I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[executioneer]

fyi that trick doesn't work so well when you're just sharing an icee

[ThrashO]

"hey instead of dinner want to share an icee"

yeah i wonder why you havent achieved penaltration yet

[executioneer]

that was a joke, thrasho

a joke

[Fathom Zero]

yeah, numbnuts

[executioneer]

haha :lol

[Guitar Woman]

Hey guys, Chojin's dad works for Touchmark!

http://i40.tinypic.com/2ur3scy.jpg

[ThrashO]

Hey guys, Chojin's dad works for Touchmark!

http://i40.tinypic.com/2ur3scy.jpg

dont forget to use the hole in the popcorn bag trick on him

[Rongi]

guys i reread wudoin and snagglepuss recently

they're not as funny as i remember them :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I didn't know chojins dad was from dudleyville.

[Esuohlim]

Jesus, Rongi, I thought I was jaded

[executioneer]

welp, more time for skyrim for me i guess

[Fathom Zero]

http://i.imgur.com/0bHaC.gif

[executioneer]

I hate pretty much

everyone in the world

fuck all of you guys

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

willie needs to get the poison out so he won't be so awngry

[Guitar Woman]

Hey dipshits, specify bands that sound like this. (May or may not contain ear rape)



BiLjTIeosBk3AirZDtIMTMfhGu2CDqQqokDA80hZsS383mZ0sS StW6YzVa4iPSMa9cb0T5y8UjJQoHkdvWwY2yhs




I know some of you jokers are just gonna go "lol every garage band ever lololol" but that doesn't help me find any actual fucking music, you have to actually say the bands that they are.

I'm also fully aware that you think the music I like sucks, lick hemorrhoids and fucking deal with it.

[Esuohlim]

Velvet Underground? idk

[Guitar Woman]

I go through phases of liking Velvet Underground and not, but I've basically pinned down their objectively good songs to something like: Sunday Morning, Venus in Furs, Heroin, There She Goes Again, White Light/White Heat, Here She Comes Now, and Sister Ray for the first 3 to 6 minutes.

Lou Reed's first solo album is also all right, I fucking love Vicious and Sattelite of Love.

[Esuohlim]

How about the New York Dolls?

Other than that I'm out of recommendations :(

Edit: Sex Pistols?

[ThrashO]

Hey dipshits, specify bands that sound like this. (May or may not contain ear rape)



BiLjTIeosBk3AirZDtIMTMfhGu2CDqQqokDA80hZsS383mZ0sS StW6YzVa4iPSMa9cb0T5y8UjJQoHkdvWwY2yhs




I know some of you jokers are just gonna go "lol every garage band ever lololol" but that doesn't help me find any actual fucking music, you have to actually say the bands that they are.

I'm also fully aware that you think the music I like sucks, lick hemorrhoids and fucking deal with it.

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y293/BlingShyne2/1315444454832.gif

[Guitar Woman]

yeah ok thanks for quoting that entire column of videos and buttfucking my work laptop's framerate in a thread that was already fucking escargot buddy

Re: Sex Pistols - Yeah I guess. Nevermind the Bollocks and Rocket to Russia are basically the only generic punk albums I really give a shit about; other than that I just need fucking abrasive, aggressive garage punk. The original Misfits are closer to what I'm going for, although they're a few decibles down. (which isn't to say that they aren't good, because they're the third punk band I don't think is complete shit)

Standard punk, the kind that doesn't blow your eardrums out like what you guys were posting on the last page, is pretty much fucking boring and sterile to me. I know I'm gonna get tons of shit for this because I-Mock's got some kind of easily-offended punk boner, but I could probably give less of a dick if I made an effort.

I'm pretty bummed that there weren't more Sex Bob-Omb songs, and that Beck doesn't seem to do much other music like what he wrote for Scott Pilgrim. Unless he did and I don't know about it, in which case I guess I'll go check out Beck.

[ThrashO]

You might like Annihilation Time, however this isn't the music forum.

But here's some songs by them, they rule, they broke up in 09 though, all of their albums were gold. I saw them twice in Seattle when they toured with Municipal Waste.

rNLEe-iy5Fw

kNFKZWOmB-4

TB6KljRm6F0

7TUouar3aJo

[Guitar Woman]

That first song kinda kicks ass, actually!

Also yeah, I know it's not the music forum, but we've been talking about it in here for like 6 pages anyway.

[Esuohlim]

BLACK FLAG

DEAD KENNEDYS

BAD BRAINS

FUCK IT, I DON'T LIKE PUNK ANYWAY

[ThrashO]

That first song kinda kicks ass, actually!

Also yeah, I know it's not the music forum, but we've been talking about it in here for like 6 pages anyway.

Uh yeah we have but you've been here longer you should know better.

[Guitar Woman]

WELL NUH NUH NUHHHHHHHHH

[Esuohlim]

YEAH GW, HOW DARE YOU

YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER

HOW DARE YOU MAKE POSTS IN THIS THREAD, THE CHAT THREAD, A THREAD WHERE YOU CAN LITERALLY TALK ABOUT ANYTHING YOU WANT WHETHER THERE IS AN APPLICABLE FORUM FOR IT OR NOT

YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER

[ThrashO]

who the hell do u think u r

[ThrashO]

YEAH GW, HOW DARE YOU

YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER

HOW DARE YOU MAKE POSTS IN THIS THREAD, THE CHAT THREAD, A THREAD WHERE YOU CAN LITERALLY TALK ABOUT ANYTHING YOU WANT WHETHER THERE IS AN APPLICABLE FORUM FOR IT OR NOT

YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/reputation/reputation_neg.gif

[Guitar Woman]

Oh so I guess what I'm really looking for is some bullshit called noise rock, which is apparently what FLCL's soundtrack is classified as

ZX5y17Hrn_M2N5TXV8UWWI

That sounds pretty close. Maybe I'll look up those Butthole Surfer guys!

[Fathom Zero]

Japanese rock music is very different from the sort of noise rock most people think of, though they share many similarities.

qujyWV641Bc

Don't confuse noise with 'post-punk', though. (Post-punk is such a stupid fucking label.)

jEBu9cemJJ4

then there's pulsing orchestral minimalism

hStHPRzmSWo

and electronic music of a genre I can't identify, though some call it 'drone'. (Again, stupid as all fuck, but whatever.)

5hQXSsbQCMs

I group all of them together because of the repetition. Listen and you'll hear it.

The Psychic Paramount is good noise.

[kahljorn]

THOSE BUTTHOLE SURFER GUYS

[Guitar Woman]

LAST QUESTION: Is there a way to listen to Big Black without the singer? Because there fucking should be.

[Esuohlim]

I LOVE BIG SONGS ABOUT BLACK FUCKING

[Fathom Zero]

So you don't like Steve Albini?

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/7006/20you.jpg

[Sam]

I SUGGEST "THE HUMPTY DANCE"

[Fathom Zero]

I LIKE MY OATMEAL LUMPY

[Kitsa]

also, fuck fooly cooly.

[Zhukov]

There's some footage out there of me performing The Humpty Dance at karaoke, but I'm too embarrassed to show it.

[Aaarg]

hahaha flcl music, seriously? all i remember about the music in that show are RIDE ON SHOOTING STAR and I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN but sometimes he lets his japanese show and says i sink i can

[Guitar Woman]

All I remember is those two songs I posted, probably because they were the only good ones.

[Aaarg]

you don't remember the one that says RIDE ON SHOOTING STAR???? did you never finish an episode?????? it plays during the end credits

[Esuohlim]

GW spent most of his life so far in a drug-induced stupor, you see

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

yeah ok thanks for quoting that entire column of videos and buttfucking my work laptop's framerate in a thread that was already fucking escargot buddy

Re: Sex Pistols - Yeah I guess. Nevermind the Bollocks and Rocket to Russia are basically the only generic punk albums I really give a shit about; other than that I just need fucking abrasive, aggressive garage punk. The original Misfits are closer to what I'm going for, although they're a few decibles down. (which isn't to say that they aren't good, because they're the third punk band I don't think is complete shit)

Standard punk, the kind that doesn't blow your eardrums out like what you guys were posting on the last page, is pretty much fucking boring and sterile to me. I know I'm gonna get tons of shit for this because I-Mock's got some kind of easily-offended punk boner, but I could probably give less of a dick if I made an effort.

I'm pretty bummed that there weren't more Sex Bob-Omb songs, and that Beck doesn't seem to do much other music like what he wrote for Scott Pilgrim. Unless he did and I don't know about it, in which case I guess I'll go check out Beck.

You might like River City Rebels Hate to be loved album. Its pretty terrible compared to their older stuff so you might like it.

[ThrashO]

GW I say get down on some of that black tar and take in a band that I know you're really gonna love

ukjnrXTTvPY

[kahljorn]

sooo i got a ticket cause i didnt come to a complete stop when i made a right hand turn at a red light, even though the other lane was turning left so there was no way there could be a pedestrian or car there ;/

think im just gonna not pay and give up my license, cause that's a 400 dollar fine. fuck that shit its cheaper to walk everywhere.

[k0k0]

If you don't pay here, they put a warrant out for your arrest. I've had several put out on me for that shit. Mainly when I refused to pay for going 2 miles over the speed limit. Any reason to search my car really. Calling my generic tylenol in to drug control. I was being a smart ass when they replied "It's extra strength tylenol" ... I said "oOoOoh, extra strength." Plus they found an airsoft gun case in my trunk and got all excited. Then disappointed. After all of that, they give me a ticket for 2 miles over.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

You might be able to MAKE A DEAL.

[kahljorn]

thats fine i give up on life.

[Esuohlim]

Driving is for assholes anyway

[Esuohlim]

LEONIDS. ELX WHERE ARE YOU.

[executioneer]

you should at least go and see if you can get it reduced, then you can get like a payment plan probably

[Fathom Zero]

LEONIDS.

I was all up in that shit

[Zomboid]

Driving is for assholes anyway

You know, I still have yet to really need a vehicle, and I'm pretty happy with that. Maybe next spring when I finally have a fucking degree and can maybe make some decent money. But then there's also student loan payments, etc, so basically fuck driving.

[Esuohlim]

I have never needed a car. And now that I live in Chicago, hopefully for good, it's become even less of a need than I ever could imagine. I hate driving and I don't understand the obsession.

[kahljorn]

dont get one its retarded how much they can charge you for shit that shouldnt even be a problem.

like not stopping all the way because there can't possibly be cross traffic or a person there.

[ThrashO]

well if you dont stop then they cant tell you things

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I feel like there is a way to work "DEMS DA BREAKS" into this but I'm not seeing it.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Who else is losing friends thanks to Skyrim? I need an Xbox.

[Esuohlim]

If by losing friends you mean deleting them on Facebook because it's all they talk about, then yes

[Shyandquietguy]

UPS is fucking killing me.

I've ran into a situation where I lost a fucking PS2 and a really awesome watercolor/pastel set because they had to repack a box due to being damaged. I was pretty damn paranoid about folks and even worse living in a military school dorm. EVERYTHING had to be put away or in a locker and I got the packages about two hours before shut down. Not enough time to go get a camera or anything.

I call them up and explain the whole thing and they tell me to give them the empty box. Like shit anything else happened afterwards. So I didn't bother fighting and just put it behind me.

Cue to today when I finally expect a package of parts from Newegg and what do I see when I'm going up my steps? No stubs, but my fucking package right on my god damn door step. No one around. Even though you have to go through the gate which is shared with my neighbors and their dogs (which they rarely let out and are friendly as hell) and up a covered staircase I don't think anyone around me is unaware of me living by myself. And now I can't seem to get their fucking website to actually put the option of "Customer pick up" on my second box.

I want to throw a shit covered brick through their fucking windows. I got lucky with a $400 package but now I have to hope no one gets an idea when he rolls around on Monday.

PS: Tried to do Saturday but I'm too god damn poor for fifteen dollars extra.

[kahljorn]

i thought newegg required you to sign off on packages?

[Fathom Zero]

Newegg does via UPS. :\ Most do.

The only one that didn't was some company I ordered from. OH YEAH. I got a print of something from DeviantArt and Fedex left it in the hall of my dorm.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

sup jerks

[Esuohlim]

My parents fucked on new years eve :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

YEAH THEY DID

[Dimnos]

Its there video?

[Zhukov]

:lol

I just want to throw my hat in the ring and say fuck driving too.

[Esuohlim]

IT'S A HASSLE. A GODDAMNED HASSLE.

[Kitsa]

I agree, fuck driving.

I had a friend who traveled to big cities all her life and never had to learn to drive. She was going through a bad spot and had to move in with her parents in her mid-30s, and she and I took the same stupid AAA driving class. But she got by well into her thirties in an urban area.

[Shyandquietguy]

I am god damn addicting to getting around via car. It fucking sucks because there are so many self-important cunts on the road. Had a fellow who cut me off for the gas station by driving through the parking lane of a street. I could've hit him if I didn't keep an extra careful eye out. The gas attendant was nice enough to write down the license plate when I asked since I was too pissed to go up to the California soccer Dad with out having a huge desire to place a dent in his fucking car. "Hey kids! Guess what happens when you test your luck by driving competitively?" I like to imagine after saying that I get the Hulk's strength and turn over the mother fucker.

Not to mention some bitch ass mother fucker decided since getting into your desired lane on the spot is fine on a protected single turn lane, then it should be extra fine to do so in a double turn lane. And do it as if 5 miles an hour was TOO FAST. I regret not following the asshole until he gets the hint I was pissed. Or getting his license plate.

The bus is tons less expensive to take though. :( Fucking employment.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Aww I love driving you bastards.

[Zhukov]

Public transport is the future.

[Sam]

THE FUTURE IS A RETURN TO HORSEBACK.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Days of future past assholes.

[kahljorn]

if i dont get out of this ticket im just gonna tell em fuck them i aint paying and you can have my license

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Then tell those bastards that dems da breaks.

[k0k0]

Just don't ever get stopped for any reason by the cops after you refuse to pay. They'll put you in jail for a while.

[Shyandquietguy]

What did you get a ticket for Kahl?

[kahljorn]

im just gonna quit driving ;/
honestly im not saving any money by driving. just some time

[kahljorn]

not coming to a complete stop before making a right hand turn at a stop light where i had the right of way and there were no cars or pedestrians that could've been where i was turning ;/

[Shyandquietguy]

Green light and everything? Unless a crosswalk signal was going I don't think they'd have any business stopping you. How many cars were around you? Did you have a multi lane road or such? At least I think they shouldn't have nabbed you. :(

PS: even if a crosswalk signal was going I don't think they should be on your shit. Unless you had a car your adjacent lane attempting to hit and run a pedestrian trying to cut corners on your intersecting crosswalk which would give every police man in the county a reason to go after you.

[k0k0]

I mean, even if you do quit driving, if you get stopped by a cop for any reason and they check your record, they'll put you away. It happened to my friend when they stopped my car to search it, even though he was just the passenger. He had a warrant out for not paying a ticket from 3 years prior. Those dicks put him in jail for 3 days and made him eventually pay it off.

[kahljorn]

i didnt have a green light but the lanes to the right of me was turning left and there was a no u-turn sign ;/ they were protecting me fromoncoming traffic and there couldn't have been any pedestrians
so basically in my mind i had a green arrow

whatever i dont want to drive anyway. if they charge people with the same crime for flying through an intersection endangering everybodies lives and turning right without stopping completely even when its completely safe to do so fuck it.

[Shyandquietguy]

I'd definitely say you got screwed there bud. I'd definitely take that one to the court. They may try to play the whole red light deal but I don't think a single pedestrian is gonna go "whelp this light is gonna go for me next" and start walking. Same with the oncoming left turn. I think you do have a legit reason to fight it. Some cops are just fucking assholes and take the law way too seriously.

PS: Was the officer preachy or anything? Or did he just give you the ticket and go skipping gayly back to his cruiser?

PSS: Even if you don't continue driving, that whole situation sounds like shit to me. I don't think you should be ticketed.

Also, what kind of car you driving?

[kahljorn]

it was from one of those camera things :/
I'm probably gonna try to fight it but i dunno. It was also my first night driving without anyone else in the car so I'm super double pissed and hate driving.

im driving a ford focus :O

[Shyandquietguy]

I think you can request the photo taken by the camera. If there's a left turn car on there you might have a chance. Otherwise it might be difficult since the thing took place at night. I'd still at least try to fight it.

Also out of the two lists of most easily modded cars, one listed the F Focus as number ten, the other didn't list it at all. I don't think it'll affect you that much in the whole thing since it was by camera but some law enforcement drool over the thought that you may be a gear head with money to spare. Drove with a friend with a really nice Mitsubishi and an officer ended up behind him on a red light. He just sighed the moment the officer started looking up license information.

PS: Also, I have never been ticketed by those things yet. I've been pulled over a few times but never been ticketed. I look incredibly young for my age and I'm also really submissive and up front. So if I were asked to drop trou and spread 'em, I'd just say "I hope you're big enough."

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That is the california roll.

[k0k0]

I've been pulled over more than 10 times and had my car searched about 6 of those times. It probably doesn't help that my back seat was always filled with junk. Plus my "I'm gonna kill you fucker" bumper sticker. And maybe the Leftover Crack one. Every time they've searched my vehicle, they found nothing because I was hiding nothing. Those dicks.

[ThrashO]

That is the california roll.

thats how i failed my first driving test >:

[LordSappington]

On an unrelated note, after visiting the Lucky Lizard's museum of oddities last night and seeing a blockhead show, I'm teaching myself to learn some myself! So far, I've gotten a nail through my face, but I still need to get used to my sinuses and desensitizing them.
Figured someone on here probably thinks blockhead shows are neat besides me

[Esuohlim]

You are what they call a deficient human being

[LordSappington]

Just enough to poke some nails through

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm not going to tell you to stop doing it because a dumb and horrible idea. I just don't get the interest in that or suspending.

[kahljorn]

SOMEDAY HE WILL BE IMMUNe TO BEING SHOT IN THE FACE

ONLY ID BE CAREFUL DUDES DONT START NAILING YOUR FACE WITH THEI RDICKS

[kahljorn]

i diDnT SLEEP At ALL LAST NIGHT AND I HAve A TEST TODAY

FUCK IT

[k0k0]

I'm trying to read about people's skyrim experiences and advertisements are trying to get me into roman orgys.

http://i.imgur.com/OqwT1.png

[kahljorn]

:lol

[kahljorn]

MAN IM ON A ROLL

NOT SLEEPING IS AWESOME UNTIL I GET EXHAUSTED AND FALL ASLEEP SOMEWHERe not in MY bed

[kahljorn]

WILLE WILLU FIX THE SPOILER TAG IN THE NUMBERS THREAD. I DUNNO WTF I DID WRONG BUT ITS RUINING MY CLASSIC JOKE

1Isjgc0oX0s

[executioneer]

i dont know what thread that is

[kahljorn]

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showpost.php?p=750196&postcount=2

:(

[kahljorn]

thanks willie

i almost did something like that to my post too :(

[executioneer]

okay

just fyi you should usually use something like "[spoiler=jerks" and "[spoiler=faces" instead of just [spoiler if you're using more than one spoiler or else itll fuck up like that

i usually use the equals for SUPER SECRATS that you can only read when you quote the post, too

[executioneer]

liek this :eek:eek:eek :x :eek :x

[Fathom Zero]

http://lemondemon.bandcamp.com/track/really-cool-wig

[Esuohlim]

liek this :eek:eek:eek :x :eek :x

Oh no you don't >:

[executioneer]

why not

pretty much everyone i like on here i can talk to on facebook anyways

[Fathom Zero]

it's a booty jihad up in here

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

thats the best song title ever

[executioneer]

i idnt realize i-mockery was under booty sharia law

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

thats very idnt of you then.

[Fathom Zero]

fgt

[Ex Leper]

I feel bad for the new members who join just to participate in the SS event. Especially when they attempt to join in 3 days before the deadline :\. Then again maybe it's better that way. Maybe next year we can do a Secret santa for first timers along with the long time posters event. If they don't screw it up they can qualify for the main event the following year, kind of like SNL cast members. Just a thought

[kahljorn]

why fee bad for them they're probably just gonna try to rip us off >:

[ThrashO]

lol ima send them one of my dildos i didnt wash

[Aaarg]

i don't want to live in a world where people camp out in front of stores to get good deals on television sets

[Aaarg]

also where racism and sexism are rampant and only frowned upon in "mixed company" and everybody's a liar and a cheat and a thief

but mainly black friday shoppers, i think

[Kitsa]

I must have missed something because shyandquietguy now has a turd by his name in ThrashO's arbitrary ratings system.

[k0k0]

My birthday is pretty sucky and it's mostly my fault. I've got a sinus infection and it's keeping me from wanting to do anything other than lay down. I turned down going to a steakhouse with my mom and stepdad. Turning 30 really sucks.

[Kitsa]

I'm sorry. Happy birthday. This seems to have been a shitty week in general.

There's worse than 30.

[ThrashO]

my left rotor may need to be replaced (had the car for 2 months) and it's probably going to set me back around $300 total. It could probably just be resurfaced but last time I was in this situation they refused to resurface it because it was worn down to much (bullshit) and they are going to find every way to charge an arm and a leg.

Also not driving it right now means I get to stay at home with my room mates for thanksgiving instead of visiting family.

woohoo

[ThrashO]

I must have missed something because shyandquietguy now has a turd by his name in ThrashO's arbitrary ratings system.

all I can say is he did it to himself

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Arbitrarily Sophia has been dancing to the inspector gaget dubstep drop.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

My birthday is pretty sucky and it's mostly my fault. I've got a sinus infection and it's keeping me from wanting to do anything other than lay down. I turned down going to a steakhouse with my mom and stepdad. Turning 30 really sucks.

You should have gotten steakout.

[ThrashO]

Arbitrarily Sophia has been dancing to the inspector gaget dubstep drop.

ScA7vDC2u10

(so have i btw)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I've been looking for her penguin the last two weeks, can't find it. Pretty sure she devoured it.

[Fathom Zero]

10kvg - http://soundcloud.com/zachcollins/x-gon-give-it-two-ya-remix

[k0k0]

my theme song - http://soundcloud.com/the-beards/you-should-consider

[Fathom Zero]

http://soundcloud.com/zachcollins/horse-meat

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

10kvg - http://soundcloud.com/zachcollins/x-gon-give-it-two-ya-remix

Hell yeah! Was doing the jimmy legs to this.

[k0k0]

I just saw an advertisement at the top of the screen for sexy arab girls. I caught it just as I clicked to the next page, so I didn't get a chance to take a screenshot, but has anyone else seen it? Or was I imagining things?

[k0k0]

Found it. It would only pop up when I searched the political section for some reason.

http://i.imgur.com/2G4pe.jpg

[Guitar Woman]

:lol

[Kitsa]

An article for when you don't fetch the sammitch fast enough. (???)

Prevention magazine tells you how to hide bruises (http://www.prevention.com/defy-your-age/blog/how-get-rid-bruise?cm_mmc=ETNTNL-_-736160-_-11232011-_-body)

[kahljorn]

soo turns out my fine is500 dollars

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Thats the larriest fine ever :(

[Esuohlim]

:lol :( :(

[executioneer]

even after mitigation? jesus fuck, california

[b_squared]

California applies penalties to each fine that's assessed, and these penalties can double or triple the amount you actually owe the court.
My last ticket was $35 but after the court attached filing fees, documentation fees and what ever else it came to $175.00

[Pentegarn]

Thats the larriest fine ever :(
I agree with Milpool :lol

[Fathom Zero]

Prevention magazine tells you how to hide bruises (http://www.prevention.com/defy-your-age/blog/how-get-rid-bruise?cm_mmc=ETNTNL-_-736160-_-11232011-_-body)
bruising easily is something many women experience because we tend to be low on iron in our blood

I think it's more because they get 'spoken to' a lot.

[Guitar Woman]

Now that I have friends outside the internet I feel like I should fake my own death and leave the country to get away from them

That's normal, right?

[k0k0]

If your friends are as sucky as your heroin, then yes.

[Guitar Woman]

I'm glad you guys are still jealous that I used to get higher every day than you will in your entire lives, but that's not the issue here.

[ThrashO]

Wow dude, you're bad. Like power glove bad.

Man it sure is a shitty feeling when your phone has been broken for a week and when you finally get a new one you only have 1 text message and it's from your mom

:tear

[kahljorn]

you got really high on heroin that you don't know how to do

and kratom :lol

SON YOU DONT EVeN KNOW

I DID MORPHINE AND OXYCODONE ALL thE TIME
I SMOKED WEED EVERYDAY
I SMOKED METH SOMETIMES
I DID DXM evErY otHER DAY FOR LIKE TWO YEARS WHICH IS THE GREATeST DRUG EVeR
ANDAYAHSUCA AND CRYSTAL DMT AND ecStACY AND ACID AND SHROOMS AND FUCKI DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE. KETAMENE.
MESCALINE
PLUS MORE PILLS THAN YOUR LITTLE vAGINA COULD SMUGGLE ACROSS THE BORDER

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? OH YEA KRATOM AND SOME WEED?
I RemEMBER ReADINg ABOUT KRATOM WHEN I DID AYAHUSCA AND MESCALINE AND THOUGHT THAT SHIT SOUNDED STUPID>

THAT SHITS LIKE COFFEE FOR BABIES

[Dimnos]

What did you get fined for khal? Indecent exposure?

[k0k0]

He got fined for being cool but rude without saying "Gimme a break"

[executioneer]

better than getting fined for doing machines i guess

[Guitar Woman]

DXM is a terrible drug and I regret doing it more than twice.

Ever tripped on Diphenhydramine? That's fucking hilarious, Kahl, do that shit. You'd like it.

[Fathom Zero]

You're cute

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

My friends used to do dxm a lot our senior year.right when finch's she burns came out. So my friend wearing a yellow hoodie rocking out with a pool cue screaming "shut uuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppp" for a week straight.

Months later he found out he didn't know the words.

[Guitar Woman]

I'm about as attractive as a deep sea predator with acne and sideburns.

Despite this, I've been invited to watch this flirty smart girl I know do stand-up at a bar and I'm not fucking comfortable with it. I'm a total asshole who is not pleasant to look at or be around. I don't know why the fuck this is happening.

[k0k0]

I remember when my roommates were doing some kind of science in my kitchen making pure dxm. I didn't take it but they did and I went to sleep. I woke up to a bunch of paramedics in the house with my roomie's girlfriend being put on a stretcher. Apparently she just kind of went to sleep while talking to him and he couldn't get her to wake up, even by slapping her. So that was a fun night of taking my roommate to the hospital to see his girlfriend. Don't do dxm kids.

[Esuohlim]

If it makes you feel any better GW I jacked off a couple of times to that picture of you at work all buttoned down w/ a tie

[Zhukov]

:lol

[kahljorn]

DXM is a terrible drug and I regret doing it more than twice.PUSSY

DXM IS FUCKING SO AMAZING. IT IS AN OPIATE AND A DISASSOCIATE I DUNNO WHAT THAT DIPHENHYDRAMINE SHIT IS DO YOU THINK ITS SIMILAR CAUSE THEY BOTH TREAT COUGHS? THEY USED TO USE CODEINE IN COUGH SYRUP TOO...

the trick is to not eat or drink before/when you do it. If you do it will ruin your high/make you sick. BUT THAT PRETTY MUCH GOES FOR ALL goOD HALLUcINAgeNS/DRUGS

i used to get 50 grams of it in pure form for 25 dollars. I could trip off of that for about a year.

i probably had about seven thousand out of body experiences on it. Just lay down, turn some awesome music on and eventually you can't feel your body and you have hella crazy hallucinations. also you have to be in the dark for the hallucinations to be really vivid.

I CANT EVEN BEgIN TO TELL YOU THE CRAZY TRIPS I HAD

OK I WILL BEGIN TO TELL YOU SOME OF THE CRAZY TRIPS I HAD

one time i was in a GARDEN and i felt like WAtER and the ARCHANGEL MICHEAL WHO WAS AN ELECTRIC BUTTERFLY LANDED ON MY BODY AND SENT ELECTRICITY UP MY SPINE. I COULD FEEL THE ELECTRICITY.

ONE time I GOT SHOT OUT OF MY BODY AND I WAS MOvINg SO FUCKING FAST AND I WENT SOMEWHERE WHERE THERE WASNT AIR AND I BECOME LIGHTER THAN NOT AIR. ALSO I BECAME BUDDHA AND WENT TO THIS DARK COLD AIRLESS PLACE THAT WAS RED AND HEAVY. BEFORE THAT THERE WAS A GREEN PLACE.

ONE tiME I HYPNOtIZed SOMEone WHEN I WAS ON DXM

IF YOU WATCH MOvieS WHILE YOURE HIGH ON IT YOU SOMEHOW gET SUCKed INTO THE MOvIe AND THINK YOU ARE A CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE AND ALL THE STUFF IN THE MOVIE COMES OUT OF THE SCREEN AT YOU AND SHIT

LIKE IT WAS AROUND THE TIME TOM GOES TO THE MAYOR CAME OUT AND ALL KINDS OF CRAZY SHIT WAS GOING ON IN MY ROOM

ALSO BLUEGENDER WAS PRETTY AMAZING ON IT

fuck i miss it :(

[Guitar Woman]

I certainly don't miss the cognitive impairment or my brain feeling like fucking soup every time I came down

I also don't miss thinking I was coming up with a bunch of profound thoughts while high when in reality I was just staring at the wall like a fucking retard

[kahljorn]

SerIOUSLY I HYPNOTIZEd SOMEONE WHILE I WAS ON DXM

[kahljorn]

DXM HAS ONE OF THE BEST AFTER-EFFECTS OUT OF ALL DRUgS

BUT I GUESS YOU WOULDN"T KNOW THAT WITH YOUR VAST EXPERIENCE OF KRATOM AND GUAVA JUiCE

[Guitar Woman]

See? I even spelled cognitive wrong because DXM made me into a retard

well, more of a retard

[kahljorn]

YOUR BRAINS A PUSSY

[kahljorn]

MY BRAIN PROBABLY HAS A THOUSAND HOLES IN IT AND IT WORKS JUST GREAT

[Guitar Woman]

I don't even see the point anymore. Everything I thought I was getting from DXM, I'm actually getting from shrooms and LSD.

It's a drug for impoverished children.

[Guitar Woman]

oh fuck yes I don't have to go anywhere tonight

god I hate being with other people

[kahljorn]

YOURE JUIST A PUSSY WHO CANT HANDLE DXM IN LARGE DOSES

IT PROBABLY MAKES YOU CRY

SO YOU TAKE ONE HIT OF ACID AND EAT ONE MUSHROOM AND THINK YOURE HIGH

[Guitar Woman]

Well, I had a couple of third-plat doses, but I didn't even remember them. I don't see the point of getting so high that you black out.

My favorite thing to do was just take about 450 milligrams, put on Ziggy Stardust, sit in a room without windows, turn the lights off, block the crack under the door, and stare into the darkness until I started hallucinating, mostly about space travel. I also remember a bunch of really tall alien shamans and thinking I was a wizard.

Kinda fun, not really worth it.

[k0k0]

It's not really worth it to associate with alien shamans while being a wizard? You suck.

[Guitar Woman]

No, I mean it wasn't worth the brain damage.

Dissociatives (Ketamine, DXM, PCP, MXE, et. al.) cause brain lesions, which are microscopic holes in your brain matter that can develop into cancer and impair your ability to remember and focus on things.

That's why I love the shit out of kratom, because it's got stimulant alkaloids that feel like adderall and help me not be a fucking burn-out. Then again, I spent basically ages 8 to 14 associating the feeling of stimulants with normality, so maybe I'm just a lifelong addict, I dunno.

[k0k0]

Maybe if you damage your brain enough, you'll get to be a wizard all the time. And the whole world will be alien. Get to casting spells, harry potter.

[ThrashO]

better than getting fined for doing machines i guess

Well, I had a couple of third-plat doses, but I didn't even remember them. I don't see the point of getting so high that you black out.

My favorite thing to do was just take about 450 milligrams, put on Ziggy Stardust, sit in a room without windows, turn the lights off, block the crack under the door, and stare into the darkness until I started hallucinating, mostly about space travel. I also remember a bunch of really tall alien shamans and thinking I was a wizard.

Kinda fun, not really worth it.

That's what a 13 year old makes up when he pretends to smoke weed to the older kids.

[Guitar Woman]

Except with DXM it actually happens. The only hallucinations you get from weed are, like, fleeting glimpses of out-of-focus insects that dart behind something as soon as you look at them (although to be fair that could just be HPPD from the diphenhydramine). I also used to hear things and think they were other things, like my shower sounding like frogs.

That was a long time ago, though. I don't think I'll ever be able to get that high again.

[k0k0]

You can hallucinate on weed. I've hallucinated on it before, pretty badly when we decided to make brownies using a whole ounce of weed. My friends and I didn't feel shit for 4 hours, split up to go our separate ways.
I was delivery driving sandwiches to an apartment complex, walking into the office when all of a sudden I realized the world was in slow motion. The lady at the desk in the office said something to me and I saw her sound wave slowly coming to me. I couldn't hear anything she said until it hit me. Then on the way back I was listening to music in the car and thought I was at a concert...while driving. I told the boss I was feeling sick and went home to lay down.
I caught up with my friends the next day and they told me that they went to a movie since I had to work, but didn't end up going in because the walls were melting and everything was strange. One of them thought he had hit a person while driving home, but when he stopped, there was nothing there at all and no car damage.

It could be that the weed had something in it, it was a mix of 3 different friends' pot, but we had smoked each of them in separate instances and nothing happened those times.

Oh, and don't use a whole ounce of weed in brownies. Especially if you're only using a manual pepper grinder to make it smaller. It was gritty as hell and tasted even worse.

[Guitar Woman]

Well, shit, that sounds fucking awesome. Maybe I should try eating it.

[ThrashO]

Sometimes I get so stoned that I think I've already seen everything that's going to happen and I get confused asking everyone what's going on, but as things are said and happen I call them in my head and it trips me the fuck out. This effect only happens after my 4th or 5th bowl pack.

[Esuohlim]

is this thread about drugs now

i know a lot about smoking some drugs

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[executioneer]

i made some weed cookies (components extracted using alcohol/evaporation; SCIENCE) and ate 12 out of 15 of them, then the whole world turned to about a 45 degree angle for a while

after i woke up i threw up so hard you could tell by the pattern of burst capillaries exactly what direction i was looking whilst puking

fun times?

[Babs]

You season those cookies with some bath salts?

[Zhukov]

The other night I was caught by the cops painting a wall, so I legged it and hid in a blackberry bush while they searched for me. I had to stay there for about two hours, and I swear to god the torch light passed over me a few times.

I've never been to gaol.

[k0k0]

That sounds like some of my nights a while back. Glad you weren't caught.

We had broke into these portables in a school near our old house once. We found out it was a place they'd send the bad kids. But inside the bathroom was a bunch of inspirational posters. We totally fucked them up to say bad things. Then we stole walkie talkies that were sitting in there plus the chargers. It was awesome because our house was close enough to the school that we could hear the teachers talking over the walkie talkies. Sometimes we'd harass the teachers. Like there was this teacher called Ms. Gay and we'd ask to speak to Ms. Very Gay. And just saying poop or eat a dick over it every now and then. I think they were trying to triangulate us once because they kept telling us to keep talking and that they were interested in what we had to say or something.

[Kitsa]

what were you painting?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I've gotten stuck in mirrors while on weed for quite some time.

[Shyandquietguy]

Sometimes I get so stoned that I think I've already seen everything that's going to happen and I get confused asking everyone what's going on, but as things are said and happen I call them in my head and it trips me the fuck out. This effect only happens after my 4th or 5th bowl pack.

Yet you couldn't anticipate a woman dumping you?

What a waste of time.

[ThrashO]

Hey guys my gf dumped me :tear

[Dimnos]

Again?

[Shyandquietguy]

Hey guys my gf dumped me :tear

Well I'll be, looks like some progress hasn't been made.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

You now have to take a dump on her.

[Shyandquietguy]

Or maybe he should suck on her tit.

[Fathom Zero]

That's rather sad. You seem like a real catch!

[Zhukov]

We had broke into these portables in a school near our old house once. We found out it was a place they'd send the bad kids. But inside the bathroom was a bunch of inspirational posters. We totally fucked them up to say bad things. Then we stole walkie talkies that were sitting in there plus the chargers. It was awesome because our house was close enough to the school that we could hear the teachers talking over the walkie talkies. Sometimes we'd harass the teachers. Like there was this teacher called Ms. Gay and we'd ask to speak to Ms. Very Gay. And just saying poop or eat a dick over it every now and then. I think they were trying to triangulate us once because they kept telling us to keep talking and that they were interested in what we had to say or something.

Hahaha. Hmm, eat a dick, yes, very interesting. KEEP TALKING.


what were you painting?

Lots of colourful and exciting letters on a rather drab, boring and grey wall.

[kahljorn]

Well, shit, that sounds fucking awesome. Maybe I should try eating it.

maybe the most experienced drug user on this message board should try eating weed once. :rolleyes and you only had third plateau doses and you blacked out? What a pussy. I had fourth plateau like every other night and remembered everything

[ThrashO]

Guys my bf dumped me :x

[Chojin]

when did all of you start doing drugs

should i start doing drugs too to fit in and be cool

[kahljorn]

nah you're good you've already done two drugs that i know of:

fat and musclejerk

[k0k0]

When you ride the high of cheeseburgers, it can only end in death or musclejerk.

[Chojin]

*sweats*

[Dimnos]

Guys my bf dumped me :x

He didnt dump you. Its just someone elses turn.

[Grislygus]

DRUGS? SON, LET OLD GUS TELL YOU BOUT DRUGS. OLD GUS DON'T GET TOASTED ANYMORE CAUSE GUS IS A WINNER

OLD GUS JUST LEGALLY BINGE DRINKS HIS BRAIN CELLS INTO OBLIVION LIKE ALL THE OTHER RESPONSIBLE ADULTS OBEYING OUR FINE GOVERNMENT'S LAWS

[k0k0]

I'm totally drugged up on xanax so I'm gonna give you folks some truths. Truth is, I need to be in a mental home again. I barely leave my house out of fear of nothing. I only go out to get groceries, play pool for a short time(sometimes), and doctors. And if where I need to go is out of the safe radius, I flip the fuck out. So working from home has its advantages, but for me, the disadvantages are fucking up my life. I am gonna go get checked in to a mental place. One way or another I'm going to get over this bullshit. And then when I do, I'm going to visit each and every one of you with my fist. Inside my fist will be a token for spending one day with me. And we shall have fun times of your choosing. But first, I need to get better. I shall get better. We will see. Why all this now? Well, I found it sad that I couldn't even go to thanksgiving with my mom because my sister's house is too far. It's out of the unsafe zone. Time to get checked into the home.

If you don't hear from me after. Have a merry christmas and a dick of a chaunakaaka

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:( ima miss you homie.

My friend has that thing too so I don't see him that often.

[ThrashO]

take care dude...

throw lots of feces at the mental hospital employees for me :tear

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

DRUGS? SON, LET OLD GUS TELL YOU BOUT DRUGS. OLD GUS DON'T GET TOASTED ANYMORE CAUSE GUS IS A WINNER

OLD GUS JUST LEGALLY BINGE DRINKS HIS BRAIN CELLS INTO OBLIVION LIKE ALL THE OTHER RESPONSIBLE ADULTS OBEYING OUR FINE GOVERNMENT'S LAWS

AMEN

[Kitsa]

I will have one dick of a chaunakaaka for you. Get better soon :(

[Zhukov]

That's shit Koko, hope to see you better by the new year. :\

[k0k0]

Yeah, I'm setting it up with a local crazy house now. Should be fun, although they want me to remove all drawstrings and belts from any pants. This should be a problem because all the clothes I wear are 5 sizes too big due to chojin's stupid workout deal. I'm gonna be walking around the halls with my pants falling off if I don't decide to buy new pants before I go.

[kahljorn]

just wear those pajamas that they give to everyone

the light blue ones

[k0k0]

Nah, people wear whatever they want there. They don't give clothes to wear.

[kahljorn]

WHATS A MENtAL INSTitUTION WIThOUT COMPLIMENtARY PAJAMAS

[ThrashO]

thats why you gotta go there naked.

free pajamas plus they'll know you mean business

[Kitsa]

Free pajamas are cold. Dress warm, optimally in layers.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Need some of those forever lazy's

https://www.orderforeverlazy.com/

[captain516]

well, I'm back for a little bit. sup, guys?

[Kitsa]

Back from viewing a lights display at a little village. Highlight of the trip was a woman puking in the garbage can outside Santa's workshop.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Whats up

[Babs]

Hi William and all of I-mockery, what is up?

Is ThrashO ShyandQuietGuy now? What's going on here?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

A whole lotta nothing. I still want to go see the Rum Diary.

[Pentegarn]

I am saddened to see you are going in the looney bin k0k0, you have been interesting during a period of boring around here

Get better and get back here soon

[k0k0]

I am still here. I gotta prepare and make sure I get this sinus infection gone for good first. Seeing the ENT again tomorrow. Hopefully no more surgery.

[Aaarg]

best of luck k0k0man

[Esuohlim]

I now wish I signed up for Secret Santa so I could buy someone this

http://i.imgur.com/1ErCX.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Thats not mspainted?

[Esuohlim]

That's what I thought at first too


http://www.amazon.com/Microsoft-Windows-Video-Guide-VHS/dp/6303625991/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322539136&sr=8-1


1GWQgb015Lc

[Sam]

I'LL GIVE JENNIFER ANISTON A PROPELLER HEAD.

MADE OUT OF MY PENIS.

[Sam]

I'LL GIVE JENNIFER ANISTON A MESSY DOS BUILD-UP.

[k0k0]

I'LL GIVE JENNIFER ANISTON A PENIS IN THE SHAPE OF A PENIS.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I would make change her name jennifer analston and sodomize her with the bonesaw

[Kitsa]

you and your sodomy

[Otto]

I'd like to strangle Jennifer Aniston with a belt if you know what I mean.

Also, k0k0, they should give you some of those shitty little plastic ties to help you keep your shoes and clothes on. Hopefully they'll have something for you to do, when I was in the nuthouse all there was to do besides three sessions of group therapy and inedible meals was to pace up and down the hall.

[k0k0]

Last time I was there, I brought like 6 books and read through them all. It wasn't until I finished my last book that I wanted out of there. It was funny to see what everyone else was having to do. There were big black dudes who were suicidal or something coloring with crayons. Lots of crosswords using those little mini golf pencils. They really don't give you much to do. The meals were really great at the one I went to. Although now that I know that I have a wheat allergy, it'll suck to pick out the edible stuff.

[Otto]

The hospital I was in wouldn't let me have any books :(. They couldn't even get their story straight on why not, either. One doctor told me it because I was supposed to spend that time on "self-reflection" (Twelve days of self reflection seems like overkill) and another told me it was because I could sneak a razor blade in a book. I pretty much lied through my teeth to get out of there, I couldn't stand the boredom and smell of piss any longer and this place wasn't even a public hospital!

Also they kept me in a ward with the junkies and suicidal people, and put all of the delusional psychotics in their own little locked hall, I couldn't imagine having to deal with the screamers and seizure people on top of all that.

[Guitar Woman]

My therapist wouldn't let me have anything to read because he was afraid I'd get lost in fantasy and shirk my therapy, which I was already doing anyway via stalking the pretty schizophrenic girl down the hall who had screaming seizures a lot.

Fuck him, though, I managed to smuggle Dune and Inferno out of the ward library. I probably got more lasting mental stimulation out of those books and talking about drugs with my cokehead roommate than I did in 6 months of professional treatment.

Also, the water in that place tasted like plastic. I'm not even sure how it's possible to fuck up water, but they did it.

[b_squared]

k0k0
Hope things work out.

[Otto]

Before I got out, I was conniving with a friend to have all of the pages from my copy of Naked Lunch pasted into a crossword puzzle book (They would let us have puzzle books, but not novels, what the fuck). Also I lied through my teeth about my drug use because they were also a drug treatment facility and I really didn't feel like schlepping through Narcotics Anonymous meetings every night because I admitted to smoking pot and using acid regularly.

[Guitar Woman]

Honestly, though, I think looney bins are the best places to meet really awesome and interesting people. Despite the fact that all mental ward staff members are semi-retarded and completely fucking psychotic, I'd totally get committed again if given the opportunity and if I could leave any time I wanted.

Be sure to make a good first impression with the fuckers, koko. I recommend showing up on psilocybin.

Before I got out, I was conniving with a friend to have all of the pages from my copy of Naked Lunch pasted into a crossword puzzle book.
Or do this, then share the love with the most unstable patients you can find

[executioneer]

man now i want to get put in a crazy house thanks a lot you guys >:

[Esuohlim]

Being put in the crazy house wouldn't change my current lifestyle too much :(

New thread backups: http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69708076

[kahljorn]

I'd totally get committed again if given the opportunity and if I could leave any time I wanted.

You can if you commit yourself.

now you can have all the fun you want!

[k0k0]

Guy gave his cheating girlfriend a shitty tattoo.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3967502/Tatt-poo-for-cheating.html

[Zhukov]

Ahaha. Classic.

I hope he doesn't have to pay for damages - I can forget most of the injustices in the world if only people like that would get what they deserve.

[Shyandquietguy]

I sent ItalianStereotype a PM, but I have to go to bed now.

Dics + bics = itch

What a bitch

[ItalianStereotype]

for me? aw, shucks.

[Pentegarn]

Guy gave his cheating girlfriend a shitty tattoo.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3967502/Tatt-poo-for-cheating.html


Ahaha. Classic.

I hope he doesn't have to pay for damages - I can forget most of the injustices in the world if only people like that would get what they deserve.

From what I understand from the source I got this story from (which had the same general details), he made her sign a waiver clearing him of responsibility for 'artistic interpretation'. So a decent lawyer should keep him in the clear. Her story of "he got me drunk" will be difficult to prove, while the signed waiver is physical evidence. Sounds open and shut to me anyway.

Also, I liked the comment "well she shit on him first"

[Pentegarn]

Awww, turns out the tattoo story may in fact be a hoax :(

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/883324-did-man-really-give-cheating-girlfriend-poo-tattoo-in-ultimate-revenge

[Kitsa]

Dayton has enough tattoo drama. There was a big craigslist battle between a divorcing couple, tattoo artists. They accused each other of all kinds of things- one had hep c, the other one was so drugged-up they couldn't even walk straight, blah blah blah.

It never made any Dayton news that I know of.

[Pentegarn]

I assume all tattoo artists have hep c

[Kitsa]

The one who did my mom's was in a "liberal" town and she was fairly nice.

Mom had to have a bunch of her back removed for cancer stuff and she stuck an atomic symbol on the damage.

[Guitar Woman]

All right, you know what? Sobriety is fucking elephant shit, and it has no place in my life. I haven't felt this fucking low since I was forcibly seperated from the first person I fell in love with. So, fuck quitting; I am relapsing as soon as possible, and I am going to continue enjoying my life and being awesome at everything I do, because I'll be on drugs all the fucking time.

Yeah, maybe I'll be a pathetic, servile junkie who only shits every 3 days and whose routine schedule is dominated by chemicals, but I don't give one goddamn fuck, because that shit improves the quality of my life in every way you can possibly imagine. Except for shitting, but I'm going to make an effort to replace my entire diet with almonds so I won't have to pass chunks of cement twice a week.

Relinquishing addiction has made me more apathetic towards life than I've ever been, even when I was a DXM tard. I don't shave, I don't write, I don't hang out with friends, I don't work, I don't do fucking anything. I'm just a miserable, joyless, cold, unproductive sack of shit who's no fun for anyone. Narcotics Anonymous can go suck the tits I wish I had.

[Fathom Zero]

You turned out to be everything I hoped.

[Guitar Woman]

Thank you, illegitimate offspring of Tom Petty!

:pagebrak