discovered something that I enjoy doing that I could make money off of probably.

Making anything into a stashbox.

I've turned a little iPod speaker into an awesome stashbox, an original gameboy, and old corded house phone, all into awesome stashboxes.

The insides are felt too, it's pretty highclass and I used things to give it original weight (thats even too) and I can even make them scent proof incase people are hiding weed in it.

Anyways, what is the best way to make money off of this? Craigslist? Where would I post it? Any other ideas? Anyone want a rad stashbox made out of the item of their choosing? Cheap price for i-mockery members, you would just have to supply the item.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/291087/saturday-night-live-out-of-africa

[Fathom Zero]

:dylansnipples

:tomsdick

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:o

[Fathom Zero]

I said it

[Esuohlim]

:eek

[Fathom Zero]

incredulous like a mthrfckr

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

ridicilis

[kahljorn]

I HAVENT TAKEN MATH IN FOREVER AND IM GETTING ALMOST EVERYTHING RIGHT BUT IM STUCK ON ONE THING

IS ANYBODY GOOD ENOUGH AT MATH TO HELP ME

[Chojin]

ABSOLUTELY NOT

I'LL BAN ANY HAMBURGER HELPERS

http://www.markstivers.com/wordpress/comics/2010-07-24-hamburger-helper.gif

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[kahljorn]

IM IN APICKLE HERE

[Esuohlim]

kahljorn I will secretly help you!

[kahljorn]

BUT WHAT IF YOU GET SECRET BANNED

[Colonel Flagg]

I HAVENT TAKEN MATH IN FOREVER AND IM GETTING ALMOST EVERYTHING RIGHT BUT IM STUCK ON ONE THING

IS ANYBODY GOOD ENOUGH AT MATH TO HELP ME

If I can help you, I will, and damn the banning. I must owe you a favor somewhere.

[kahljorn]

ok ill just post what i sent to esuolohim here

so i need to be able to tell if a graph is gonna be symmetrical along the x y or origin some shit

so here's the equation thing y=x/x(squared)+1

so thats y equals x divided by x squared and +1. x squared and plus 1 are both under the division sign.

i dont understand how changing y and the x's into negatives ends up equaling the same thing as if it were positive

the only way i can think to solve it is to do a graph which i dont want to do.
oooh. would i just fine a number that works like put 0 in for x, calculate it get an answer. Then make it negative and do the same thing and i should get the same number?

the other ones i can tell just by looking though so i dunno if im supposed to do all of that ;/

[kahljorn]

WHAT The hell GUSY

[Esuohlim]

MAKING A GRAPH IS THE EASIEST WAY TO DO IT, ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU HAVE TO "SHOW" SOMETHING

So yeah, find a bunch of plot points by solving the equation a bunch of times with different y-values (OR X, WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT)

And I would probably do it that way with all the problems, whether they're obvious at a glance or not, just to show that you know the process.

[ThrashO]

nigga. is dis dat y intercept bullshit i did in 9f grade.

[kahljorn]

FUCK THE PROCESS

but alright :( i dont have to show shit all i have to do is say what kind of symmetry it is and i figured there was an easy way to do it :(

[Sam]

WHO THE FUCK IS TOM?

[Sam]

NONE OF YOU FAGS ARE NAMED TOM.

[Sam]

NEVERMIND, MULEHORSE IS NAMED THOMAS.

[Sam]

SOMETIMES I FORGET YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY REAL PEOPLE. :rolleyes

[ThrashO]

my names Tommy :)

[Shyandquietguy]

That's not a pickle.

[Fathom Zero]

That's not a Tom.

[Pentegarn]

WHO THE FUCK IS TOM?


http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q1/Pentegarn/index-4.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

WHO THE FUCK IS TOM?

CsrfovOPcjk

[Esuohlim]

I HATE BEING A REAL PERSON

[Shyandquietguy]

http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/440/tumblrlqc5of1h281qzw51p.jpg
"WELCOME TO THE INTERNET!! :rolleyes"

[kahljorn]

IS THERE A WAY TO TELL JUST BY INPUTTING NUMBERS WITHOUT HAVING TO DO ALL THAT JAZZ

[Esuohlim]

Yeah

Spoilered for BORING SHIT

For the example you put y = x/(x^2 + 1), when x = 0, y= 0.

Setting x = 1, y = 1/2 and when x = -1, y = -1/2

Setting x = 2, y = 2/5 and when x = -2, y = -2/5

So since making x negative will in turn make y negative your example is symmetric about the origin

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Fuck that dog

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

The canine

[kahljorn]

AND I CAN ASSUME IF I DO THAT THAT ITS PROBABLY SYMMETRIC ABOUT THE ORIGIN?

WHEN I INPUT THAT EQUATION INTO A CALCULATOR THE BOTTOM PART SHOULD BE IN PARENTHISSSISISSIS RIGHT? I JUST GOT A SCIENTIFIC CALCULATOR

[ThrashO]

DID IT SCIENCED YET

[Shyandquietguy]

That's not a pickle.

[Esuohlim]

AND I CAN ASSUME IF I DO THAT THAT ITS PROBABLY SYMMETRIC ABOUT THE ORIGIN?

WHEN I INPUT THAT EQUATION INTO A CALCULATOR THE BOTTOM PART SHOULD BE IN PARENTHISSSISISSIS RIGHT? I JUST GOT A SCIENTIFIC CALCULATOR

YES :eek

YES :eek

KAHLJORN YOU'RE BRINGING DOWN THE MOMENTUM OF THE SPOOKY BUTT THREAD WITH YOUR POINDEXTER MATH ISSUES

[Esuohlim]

Quick, starting talking about your most recent injury so we can get the ball rolling again

[Fathom Zero]

favorite food is good, too

w8zavPW3Bus

but for my money, I'd rather talk about the Wire.

[Rongi]

The Wire > Every TV show ever